Alex woke groggily to a hiss and a screech. Drool pooled on the tiled floor under his bruised face which he had landed on, and the voices around him came in a muffled womping argument. Another hiss cut through, this one with a crack of energy that sent a pan clattering against the wall.
"Uuuuuunnnnggggggg." He moaned and tried to open his eyes as awareness wiggled a semblance of brain activity.
"Bah! Calmati, gattino! Voglio solo controllarlo!" Calm down, kitten! I just want to check him! A concerned female voice yelled. The hiss returned even more viciously.
"Girafess of Nino's, I beg of you, please communicate in a language His Girthdom can understand. My liege is quite stubborn once his mind is set upon a task. I ask that you HEED YOUR WORDS!" Someone bellowed a few inches from his ear.
He knew that voice. And that distinct smell of earth and coconut oil.
"I tell you he make it, see?" Nina ignored the hissing of Emilio to float over and look down at Alex. "Strong. From my food, plus he clever boy. But still, out of way, cat! He is my worker!"
Emilio spun to hiss up at Nina as Alex came to. Gravewhistle tried to prevent the two from going at it, nervously placing his porcelain body between them while Alex picked himself off the floor. Everyone argued and didn't notice him. Emilio growled with a crackling arched back and poofy tail, screeching into the faces of Francesca and Nina, who yelled back and flailed their hands in Italian gestures. Gravewhistle yelled about decorum and quickly lost control of the situation.
Alex sat up, shaking his head, and caught a smirking, smoking Nino smiling at him from a wooden stool. The old man winked at him and threw the crazy finger loop next to his head before pointing at everyone arguing. Emilio's fur was cracking louder, green eyes flaring as the women argued back. Nina waved a wooden spoon dangerously towards Emilio and Francesca stamped her feet. It was building towards a fully fledged fight, and who was stronger, an angry Lich Nonna or a Lightning Gnome Cat…God?
"Guys," Alex croaked as Nina shoved her face into Emilio's screeching one. "I'm OK. Hello?"
Emilio, standing defiantly in front of him with hackles raise, did not hear Alex's voice. The cat was doing that sideways spooky walk that cats do. Except Alex was pretty sure Emilio could blow up a building if he wanted to. Nina and Francesca completely ignored his movement as well. He was exhausted, and his chest felt like it had been kicked by a horse. There was barely a lick of Essence available in him and his stomach groaned from hunger. Exhausting one's stores took energy straight from the body, zapping away life force permanently and potentially breaking apart Skills in unknown ways. Alex felt like he could house a whole table of food and sleep for a week.
Still Emilio, Nina, and Francesca yelled at each other, seemingly unaware that he was sitting up and definitely not dead.
"GUYS!" He yelled out louder, which silenced the arguing. "I'm awake!"
With raised hackles and glowing cat eyes, Emilio turned to regard Alex. Nina's wooden spoon dipped down from the cat's face, Francesca gaped at him, and Gravewhistle let out a long sigh of relief. A bolt of electricity shot out of Emilio's fur and sent a spoon on a table flying.
The cat registered Alex was aware, and Emilio's fur flattened out before the thirty pound cat launched.
"Mrrrrrooooooow!"
"Ooof!" Alex wheezed as Emilio's bulk tackled him back to the tiles. Static zapped his skin as his cat rubbed his face all over Alex's cheeks and chest with a desperate affection.
"Hey-ow-okay, buddy, I get it—OW." Alex took the love from Emilio and the zaps that came with it.
"I was so worry! I sorry! I sorryyyyyy!" Francesca wailed and crouched next to Alex, not coming too close.
Emilio stopped his purring to bare his teeth at her. To her credit, she didn't leap back. Satisfied that she had learned her place, the cat returned to head butting Alex again.
"Wha—what time is it?" Alex asked as he managed to sit up.
"Three AM," Nino answered from his stool. "We were worry, going to send Francesca after you, until…" The old man cast a look at Gravewhistle.
"It was, in truth, a mad dash toward your last known location. When His Heftiness returned to his noble quarters and found them vacant, he was distraught. The chamber, you see, which we permitted to inhabit alongside him, was missing Alex. When dear Aria informed us of your…lateness, the alarm was raised."
"He almost break front door down!" Nina roared from across the kitchen, where she had floated over too to rummage through her fridge. Tupperware containers floated out and hovered next to her head. "Beat down the door if we no let in. Fat cat."
"At least five hours then, locked and stuck in that Dungeon," Alex shook his head before looking at Nina and Nino accusingly. "And you didn't send someone after me?! What if I died? Or was trapped forever!?"
"Bah," Nino waved his hand as if the whole ordeal was no biggie. "We no receive notification that you die. Francesca," he threw a thumb in her direction. "Was yell at us to let her through portal and go after you."
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"But I stop her," Nina continued while the tupperware opened all around her, and a plate of food assembled itself from the leftovers. When everyone looked at her, including Emilio, who sat protectively on Alex's lap, she shrugged. "I know that Dungeon hard, and I know you strong. Was dumb to go without food buff, si? Over some bet?" She gave Francesca a cold look, and the young woman looked down. "Yes. Very dumb. You would have easier time with one piece of pizza, or other food I give you. But noooooooooo. Instead, you prideful boy! Rush off because stupid girl poke."
"And then this guy was trying to leap through the portal, I'm guessing?" Alex asked as he rubbed Emilio.
"Oh yes," Gravewhistle answered. "He tried to leap through the portal multiple times."
"I make only work for employee and friends," Nina tapped the side of his nose and explained. "Else, people fall in to that place. We had problem many year ago, so I fix."
"Uhh…how many people fell in?"
"I fix, and they enjoy in there. Find new life. Immigration very normal, you know?" Nino answered as if that was the end of the conversation.
With a snap, Nina sent a wave of heat through the self-assembling plate of food. He could see the food relax as steam curled upward from the loosened pasta in its sauce and the melted cheese on the cutlet that took up half the plate. The entire assortment floated over to Alex, along with a fork, to hover in front of him.
His stomach roared and Emilio perked up at the plate. The big cat shifted on his lap to sit squarely between Alex and the food.
"Yeah, you're always hungry," Alex gently navigated around Emilio and claimed his food before smiling up at Nina. "Thanks, Nina. I'm bloody starving. That was a brutal Dungeon. And no tip, can you believe that?"
"Do you…umm…have an extra plate? Perhaps a bag of buns?" Gravewhistle asked with clasped hands.
Alex forked a steaming mouthful and shoved it in his gob. There's something that happens to pasta when it's been sitting in the fridge. Sometimes the noodles drink in too much sauce and turn gummy. Not these ones. The rigatoni had gone denser and meatier, with the edges crispy from Nina's flash reheating magic. The sauce was richer for the hours spent comingling and getting to know itself.
He moaned and ate, with his whole body sighing in relief. [Feast and Mend] drank in the food and began to heal his hurt Core.
Emilio seized the moment to snatch some melted cheese off the cutlet Nina had added, chewing with smug chomps straight from his lap. Alex didn't bother to stop him, or even to get up off the floor. Gravewhistle was presented with his own monstrous serving, which he ate on the floor and included multiple buns, shoveling in handfuls and chewing, or sucking back bread, loudly.
Nina and Nino just hung out while Francesca pestered him with questions about the Dungeon. He told them the whole story while he ate. Francesca added her own details about the Dungeon delivery she had faced. It sounded like the competition was fixed from the beginning.
"I just had to beat Dungeon Boss in race," she explained. "Was very fun! He have me go through many go-kart course with him, and I even eat snack! Biggggggg tipper too. I would go back. There was even one with rainbow I was no able to try. But next time, maybe?"
"Oh no, yeah, that sounds great. Supppper happy for you. I love when I get stuck with a nightmare Dungeon instead of go karting. Dungeon Mario Kart? I'd hate that." Alex responded deadpanned and was halfway through his food as he realized something had slipped from hand.
He had been distracted by the food, but now Emilio was pawing the wad of paper from his lap. Alex chomped, almost finished with his heavenly plate. It was unlike Nino and Nina to have trash anywhere in the shop. If the brooms wanted to not be snapped over a knee or mulched in the Garden, they best be keeping the shop tidy.
Francesca shifted closer on her knees, biting her lip and batting her eyes at him.
"I am sorry, Alex," she said softly and earnestly. "The bet is off…I made a mistake and you can keep all your tip. Even though I won," She bowed her head and put on a pouty face. "I should not have pushed you into it. I know you would say yes, I just didn't know that it would be so danger…"
"So I get to keep everything then? Not going to kick me while I'm down?" Alex joked to make her feel bad as he scooped up the paper wad. He wasn't mad at her. It was him that leapt into the portal, irked at her challenge. Might as well have a spot of fun after almost being trapped and castrated.
"Of course!" Francesca wiggled closer. Emilio didn't hiss at her and just lay like a comfortable weight in his lap. Gravewhistle was still stuffing loaves of bread saturated with oil into his bottomless empty stomach. "You forgive me?"
"What? Yeah of course I forgive you. You didn't make me jump through that portal, or try to trap me in some bullshit time loop thing and staple me to a spreadsheet," He answered while leaning in. "Plus…I even stole something from the Dungeon."
That got Nino and Nina's attention. Where Nina had been fixing Nino a plate, she turned mid air to stare at him.
"You-ah…stole something? You say you stole something from late Silver Grade Dungeon Boss?" She sounded excited, and Alex made note of the sparkles that flared at the tips of her dyed red hair. Nino too, leaned forward as he took his plate piled high with food.
"Yep," Alex answered as he unfurled the ball of paper. "It was a whole thing with Bro...you know what? Don't worry how I got it. What matters is I got it right here." He patted his pocket where the Klicker lay.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Someone knocked on the glass front door of the shop delicately. Alex guessed it was a late night foodie or someone under the influence, thinking that Nino's was open from the lights that were still on. Nino set his plate to hover in the air and shuffled to the door while muttering swear words under his breath.
Before Alex could pull out the Klicker, or read the unfurled paper left by Brody, Francesca threw herself at him. She wrapped both arms around his shoulders and sent his face right into her large chest. He was knocked back down with her smothering him, Emilio yowling as he hoped off his lap.
"I just happy you ok." Francesca cried, squeezing his head in her chest tighter.
"MmmmmOKAY. IT'S MMOOKAY," Alex muffled back, words smothered in her cleavage. The paper still clinched in his fingers. He didn't hear the conversation happening from the front, nor recognize the sharp tone the new person was speaking in.
Francesca hugged him tighter as two pairs of feet padded over from the entrance. Alex shifted his head in her breasts just enough to hear the new person who had arrived.
"This is the one that almost killed my man? And now she's mounting him?!" Snu's voice cut over Gravewhistle's munching and Francesca's hugging apology.
Francesca turned, ass in the air, to look back at the deep scowl of Mistress Snu, barely five feet tall, and one of the Dungeon Bosses of The Leather Spires.
"Oh, snap." Gravewhistle whispered, unbothered.
"Mrrrroooow." Emilio added, sounding for once genuinely nervous.
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