Essence was a wondrous, frustrating thing.

I could literally feel it refreshing my mind as I consciously drew in the specks of it, but the process was so atrociously slow and annoying that I almost tried to claw up the metaphysical flakes of energy.

Learning how to do even that much had taken me three days. Three! Days! Of nothing but repetitive lectures on how to sense, interact with, and draw in Essence.

All while I was stuck in bed, kept under the watchful eyes of my exasperating captor, ripper, and girlfriend.

I loved that last aspect of the three-faced menace she'd become, but it was taking me some serious mental gymnastics not to start feeling a little resentful of Amelia. She refused to move from her post on the floor at my bedside. The only reason I was putting the effort in to begin with, of course, was because I knew she was just worried about me.

Extremely worried about me.

Still, I could do without the disapproving looks and endless checks of my vitals whenever I did something 'stupid.' Like, say, stretching.

Anyway, I was probably working myself up to such a state because I was frustrated to begin with, and Essence was definitely at fault there.

'Sensing' the Essence wasn't so bad. I'd already done it once while paying attention. I could very easily conjure up the image of it floating all around me, even if I couldn't define which sense I was using to observe it, exactly.

Interacting with it was much trickier, though. I had to lean on my mental stats. Just succeeding at 'touching' the motes had netted me an extra point in Cognition, Adaptability, and Soul.

But that didn't make it easier to perform the odd task of 'drawing the Essence in.' The best success I'd had was imagining my mind as a vast net I cast out and used to reel in the motes, but they all got lost inside my body long before they ever reached the odd spot behind my navel.

It was one and a half days in, while I lay there 'watching' Amelia scarf down mote after mote, that I remembered the odd sensation of Essence streaming into me of its own volition. It had faded once my reserves had recharged.

Suddenly, I was inspired.

Instead of trying to jump through a bunch of mental hoops, I just… felt out my own body, focused on the slightly foreign yet familiar sensations of my cybernetics, and then pushed for them to draw in Essence for me.

The change was instant, and very much notable.

My arms and eyes acted almost like black holes, sucking down the Essence that had been drifting freely all around me. Even Amelia was thrown out of her meditative state to look on with wide eyes as my cybernetics gorged on Essence.

That was just the problem, though.

My cybernetics were devouring the mystical substance eagerly enough. But instead of channeling it towards that bundle of swirling Essence behind my navel, they… 'processed' it, for lack of a better word. Then they fed the slightly altered Essence to the rest of my body.

I could only watch in frustration as considerable amounts of Essence melted into my muscles, bones, and everything else they could reach. Most of it was consumed by the areas of my body directly around my cybernetics, but some travelled further, primarily clustering around my injuries.

Injuries which, as Amelia noted a couple hours later, were healing faster than expected.

Met with that good news, I naturally kept up the process, at least until I abruptly felt tired and dizzy. I'll admit I panicked a little then. I panicked much more when I cast my new senses out and realized there was far too much eyes-modified Essence swamping my brain.

I immediately stopped letting my cybernetics assist me. Then I waited anxiously until my brain slurped up all of that delicious, delicious Essence, wondering the whole time what allowing my eyes to play with such an essential (heh) organ had done to me, exactly.

Amelia accessed what diagnostics and scans she could. She failed to note any major alterations to my brain tissue, but the fact that she could spot a few minor ones was alarming enough.

We mutually agreed that I would let her beat me up if I chose to experiment recklessly with my body like that ever again.

The quick route having failed, I was forced to resort to the slower and more frustrating process. A process I knew I could improve. I mean, after the fight with the lovers, it hadn't just been my cybernetics drawing in Essence like a black hole. It had been all of me. My human body had drawn in and processed Essence on its own.

I was hoping that meant I had enough 'regular' Essence in me to dilute the cybernetics-processed stuff, if not neutralize it.

Honestly, it was all confusing, scary, and considerably upsetting. But this was the only way I knew how to improve my mind.

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"I'm just going to rely on munchies," I eventually declared, tired and cranky and a bit sore from all the lying around. "I'll take the guilt and legal prosecution of murder any day over this fucking nonsense."

Amelia just sighed, having heard variations of this complaint several times over the last day or so. "No you won't."

"And how do you know that?"

"I know that because I know you, Adrian. Maybe we haven't been together for very long, but you could have turned and eaten me by now. Could have hacked the doors on the surrounding apartments and done the same to the innocent people living there, too. So, could we move on from the bitching about your horrible fate and do something productive now? Or, you know, cuddle?"

It kind of hurt to be called out like that, actually. Not because I wanted to be a remorseless monster or anything! I just… well, I couldn't properly put the emotion into words, but I felt very vulnerable and unprepared to deal with things at the moment.

Predictably, what followed was a mushy feeling of contentment that she trusted me so much. That didn't change my answer, though.

"No. You're not coming anywhere near me," I declared firmly, as I had done the night before when she'd tried to climb into bed with me.

"Why not?!"

"Because I'm smelly, sweaty, and you won't let me take a shower."

"You could hurt yourself! It's better if you rest. I can wipe you down, you know. It's not a big deal. Immobile patients need that kind of assistance all the time. It's bad enough you insist on making the trips to the toilet with minimal assistance."

"Amelia, I don't care how much I'm falling in love with you ridiculously fast. I am not letting you 'wipe me down' or clean me after sitting on the toilet, got it?" I snapped irritably, only to flush when I realized what I'd said.

I glanced over to find her flushed and gaping at me. An uncharitable comparison would have been to a junky who'd found themselves in front of a speeding car. All frozen shock and derpy expressions, rather than dodging and evasion.

Then, of course, a sly look slid onto her face as she pitched her voice just-so. "Oho, you're falling for me, hmmm?"

Putting her hands on the edge of the bed, she started to shimmy her way up 'seductively' from where she'd been sitting on the floor. The way she was shaking her butt was hilarious rather than appealing, though. I had to hold back a snicker before I fixed my lips in a stern frown and raised my hand.

"Apa pa pa, hands off my bed, lady!"

The way her whole body froze almost broke me.

"That's my bed, you ass."

"You put me in it. So, my bed now. Also, a no is still a no. No shower means no cuddles, and definitely no kissing."

"Fine! Be like that!" She sat back with a huff and crossed her arms under her breasts, pushing them up on purpose.

Silly goose. Like I'd fall for the mere temptation of breasts!

Well, fine, I might have. But I was stinky and definitely not feeling romantical at the moment.

She lasted all of fifteen minutes before dramatically tossing up her arms. "Okay! Sure! You can go take a shower. Slip, fall, and die for all I care! Or better yet, break your spine and then get stuck in your bed forever. See if I care."

I cleared my throat. "Isn't there a new spine on the way for me? Wouldn't that care of the issue?"

"No! Because if you fuck up all your nerves, I'd have to put in a ton of work to fix you up, and I don't do that for stuck-up prudes who won't let me get my cuddles."

I scooted my way over to the edge of the bed. Then, ever so slowly, I stood up. After lying down for so long, I felt both wobbly and like I was floating a little. But the sheer relief my poor skin felt when I removed the pressure of lying down was so heavenly, I moaned a little.

Then, of course, I wobbled, because I was apparently set to prove Amelia right that day. It didn't help that my back and shoulder were protesting already, so… there was that.

"Ugh, seriously, I can't believe I'm doing this shit for you," my disgruntled ripper grumbled.

My eyes widened as she started stripping her clothes off, right then and there.

"Um… Amelia? What are you doing? I mean… I'm not complaining, but…"

My voice got caught in my throat as she threw her shirt off and then shimmied out of her pants, leaving her in her underwear. Which she then also proceeded to remove.

I might have blue screened there. Full operating system reboot required and all that shit.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" She sneered at me. Somehow, it only made her look prettier. Not that she needed any help. She had a very full, voluptuous figure I was having trouble looking away from. "You're going to get yourself killed going into the shower alone, so I'm going in with you. And if you complain again, I'm going to drown you in the toilet bowl water."

"N-No, no complaints! No complaints at all…"

She sniffed. "Typical. Men. Now let's get those clothes off of you."

There was no hesitation as she helped me do just that. Only calm professionalism. She was acting like my ripper instead of my girlfriend again, except I seriously doubted most rippers would willingly strip down to help their patients into a shower.

I did consider the slight flush on her face a minor victory, though.

I also couldn't find it in me to be very upset when we were both under the spray of hot water, awkwardly trying to get through the motions of a regular shower together.

There wasn't much talking done at all. What little of it did occur was mostly in the form of grumbled instructions on how to avoid pulling on my injuries and making them worse. I did, however, note that her hands lingered for a bit longer than strictly necessary while helping me wash, and they strayed to areas I could have handled just fine myself.

She really did seem to like my chest. Not that I didn't reciprocate the feeling with all the glances I stole of her own body.

Then there were certain… biological inevitabilities you'd get putting two naked young adults together inside a shower, which we both very pointedly tried to ignore. Even if either of us had wanted to try something, the sad fact of the matter was that if we did, I'd end up needing emergency care.

Again.

So it was that two very flushed but clean individuals emerged from that bathroom about an hour later. I waited awkwardly while she changed out the bedding. Then, at last, we both collapsed into bed.

Figuratively, of course.

She'd never let me flop into it or land on the delightfully soft mattress roughly. In fact, she was watching me like a very pretty hawk until bandages were reapplied and I was settled again.

Then she cuddled up against me with her entire face, neck, and chest still burning red. Funnily enough, both of us had 'forgotten' to put our clothes back on, and neither of us felt a particular need to point that out.

"Thanks," I finally made myself whisper, which got a giggle out of her.

"Just looking after you. You can thank me for it properly, later."

I looked at her mischievously sparkling eyes and her self-satisfied smile, and I could only laugh along.

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