Chapter 511 – Offline Battle

At 4 in the afternoon, I brought the cross dressing Shu Zhe out to meet up with Xiao Ding.

Since he now has experience from walking at night in women’s clothing and I was by his side, Shu Zhe was much more fearless than usual. Perhaps talking to Cilantro Buns through video chat has also increased his confidence.

He walked next to me while being slightly behind me. The passing men and women cast thirsty or envious looks and it made Shu Zhe elated.

The most unbearable part was that many men also sent me looks of admiration, they must think that I’m Shu Zhe’s boyfriend.

Shu Zhe took in all of those looks and became even more proud and arrogant.

What is there to be proud of? Your breasts are fake! Dressing in women’s clothing attract more attention and it’s a great way for a super vain like yourself to inflate your self worth.

In order to avoid anyone recognizing me or causing unnecessary trouble, I put on a pair of sunglasses before I left. So the passing men are just jealous that I have a beautiful girlfriend and didn’t really give looks like they just saw beauty and the beast.

Shu Zhe originally carried a more neutral satchel to put his daily supplies, but when we passed a bag store, he suddenly said he wanted to buy a more appropriate satchel for his current look, and he walked into the store without saying another word.

After entering the store, Shu Zhe had a natural and smooth conversation with the female sales associate. He left me standing foolishly to the side waiting to pay the bill as if I was actually his real boyfriend.

After spending more than ¥400 on a bag, Shu Zhe transferred his stuff over and happily put on his new bag. He then gave me the old bag to be put away.

“You’re taking advantage of the situation.” I said angrily after we left the store “I only promised to reimburse you for your outfit. I never said I would buy you a bag again.”

Shu Zhe gently lifted up a lock of his long hair and said with disdain: “A bag is part of a girl’s outfit.”

Of course, Shu Zhe’s spoke with his “fake girl voice”. Ever since he started speaking with the sales associate, he has been using a gentle feminine voice to speak. He didn’t arouse any suspicions, even when I knew the truth, I can’t help but admit Shu Zhe was nearly unparalleled in pretending to be a girl.

“Anyway, there’s no such thing as a good business. Since you were the one who introduced me to Xiao Ding as a temporary girlfriend, you must have gotten a lot of benefits too.”

Shu Zhe conjectured while full of malice.

“I never got anything.” I denied, “Why can’t you believe that there are ‘friends’ who don’t only try and see what benefits they can get from the relationship.”

“Because I don’t have that kind of friend.” Shu Zhe replied bluntly, “Some of them are my ‘friends’ because I’m generous or that I have a beautiful sister. The ones who used to be jealous of me and bad-mouthed me behind my back came begging like dogs for me to be their friend after they heard you were protecting me. Although I despise them, I still allow them to be my friends. There’s no harm in it and friends are meant to be used anyway, who knows when they will come in handy one day.”

Hmph, he might look like a sweet girl on the outside, but he’s still as selfish as ever on the inside.

We met Xiao Ding in front of Xinhua bookstore and he was stunned once he saw Shu Zhe.

“Uh… Xiao Ye, you better not be playing with me.” Xiao Ding pulled me over and whispered into my ear, “She’s clearly a beautiful girl, why are you saying she’s a man?”

“Okay.” I nodded, “It’s fine if you want to treat him as a girl, does he meet your requirements?”

“His appearance is first-class, but her voice…”

After careful consideration, Xiao Ding felt there was no reason for me to bring a girl then insist she a boy, but he was still a bit concerned about the voice.

Shu Zhe looked at the slightly chubby Xiao Ding with contempt, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and spoke:

“Cut the crap, give me my money first. Who knows if you’ll stiff me like brother Ye Lin.”

The “fake girl voice” made Xiao Ding faint a bit when he heard, it was clear he thought it was really cute. He pulled out his wallet without saying a word, then gave all the extra money he earned pretending to be a tiger to Shu Zhe.

Shu Zhe took the money and checked the watermark against sun out of habit, then carefully placed it inside his new bag.

The people who came in and out of Xinhua bookstore were suspicious when they saw two men making a payment to a woman in the streets. Some people whispered and suspected we were carrying out an illegal transaction.

To be honest, I really did look like a pimp standing in the middle of the transaction while wearing sunglasses. Fortunately, we didn’t run into the police or tomorrows headline in the newspapers would be “Middle school student prostitutes cross dresser”.

“Say, are you really Shu Sha’s brother, Shu Zhe?”

Xiao Ding asked an unbelievable question.

A disgusted expression instantly appeared on Shu Zhe’s face when he heard his name.

“Don’t call me by my real name, what if we get found out? From now on, call me by my pseudonym, Xiao Hong.”

So he was still using the name that was derived from Southland Red Berries? I guess he was accustomed to it after constantly being called that by Cilantro Buns on video chats.

“When does the otaku gathering end?”

Shu Zhe played the role of a barbaric girlfriend in front of Xiao Ding.

“About 8 o’clock, I think…” Xiao Ding wasn’t short, but when he talked with “Xiao Hong”, he would always lower his head and blush, appearing much weaker.

But it’s already considered good compared to his usual. When Xiao Ding saw a beautiful girls, he couldn’t even say a word, so a cross dresser was the best option for a temporary girlfriend.

“Then, brother Ye Lin, come here at 7:40 to pick me up. Don’t be late, got it?”

Eh, it looks like Shu Zhe really plucked up some courage to speak to me like that.

“Brother Ye Lin, can you not put on a scowl?”

“I have to leave my outfit and my new bag at your place before I can go home, otherwise my sister might find out and then you… and you….”

He pointed at me and Xiao Ding, “You would both be out of luck.”

I have to admit Shu Zhe had a point. Plus, Xiao Ding, who was going to receive Shu Zhe’s help, could only nod and didn’t dare disobey.

The Xinhua Bookstore was only two stops away from the cafe. Xiao Ding suggested to walk over so they could get their stories straight and not get exposed at dinner.

Shu Zhe, however, complained that his feet hurt from walking in new shoes and asked Xiao Ding to take a cab. Xiao Ding hesitated for a second, so Shu Zhe wrapped one of his arms around one of Xiao Ding’s arms and pouted.

“I want to take a cab~~~”

Xiao Ding’s face suddenly turned red and steam erupted from his head like he was drunk. He beckoned a cab while staggering and then the two of them rode it away together.

Before entering the cab, Shu Zhe gestured me with his eyes as if to say, “Look how stupid men are, all I have to do is use a little charm and they are at my beck and call.”

Remember that you’re also a man before you say such things.

I watched the cab drive away, then I returned home bored. Other than running the online store, I was still a little worried that Shu Zhe and Xiao Ding would mess things up.

I went to Xinhua bookstore at 8pm to pick him up (I deliberately didn’t t go at 7:40). He arrived nearly half an hour late and looked completely out of it. I asked him what happened, but he would not say.

After changing, he reluctantly left his women’s clothes behind at my house and went back home.

It was strange, usually he would ask me money for a cab home. Plus, I only paid for the new bag, he still hasn’t asked for reimbursements for the rest of the outfit which wasn’t like him.

Is it possible Xiao Ding couldn’t control his lust and raped him? But Xiao Din wasn’t that kind of person and Shu Zhe’s clothes weren’t damaged, so what was going on?

I called Xiao Ding several times that night, but he didn’t answer. Fortunately, he was there when I went to look for him at the pet hospital the next day. He said he would treat me to a meal while telling me what happened last night.

I noticed that the corners of Xiao Ding’s eyes were bruised. He also had cuts over his arms like he was beaten.

Did he meet violent resistance when he tried to lay his hands on Shu Zhe? If that was the case, Shu Zhe would have asked for a psychological damage fee, why was he silent?

Xiao Ding ate the shredded potatoes with rolled spring pancakes while looking out the window, then he sighed and said:

“Actually, last night, I got into a fight with the leader of the LOL faction, the guy whose id is ‘Unending Flow’.”

Ah, so it went from an online flame war to an offline PK battle.

As far as I know, this is what usually happens in their online flame wars:

First, the Dota veterans comment: “LOL players are dogs.” Then LOL guys reply: “If you dare come play a game with us, we’ll wipe the floor with you.” The dota players gets angry: “LOL is a retarded game only elementary school students play, real men play Dota.”

After the end of their usual arguments, they will enter the next stage where they go back and forth three hundred rounds, which looks like the below:

Dota faction: “You’re dumb.” LOL faction: “You’re dumb.” Dota faction: “You’re dumb.” LOL faction: “You’re dumb.”

After three hours both sides would be exhausted and there would be no winner. They would each retreat back to their own sides.

I didn’t think two sides who could only curse at each other online actually had the courage to do a real life PK battle. Was this the sign of an all-out war?

I asked Xiao Ding how they got into a fight. Xiao Ding took a bite of his pancake and said:

“It all started with Unending Flow. He introduced himself as Fan Chuan or ‘Xiao Chuan’. He was indeed a university student and his girlfriend was a classmate and I couldn’t hind any holes in his story…”

Huh, the name Fan Chuan sounds familiar.

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