"I don't like zym," Dk'brr said, draining charge from the last few potatoes in his bowl.

"Tchk'tk isn't a bad sort," the Brrk'zk replied. "Ze just needs to learn zyr place. This isn't the Southlands. We do things differently here." The Brrk'zk reached into the pit and grabbed a leg of the same something T'zz had picked up and then jabbed his stinger in and sucked out its Charge.

By and by, Lark spoke up, asking a question that—in hindsight—she probably shouldn't have asked; cultural sensitivity and all that.

"Uh… so, pardon my language," Lark said, "but… where are all the ladies? So far, this place is one never-ending sausage fest⁠."

I didn't know if the D'zd had the ability to blush, but, I'll be darned if that question didn't make me feel like I was blushing from the tips of my antennae to my bident toes.

The Brrk'zk Szr't't was similarly afflicted. He lowered his abdomen, confused and off-put. "Lady?"

"Yeah," Lark said. "Y'know, women? The fairer sex? That whole thing?"

"Please stop," Nina said. She narrowed her flower and covered the rest of the opening with all four of her hands.

"I'm sorry," the Brrk'zk said, "but you'll have to explain. I've no clue what you're shining about."

"Well, Subcommander Dk'brr," Lark said, "he's your son, right?"

"Define 'he' and 'son'," the Brrk'zk said.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me. "Do your people not have a concept of biological sex? Or sociological gender?"

"Considering I don't understand what you're saying," Brrk'zk Szr't't said, stiffening his (its?) posture, "I believe we don't."

"Would it be inappropriate if I discussed biological reproduction over dinner?" I asked, in a whisper.

"No," T'zz said, "but if you talk about it like that, people will think you're magnetized, or something."

"I assume 'magnetized' means 'crazy' in this context?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't it?" T'zz replied.

"Fun fact," I said, "on our world, ammonia—which is our word for what you call 'water'—on our world, it's a gas, like air."

"Go easy on them, T'zz," the Brrk'zk said, "they are not from our world."

"Clearly," T'zz replied. He glanced at me.

Rzt'zk spoke up. "You were saying, Zhn'nt?⁠"

"On our world," I said, "most animals come in two sexes, male and female."

From the way Nina's head was hanging downward at an increasingly steep angle, it was pretty clear she wasn't exactly comfortable with this conversation topic. She doubled-down on her meal, trying to lose herself in the alien experience.

"What purpose do these sexes serve?" the Brrk'zk asked.

"In order to reproduce," I explained, "males have to copulate with females. Neither male-male nor female-female pairings produce offspring."

"Well, we have nothing like that," the Rzt'zk asked. "Any two D'zd can do the deed and produce offspring."

"That would make you epicenes⁠," I said. "Many of our world's plants are like that." Another thought occurred to me. "Huh, so… what pronouns do you use?"

"Ze, zym, zyr," T'zz said.

"Wait," Lark asked, leaning in, "if you're like plants, does that mean you can make kids with yourself?"

Suddenly, the entire room fell silent. Even the yeomen feasting on the ceiling stopped, ending the drizzle of pieces and fluids. Everyone stared at Lark.

"What?" She looked around nervously. "What did I say?"

The Brrk'zk tapped zyr lower pair of arms on the tabletop. "What you just said is taboo. If you were not Messengers, we would have had to put you in prison on charges of indecency and sedition."

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

It was at this point that Nina decided to speak up. "Dr. Howle, I think you might want to change the topic. Again."

"Excellent suggestion." I thought for a moment. "Do you mind if I ask about the statue?" I said. "The one with the wings. What's up with that?"

"The Winged Savior, EUe," Brrk'zk Szr't't said. "What about it?"

"EUe?!" I couldn't help expressing my surprise.

That was the twEfE the Treefathers had told us to try to contact. If any of the hummingbird-people would be amenable to reason and compromise—least of all with the fungus—it would be him.

"This world is not our true home," the Brrk'zk explained, "it is merely a likeness."

"Yes," I said, "Dk'brr told us about how you came to reside in this Archive," I said. "The Vyx rescued you."

"It was hardly just the Vyx!" the Brrk'zk said. "The twEfE came as well, and several other Vyxit peoples. Mighty EUe led the rescue."

"Is that all?" Lark asked.

"Hardly! At first, the D'zd lived in this New World in relative peace, but then one day, a terrible secret came to light." The Brrk'zk's flower drooped dejectedly.

"What happened?" Nina asked.

"In the last days of our Old World, the Northlanders—the Vvz'zsh, damn them—betrayed the Southland." The Brrk'zk's stinger tail and abdomen drooped as well.

I noticed quite a few D'zd around the room swear quietly, like lights glowing from underneath forts of blankets from after bedtime.

"What did they do?" I asked.

"Only a tiny fraction of those who could have been saved were rescued. In the final days of the Old World, the Vvz'zsh slaughtered us by the thousands—tens of thousands; hundreds of thousands. So many Southlanders could have been rescued, had the Vvz'zsh not killed them before they got the chance."

"Why would they do that?" Nina asked, rightly horrified.

"Why does anyone commit evil?" Brrk'zk Szr't't said. "Fear. Hate. Greed. Many Vvz'zsh had already been Archived, so they slew Southlanders in the hopes of ensuring their own kind would be the majority here in the Archive."

"According to the legends," Dk'brr said, "wars were commonplace in the Old World. The Vvz'zsh who massacred the Southlanders in those last moments wanted revenge, and they got it. They sacrificed themselves to do it, stopping anyone else from being Archived." Dk'brr cast the shriveled electro-potatoes into the dining pit, bowl included.

Apparently, it was biodegradable.

"At first, none of the Archived D'zd—our ancestors—knew what had happened," Dk'brr continued. "Ironically enough, the common loss had been enough to get us to set our differences aside. But then, somehow, light of the Northlanders' betrayal reached our New World."

"It nearly brought back the old cycles of hatred," the Brrk'zk said, "and it would have, had not noble EUe intervened and brokered peace."

"It sounds like EUe is an incredible person," I said.

"Yes," the Brrk'zk replied. "The storystones at Dz'zrt'zt tell us as much. Under EUe's stewardship, the Vyx and the Winged Saviors rescued our people from certain destruction not once, but twice, and for that, we owe them our eternal gratitude. If ever they asked for our aid, we would give it, and proudly. For us, there can be no higher honor than serving our saviors, and it is precisely because of that that we owe it to our forebears to exterminate the evil that destroyed them in the Old World. We cannot let our saviors' sacrifices be for nothing."

Okay, so that was definitely getting filed in the "reasons to worry about the D'zd" column.

The Treefathers had made their own neutral position quite clear. However it seemed the D'zd were anything but.

"Have they ever asked for aid?" Nina said.

"As far as I know," the Brrk'zk said, "only once."

"What for?" I said.

"The Imprisoned Ones," ze said, gravely.

Rzt'zk sat up in zyr seat. "I thought the Vvz'ts'ts Krr't (Voovz'tsit'tsit Keret) were only a legend."

That… was definitely a mouthful. (Well… flower-ful.) I wasn't even going to try to pronounce it.

"No," Brrk'zk Szr't't replied, "they are as real of a part of history as any other."

"Please go on," I said. "This seems very important."

The Brrk'zk crossed zyr arms around the front of zyr recliner. "The Krr't were an ancient faction of the Vvz'zsh, famed for their cruelty as much as for their might. As the storystones sing, the plan to betray the Southlanders hatched in their diseased minds. Their hate would have destroyed the New World as well if EUe had not come to broker peace. But…"

The Brrk'zk's body language turned morose. Everything drooped: zyr limbs, zyr stinger and abdomen, zyr flowing clothes and blooming sleeves. All around us, dinner guests turned crestfallen. Even T'zz sass petered out.

Szr't't continued: "In bringing peace to the D'zd for the second time, EUe paid the ultimate price. So great was the Krr't's hate that they joined forces with the Vyxit traitors and killed our Savior."

Ripples of sad murmurs glowed all across the feasting hall.

"Vyxit traitors?" I asked.

"Under EUe's leadership," Dk'brr said, "the Vyx discovered a powerful weapon they could use against the Blight."

Powerful weapon? I thought. Now ze had my absolute attention.

"The traitors were a group of Vyxit that sought to use the weapon to enslave us all."

"Would the weapon happen to be called the Lodestars?" I asked.

Dk'brr flicked zyr abdomen in approval. "Why yes, yes it would.

Jackpot.

I nodded profusely. "Please, go on. Don't let me interrupt. What happened next?"

"As Dk'brr said," Szr't't continued, "the traitors tried to seize control of the Lodestars and use their power to rule the fleet by force. EUe stood against them, saving us for a third time. However," the Brrk'zk's flower drooped, "although EUe stopped the traitors from stealing the weapon, the Krr't mounted a cowardly attack. In secret, they gathered, and in secret, they struck, murdering zym in cold blood."

"Even I know what happens next," Rzt'zk said. "With our Savior dead, the Vyxit fell into civil war." Ze thumped a hand on zyr chest. "The D'zd were called to battle, and we answered that call. Some of the traitors fled to the archives. We stamped them out to the last."

"But while the traitors were killed," Szr't't said, "the Krr't were not so easily defeated."

"I imagine you're about to tell us why," I said.

"Yes," the Brrk'zk replied. "The Vyx made this world for us out of memories and dreams. Though we might seem to be creatures of flesh and blood, in truth, we are spirits—all of us, the Krr't included—and that makes us more difficult to kill than we would be, otherwise. The Krr't were too powerful to be destroyed. Instead, with our help, the Vyx were able to seal them away. A prison was built for them, and sealed with a sacred key. After the war, the T'dzd'ch Dominion was created, not only to lead the D'zd forward into a new age, but to guard the key to the Krr't's prison, so that they might never pose a threat to anyone ever again. This is our people's honor and duty."

I was right: this was important! I just wished it didn't make me feel like crud.

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