Chapter 3392: Distorted Lens (Part 1)
"Trion is right, Lith." Raaz nodded. "Don’t get me wrong, you were polite and sweet if one looked at you as an adult. But for a kid, you looked like someone who sucked lemons as a hobby."
"Really?" Aran chuckled at the idea, incapable of reconciling such an image with the big brother he loved and respected.
"Really." Raaz replied. "You should have seen your brother’s scowl. Unless he was looking at Rena or Tista, his smile was just a grin below cold yes filled with deep thoughts."
Those words made Lith swallow hard.
"At first, we didn’t worry much because all babies look serious or happy for no reason. Their expression is just their instinctive reaction to the world and people around them." Raaz continued. "But as you grew up, Lith, things didn’t change.
"Then, your mother and I thought it was because of the lack of food that made you always hungry so we tightened our belts and gave you bigger servings." Lith swallowed again. "Yet aside from warming up to your mother, your glare remained the same.
"Even after you started hunting and food was no longer an issue, you still looked at me, Trion, and Meln like guests who had long overstayed their welcome." Raaz sighed, stopping in place.
"I honestly thought it was because you despised your brothers for their behavior and me for failing to educate them properly. I knew how bad things between you three were and how disappointed in me you must have been."
"You worked so hard for all of us yet you weren’t safe in your own home."
"Dad, it’s not-" Lith tried to say but Raaz cut him short with a wave of his hand.
"It’s true and you know it."
"Really?" Aran looked at Trion in suspicion.
"Yes." Trion nodded. "Meln and I were terrible to Lith. We envied him and his magic. We were the only ones not taking hot baths during winter because we were too prideful to ask for his help. We demanded it."
"That’s’-" Aran had many unflattering things to say, but the deep shame on his brother’s face and the sadness in his father’s eyes stopped his tongue.
"Horrible. Petty. Disgraceful." Trion completed the phrase for Aran. "And I could go on. I’m not proud of what I did or who I was, little brother, but now I have the guts to admit it and make amends for it.
"I’m not that man anymore. Please, believe me."
"I believe you." Aran grabbed Trion’s hand. "Bad guys always blame others and make excuses for their behavior. Only good guys are brave enough to admit when they are wrong and do something about it."
"Thanks, little brother." Small puffs of fire escaped the Demon’s eyes, instantly turning into black smoke.
"What happened then, Dad?" Aran wanted to change the topic to spare Trion’s feelings and also because he was burning with curiosity.
Many events before his birth were considered taboo and no one ever spoke about them. Especially if Orpal was involved.
"Then I finally found the strength to kick your oldest brother out." Raaz’s eyes steeled at the memory of the beaten and battered Lith. "I never understood what went wrong with him and have stopped caring.
"All the bad things you’ve heard about the Dead King are true, Aran, and the fact he once was part of our family is our greatest shame."
Raaz signalled Onyx to resume the advance and the group followed.
"Yet even with him gone and Trion turning over a new leaf, Lith was always unhappy. At that point, we thought it was because we were poor, but after he became a Healer under Nana’s guidance money wasn’t a problem.
"So your mother and I believed it was because of how hard Lith had to work but that didn’t change even after he joined the academy or the army. At that point, we gave up understanding what was wrong and prepared for the worst.
"Your mother was terrified you might leave the family, Lith, but I wasn’t. Heck, after the Balkor thing, you warmed up even to me. That was a good sign if I’ve ever seen one." Raaz said with a laughter.
’Fuck me sideways, they knew all along.’ Lith thought. ’My past behavior must have hurt Dad yet he never showed it. I would love to tell him that it wasn’t his fault if I looked at him through the eyes of Derek McCoy.
’That it took me believing to have lost Protector to finally drop my guard and realize how much I was missing out of sheer stubbornness. Yet I can’t risk destroying my family just to clear my conscience. This is my burden to bear.’
"After a while, we took you as the mystery you were and hoped for the best. I don’t know the reason, but you started to change around the time Solus got her light body after you met Kamila." Raaz continued.
"Yet it’s only after Elysia was born that determination replaced the silent rage in your eyes. Many among my friends think your perpetual frown is always the same, but you can’t fool your old man."
"You’re right, Dad. About everything." Lith said. "I’ve found the strength to change because I want to pass down on my children only the best of me. The bad parts are my problem and no one else should have to deal with them."
Raaz hoped that Lith would explain why he had disliked his father for so long. Yet Lith remained silent and Raaz respected it.
"A noble intent." Raaz said after a while. "But listen to your old man. Let your children see your bad side from time to time. Show them you are human. Show them you are not some paragon of virtue they can never match.
"Make them look up to you but also let them know you are just like them, flaws and all. Men are imperfect and can only strive for perfection, never reach it. If your children can’t reach you, they can’t love you, only admire you from a distance."
A deep silence fell over the group while Lith pondered over those words.
"Since when is Lith perfect?" Yet Arand didn’t make it last long. "There’s the stinginess, all the times he disappears making Mom worry, the door in his bedroom Sis Kami forbid me to open yet I did-"
"Aran!" Lith cut him short.
"Don’t worry, big bro. I love your weird clothes and all." Aran hugged Lith who inwardly prayed no one would ask questions. "I’m sure that it will be the same for Elysia and the new baby."
"That said, have you thought about the name?" Raaz cleared his throat.
"Not yet." Lith gave a grateful nod to his father. "I’m open to suggestions."
***
Meanwhile, back in Jambel, Mirias was giving Solus a tour of the city.
The Baroness wasn’t used to walking, much less to wearing civilian clothes, but carriages, DoLoreans, and Warp Steps drew too much attention and her guests enjoyed their anonymity.
"The taxes from Lith’s silver mines alone contributed a lot to Jambel’s development in the last few years." Mirias said while showing Kamila and Solus the various innovations. "It’s a different city from your last visit, Countess Verhen."
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