Chapter 124

She was, after all, an alpha who had come into it halfway through life, unfamiliar with the unspoken rules and conventions between alphas and omegas. But thinking about it—if she were to seek intimacy from her girlfriend and got rejected time and time again...

Just the thought alone felt like the sky was falling.

No wonder Xie Shiqing had suddenly broken down.

It was her own lack of consideration.

“Don’t be sad anymore, okay? It was my fault. I’m sorry, Shiqing, it was my fault.”

Zhong Ning cradled the back of Xie Shiqing’s head with one hand, and with her free hand, sent a message to the butler, telling her not to rush over. The tranquilizer wouldn’t be needed tonight, and when she did come, she could just deliver it directly to Xie Shiqing’s home without ringing the doorbell.

She also thanked the bodyguard for waiting so long and troubling her to come over so late at night, and asked her to please turn off the lights in the living room on her way out.

After handling everything, Zhong Ning put the phone aside. With her now-free hand, she gently patted Xie Shiqing’s back, her palm softly brushing over the faintly protruding vertebrae along her spine.

Xie Shiqing’s weight was like some sort of urban legend—it just never seemed to go up. The moment something happened, she would lose weight like crazy.

In all the time they’d known each other, this person hadn’t gained even a few ounces. On the contrary, she had become even thinner, her whole body frighteningly frail, as if she could break with just a touch.

“It’s okay now, it’s all okay.” She spoke in a calm voice, with a gentle tone. “Look at you, crying like a little tabby cat.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave you. Don’t be afraid.” Zhong Ning kissed her lightly on the side of her face, her lips falling on the space between her brows. “I won’t leave, and you won’t leave either, alright?”

No one knew which sentence finally managed to unlock Xie Shiqing’s tightly shut heart. She drew in a shaky breath and finally moved, tilting her head up to rub against Zhong Ning’s chin.

“Really?” she asked in a tearful voice. “Ning Ning won’t abandon me?”

“Of course not.” Zhong Ning gently wiped away the tears pooling again at the corners of her eyes with the pad of her finger. “How could I ever abandon you?”

Xie Shiqing’s eyes were red as she buried her face in Zhong Ning’s neck and began to cry again.

Xie Shiqing’s eyes looked like two small deep pools. The water rose within them, turning into tears that spilled from her eyes, sorrowfully reflecting Zhong Ning’s face.

So many tears, so much grief—it was as if a light rain was falling in her arms. Hot and unceasing, soaking through her collar.

Zhong Ning knew that Xie Shiqing had some psychological issues. During this period, though they hadn’t been physically intimate, she had always been cautious with her words during their conversations, careful not to say anything that might be misinterpreted.

She hadn’t done that out of love. Even if it had been someone else, even a total stranger, she wouldn’t deliberately poke at someone’s wounds. That was just her basic decency as a human being.

And yet, despite all the calculations and precautions, this was where things had gone wrong.

Zhong Ning had already prepared inhibitors in advance, to be used during her heat period. They were indeed effective—after using them, she felt calm and detached, with no side effects.

This was something used across society, of course there wouldn’t be any issues.

It was just that Xie Shiqing’s condition was a bit more complicated.

Still, things get easier with experience. Since it was her fault, she would do her best to make up for it.

Tonight's situation was lighter than the last time—Zhong Ning could tell. At the very least, after the marking, Xie Shiqing could still talk to her, unlike before when communication had been completely impossible.

It was already one in the morning. Zhong Ning sighed quietly in her heart. It seemed she wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.

Xie Shiqing’s crying gradually weakened. Like a hamster finally daring to lift its head from the dirt, she peeked out timidly, revealing a red-tipped nose and tear-reddened eyes—looking utterly pitiful.

Zhong Ning felt a sour ache in her heart, but mostly she felt distressed. Why had she let herself end up like this? How had she become like this?

What she had wanted was to help Xie Shiqing regain a passion for life, not to become the only passion in her life.

She was just an ordinary person—not capable of being the god in someone else’s heart.

Zhong Ning could understand. In front of someone you love, you inevitably cared deeply about their thoughts and feelings, becoming anxious and insecure. She was no exception. But there was a limit. Xie Shiqing’s reaction had already gone far beyond that line—she had crossed into unsafe territory.

This wasn’t right. If a person couldn’t learn to love herself more, if she didn’t have a stable enough core and was always trapped by the opinions of others, stuck in a relationship dominated by someone else—then wouldn’t she become like a tiny boat in a storm, having completely lost control over herself?

Whatever others said, she would simply obey.

That was terrifying.

Zhong Ning absolutely didn’t want a relationship like that, and even more so, she didn’t want to become that person who controlled another, becoming the god of Xie Shiqing’s inner world—her slave master, her everything.

What could she do to handle their relationship properly?

Especially given Xie Shiqing’s current state—how could she correct her thinking without causing harm? That had become an urgent and pressing issue.

Zhong Ning held her gently, swaying slightly like a small cradle, all the while thinking hard.

Maybe… consult a psychologist?

But would Xie Shiqing be able to speak honestly to a psychologist? Could she open up about all of her feelings?

The chances were slim. Even someone seeking self-help would instinctively avoid the truth when seeing a therapist. It took time to lower one’s guard and begin confessing little by little.

Let alone Xie Shiqing—a person whose walls were built sky-high. If she had ever wanted to see a therapist, she would have done so long ago, before her condition had deteriorated to this point.

It was enough to give someone a headache.

Still, there was a saying that made sense: a person’s childhood played a crucial, immeasurable role in shaping their personality. Maybe what she needed was a targeted approach—learn more about what had happened in Xie Shiqing’s past, analyze the root of the problem, and only then could she help heal her in a meaningful way.

In any case, she was going to the library. There was so much new knowledge to learn—adding a few books on psychology wouldn’t make a difference. After all, when you're already in debt, what’s a little more?

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