All of my memories that came from being a part of something never failed to bring warmth to my heart and lightness to my steps.

In the blurry days after I had stolen The Well, most of my days had been spent curled up in my bed. It had not mattered if I was in the grips of believing myself to be someone else. As soon as my mother had sat down and started telling me a story, that was all that mattered.

The first time I had felt it on my own had been with Anna. I had barely known her, and she had taken me to her room to give me something to wear that was warmer than Arthur's sweatshirt and the shorts I had stolen from her. We had been going ghost hunting and somewhere in that long walk in the woods, I had forgotten about being me. It had been the three of us and we were doing something together. It had been one of the better nights of my life until a four eyed wolf had revealed itself to me and reminded me that I was not a part of something.

All the late nights spent training in secret with my coach had turned into something as well. If it had been up to me, if I had been alone, there would have likely been no training at all. Anna, sitting on the edge of our canopy bed with her notes and her wine, had been the only thing that had pushed me to learn anything. I had known it was helping me and understood that I should have been doing it for myself, but all the glamors and floating plates of cold food had been for her.

Playing points with Arthur, the manor guards, in tournaments at seven columns, I was never just me. When I was in my stance with one arm held behind my back and searching whoever I was playing against for the slightest opening, I was not the girl that Auden had reminded me I was.

I was a hunter, and so was my opponent. I hadn't stolen anything, there was nothing marking my flesh or binding my power, and The Mothers were the last thing on my mind.

We were doing something together and that was all that mattered.

I had begun to feel that way with the other new moons as well.

Mallory's irresistible need to be touched or to be touching one of us had been strange for me at first, but after spending more time with her, I had stopped minding and began to look forward to it. If Anna thought me to be as cute as I thought she did, it was only because she had never been around Plia. The little underwitch was so small, and was almost as obsessed with eating as Sorceress Suri was with getting revenge on The Mother in Red. Her power was not small however. Having to eat her own aura or not, if I was the strongest of the new moons, I thought her to be the second and was unsure of how big the gap between us was. Then there was Vanda. Watching her care for the others and then having her heal my aching hand, she reminded me of my mother with how much she cared about the rest of us.

When Tana was not around, and it was just the four of us, why we were supposed to think of each other as sisters had began to become clear to me.

But when things were about me, when I was not a part, but the focus, I did not feel nearly as warm.

My punishments were the easiest example of that. The time I had spent with Rhiannon aside, Being the center of Azza's, Gwyn's or Ali's attention had not exactly been good for me.

Being brought before The Mother's usually ended with a different part of my power being sealed away and some new punishment I had to live in fear of.

The sorcerer Eames had turned from a much needed ally to someone who wished to steal me away. The Lady in Red had been willing to crush anyone in her way after she had looked at me and saw herself staring back at her. Even if he had not meant it to happen, The Warden had made me feel like I was the most important soul in all of chaos when I had been helping him with his work.

It had not been his fault, but all that feeling had brought me was pain.

Sitting in the room that overlooked Lun's front gates and holding The Mother's in Grey's hands so everyone around me could see my soul unfortunately felt like the latter.

I was something to be seen.

After a life of being locked away, punished, guarded, and ordered around, that should not have felt as bad as it did.

"What happened? I thought you were a red, but all I see is blue." Mother Gwyn asked from wherever she was in the mass of people around me.

Mother Ali chuckled. "You don't even understand why we are here do you? You don't get enough sunlight in that forest of yours."

"Is something wrong, Underwitch Autumn?" Mother Grey asked as I felt her squeeze my hands again.

My eyes were still closed. I didn't want to see them see what I was feeling and I knew myself better than to believe that I could keep it from my face.

"No. I just don't want to do this." I answered honestly without a moment of consideration over if I should or not. I spent almost everyday concealed in a mask of lies, when Ire was not looming over me, it was very difficult for me to find the will to lie.

"That is irrelevant. Continue." Azza commanded.

One of them sighed.

"No it's not. There are plenty of other things to do if she wishes to," Nami said through her sigh. "We are here to observe and learn alongside her, I have already explained that to you."

"Yes, but I do not accept your explanation. Gwyn's deep forest is in true war, and she risks being usurped by the powers that have gathered there just by being here. Dozens of our emissaries are presently at a feast that Ali has thrown in their honor, and yet she is here. The village of Hur and all of its peach groves would have been lost to a shift if I had not held it together just hours ago. And you, Namiana. All your trouble with the gatekeepers and having a city in your domain being stalked by a demon, and you would still let us be controlled by her whims?" Azza said, her voice much more threatening than Nami's was.

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For once, I did not think that Azza was being intentionally cruel. Her voice was harsh, but I could hear genuine curiosity in it, and that was more than I had come to expect from her.

"She's probably scared of us," Ali said before pausing to hit her burner once again. The sweet smell of it was thick in my nose and brought painfully good memories of the warden to the front of my mind. "I wouldn't be happy to see any of you if you had done the things to me that we have to her."

"Then stop doing bad things to her." Anna said, the steel in her voice making her sound just like Ms. Lao.

I opened an eye then, and failed at hiding the smile that spread across my face.

The dark haired girl was barely visible behind Nami and Alexei. All I could see of her was the black painted tips of the fingers that rested on Mother Grey and a small amount of her sleeve.

Azza had set her golden eyes towards her in a furious scowl, but Anna did not apologize for what she had said.

I could do things. I could make glamors and use charms. Manifesting my whip or my fireworks had never been easier for me and I was the strongest of Lun's new moons. Even still, I didn't have the courage to say something like that to The Mothers.

"Is that what it is, Underwitch Autumn? Are you apprehensive because you fear our anger?" Mother Grey asked as I closed my eye once again.

I did not answer her.

Anna had reminded me that as long as she was around, I was not alone. We were in the room together. She would see what The Mothers saw. If I showed them my soul, she would come to know it as well, and I could not think of a reason to do anything that was better than that.

Pushing past my blue was no great feat.

As my mind went further and further into me, I felt the air in the room change. It became so quiet, that I was almost convinced that no one was breathing.

My tangled chords came into my sight inside the empty white and I reached for the red beneath the blue like I had so many times before.

Just before my fingers brushed against my perfect shade, a feeling of fullness filled me and my focus began to slip. Like the moment after a sneeze or a big body yawn, waves of pleasure washed through me and I came back out of myself with a heavy sigh.

When it passed, and I was left feeling like I had just woken up from the best sleep of my life, I opened my eyes once again.

Mother Grey was the only person in the room that was still wear she had been before I had reached for my soul.

She still would not meet my eyes, but her rough thumbs were rubbing the tops of my hands gently.

Anna wrapped her arms around me and kissed me on my cheek. "Oh, Autumn. You're all twisted up inside."

"I told you that," I laughed and felt dampness on my cheek as she buried her head against me. "Why are you crying?"

"Seeing someone else's soul takes getting used to, Underwitch Autumn." Mother Grey said softly.

Looking at everyone else only gave me more reason to believe her.

Gwyn had sat down on the floor. Her knees were pulled to her chest and when she peeked up at me, there was obvious fear in her eyes.

Nami had her hand on the top of The Mother in Green's head in a comforting gesture. When our eyes met, she gave me a reassuring smile and I could not keep my hand from the earring she had given me.

The Mother in Purple could not have been more different from her Green sister. A toothy smirk spread across her face and her burner still hanging from her mouth, she struck her own palm with her fist repeatedly. If I had not known better, I would have thought that she had gotten drunk again like she had during my punishment.

Alexei seemed the least like himself that I had ever seen. The white haired man's eye was wide, and he ran his hands back over his hair as he lowered himself into a crouch.

Nervousness began to team in my middle. "What did I do? Did I do something wrong?"

Alexei looked over at me.

Then, he was gone.

The door to the room swinging open was the only sign that he had ever been there at all. His disappearance would have normally made me mad, but if I had the ability to do what he could do, I likely would use it far more than he did.

"Come, sisters. There are matters we must attend to." Azza said as she walked to the then open door. Her back was turned to me, but her long arms were wrapped around herself like she had suddenly caught a chill.

Nami helped Gwyn up and Ali tossed her burner into the fireplace before she followed Azza to the door. Anna still held me, and I would let her for as long as she was willing to.

Grey stood without letting me go and a king sigh slipped through her lips. "Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Underwitch Autumn."

"You are welcome? Why are you all leaving? I'm sorry if-" I started.

"You have done nothing wrong. It is as Mother Azza said, there are matters we must attend to. But before I depart, I will give you a warning," She said as she looked back at the others. "After the final class of your first phase, I will come for you and deliver my punishment."

"Oh, right." I sighed, remembering that I had only lived through three of the nine that had been hung around my neck.

Grey patted my hands before finally letting me go. "I tell you this so you do not fear it. Our time together will be much less violent than those that you have spent with the other Mothers. You have my word."

I knew better than to listen to my feelings when it came to them, but I did not get the sense that she was trying to trick me.

"Wait," I called after them. "What about my training?"

Everyone had left the room except for Azza.

The Mother in Brown stopped in the doorway but again, she did not turn around to face me. Still holding her arms around herself, she cleared her throat. "Mother Namiana will assist you with that, but we all must go. I am sorry, Autumn. Forgive us."

A chill actually ran through me at her words, and I looked to Nami in confusion. "I did something wrong, didn't I? I had to. What did I do to her?"

"You were yourself. How could that ever be wrong?" Nami asked as Alexei came back into the room and shut the door behind himself.

My white haired guard had returned to his usual state of being expressionless, but I caught him sneaking glances at me when he thought I was not looking.

"I just don't understand. She has told me almost every time that I have seen her that I would be better off dead. She said that Anna was only allowed to be with me so she could be taken away if I did not obey all of you. I almost didn't have skin because of her. It scares me more that she apologized to me and asked me to forgive her. What did I do?" I demanded, my voice growing louder and my grip on Anna tightening as I spoke.

Nami shrugged and shook her head. "I cannot read minds, but I think that seeing your soul has helped make things clearer for my self righteous sister. If I had to guess, and I am not good at guessing, I think she might have seen you for the first time."

That made my head hurt. She had seen me plenty of time before. My confusion was evidently easy for Nami to see.

"Lady Anna knows you better than anyone, and look what it has done to her." Nami smiled.

"It was beautiful. I love you so much." Anna cried into my shoulder.

Nami nodded in agreement. "It truly was. Maybe seeing that let her look past all the other things she normally sees when she looks at you."

I thought about that for a long moment and could not find a way to understand it.

But I still had my skin, and as my dealings with Azza went, that was an improvement.

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