Dear Diary,

I swear, I am getting sick and fuckin' tired of not having a single fuckin' Season go by without something going fuckin' sideways.

Okay, that's not entirely completely fair. Yeah, some weird shit went down this Spring, but half of that was just day to day life in the here and now, where things like 'Small Dragon Attacks' are like weather; just shit that happens. Like hurricanes and school shootings back in the day. Holy shit if any motherfucker even tries that shit here and now I will make an example of them, as I hope I've made abundantly fuckin' clear. But all that aside, I guess there have been a couple seasons where the shit that went down might not have had a single conscious cause.

Like, counting on my fingers, Diana fucked up my first Summer here, then the Oranges and Ares decided to fuck around that Autumn. Apollo and Ares tag teamed the Winter, and Gregor and the Mother of Hole Spawn fucked up my Spring. I guess nothing really surprising happened the following Summer, although some awful shit went down clearing the Undead out of Calverton. Then I spent that Autumn amnesiac, followed by having to beat Morrigan's ass. Reminder to self: need to check on her sometime soon. Then last Winter I had to deal with the Mother of Water Panthers, who was a bigger Draconic Bitch than the Undead Dragon, which is impressive in an awful way. Then I spent Spring dealing with the dysfunction in the Crow family, which honestly had one of the better resolutions thus far, in my opinion. Then last Season fuckin' Loviatar fucked around all Summer, finding out right there at the end.

I figured after we had the eastern seaboard of Atlantis secured, we'd be in pretty good shape for some smooth sailing.

I am not good at this 'figuring' thing, apparently.

So yesterday at the end of the day, with all the kids exhausted from lunch cake sugar rush followed by a massive nerf battle, we had them all say their farewells to Mom and Dad, AKA Grandma and Grandpa, AKA Sigyn bearer of Dat Ass and Loki of the Lap. Because by the end of the battle half of the girls, including half of the kits, had all piled onto his lap. Twenty foot tall Jotnar dude has a lot of lap.

My displeasure at such a title is only mitigated by how adorable my grandchildren are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just smug because your lap, like you, is the best.

I know.

At any rate, as we lined up to go, Saffron leaned on me and, as I stepped us all home to head directly to bed, held one of each of us back. With Isnomi in her arms, mostly wiped out from a day of feasting and playing.

"Why we nod home?"

Saffron turned our Menaced about, then set her gently on Loki's bed to one side of him. "Because, my girl, we have one more thing we need to do with you before then."

She squinted muzzily. "My in twubble?"

Saffron leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. At that point I realized that my Kitten had in fact Mimicked Isnomi back at the Homestead and was playing the role of 'sleepy Menace' pretty fuckin' well. Then again, not hard to stumble through getting undressed and cleaned up for bed, really. "No, my girl. You are not in trouble. But..."

She kinda petered out. Long day for her as well, not to mention paying attention to three different bodies at once, two of which had to pretend to not both be her. I stepped up and squatted in front of Isnomi. "You're not in trouble, but we're worried that you might be sick. We have been for a while now."

"My thick?"

I shrugged. "We're not exactly sure. We hope not, but we need to get more information before we can tell that."

"Ah... Tay?"

I gave her a forehead kiss as well. "Mom has been working on a new Spell, one that will let us see whether you're sick or not, let us make sure there's not something going wrong with your growing. But it's a little dangerous, so we're doing it here at Grandpa and Grandma's house while all your sisters are safe at home, okay?"

"Dath good." She muttered, then her eyes slid back open. "Ith gone hurd?"

I shook my head. "No. I used the spell on Mom already, just to test it out." I turned to the two of them. "Did it hurt?"

Saffron shook her head. "Not at all. But... Isnomi?"

"Yeth, Ma?"

"You need to drop your Blend and leave it down while Mama casts this Spell on you. Can you do that?"

Now Menace looked a little suspicious, but she said, "ah tay," while going fuzzy.

After that I took a bit to calibrate the new Status Spell so it was at the very lowest end of Green for Isnomi. "Okay, Menace. I'm ready. You ready?"

She pushed herself more or less upright and nodded.

"May I cast this Spell on you?"

She nodded again, and I Cast the Spell.

Inspection Target:

Isnomi "Menace" Aetos-Diaz

Target Type

Humanoid Biped / Divine Polyped (Mor, Human, Faun, Maenad, Olympian, Jotnar)

Titles

Child, The Menace, Primordial

Matriarch

Tabitha Diaz

Attributes:

Strength: 3(T0), Agility: 4(T0), Endurance: 1(T1), Reason: 1(T1), Memory: 1(T1), Personality: 9(T1)

Skills

Aerobatics, Air Shield, Balance, Blend, Mana Shaping, Predate Scent, Swift Foot, Thick Skull

I very carefully did not let out a whistle or any other indicator of my knowledge that our two year old daughter likely had more Skills and higher mental Attributes than most Freshman Cadets. I also squashed any impulses I had regarding investigating why my child had the 'Thick Skull' Skill, hoping that it was just a Faun thing. If somebody told me Mrs. Driver had a Thick Skull, I might not be impressed with their discretion, but I wouldn't doubt the information itself. I did share what I was seeing with Saffron and Loki both, then pulled first Siobhan, then with a slight twinge of guilt for not doing so previously, Marie and Tallulah into the mental Zoom call.

Tallulah hummed, and when I made a wordless questioning noise, thought, this just cements my choice of Sire for my next offspring.

I'm not sure she got why everyone else involved laughed. Okay, Loki choked a little bit, but Saffron and Marie both laughed, which meant it was all good. Ladies? Anything weird here?

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It's incredibly unusual to see a Child with Skills, especially so many, but... She is a Primordial, thought Siobhan.

About that, thought Saffron, immediately getting everyone's attention. Love? The Child Title please?

I gave the Title a mental prod.

Child:

Child is a subjective measurement of Age, indicating that the target is no longer an Infant, but has not yet become an Adolescent or begun the process of maturing into a physical and mental Adult. This Age generally reduces Attributes and the effectiveness of Skills by up to ninety-nine percent. Physical Attributes are reduced by a minimum of fifty percent, and Skill effectiveness by a minimum of ninety percent, while mental Attributes may be reduced by as little as ten percent. This target's Attribute Reductions due to Age are: Strength: -5, Agility: -16, Endurance: -10, Reason: -9, Memory: -9, Personality: -1 Specific Skill effectiveness reductions are quantified in the descriptive measurements of those Skills

Whoa. Those are some broad... Wait, is that why the, uh, old Inspect showed Juveniles as not having Skills?

Saffron's reply could have cut glass. Indeed. A 'rounding error'.

About then Siobhan thought, pardon, Mistress, but... could you Assess her?

I really didn't want to drop the Inspect. After a second I shrugged and pushed the Shape for Assess Health out of my other cheekbone. At that point my vision wound up full of assorted screens, but if I wasn't safe here with Loki, I wasn't safe anywhere.

Assessment For: Isnomi "Menace" Aetos-Diaz Target Type: Humanoid Biped / Divine Polyped (Mor, Human, Faun, Maenad, Olympian, Jotnar) General Health: Healthy Conditions: Fatigued Recommended Treatment: Rest Granular Assessment Data: Activate: ( Y / N )

Saffron murmured, clever Archmage, using the Status to bypass any potential interference from Blend.

Thank you, Mistress. It appears she's healthy, and her Child status indicates that she's maturing normally, if perhaps a touch quickly.

Any way to be sure? I asked.

Perhaps compare her to her peers? Or... I felt some mental pressure around the 'Y' on the Granular Data. The Data scrolled up, and Siobhan took over to flip through things, humming. After a timeless pause, she announced, I see nothing amiss.

At that point, Isnomi herself confirmed the Spell's diagnosis by letting out a huge yawn, then saying, "done yed?"

After a bit of quiet laughter and a round of mental shrugs in my head, I dispersed the Spells and scooped Menace up. "Yep. All done. Ready to go home?"

Snores were my only answer.

Got home, got Menace into bed with the rest of the sleepy kids, then got bundled off to the Bedroom by Marie, who apparently wanted to reward me for a job well done on the birthday feast. By cleaning me thoroughly. I mean, the part of me she focused on hadn't really been involved, but I wasn't in any kind of state of mind to complain by the time she got there.

Big screen replay got a bunch of good natured raspberries directed at Marie by the rest of my ladies, who apparently considered my reward 'tame'. Before I could decide if I wanted to express my opinion by dragging her down to the depths, or whether that would be reward, punishment, or both at once, a distant... something came from the east. I couldn't help it, my Maw rumbled with my displeasure. My ladies all tensed, alert, as a series of sensations washed over us. Not exactly sound or sight or smell or touch, but images and words all mixed together. Each wave coming from noticeably closer, screams of warning at the approach of something that terrified the Holy Beasts of the Matriarch of Terror.

Saffron... Always Saffron, she managed a coherent thought that rang through my Maw. Ladies? Time to wake up.

I rolled out of bed to my feet, instinctively blinking The Dress on. Not sure why, just felt right, maybe the past couple days at Dad's place. I called out to my High Clergy and Loki at the same time, those were Great Kraken calling for help!

A moment later Saffron's calm, clipped voice sounded through my head. Ladies, to your Temples. I felt the ones near me leaping away, Saffron included.

Where do I go?

West Tower, M-Space Co-Location, draw Mana, prepare to transit Tentacles via Portal, prepare to deploy via Translocation.

I realized right then, as I did exactly as my tiny tyrant said, how she'd managed that trick at the Battle of the Walls. If I responded to incoming danger with pure raw animal rage and fury, she responded with cold calculation.

Ladies, Co-Locate to the Tentacles. Tabitha?

Yeah, Kitten?

I got the sense of a tight smile from her, affection skittering off her icy focus. Join the ladies on the Tentacles, and allow us to direct your Scrying, please.

I split myself and stepped to each of my High Clergy, joining them in the forecastle rooms of the Tentacles, with their built in Scrying pools. I reached out and took each of them by the hand, and we Shaped Scry. I let them direct the Scrying, glad when each of them picked out a particular place in the ocean. No idea how or where, not my job, and I'd trained enough back at the Academy to shut up and do my job, which at the moment was to Co-Locate myself to the far end of each of those Scrying portals, pop out an Air Shield box to stand on, then another to flatten a section of the ocean beneath me.

I Scried on the Tentacles, then pushed Mana into the Scrying portals from both directions until they expanded, the ships slipping through from their loose formation heading south from Boltophsberg to their assigned spots along the coast. That done, I collapsed back to the two of me atop the South Tower, both staring eastward.

In M-Space, the cries of my Kraken kept coming. Doing my best to match that sensory-image, I shouted back, get to the coast! Get to the Bay! Then, thinking about whatever was coming and my own likely response, not to mention the visual abilities of the Great Kraken, followed it with, run! Run deep! Hide! Do Not Fight!

The responses that came back were a mix of relief, disbelief, and maybe a little annoyance, like they were stunned that I thought they'd be that dumb.

Not long after I did that, both Tallulah and Madeline thought, clouds.

They both fed an image to the rest of us; right at the horizon, the clouds to the east of Madeline, to the southeast of Tallulah, bent in a vee shape pointed almost directly at Madeline's position, off shore of the southernmost extent of the Alliance.

Madeline, have the Captain weigh anchor, evacuate all non-essential crew to the Temple at Norfolk. Alert Olga.

Madeline didn't argue Saffron's order, just replied, yes, Imperator.

Shortly after, Saffron whispered to me, eight of you to the Black Dragon, please.

I didn't ask, just Co-Located eight of me to the mast of my Black Dragon. The number gave me an idea what she wanted, and all of me dropped to the deck and rushed to the boilers. As I suspected, there were uniformed Heroes there, who stepped aside and let me funnel Mana into my beautiful Battleship's boilers.

Shortly thereafter, Saffron announced, Black Dragon en route to your position, Madeline. Best possible ETA nineteen hundred hours. Everyone else, stay on station, stay on alert, this may be a distraction.

My ladies acknowledged that, although Tallulah's Sidhe eyes caught the edge of something just barely cresting the horizon. Trying to keep tabs on all my High Clergy, I caught the edges of Madeline briefly speaking with the Captain of the Plundering Tentacle, talking about anchors, shields, and Cold Iron.

Kitten? I whispered.

Yes, love?

Cold Iron? Portals? The fuck?

I got the sense of a warm grin from her. The amount on each Tentacle is negligible compared to the Black Dragon. Enough to collapse the Portal as they cross it, and I suspect the bolts, shields, and even the keel got a bit warm crossing, but that tiny amount wasn't enough to stop that much Mana.

Did... Did I just do a shell game with the fuckin' Laws of Physics.

Maybe. Now please let me concentrate. I'm trying to do three things at once. I took a moment to glance through her eyes. She stood that big building next to Drivers at Camden Yards, calling for Clergy to coordinate some kind of evacuation drill. She also stood in the Grand Council chamber, barking orders to runners and taking messages. Finally, two of her stood in the forecastle of the Worshiping Tentacle, one looking out at the ocean, the other controlling a Scry targeted on the ship itself, rotating and zooming the focus constantly. A few minutes later, she whispered to me, whatever this thing is, allow Madeline and the Plundering to engage it before you. Lest it, as noted, be some kind of trap or distraction.

Not real comfortable with letting someone else set off traps.

It could be a tarpit, to hold you while the real strike comes elsewhere.

Shit.

Agreed.

I got even less copacetic when, a few minutes later, after reading one of those notes in the Grand Council chambers, Saffron announced, Admiral Swanson regrets to inform us that the Black Dragon has hit some turbulence. Revising ETA to twenty one hundred hours.

I lost track of time as I watched for the approaching whatever through my Clergy's eyes. Through the eyes of my newest High Priestess, the one who only lived because I'd convinced her to. The one I knew wouldn't run even if she should. Eventually, in the light of the setting sun, I caught sight of something. Something I initially took for a wave, or some kind of a meteorological event.

Because when Madeline stepped to the crow's nest, all she could see over the fuckin' horizon was an amorphous head and shoulders.

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