Level One God

Chapter 95 - The Guild Hall


I felt like a kid with a big secret as I looked around the tavern common room, hoping to spot Lyria. I was dying to tell her I was officially one of two Dimensional Guild Masters in all of Eros. If I kept this up, I may need to consider commissioning some kind of stone tablet to officially document all the badass titles I was collecting.

The tavern common room was cozy and dim, lit by a few torches burning in sconces along the wall and smaller candles on the tables. Men and women in cloaks spoke quietly as they ate and drank while a larger group chattered in the corner over a pair of young girls playing Vice. From the looks of it, there was heavy betting going on.

As usual, the majority of people I saw were Wood Rank, with maybe one in every twenty here being Iron. I didn't see any Silvers or above. A few people were obviously adventurers who wore battered and dented plate armor, robes, or leathers. Some wore simple clothing, though the definition of "simple" seemed to vary from race to race. Human types, whether they had small horns or the occasional variation, wore thin tunics and pants, but occasionally dressed it up with fashionable jackets that hung to knee length with a half-cloak over one shoulder. The truly rich seemed to opt instead for admittedly stylish button-down tunics threaded with various patterns. The button-down tunics often had high collars, and appeared to be unisex.

Clothing for other races was harder to pin down. The tomte seemed to occasionally wear human style clothing, but they also sometimes wore what I assumed was culturally appropriate tomte clothing—a kind of dressed up version of what looked like overalls, oversized boots with pointed toes, and hats of all varieties and sizes. The hardest part to get used to was probably the beards on tomte women and the eccentric styles they wore them in.

If I didn't have so much to do, I would've enjoyed simply hanging around to watch the game of Vice and keep observing the peculiarities of a completely foreign culture. But I could do that later.

Right now, it looked like Lyria and the escaped slaves were still in their personal rooms. Honestly, they were probably catching some sleep. It was easy to forget how people without cursed bedrolls needed to do that for hours and hours a night. I knew the benefits of my bedroll came at a cost, and I'd have to dabble with dark mana before I could rest tonight. But I felt optimism and not dread on that score. It was just another challenge to overcome. When challenges came with rewarding payoffs, I would welcome them with open arms.

I whistled happily to myself, feeling energized, awake, and completely buzzed with excitement to step into my guild hall and claim my rewards. I'd just catch Lyria after claiming my loot, I supposed.

I twirled the key to the personal space on my finger as I weaved through the common room. I passed a group of tomte who were laughing and drinking. I caught a chunk of their conversation as I passed.

"...picked up his own arm and I shit you not," a black-bearded tomte with scars up and down his arms said. "This is exactly what he said. 'I think I'll head home now.' The boy picked up his own arm and just walked himself out of the dungeon!"

The tomte laughed, bending over their drinks or gripping their beards with eyes squeezed shut.

"Heard he's working with…"

I lost the conversation as I turned a corner, moving past the game of Vice and the happily bickering people who were watching and trying to argue about who was winning. I noticed a few curious looks as I passed. Appraising looks.

I wasn't sure, but I thought maybe some people could tell I was Iron. The looks they gave me were a mixture of suspicion and admiration. Or maybe it was just fear. I had definitely grown taller and more muscular since arriving in Eros, and advancing to Iron sped things along.

I headed down a long, unadorned hallway toward the single door at the end that I knew would lead to my personal space. This same door would take everyone to their own personal space, which was apparently some kind of pocket dimension separate from physical reality. Unlike everyone else, I knew this door would now take me to my own guild hall.

I was a little giddy at the thought, and hoped I wasn't building the place up too much. But I imagined it would be hard to be disappointed with a goddamn guild hall. The concept alone was enough to give me chills of excitement. Besides, I was getting a butler. There was no way that wasn't going to be awesome.

I turned the key, felt the familiar zap of static across my body, and then slowly pushed the simple wood door open.

My breath caught as I glimpsed my very own guild hall.

Instead of the broom closet of a personal space I had before, I saw an expansive, long rectangular hall. Stone pillars reaching twenty feet extended forward in pairs, leading to a raised platform at the end of the hall. The ceiling was crisscrossed with thick wooden beams and the walls held recesses for paintings, furniture, or whatever else I might want to add.

I stepped inside, closing the door behind me as I smiled from ear to ear. Sure, it was empty at the moment, but the space was perfect. I could already imagine banners, trophies, rugs, banquet tables, and maybe even a humble little throne for the Dimensional Guild Master at the end of the room.

Alright. Maybe a throne would be a bit much. But maybe I could just ask for a chair shaped like a throne? A chair that I happened to sit in dramatically at the front of the room while I stroked my chin thoughtfully?

I'd leave that open as an option. There was no harm in having options.

There were door-shaped recesses in the stone walls all along the hall, reminding me of a video game that was promising there was a way to unlock doors and more rooms down the line.

I pictured those doors leading to hallways of rooms for guild members, armories, training rooms, crafting areas, and maybe even a digging area for grommets if I ever found a way to get them in here.

My mind was swimming with the potential of it all when a soft, rumbling hoot sound made me practically jump out of my Abyss Walker Boots.

My back bumped against the door as I saw something very large drift into view at the far end of the room. It was maybe eight feet tall, round as a bowling ball, and covered in feathers that looked like Voidsteel.

A giant fucking owl the size of a bear?

It certainly looked the part, though it was far more owl than bear. Other than two stubby but powerful bear-like legs at the bottom of its rounded body, it looked like a giant, dimensional owl.

I inspected it as it drifted closer, waddling slightly and leaving a trail of glittering magic dust in its wake that sparkled and shined before drifting upward to vanish.

[Astral Custodian, Level 1 (Wood)] Astral Custodians are a proud, ancient race with spirit bonds to the dimensional realm. When a need arises, the mysterious Astral Custodians are summoned to fill it, often waking from long slumbers. It is not known how many Astral Custodians exist or where they originate from. All that's known is when the criteria are met, they appear. When they appear, they tirelessly work to complete their task to the utmost standards.

The creature waddle-drifted toward me as I read the description, seeming as if it was only halfway rooted in reality. Looking closer, I could see that its blue-black feathers seemed to break apart at the edges so I could partly see through it.

Two huge eyes like galaxies stared at me, wide and surprised above a small, downturned beak that looked like polished ivory.

Before it reached me, it paused suddenly, crouching and using two long feather-like fingers to pick a speck of dirt from the ground. It glared at the dirt, then seemed to magically vaporize it before tucking its wing back into its orb-like body.

"Hi," I said, feeling a little intimidated, despite knowing it was only level 1. "You must be my butler?"

The huge eyes blinked one time with deadly slowness. The air itself seemed to thicken and condense with warning as it leaned forward, bringing its face so close I could see the swimming patterns of purple, gold, and orange in its huge eyes. "Butler?" Its voice came without movement of the beak, as if it was projected magically into the air as an ethereal whisper, floating both everywhere and nowhere at once. Its tone was thick with disbelief, insult, and outrage.

The Astral Custodian straightened to its full height, puffing its chest full of magical feathers out slightly. The whole creature shimmered with blues, purples, and oranges as a kind of magical pattern slowly moved across its body. It was mesmerizing.

"I am the custodian of this guild hall, not a servant to polish and clean your boots. I will however, polish and clean the guild hall. But the two tasks are not the same." The creature had a voice that would be perfect for documentary narration, and it echoed in my mind with an ethereal depth.

I bit back a smile. "Right. Sorry. I didn't mean any offense. Do you have a name I should call you by? Or is just 'custodian' good?"

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

"You will call me Heutacratan'ka Nuk'ra'tet of the Astral Keep."

I raised an eyebrow. "Could I call you… Hoot for short?"

"Hoot?" It asked. A pair of thin feathers where its ears should have been lifted and its brows lowered, curving the orbs of its eyes into angry shapes. Long, white-blue feathers extended horizontally above its eyes like the wizened, drooping brows of an old kung-fu master. "Yes," it said, vibrating slightly like a bird settling into a roost. The large shape of its body puffed out as it sank down, its face partly lowering into its chest. "This title is acceptable. Your wet tongue mouth would only do injustice to my proper name."

"Perfect," I said. "So, what can you tell me about this place?"

"The knowledge I possess is deep and vast beyond the comprehension of your fragile meat brain. To tell you what I know would be to fragment your reality into pieces as numerous as the stars."

"I see," I said slowly.

"However," Hoot said, "As an Astral Custodian, I am also equipped with the tools and requisite intelligence to present information in what you would call a 'dumbed down' form. This method should protect your limited intelligence and grasp of reality, Dimensional Guild Master."

"You can just call me Brynn," I said. "And thanks. Let's protect my fragile meat brain, then. What can you tell me that won't kill me?"

"This is the bulletin board," Hoot said, soundlessly unfolding a huge wing that was six feet long. He pointed it toward the side of the hall.

I grinned. "I'm curious. Was there a version of that information capable of making my brain explode?"

Hoot turned his head almost 180 degrees to look at me with a haughty expression. "Does the worm need to know how the plants draw energy from the sun to grow and die, enriching the soil with the fuel it needs to live?"

"The worm might be curious…" I said.

Hoot sighed, closing his eyes dramatically. "Your bulletin board will display tasks needed to advance the capabilities of your guild. As you can see, there are three types of tasks."

I followed the huge owl-bear toward the bulletin board. With each step of his stumpy bear legs, he left a sparkling, multi-colored footprint full of magic dust on the ground. It swirled in his wake, whipping up into the air to cast off specks of light before vanishing.

I wasn't completely convinced he actually had access to mind-blowing amounts of information. I wondered if this guy was more like the janitor at my middle school who had insisted on calling himself a sanitation expert.

I approached the bulletin board and took a look. It was a simple wooden board with three pieces of aged parchment nailed to it. Each was covered in handwritten text that looked as if it had been written by a small child with a shaky hand. "Did you write these yourself, Hoot?" I asked.

Hoot puffed up his chest feathers, tucking his wings in tightly to his bulk. "My feathers make grasping your primitive writing implements a challenge. My true language would cause your eyes to melt out of their sockets and your teeth to explode."

I bit back another smile. "My teeth would explode?" I asked.

"Certainly," Hoot said simply.

This guy is certainly dramatic.

I leaned in to read the notes.

[Material Request (Tier 1)] Provide the esteemed Astral Custodian with two-hundred pounds of hardwood. Bonus Task: Provide the esteemed Astral Custodian with an item of suitable curiosity for his collection. [Reward - Tier 1 Furnishings] [Bonus Task Reward - Tier 1 Furnishing Embellishments]

I looked up from the list. "An item of suitable curiosity for your collection?" I asked. "What does that mean?"

His beak clicked a few times as he rested his wing hands on his large, rounded belly. "I require intellectual pursuits. Items of… shiny qualities, perhaps? Interesting shapes? Things that would fit on a small shelf will suffice. Shells. Colorful feathers. Interesting metals."

I pursed my lips, trying not to smile. Mr. Vast Intelligence liked to collect shiny things and shells? "Got it," I said, looking back at the list.

[Treasury Expansion (Tier 1)] Contribute ten gold to the esteemed guild treasury, which is carefully managed by the equally esteemed Astral Custodian. [Reward - Tier 1 addition of functionality to the guild hall]

[Proof of Glory (Tier 1)] Cleanse an infestation, defeat a dungeon guardian, or place in the top five of a major city tournament. [Reward - Tier 2 Guild. Maximum Members increased from 6 to 12. Unlocks Tier 2 Guild capabilities, additional upgrades, and features. Further details available upon advancement]

Interesting. The first two tasks gave a Tier 1 reward, but this one rewarded something at Tier 2. It also seemed like the most challenging task by far.

I pursed my lips when I finished with the list. "If I add people to the guild, will they be able to complete these tasks, too?"

"Correct," Hoot said. "The bulletin board is a guild task. These three tasks may be completed or contributed toward by any member of the guild. Personal spaces of guild members are still modifiable by traditional means. The guild hall may grow and be modified by the completion of tasks on this board. Have I described this in sufficiently simplified terms?"

"Yes," I said. "Got it. Friends can help me complete these tasks, and the rewards apply to the guild hall, not my personal space. If I want to upgrade that, I've still got to go to a furnisher or earn accomplishments."

"Your ability to simplify information is truly commendable, Dimensional Guild Master." Hoot's creepy magic voice was somehow both dry and vast at the same time. "Perhaps it is the limitations of your mind that allow you to see such a narrow view of reality."

I considered all the information, then narrowed my eyes at the three handwritten notes on the bulletin board. "Did you just make up these requirements?"

"The list is sacred, and it shall not be questioned. If you wish to grow the capabilities of your guild hall, you will respect and obey the sacred list, Dimensional Guild Master."

"Alright," I said. "But could you grant me the upgrades even if I didn't complete these tasks?"

Hoot hesitated. "The third task is not negotiable. The first two… are… beyond your intelligence to grasp."

I stared at him. "Are the first two just things you want and things you're willing to give us in exchange?"

Hoot straightened. "That is a sickening over-simplification. But… I suppose the Dimensional Guild Leader could choose to view it that way."

I folded my arms as I read back through the list. I had no idea how hard or expensive it would be to get my hands on two-hundred pounds of hardwood, but adding some furniture would definitely help the place feel less empty.

The proof of glory task was easily the toughest. I knew our experience in Beastden was hardly ordinary, but I still imagined it wasn't an easy task to go into a dungeon and clear a dungeon heart, even without a crazed Eclipsed trying to stop me. I had also seen just how treacherous infestations could be, and didn't think that would be any easier. The tournament part was intriguing, though. More and more, it felt like I was discovering reasons to give this Thrask tournament a much closer look.

I had to admit I wasn't upset about that.

"Any chance you can retroactively give me credit for clearing a dungeon? I literally just got done doing that before activating my guild hall."

"Perhaps the Dimensional Guild Master should have activated his guild hall before completing a dungeon. No. You'll need to do it again if you wish to reach Tier 2."

I figured as much, but it was worth asking. "What kind of functionality would get added if I gave you ten gold?" I asked.

"You do not give me gold. You give it to the guild hall."

"Okay. What kind of functionality would get added if I gave the guild hall ten gold?"

"It would be a surprise," Hoot said, eyes shifting away from mine for a moment.

"Does it have to be a surprise? Or do you just want it to be?"

"You will not question the sacred bulletin board or the Astral Custodian himself." Hoot's eyes narrowed mid-sentence as he seemed to hone in on what looked like a speck of dust on the polished stone floor between us. In a flash, he knelt his awkwardly large body, wing snapping out as he slowly lowered a feathered finger and scooped up the dust.

It turned red hot and disappeared in a pathetic little puff of smoke.

Hoot looked back at me. "Now. It's time to claim your rewards, is it not? Allow me to show you to your personal chambers, Dimensional Guild Master."

"You know I have rewards to claim?" I asked.

Hoot waddled toward the back of the room. "As I have said. The depths of what I know would shatter your fragile consciousness."

Hoot stopped in front of a simple wooden door. "Your touch is required to open this door."

I reached for the handle and pulled it open. Hoot practically rushed inside before I could. I frowned at him. "What are you doing?"

My true personal space was still the size of a broom closet, and Hoot looked ridiculous as he stuffed himself into the corner, body hunched forward because he was too tall for the room. He stared at me with those galaxy eyes. "I will advise you on your rewards."

"Uh, that's alright. I think you're too big for the room. You can just wait outside."

Hoot shuffled slightly, making himself marginally smaller as he crammed himself into the corner. "There is ample room for us both."

I paused. "Admit you want to watch because you're curious, and I'll let you stay."

Hoot froze. "I will not. Watching the claiming of loot is the sacred obligation of the Astral Custodian. It is—" Hoot trailed off when he saw the look on my face. He deflated slightly. "Very well. I am also curious. I… find surprises stimulating and enjoyable."

I grinned. "See? We can have fun if we just stop being so formal all the time. If you're going to be my butler, we've got to learn to compromise a little."

"I am not your butler. I am the astral custodian of this guild hall."

"Right. You're going to be my friend. It's okay to admit you want it, too. I've got an Iron boon that helps companions like me more. You don't even need to be embarrassed if you're feeling tempted to like me. It's just magic, Hoot."

"Astral Custodians do not need friends, Dimensional Guild Master. We only need our sacred duty and the satisfaction of service to the guild hall and its maintenance, upkeep, and glorious expansion."

"We'll work on that," I said, slipping into the room and leaving the door open. Hoot was the size of a refrigerator, and I barely had room to sit cross-legged on the floor with him looming over me.

He leaned closer, eyes growing wider as his beak parted. "Which reward will you begin with, Dimensional Guild Master?"

"We always start with the lowest rarity, Hoot. It's like a rule of proper looting. If I started with the best item, all the small stuff wouldn't feel as exciting."

Hoot vibrated and a soft but rapid hoohoohoo sound came from him. It reminded me of the sound my male guinea pig used to make when I was a kid. Except he made that sound when he was trying to do dirty things to the two female guinea pigs in his cage. I wondered if that sound meant Hoot liked my answer.

"Oh," I said. "There's somebody else you should meet. This is Pebble," I said, summoning Pebble, who immediately rolled away from Hoot in terror.

"Fascinating," Hoot said, leaning even closer until I had to push my back against the wall to avoid being crushed. "He is… sentient?"

"He is," I said. "It's alright, Pebble. This is Hoot. He's our Astral Custodian."

Pebble cautiously rolled closer.

Hoot lowered a curved feather from his hand. Pebble rolled up it and Hoot lifted him, eyes growing even wider as he studied his shape. He made that deep hoohoohoo sound again, beak parted in awe. "What is his title?" Hoot asked me.

"Uh," I said, smirking. "I just call him Pebble."

"Pebble," Hoot whispered. "Hmmm…. Yes. This is appropriate. I will document it in the guild annals."

"Alright," I said, viewing the tokens in my slip space. "I think we'll start with this Common Healer's Token."

"Yes," Hoot said. "Let us."

I pulled the token from my slip space, feeling the familiar tingle of anticipation as I prepared to see what rewards awaited. With Hoot breathing down my neck and Pebble nestled safely in my lap, I activated the token.

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