Vera's eyes were wide as she finally looked down at him. She could see the utter shock that was in his eyes now as they both came down from their earth-shattering high.
Their eyes held each other's, their breaths still loud in their ears. Their staring contest continued until Vera gave in and averted her gaze and looked down. "I… I'm sorry, I… it was… I was…" her small hands that were placed on top of his hard abdomen clenched hard, trembling a little. "I didn't… do it on –"
Suddenly, he yanked her against him and hugged her tight. "I know, Red…" he whispered reassuringly, and she could tell he had struggled to speak. "It's not your fault."
She felt him let out a couple of shaky breaths, but his body was still trembling. It was obvious to her that his trembling was due to fear, and she also had the feeling that he was hugging her like this to hide his expression from her.
It made her heart clench in pain that he was trembling like this.
"I'm sorry…" she could not help but cry. He already had so much baggage, so much it was torture for even her who was only watching and not actually knowing what he could possibly be going through. She had wanted to be with him this entire night and to show him how much she loved him. She had wanted this night as an opportunity for her to love this man with all she had. She did not want to cause anything that would make him suffer internally anymore. But she messed up… and now here he was, shaking in fear. She did not want to give him any more reason to hate himself.
"Hush… I said it's not your fault. I'm fine…" he said, taking a deep breath again. "I'm just…" he ground his teeth and hugged her tighter.
He was scared. Scared to death for her now. He felt like he had just cursed this sweet girl to her impending doom. And his body could not stop shaking no matter how he tried to stop it, to hide it from her.
He felt her delicate hands caressing him gently, trying her very best to soothe him, to pacify his rampant emotions. And Gideon shut his eyes closed. Her caresses… he loved it so much he did not want them to stop… they were like warm beams of light reaching out to him who was always trapped in the cold and pitch-black darkness. He had thought… he was never going to see any redeeming light ever again until that fated day come. However, even from the first time he had seen her, he knew that he must not reach out and touch her. He had told himself very severely that she was totally off limits. Because… because that would surely kill her.
In fact, Gideon had already known the whole truth of his mother's death. Sarion was not the one who killed her. He, the chosen son of darkness, was the one who had killed his very own flesh and blood mother. He was just conceived too powerful for her, and he had eaten away at her life slowly as he grew inside her. And the moment he was birthed, that effort that she had expanded to push him out proved just be too much for her already frail and overexerted body. It was after she got a last look at her son before taking her last breath and died. No amount of magic had managed to revive and save her. Sarion had done everything that could be done to bring her back to life again, but he had obviously failed, and her death broke the very last string of sanity in Sarion and that caused him to fall into total and irredeemable madness.
Now he had gone and done it too. He had lost his mind and allowed his desire to win over him. He had reached out and touched her despite all the warnings, despite his own revere reminders to himself, despite knowing she would die because of him. He was truly a monster, was he not?
He laughed sardonically in his mind, but his hands gripped her harder and before he knew it, he was breaking down in tears. His head lowered and rested on her shoulder. How… how could he have done this to her? To this sweet, sweet angel? This pure and innocent person who only wanted to stay with him no matter how much he push her away. At this point, he felt as though he had taken advantage of her.
Vera pushed herself off him, but he did not let go. Her heart was constantly breaking apart the longer she looked at the man that she loved, seeing him crying so heartbrokenly. The way his shoulders trembled, the wet liquid flowing onto her shoulder… he was crying so bad. This man… this strong and powerful prince of the dark faes, he was crying… and it was all her fault.
"No, please don't cry…" there was panic in Vera's choked voice. And tears quickly pooled up and began falling from her eyes as well. "Please… I'm so sorry…" she began to shake as well, crying along with him. "I'm so very sorry –"
He pulled away and kissed her mouth as if to stop the words tumbling out from it. When their lips parted, she finally saw his face. That handsome face, which was able to seduce and ensnare women in a heartbeat, looked so wretched that her heart ached terribly looking at him.
Vera quickly held his face and kissed his tears. "It's okay… don't worry, I heard my family has a history where it's very hard for women to conceive. My mother… even though she's slept with many men, she didn't manage to get pregnant. Therefore, there's a very high possibility that I'm like my mother too." She told him with a slightly sad tone, having to say something like this in comparing herself to her promiscuous mother. However, she was desperate to make him feel better. So, there was nothing she would not tell him, even if it were things that would hurt her and make her heart bleed.
MERRY CHRISTMAS SPELLBOUNDERS!! ♡♡
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