My life had been in danger more times in the few short years that I could remember of it than I would have wished.

A lich, a sorcerer, The Mothers, The Lady in Red, falling off a roof, losing my mind, being crushed to death, snarling beasts, coiling serpents, spiders, falling into a lake of fire, there was no end to what had threatened me.

I could add almost being eaten and nearly drowning to the list.

While I had sat with Benny in my lap and cried myself out of tears, Bru had sworn to the warden over and over again that she had not bitten me so she could sate her hunger.

It made sense. The row of teeth marks she had left in my leg had been shallow enough that the warden's silken tether had healed them in no time at all. Still, after all she had said about how good I smelled and all the times she had called me her little morsel, it was hard for me to believe that she had not enjoyed it.

She had been the first of the familiars to leave our little group. The warden had given her permission to go and hunt and she had trotted out to sea with nothing but her shrill giggling left to mark her exit.

Rat was the next to go.

Wing unbroken, sunlight shining through his little chest, and the brassy quality of his prideful voice returned, he reminded me of his debt before he made his leave.

"No," I shook my head in disagreement. "No debts. I don't like them. The egg is enough."

He had swooped down in front of me and I understood that that was his version of a nod. "You sorceresses are usually a nasty bunch, but I believe you are the most honorable of them all."

He was wrong, of course. If I had not known personally, how heavy a debt could feel on my shoulders, I may have taken him up on his offered favors.

The warden called the little bird over to him and whispered something before Rat darted off towards the cliffs we sat beneath.

My tears had dried up, and my afterglow had faded, but I felt far from normal. In truth, there was nothing I wanted to do more than to crawl into my bed and let Anna hold me. She would understand. She would not make me talk or expect anything from me. She would take me as the ragged mess that I was and care me back to myself.

Ever since we had made our trade, Deebee had been passing my werelight back-and-forth between all eight of his tentacles.

I did not know how it had not turned to dust in his grasp. My focus had long since slipped and no part of me was giving any power to keep it shining.

It had taken him several tries, but eventually, his jelly-like flesh shifted through different shades of blue until he had found my azure.

"Trade again later" Deebee said to me as he began moving back towards the cave.

The warden knelt down and held out his hand to the octopus. "Hold on. Going so soon? We haven't been induced properly. I'm Mortwyn, I'm the warden here. The one who made you has put me here to care for you. Is there anything you need?"

Deebee flicked his rainbow eyes between the warden and I.

I swallowed my sadness once again and gave him my best attempt at a comforting smile. "He is a friend, he will trade with you if you want him to."

"Sugar. Soon." Deebee said through a sad sigh that sent frothy bubbles spreading out from his bulk.

The warden nodded. "I'll have your sugar. And if you try to not steal anything else before then, I'll give it to you for free."

The octopus crawled away from my mound of round stones without answering the warden.

The bearded man did call after him, move, or make any attempt at stoping his leaving. All he did was smile and watch, a bright gleam in his blue eyes.

"Is it always like this?" I asked, thinking of everything I had seen him do since we had met on the beach with Taloo.

His brows furrowed. "Is what like what? High tide? Most days it isn't that bad when the moon is small."

I shook my head. "No. I mean being the warden. Is everyday like this?"

"No, not at all," He chuckled. "Most of the familiars are at the meeting grounds, today has been fairly calm all things considered."

I looked down, meaning to hide the worry in my eyes, but I found Benny staring right back up at me.

"Mama. Tired." The little crystal creature said.

"She's right, we should get going. If your guard doesn't kill me, little Seram will. We are at least an hour late," The warden groaned as he stood. "You think you can dry out another of my smokes? I'll owe you."

I did as he asked, knowing that he owed me nothing. The debt between us was mine, the last day of my life would have been much less full if he had not taken an interest in me.

"Are you coming, Benny, or are you too tired?" The warden asked.

The little crystal creature stood up from my lap with as much care as she could so her iridescent quills would not pierce through my dress again.

"No go. Benny sleep," She looked back up at me and what looked like a scowl pinched her little face. "No black hair. Red. Black. Not black hair. Pretty red hair."

If I had not spent my life talking to ghostly owls and dealing with being told cryptic things, what she had said would've made no sense to me.

Taking my hair in my hands, I realized that it was no longer Ire's black. Somewhere in the swill and the drowning, my mask had come apart.

Small panic joining my sadness, I looked all around to make sure that Alexei had not seen as I brought Ire back to my surface. I darkened my hair, my eyes, and muted my features, Benny frowning at the sudden changes.

She argued and clawed at my hands with her cold paws. "Mama no hide. Pretty green eyes. Pretty red hair. Black. No hide."

I did not know what to say. I hated that I was making her unhappy, but there was nothing I could do.

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As she pawed at my hand, Benny began to glow. It was not the same sparkle or glimmer that happened when the sun hit her because she was standing in the shadow that was being cast off me.

It came from within her. The brighter it grew the slower her pawing became.

"Say goodnight, Benny." The warden said as he came and picked her up off the ground.

"Goodnight, Benny." She yawned.

"Goodnight, Benny." I said quietly, beginning to understand what I was seeing.

Iridescent light, just like my mother's aura, formed all around the little crystal creature as the warden placed her on the mound beside me.

"If you're holding her while she changes, her egg will form right around you and you'll have to break out. She would not be very happy." He chuckled.

I sniffled, feeling like crying, but being unable to produce tears. "Is she going to forget me? You said when she learns too much, she goes into her egg and forgets everything."

"Maybe," He shrugged and sighed, Benny's brilliant light shining in his eyes. "But maybe not, she liked you a whole lot. Only Hexis knows, but I have a feeling she won't. We'll see you next time you come here."

Benny's egg grew up and around her like sheets of pearlescent ice and closed her off from the air it smelled of sea salt.

Just like her shell, my sadness grew around me.

I had to tell him the truth. After everything he had done for me, I had to let the warden down.

"Durath? Can you watch her until I can come back for her?" The warden called out to the massive sphinx that sat a small ways away from us.

It stood, its face silently shifting from the lion to the eagle.

"SHE WILL BE SAFE WITH ME, MORTWYN." The eagle answered.

"And can you help us up the cliff? It will save us a lot of time." The warden continued.

The man nodded and smiled. "Of course, but it will cost."

"Please, No. I can't," I buried my face in my hands. "I can't listen to any more riddles."

"You have no say in what you do or do not listen to, girl. This is my beach." The lion growled at me.

"THERE WILL BE NO RIDDLES." The eagle argued against the lion.

"The creature that returned with you from the drowning cave, what was its name? Answer me this and I will help you up the cliff." The man face said softly.

The warden helped me to my feet and help me collect Anna's gifts. As weak as I was, it was almost too much for me to hold, but his steady hand on my back kept me stable.

"Its name is Deebee," the warden answered for me. "And you aren't to bother it until I speak to it again, understand?"

The lion did not understand. "I will salt it like the shell-less snail it is for entering my cave without permission."

Benny might forget me.

I hope the lion did.

The eagle returned and the warden led me over to it. We climbed atop its paw like Benny had earlier, and it lifted us into the sky, as if the warden and I weighed nothing at all. Normally, it would've taken my breath away or sent my legs into fearful shaking, but I held on to the bearded man next to me the whole way up, and it did not feel so bad.

Very carefully, he helped me off the paw and onto the hill of windswept grass that had been high above us only moments before.

"THERE WILL BE NO SALT. GOODBYE WARDEN AND FRIEND OF WARDEN." The eagle said in its stony voice before disappearing back below the cliff and leaving the warden and I alone.

Only, we weren't alone.

A familiar familiar stood a hand's breadth above the grass, combing over his black and gray fur while he waited.

"Hello, Taloo. You got here fast," The warden chuckled as he took us to the black masked beast. He looked down and gave me a wink. "I thought you had done enough for one day. Taloo is gonna carry you back."

At the warden's words, the big raccoon rolled forward and scooped me with his clawed fingers and placed me onto his back. "Taloo carry. You rest."

All the rings of his big bushy tail pressed against my back and it felt like the softest pillows I had ever felt.

It was nice, but I was not nearly as happy as should have been, and the warden noticed.

"Something on your mind, Ire?" He asked, helping sort out all of the gifts that should have been in the bag I had stupidly left on my bed roll.

"I'm just tired," I tried to lie, but then the truth came flooding out of me like the seawater high tide had brought into the cave. "I am tired, but that isn't what's wrong. I never knew my father, but being with you today has felt like what I imagine it would feel like."

I was too worn, too ragged, to care about how embarrassing what I was saying was.

I continued. " I want to do what you do. I want to be like you, but I can't. I'm too much of a coward. I'm too dumb."

I kept my eyes cast down at Taloo's fur. I could not look at the warden while I told him what I had to tell. It would only make it harder for me to tell the truth.

"I hurt Rat. I almost killed Bru. All of us are lucky I didn't do anything worse. I ruin everything. I know you haven't known me long enough to know that, but it's true."

Of all the possible ways the warden could have responded, I did not expect him to laugh. Even when I heard the sound, I did not expect it to go on quite so long or be quite so loud.

"You're not dumb, Ire," He wheezed as he tried to catch his breath. "You're not a coward, and you haven't ruined anything. Look at me."

I did.

He continued. "You're young. Younger than any of the other new moons if I had to guess, and they are all overgrown babies. Things take time, I had lived an entirely different life before I came here. The way you are with all the familiars, getting Deebee to talk and show himself, you're gonna be far better at this than I have ever been. It's just gonna take a little while."

I sniffled and wiped the nonexistent tears from my eyes out of habit alone. "Promise?"

He took my pinky and shook it. "I'm so sure of it, that I would offer you a blood pact if I had a blade."

I didn't like the idea of cutting open my palm, and the knowledge of how much his words had affected me gave me worry, but I was too tired to think about either for long.

"So, I'm not ready to be the warden yet. I need to be less young than I am now. How will I know when?" I asked him as I brushed through Taloo's fur with my hands.

"Unless Hexis decides to intervene and change my mind, it really doesn't matter. When you're ready, you're welcome." He gave me a reassuring smile and I made him promise again.

The taller peak of Silkcradle looming over us with its cloud of white fog, I felt my sadness begin to fade in full.

"Looks like Taloo isn't the only one that has come to meet us." The warden said after an easy moment of quiet, pointing at the shape that had appeared at the top of a far hill.

The absence of my sorrow was immediately replaced with fear. "We can't tell him. We can't tell him anything."

The warden handed me another burner and I dried it for him like I had the first two. "It doesn't work like that. We'll tell him the truth, all of it, and it's up to him if I've broken our pact or not."

"But I am fine," I whispered, remembering just how good my white haired guard's hearing was. "There isn't a scratch on me."

"Because you've been healed. Your leg, the scrapes on your arms, you got hurt, Ire. You almost drowned. I did not keep my word. Don't worry too much, if he decides that I must die, I doubt he would do it in front of you." The warden said with not nearly enough emotion in his voice.

We were silent for the rest of the time it took for us to meet Alexei on the grassy hill.

When we did, with his hands resting lazily on the ends of his swords, my guard nodded and focused his one white eye on the man standing next to me.

"Warden. How was it?" Alexei asked.

I couldn't let something happen to the warden because of me. Doing nothing would have been like laying down in Rhiannon's pyre to take a nap.

So, I did what the warden was unwilling to do for himself.

I lied.

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