Dear Diary,

"Chase down your euphoria, Fill your life with blissful joy, Life's purpose is Ecstasy." - Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Ecstasy

In this, the final Verse of the Book of Ecstasy, Tabitha closes the Book by making her position on Ecstasy clear, both with two Commandments and an outright statement regarding the purpose of our lives as devotees of Tabitha Diaz. That purpose, of course, is to fill life itself with as much Ecstasy as possible. To boldly seek out new and exciting joy, to explore all the euphoria life has to offer, in all its wondrous variety. To do that, she directs us to chase euphoria; unlike the Deities who seek to make a virtue of self-denial, of misery, or even of despair, she makes it clear that we are to fill our lives with joy. Though she does not say it here in this Verse, her earlier Verses make it clear that in all ways we should seek to share that bliss, that euphoria, that joy. To share our Ecstasy. - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

I'm really glad Saffron added that last bit in there. I spent two whole Verses, which is a not-insignificant percentage of the Book, talking about the potential downsides of sharing Ecstasy, of showing someone that their very existence brings joy. I didn't really make the point, at least I don't think I hammered it home as much as I could or should have, that sharing joy multiplies it, that a lot of the joy we find in life is found in other people.

Yeah, I've heard that old line about 'Hell is other people', but a lot of that comes from how we're forced to deal with people who we do not vibe with. That gets even worse when the reason we do not vibe is because the person is some kind of awful, whether it's the mildly irritating awful of being fugly or smelly or something physical like that, or the seriously irritating awful of being boring, or dumb in an obnoxious way, or worst of all is dealing with somebody who is openly... I guess I gotta lean on the word 'Evil', but just to be clear I'm using it as a combination of 'the only true Evil is lack of Empathy' and 'Evil starts when you treat people like things'.

That pretty much covers it for me, I think. I'm not absolutely sure enough to set shit in stone, because there might be some new and exciting form of Evil I haven't come across yet, but all the ones I've had the misfortune to encounter or observe have been, at root, one or both of those things. Which, when you've got to spend any amount of time with someone like that, and have to listen to them talking about how they're 'so smart' because they fuck people over by dealing in bad faith, it becomes harder and harder not to deal some bad faith right in their junk. Over and over and over again, maybe with some serious jaw, tooth, and tongue damage so they can't scream and whine about how they've never done anything 'violent'.

Yeah, look motherfucker, if you steal somebody's rent or food money, and they've got a kid, you've just put that kid on the street or starved them. I dunno from whether that's 'violent' or not, because when people talk about 'stop the violence' they're always talking about turning somebody's innards into outards. Now and then I'd hear some left wing dude talking about how rich people exploiting poor people is violence, and I'm not sure I agree with that, because words have to mean something, but I'm sure as shit in agreement that treating people like fungible assets is evil.

So yeah, Hell is other people only when those other people range from obnoxious to atrocious. If the other people are folks you vibe with, other people can be an absolute fucking joy to be around.

I'm really glad Saffron is writing the Commentary. Like I said the other day, I'm not sure if it'll hold up in a thousand years. Fuck, I'm not sure the Doctrine will hold up in a thousand years either. But if one or both of them are still around, and they're helping people find some joy in life, helping them be nicer to one another, helping make the world a better place, I'm gonna call it a win.

So yesterday at sunset Pyevatar rolled in through the door. Really kind of weird how I felt her arrival, and even weirder how sunset finished right as her ass hit Baba Yaga's other armchair. Like, not 'close to' but absolutely simultaneous. I glanced out the door right before it shut and saw V standing there looking kinda pissed at me. Like it had somehow been my fault that he wound up escorting Pyevatar here, not to mention getting here so late.

I mean, according to Baba Yaga, who had no reason to lie to me about it, it kinda was, but that's no reason for him to get pissy with me, right?

Okay, maybe I had to do something nice for that boy when things settled down. Then again, so far here in Boltophsberg I'd met a mother and son pair who both felt professionally pan, a straight Demigod, an Ace dude, and a painfully straight Goddess. The odds that he was into women seemed a bit of a toss up. Still, if he was into boys, I could do that too. Or if he was on Team Ivan and Conrad, maybe I could cook him something. Shit, I've totally got to do that for Conrad now. Possibly on his birthday, or maybe on his High Holy Day, which was coming up soon.

So if Ilmatar was a flighty debutante, Pyevatar was her very slutty sister. Okay, that's really not fair, judging somebody's sexual appetites and exclusivity by their figure and outfit. But holy shit, the curves. The full lips, the big hair that somehow wound up looking both gold and red at the same time without ever actually venturing anywhere near 'strawberry blonde'. Like, the gold was a deep, burnished gold, and the red was the red of old blood. Maybe auburn, but auburn always seemed to me like brunette that was trying too hard, and this shit wasn't trying hard at all. It was the real deal and knew it. The skimpy one piece swimsuit with the faintest sheen of sweat holding it to her, with a pair of weird baggy capris that hung from the curve of her hips. Yeah, she had a cloak over the outfit, a dark blue black one, and she pulled it around herself as she sat, but I'd gotten an eyeful I could not ignore or forget when she swooped in and planted her butt in that chair.

At that point she sat there, staring at me, emerald eyes flashing, as Baba Yaga poured her tea. "Be welcome in my humble abode, Pyevatar."

Bitch kept staring at me. Okay, glaring at me. I really didn't want to throw down with her here in Baba's tea room. Shit, I really didn't want to throw down with anybody, except maybe in the kind of half flirty half sparring way I'd done with Lemonkyenin. Shit, if he hadn't been a dick about things, I might have invited him back to the Bedroom. But no, it seemed like everybody here in Boltophsberg was permanently pissed off or something. Which, to be fair, given that everything I'd read about the place said that none of the Deities were sure they'd have a job after the revolution, and none of the Mortals knew whether or not they or their loved ones would be alive afterward, they had reason to be.

But Lemonkyenin and Ilmatar both thought I'd been tryna poach their Worshippers. I kinda wish I could get Lemmy and Danica on my Altar and just squeeze every bit of Worship out of her to drip all over him, maybe to make my point that sharing doesn't have to be awful, but that might take a little more trust than Lemmy had, not to mention a little more intestinal stability than I had to offer. Perfect face or not, the dude was just awful.

At any rate, I hadn't done jack shit to Pyevatar, but she just sat there glaring at me. After Baba's greeting seemed to fall on deaf ears, I reached out a hand and said, "Tabitha Diaz. Good to meet you!" in my best perky voice. Which had gotten considerably better since I'd found so much to be perky and happy about in life. I ignored how she jerked away when I reached a hand in her direction. Shit, I didn't even acknowledge how hot the woman was, because I thought that might be some kind of faux pas. Although that might explain Ilmatar's general pissiness. When your husband's other wife is fuckin' Jolene, unless she's also into you or ace as fuck, you're gonna wind up really pent up all the time.

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Then again, rumor had it that Lemmy hauled both their ashes on the regular, so I had no idea why either of them were pissed about shit, and I certainly didn't know why Pyevatar had beef with me personally. Although again, I had to remind myself they were all living in an imminent war zone.

She just stared at my hand like I'd wiped my crotch back to front before holding it out to her. Eventually a single word hissed out of her mouth. "You."

I kept up the smile, thinking happy thoughts the whole time. Isadora's little snores. Maze's now weekly story time with the women and kids. Siobhan's absolutely bottomless love of bottoming, and her joy in each and every interaction with any of us. Marie's sushi. Saffron's very not little mountains of joy. Shit, when I thought of those I realized Pyevatar here might be one of the few women I'd met who didn't seem underendowed after meeting Saffron.

But I kept up my smile and said, "yeah, me! Tabitha Diaz. Also, because I'm tryna be more open about this and Baba already knows and still lets me have cookies, Mimic."

For the barest fraction of a second the Goddess glaring at me froze, until the sheer heat of her anger melted through her fear, burned it away. "That explains how. But why?"

I shook my head, keeping my hand out and my smile plastered on. "Why what?"

"You know what you've done!"

I shook my head, keeping my smile friendly and my hand open and extended. "Yeah, you might be wrong about that. Seriously, not tryna evade responsibility or consequences, but my memory is kinda shit. Hell, I've even had a Sidhe Blessing, some potent Fae magic, fuck around with my head, specifically my memories. So if I did something to hurt you, something you didn't deserve, I'm really sorry, and I'll try to make it up to you, but really, honestly, and truly, I have zero idea what you're talking about."

Didn't fuckin' matter. Pyevatar had the look of someone who'd shown up ready to throw down. Shit, she looked like she expected to defend herself, and just wanted me to get the charade over with and take the first swing. She glared at me for another timeless moment, until the anger in her face seemed to flow down to her mouth.

She opened it looking ready to spit fire, but Baba interrupted her. "Where's your silver, girl?"

Without taking her eyes off of me, Pyevatar spat out, "I didn't want it stolen."

I pulled my hand back, spreading it across my chest. "Ouch. Like, really ouch. That hurts. That hurts a lot, especially what with me not stealing anything except hearts and supposed virtue for, like, well over a year at this point." I couldn't help it. I tried, but the next bit just kinda slipped out. "I mean, you brought both of those, which means if you're looking to get them stolen...?"

Oh, she did not like that. She hissed like a cat and snarled, "what do you take me for?"

I shrugged, sighed, and admitted, "one of the hottest women I've seen in my life, which has included a surprisingly large number of hot men and women alike. Not that I've taken you yet." Again, the words just kinda slipped out, my rizz regulation totally nonfunctional. "Trust me, if I take you, you'll know."

"You lay hands on me, manhandle me, time and time and time again, order me about like some street tramp, and now you dare to insinuate that I'd lay not just with a woman, but with you?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Hey, look, if you're not into women," I slipped into boy mode, "I can accommodate that. But, uh, when the fuck did I lay hands on you? Shit, I can't remember doing so, and that's just a crime against girl kissers everywhere." I didn't know why, but some deep dark part of me totally felt kind of like I had with Siobhan before our date, but after she'd made it clear she was aching for the successful consummation of said date. Completion of said date, I meant. Okay, consummation was probably more accurate.

Mimic thought this woman was mine, and wondered why I was fuckin' around and not just taking her on the table.

I pulled my tentacles all the way back and sat on them, then shook my head. "No, seriously, Pyevatar. When did I lay hands on you?"

"When haven't you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just now? I mean, I'm not laying hands on you now. Which speaks to how gorgeous you are, because the personality? Almost entirely a turn off."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, I get off on challenges, I think. Fuck, did not mean to say that out loud. Um, will you give me a date? I mean, tell me the date of an occasion I manhandled you? Like, was it in one of my bigger battles?"

"Yes." She spat the single word like an accusation.

I nodded. "Okay, were you, like, in disguise as one of the people I was fighting? Because that would have to be one hell of a disguise, let me tell you."

This whole time, since interrupting what I suspected had been Pyevatar's intent to assault me, Baba had just sat there, grinning, like she totally knew what was going on and it amused the fuck out of her. Which, to be fair, I didn't mind. Baba was cool, and kinda scary in the same way Conrad could be, so keeping her happy seemed like a good idea. This time, though, she reached out and tapped Pyevatar's teacup. "Don't let this get cold."

Pyevatar scowled, reached out and picked up the cup. I swear the moment she raised it to her lips it started boiling, but she just drank it down, glaring at me over the rim of the cup the whole time. When she set it down, the boiling stopped, which screwed with my head a little as I realized that this woman was, quite literally, the hottest thing in the room. "No. I was not one of those..." She shuddered. "Things."

That got to me. I slipped both hands down into my lap, lacing my fingers together, because hot or not, I didn't think Little Miss Pye had enough going on to do serious injury to me before I could unlace them. Also, my ass was already pinning my tentacles from throttling the woman. "Mortals ain't things, mate."

"I. Am. Not. Your. Mate."

I nodded and slipped out of boy mode. "That much is clear. But I meant it like 'friend', or 'companion', or maybe 'drinking buddy', or maybe even 'conversational partner I don't want to splatter all over the walls because that would be rude to Baba and she's way too much of a cool old Auntie Boss Bitch to be rude to."

"Yet you call her a bitch."

I shrugged. "I call a lot of people bitch. The ones I do it to most often are ones who call me the same, and if there's any love lost we go find it and squish it between us when we're sharing body fluids and orgasms."

"So crude."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm crude. I'm rude, although that's generally accidental, unless it escalates to 'mind bogglingly violent', in which case some asshole desperately deserved it." I shook my head, blew out some air, and said, "which, if you weren't cosplaying as one of my targets in battle, what battle did I wind up manhandling you?"

She paused, the look on her face one I remembered from talking with folks who weren't speaking in their first language, or were trying to remember holidays from another religion. After a moment the venom returned to her gaze and she spat out, "the Battle of the Bay."

I blinked. "The fuck?" I sat there, staring at her, while she just looked at me. "I... the only things I fought that day were Hole Spawn and that fuckin' Undead Dragon."

"I'm. Aware." She glared for a bit, then took the career limiting move of interrupting Baba as she started to speak. "We didn't fight. You just manhandled me. Whistled for me like a dog, and yanked me into the sky when I didn't come quickly enough for you."

Yeah, Lemmy was pretty, the prettiest I'd seen here and now, but Pye was hot as fuck. And right then and there I realized why that wasn't even a fuckin' metaphor. "You're a sun Goddess."

She rolled her eyes. "You say that like you did not know."

"Hello? Because I didn't? Not until just now?" Her jaw dropped. "No, seriously. I hadn't even thought about how many sun Deities there are. Honestly, I've been sorta worried about when my brother Elatha is gonna show up, but I hadn't even thought about any of the others."

We sat there staring at one another until Baba absolutely lost it, cackling her damn ass off. "You're going to go blind if you keep doing that."

Without looking away from Pye, I snarked back, "nah, that's a myth. Also, that's guys. Also, also, I'm not actually doing that. Right now. I make no promises about later in my bunk."

Barely able to keep her words coherent through her cacophonous cackling, Baba wheezed out, "I meant staring at the sun."

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