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(Cast: An English Clown and a French Pierrot)

Clown: You are depressed again, Pierrot.

Pierrot: Such is my face. But I must admit, there is a point I find most disagreeable.

Clown: What exactly?

Pierrot: The way I cannot tell Japanese words and onomatopoeia from English ones.

Clown: I see, I see. In that case, I will italicize all Japanese onomatopoeia and romaji words from now on.

Pierrot: Please do.

Clown: But speaking of translating, I feel that the previous chapter post was far too boring this way.

Pierrot: How exactly?

Clown: Just typing a translation without a hint of individuality! Passion!

Pierrot: Well, Satoru-dono did just pass on, after all.

Clown: Rather than passing on, he passed over… and not pass on, passion!

Pierrot: Oh. In that case, tell them a joke.

Clown: Very well. Which circus performer can see in the dark? … the Acro-bat!

Pierrot: Speaking of the dark

Let’s Find Out What I Can Do

It’s dark.

The darkness envelopes all, preventing me from seeing any shape or figure.

Where am I? Besides, what had happened?

Wasn’t there someone making fun of me, calling me a… sage?… no, a great sage.

With that thought, I regained consciousness.

My name is Mikami Satoru. A 37 year old, nice guy.

While saving my kouhai[1] from a some street slasher, I got stabbed instead.

Alright~, remembered. I’m okay. No time for panic.

And really, could a cool guy like me even panic? Hah. That’s as likely as a grade school kid shi**ing his pants.

When I tried to look around, I finally noticed. I can’t open my eyes.

That problem aside, when I attempted to touch my head… I noticed my arms don’t respond. And even more perplexing is the fact that I cannot tell where my head is.

Alright, time to panic.

Oi, oi, give me a sec here.

Just an hour please, let me catch my breath. They say that you should count prime numbers at a time like this, no?

1, 2, 3, Daaaaa!!!

Wrong! That’s not right. One is not a prime number, is it?

No no, who cares about that.

No time for this foolishness. I mean, aren’t I in trouble?

Are~? Hey, what the heck happened?

Maybe… I mean what if it is too late to even consider panicking?

Gathering my thoughts, I confirmed that I am in no way in pain.

No pain. Feeling pretty good.

Neither hot nor cold. Actually, a really comfortable atmosphere they’ve got here.

I can relax a bit thanks to that.

Next, let’s check the limbs. Forget about them fingertips, I can’t even move a muscle…

How could that be?

It’s not like one can lose their arms and legs from being stabbed… so what happened?

And still, I cannot open my eyes.

Without seeing anything, I am in utter darkness.

Dread and unease slowly creep their way into my heart.

Could this… be what they call a vegetative state?

Consciousness separated from nerve endings–immobile… is this what it is?

No, no, no, no! Please don’t let that be true!

Just when I thought I was saved… vegetative state? What could be worse? Even losing a half of my body would be preferable!

And yeah, both outcomes would be terrible. But to be alone in this darkness, without any senses… isn’t that just hell?

Having imagined the worst scenario, panic has quickly turned into despair.

I want to think it over.

They say that when people are confined in darkness, they quickly go mad. I happen to be in that state right now, and cannot even kill myself.

Rather than despairing, the only thing I can do is go insane, huh?

And then,

*Touch*

There was a sense of touch.

Hmm? What is…

All my senses were focused on feeling that sensation

With a horizontal stroke across my belly (?), I felt something akin to grass.

Focusing my entire consciousness on that area, I slowly began to make out the shape of my body. And by the way, the grass’s tip felt prickly against my body.

It kind of made me happy.

Yet, I’m still in complete darkness. And although I regained only one of the five senses, I could finally feel again.

Amused, I decided to try to head towards that grass.

*Zururi[2]*

I could feel my body move.

It… moved?!

At that time, I was pretty certain that I was not on top of a hospital bed. Under my belly (?) I could feel some hard – rock, maybe.

I see… though I don’t really get it, I am not in a hospital.

Moreover, my eyes still can’t see.

Can’t hear anything either, but it could be just that I’ve gone deaf.

Although I don’t know if i am facing it or not – I can’t feel my head, after all – I’ll head towards the grass. I’ll learn about myself through contact.

No scent in the air either. Could it be? Did I also lose the sense of smell?

And seriously, I just can’t understand the shape of my body.

I really don’t want to accept it, but it seems sleek, jelly like–the kind that is really famous in RPGs–the appearance of that kind of monster.

I have been entertaining that possibility in the back of my head for a while now.

No, no… there’s no way. I mean, no matter how… it just can’t be.

For the time being, let’s set those fears aside.

Thus, I decided to try the last of the five human senses that I’ve ignored up until now.

But… I don’t even know where my mouth is. What to do…?

《Activate Unique Skill『Predator』? YES/NO》

Suddenly, there was a voice in the back of my head.

Wha… what was that?

Unique Skill『Predator』…?

And… what was that voice?

I thought I heard a strange voice while talking to Tamura before, but I guess I wasn’t just hearing things, huh…

Is someone there? Yet, somehow that doesn’t fit. More than someone being here… it’s more like words appearing in my mind.

The voice lacks intent; like the voice that would come from a computer, calling it synthesized would perhaps be most accurate.

For now… [NO!] is my response.

I am Japanese who can say no, after all.

Bringing up the words [NO] in my mind, I wait for a response. Yet it did not come. I waited for a bit, but felt no voice.

Seems like I won’t be getting a second question. Did I choose wrongly? Could this be a game that ends when I don’t choose [YES]?

I thought that it would be the same as in an RPG–the same question repeating until I chose [YES]… I guess I was wrong.

Asking a question and then leaving… what a rude guy.

Though I have to admit, hearing a voice did make me slightly happy.

I slightly regretted the decision.

Well, nothing can be done now.

I guess I’ll go back to trying to taste something.

I moved my body towards that piece of grass. While verifying my sense of touch, I leaned my body on the piece of grass.

I envelop the object with my body to confirm what it is… and I was right–it is, in fact, grass.

While touching the grass, the piece that was in contact with my body melted. And while I was worried that my body had melted, it seems to have been the grass only.

And thus, I understood that by melting the grass it was incorporated into my body.

It seems, the grass melted because it entered my body. In other words, rather than enveloping it, I seem to have swallowed it.

And by the way… it had no taste.

This is, in other words, that kind of thing.

I’m not a human.

That is, I seem to have died from that stab wound, right?

And that was not a question, I am completely certain of this fact. And thus, rather than a hospital bed, I can confidently say that I am at some rocky place where grass grows.

What happened to Tamura?

And Sawatari-san?

Has my PC been properly disposed of?

Some suspicions still remain. But, fretting over this won’t achieve anything at this point. I have to decide what to do next.

Actually, wait a moment.

The me right now, is anything happening to me? And by the way, that earlier sensation…

I once again directed my consciousness to myself.

*Puyon. Puyon[3]*

My body moves with rhythmic motion.

In that pitch black darkness, I spent some time to figure out my appearance.

And…

What a discovery!

I used to be simply handsome, but now I have this sleek and sophisticated body style!

Bah, are you an idiot! Don’t accept it~!!!

From all that I have gathered about my body, only that description seems appropriate.

No no, you know, that description.

I don’t hate it, right? Yeah. Some could even call it cute, after all.

But well…If you were asked “Would you want to become one?”, I’d say 90 percent of people would reply the same way.

However, all I can do is accept this situation.

It seems that I have reincarnated as a slime.

*Mosha mosha[4]*

*Mosha mosha mosha*

I am eating grass.

Why? It’s obvious!

I. HAVE. NOTHING. TO. DO!

Since I have accepted, albeit grudgingly, the fact that I became a slime, a day has passed.

The first concern on my mind was, of course, food.

I first tried to see if this slime body can feel hunger. For that purpose, I first checked my surroundings and found a place where grass seemed to be abundant.

On that note, I need to point out that the first grass was right by my side. When needed, I could eat it, and it’s sap seems to be usable in its own way. Being stuck in this complete darkness, I am very lucky to have had it so close. Even basic motion could result in death, after all.

And so, let’s experiment.

After counting fifty thousand sheep, I got bored.

I tried to see if I would fall asleep, but don’t feel even a little bit tired.

I tried counting prime numbers, but didn’t know the next one, so I gave up.

Shiritori[5] by oneself is also pointless… is there a way to kill time by yourself?

If there was Internet, I could waste my time away endlessly; cellphone games would also do. But this… this is torture.

Meditating like an ascetic monk is impossible for an amateur like me.

One thing I am still uncertain about: where any animals run around here.

There have been no signs of them until now.

Well, having no sight, hearing, or smell I can’t say there have been none close by until now, but I haven’t been attacked by one until now, at least.

Thanks to that, without fearing for my life, I am leisurely living.

That is the conclusion I reached after heroically suffering this (mental) agony.

I do not feel hunger. Nor do I need sleep.

Seriously, my stomach neither craved food nor did I ever desire sleep.

As to how many days had passed–I could not tell in this darkness.

Nor have I heard that strange voice again. If I had, I wouldn’t mind playing along now.

Thus, since I have nothing to do… I am eating grass.

Since I have no other way to kill time, I am quietly munching on some grass.

Now, I’ve accumulated and dissolved so much grass in my body that I can sense it.

If you asked what purpose that served, I would confidently respond: none.

I am just afraid that if I don’t do something, I’ll go crazy.

I’ve gotten used to the routine around here. First [Absorb], then [Disassemble], end with [Store], and then repeat.

And that’s where I found a point to investigate.

Lacking an appetite brings forth another question: what about excretion? Clearly food is unnecessary for this body, but what about excretion?

The answer was… it’s unnecessary!

I have yet to excrete anything after all this time.

Being a slime and all it is not unexpected for this things to be unnecessary, but, in that case, what is this [Store] thing all about?

From what I’ve noticed, I haven’t been changing in any way.

But in that case, what happens with what I eat?

《Solution. It is stored in the stomach associated with Unique Skill『Predator』. At this moment, less than 1% is occupied.》

What? A responseーーー!

But, since when have I been using that skill? I’ve selected [NO], after all…

《Solution. Unique Skill 『Predator』has not been activated. Substances entering into the body are automatically stored. This function is modifiable.》

Huh… The responses are much more smoother now. Not that it’s important.

About the skill, what will happen if I use it?

《Solution. The effects of Unique Skill『Predator』are…

Predation: To absorb the target into the body. However, if the target is conscious, the success rate greatly decreases. The affected targets include organic matter, inorganic matter, skills, and magic.

Analysis: The absorbed target is studied and analyzed. Craftable items can then be produced. Should many items gather, a duplicate can be produced. In the case of successful skill or magic analysis, the same technique can be acquired.

Stomach: The target can be stored. Items produced can also be stored. There is no storage time limit.

Mimicry: Replicate the target’s appearance. The skills and abilities used by the target can also be used. However, this depends on the successful analysis and acquisition of relative information regarding the target.

Isolation: Materials harmful or unnecessary for analysis can also be stored. They will be used to replace magic energy.

These five points are your power》

Eh…? EH?

It’s been a while since I last trembled with excitement. Somehow, I just heard of some incredible power…Such an amazing ability has never been held by a slime before.

Wait, before that.

The voice that hears my questions, what is this? Is there someone there.

《Solution. This is an effect of the Unique Skill『Great Sage』. For the sake of quickly utilizing your skills, a response function has been added》

Great sage, huh… A title I thought was given out to spite me. To think it would be so reliable now. From now on, I’ll depend on it more.

That being said, this is a pretty good situation.

This could be the end to this isolation I thought eternal.

Perhaps this “Voice” is only an auditory hallucination I made myself. Well, that would be fine in its own way.

And thus, since a long time ago, my heart has felt at ease.

Status

Name: Mikami Satoru

Race: Slime

Title: None

Magic: None

Abilities:Unique Skill『Great Sage』

Unique Skill『Predator』

Slime Natural Skill『Dissolve, Absorption, Self Regeneration』

Resistances:Thermal Fluctuation Resistance EX

Physical Attack Resistance

Pain Nullification

Electricity Resistance

Paralysis Resistance

[1] Junior.

[2] Sfx for slipping

[3] Sfx for jiggling/bouncing like jelly.

[4] Sfx for munching, eating something crunchy.

[5] Japanese wordgame, using the final kana of the first word for the basis of the next word and so on.

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