Horny Eyes was still a live wire in my skull. Vision was pink-filtered and morally ambiguous, like reality had been put on a Tinder boost and forgot what shame means.

I didn't want to ID my food. Some truths are like expired milk — better unseen. So I decided ignorance was a flavor and ordered three helpings. Eat first, maybe cry later. But I wasn't savage enough to gnaw raw meat like a demonic raccoon on a budget — I needed fire. Civilization's little miracle and my only shield against accidentally inventing a new type of tetanus.

Therefore, I went to the basics.

I placed the dead creature on the ground and felt around for some stones.

With Horny Eyes, even rocks looked like they were trying to flirt with me — pebbles with agendas. Still, I found two decent ones and began clacking them like a primitive drummer who'd lost his mind.

I know that fire could attract some beings, but I don't give a fuck at the moment.

First, fire will be produced, I will cook my hunt to the edible point and then I will extinguish the fire and go to finish my other quest.

I clashed both of them with each other and sparks flew off. I know it because I got burnt a few times.

But only the sparks came, no fire took place.

So I gathered some dry leaves around and then struck the stones above them.

After a minute, the sparks fell on the leaves and I felt the heat.

The fire was on.

I wasted no time and showed my hunt to the fire.

I made sure not to burn my own hands and I had no idea if it was ready to be eaten or not.

I was glad Gordon Ramsey wasn't here as if he had seen me making some kind of mistake here, he would have molested me inside a microwave.

Anyway, I didn't have it all day so I only waited for seven or eight minutes and took the first bite.

It was hot, slightly burnt, but it was tasty.

Of course, it is not anywhere near the level of the food I was eating at my castle, but it is what it is.

I ate whatever I could from my hunt and threw the leftovers away.

I extinguished the fire as well and without waiting for anything, I turned around.

Horny Eyes were still on and it was time for the death of a guard.

I have finished the training for today and only after my allies hunt food, will I get a Skill for today.

I can see them coming out of the back door of the house, well, I can't see them as I only saw skeletons but I am sure they are coming out of the backdoor of the house. The same door from where I came out to hunt.

They were also coming towards the forest and I let them be.

My job was something else now.

I slowly made my way out of the forest and since I could see through things, I focused on seeing through the house I was staying at.

I looked at the other side of the house and I saw five Skeletons.

They didn't belong to Humans as they were thick, deranged.

They were definitely Malthus' guards.

I only needed to kill one of them to get a Skill.

Alright.

Okay, Racis, think. I had two skills: Open-any-door (great for break-ins, terrible for intimacy) and See-through-things (Horny Eyes). Combined, they were less "instant-kill" and more "weird life-hack." How does one kill a drunk guard using the ability to see through curtains and file cabinets?

I kept an eye on the guards from the other side of the house and that's when I saw their hands moving.

They had some kind of bottle in their hands and they were putting it on their lips.

They were drinking.

Is it water? But it's night. And I remember Johnson, the chief guard of the tenth level of the prison, said they didn't need water that much. Johnson was a soldier of Malthus and these people were the same.

So if it wasn't water then there was only one thing they were drinking.

Alcohol… Or Malthus' bath water.

Alcohol had the most probability and looking at Malthus, I am sure he doesn't take a bath so his bath water is out of the question.

Anyway, they were drinking alcohol so it meant one thing.

[ Yes. You are getting it. If they are drinking alcohol then it means… ]

'I know right? If they are drinking alcohol then it means…'

[ They will be easy to fight. ]

'This world finally has alcohol!'

[ You fucker! Why do you always something entirely different? ]

'Habit. As a comedian, you have to masturbate out of the box.'

[ Masturbate out of the box? Don't you mean think out of the box? ]

'Yeah. But I thought out of the box that's why I said masturbate out of the box. You won't get it.'

[ I am glad I didn't. ]

'Anyway, let me focus now. I wish Jack was here.'

I would have asked him to use his skill and blind one of the guards. But Jack refused to help me until he saw his body in perfect condition. Also, the quest had said I have to kill a guard all by myself. So I don't think Jack's help would have helped me.

Therefore, it meant I have to kill a guard alone and like the system said, the guard will be easy to fight with since he was drunk and all.

But how should I kill him? I have no weapons and I am not experienced in killing anyone as well.

Nevertheless, I have to try. My eyes were tearing up due to the constant use of Horny Eyes but I will hold on.

I tiptoed to the front, pressed my back to the wall like a stealth expert who'd learned everything from bad movies. Three guards sat on the steps of Sexis' mom's house's front (small-town porn industry vibes; this place had layers of awful). I only needed one casualty.

I reached closer and now if I turned to my right, I would see the guards.

I raced my mind to think of something to use and before smoke could come out of my head, fate performed a minor miracle…

TRIILL!

A glass bottle came rolling at my feet.

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