Chapter 959. Crank UP 7

Whenever his feet lifted off the ground, the words that director Park said reverberated in his mind: how much of the human nature of the person known as Han Maru do you think was in that character? As the character contained his subjective interpretations, he thought that a lot of his subjective elements would be reflected in the character, but from the director’s words, that didn’t necessarily seem to be the case. It was quite plausible when he thought about the way he acted. He dug into the depths of the depths and created a structure without any gaps. The method of constructing a character might contain the preferences of Han Maru, but the finished character seemed to have little traces of the builder.

Like what director Park said, it wasn’t a bad thing. He just wanted another facet. Maru thought about the masked man. That man went about acting in a completely different form from his. He didn’t take a step away from the character to compile the form of the character, and instead would throw in his entire soul and integrate with the character itself. It was an extreme form of method acting. When Maru let the masked man take over his body when acting, he could feel the emotions of the character itself after the acting was over and thus would need time to readjust. In contrast, if he stuck to his original acting method, he could perfectly extricate himself from the character at the call of the cut signal.

Director Park walked to the dog shed, saying that he should take his time. Maru stopped walking and softly called out to ‘him.’

“You aren’t sleeping, are you?”

He waited for a bit after calling. By the time he felt that the damp smell of the mountain had gotten thicker, the masked man responded,

-You know that you need to pay a bonus to have someone work late at night, right?

“I think it’s okay since we’re legally considered the same entity.”

-Let’s say that. We’re both Han Maru after all.

“You heard what director Park said, right?”

-I did. I can see that he’s a very exceptional analytic from how he points out the crucial points.

“Are you still unable to interfere with me?”

-To tell you the truth, it’s becoming hard to even talk to you like this. The great ones above us do not seem to like this special case. The subject that must be running in circles in the hamster wheel that is their laws has stopped the wheel to reflect on itself.

“How strict. A creature is desperately struggling for survival, so they should be merciful.”

-Perhaps even they are over-exhausted from work. Looking at the results alone, something outside their expectations had occurred, but they did not take immediate action. Perhaps even gods are like public workers.

“That’s fortunate for me since it means that they aren’t almighty.”

-Who knows? Even this kind of occurrence that lies outside their laws is within their standards. It might be something simple that they could solve with a flick of a finger.

“If you conclude like that, then I can’t do anything. That would mean that even this conversation we’re having right now is within their plans. Once I realize that it is meaningless to struggle to escape from these fetters, I should just hang myself, hoping that I would choose a better job in the next life.”

-I do not like to assert anything definitively, but I can bet my head that you will never give up on life.

“Your head is my head though.”

The wind seemed to become colder as something akin to dust started falling from the sky. A snowflake fell down gently on his hoodie before melting away.

“I was going to ask you for help, but I guess it’s not happening.”

-If it’s about acting, you shouldn’t need my help.

“It’s because this is a completely different method from mine. I have to throw myself into the character like the time I played the young killer, but this is your expertise. I’m not used to things like that.”

-It’s a simple problem really. People do not go on adventures if they have something they can rely on. How many people do you think would be willing to put in effort when they could pick sweet fruits without hard work? You just haven’t done so because you didn’t find it necessary. If you find it necessary, you’ll acquire that skill and display it faster than anyone else.

“And what’s your basis for that?”

-Do I need to mention it?

Maru smiled and shook his head. The basis was right in front of him. It was something that his ‘another self’ that he was talking to had already done.

“But if you think about it, you’ve polished that method of yours while observing dozens of lives. We may both be Han Marus, but the depths of our experiences are different. I’m in a position where I’m starting off with nothing.”

-So you’re going to tell director Park Joongjin that you can’t do it?

“I can’t do that.”

-As long as you are determined to do so, you will be able to do it, just as all the Han Marus before you once did. They may have lived different lives, but the Han Marus that dedicated their lives to acting had never slipped.

“Sounds like all the other careers ended up bad.”

-Didn’t you already see it in a dream? You saw salaryman Han Maru dying of overwork and estate agent Han Maru dying of heart failure while living homeless. There’s also the Han Maru that tried to whistle-blow and became a bus driver.

“If my life doesn’t end here and begins again, then please, whisper to him to become an actor again.”

-I’ll shout in his ears for sure, that he’ll be in for a lot of suffering if he does not become an actor. The best-case scenario would be me not having to do something like that, though. It will be to be thrown out of this endless track of life.

“I guess that’s your dearest wish.”

-It’s ironic, really. I’ve been living all of these lives, but I ultimately end up wishing for death. Though, I’m sure the current you wish to live on.

“I don’t know what to say, I mean, I can’t really cheer you on when you say you want to die, yet to tell you to keep living on feels like I’m cursing you.”

-I’m sure something will work out. It might not, though. Hey, tomorrow’s Christmas, eh? It looks like it’ll be a White Christmas just as director Park said.

“And I’ll be shooting while fighting against the cold on a mountain covered in white snow.”

-You must want to spend time with Miss Gaeul. You must be disappointed.

“I can’t help it if I want to put food on the table. I’m living an eternity in a strange manner, but if I don’t put food in my mouth, it’ll all come to an abrupt curtain call. Also, going somewhere with Gaeul is good and all, but she couldn’t even rest due to her schedule, so she should get some rest at a time like this. Gaeul should be at home. I wonder what miss rabbit is doing?”

-I don’t know either. She might be lying dormant inside Miss Gaeul, or she may have gone off somewhere. It became harder to meet her ever since the two of you reunited.

“That doesn’t seem like a good omen to me.”

-Perhaps there might not be long left until you and I can no longer talk to each other.

“That means that something might also be coming to an end.”

-And the beginning of something too.

“I should run so that I don’t end up back in that hamster wheel again. I finally grabbed a clue, so I can’t let it come to naught.”

-Now that’s what scares me the most.

He calmed his breath down and started running on the spot. If his body became stiff due to the cold, even his acting skills would be affected.

“I thought about this when I listened to director Park, that there might be others in a similar situation as us, right?”

-Most likely. I can’t say that all living humans experience something as peculiar as this, but if it can happen to some extremely ordinary person like us, then there might be quite many people in a cycle of repeated reincarnation into the same life. The difference is that they might think that it’s their first reincarnation until their very death. They will repeatedly live their first reincarnation for all eternity.

“Don’t you think that there is a chance that the people who reincarnate might influence others in the same situation just like how two different conveyor belts in a factory might end up influencing another?”

-I wouldn’t know. Not that I could tell you about it even if I did.

Maru rubbed his eyebrows. Director Park talked about Jung Haejoo in passing. He said that she possessed experience like she had lived a different life from others. Did that actress, who displayed exceptional skill, just possess good acting skill? Or did she compile that experience through special happenings? Perhaps thanks to the fact that he was living in the very middle of a miracle caused by god, he couldn’t take that lightly. The absurd traffic accident that happened to a genius actress. Just what lay beneath the surface of the woman who had to finish her life before her talent was known to the world?

“Did any of the Han Marus you saw end their own lives?”

-No, not a single time. Prior to the age of forty-five, you died through many different forms of accident, but you have never given up on your own life out of your own volition. The same goes for me.

“Hey. This just came to me, but there are a lot of geniuses who are short-lived, right? And among them, the ratio of suicide is pretty high.”

It was a possibility that came across his mind as the fish of thought swam through the sea of thinking. If there were other people who experienced near infinite lives of reincarnation, and they also received the petty grace of god and displayed exceptional talent in one field….

“Mr. Maru. I think we should start.”

It was the vice director. She was shouting while putting a heat pack against her cheek. Maru raised his hand, saying that he would be there soon. As he never actually formed a question, the masked man did not answer. Maru did not force it either. While he was curious, he didn’t want to listen to it.

“Let’s talk again sometime.”

-If you do not hear my voice even after calling out to me dearly, then just think of me as having gone on a journey.

“Now that makes me feel uneasy.”

-I feel uneasy too. This time, it has to be different, but if the same thing repeats again this time, I’ll end up giving up. I’ll be endlessly watching the autobiographical film in a world where time does not move, dearly wishing for death or an ending.

“Let us both do our best. It’d be great if we could talk to the rabbit that pulled the trigger of reincarnation, but that will be difficult, right?”

-Probably.

Maru nodded. It was about time he went back to the shoot. Just as he was about to move after saying goodbye, the masked man asked in a soft voice,

-Hey, can you still look into the hearts of people through their eyes these days?

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