So, yeah, whale-wyrms were a thing.

With that realization in hand, I made a point of keeping Pel and the kids away from the water from then on. Pel pulled the car up to the mouth of one of the caves. The low tide had laid the rocks and crevices bare, exposing the mats of fungus that now grew in place of the usual kelp and algae. There was a spot just after a good twelve-foot vertical drop where the cave opened up to the water; I kept my eyes on it, in case &alon tried to pull any stunts with the fungal creatures ambling around at the base of the drop.

At the moment, the creatures—half-plant, half-fivearm—were waving their branching arms through the spray. But, knowing &alon, there was always the possibility that they could turn on us at a moment's notice.

I lurked in the shadow of the cave's entrance, while Pel and the kids sat in the car, a couple feet away, their legs dangling over the edge of the open doors. Though I was still a bit hungry, the weakness and exhaustion I'd felt had dissipated. Before we did anything else, I whipped up my fishbowl forcefield again.

I didn't want this conversation to be fatal.

"I think my connection to &alon has grown," I said.

Pel looked up at me. "What do you mean?"

"I feel… power flowing through me." I looked down at my arms and flexed my fingers. "It's like I'm picking it up over a wireless signal. It's filling in the power I'm currently expending to maintain the fishbowl."

"The fishbowl?" Rayph asked.

I traced my claws along the surface of the invisible forcefield around my head.

"It's a forcefield I made to keep out the spores."

We'd been talking about how I felt, and if I still felt okay.

"I mean, I guess it depends on your definition of 'okay'," I'd said.

"Daddy?" Rayph asked.

"Yeah?"

"You look really cool."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks. I… I just wish I felt that, too."

Even before the 12-foot drop, the cave sloped down rather steeply, leaving a stretch of rock I could scrabble my underbelly against for purchase. I propped myself up with my arms, pushing against the sand, which left my head resting a smidge higher than the roof of my car.

"Before," I explained, "at least I thought I was making a positive difference. Yes, I might have been losing my humanity, but it was in exchange for a great responsibility." I shook my head. "But it was all a lie. Now, I don't know if I'll ever be okay with what I've become. The wyrms are part of the fungus. Part of &alon. I took an oath to do no harm, but look at me now. I'm a death-bringer. I can destroy a world just by breathing."

Lights flashed beyond the bluffs. The wind had picked up, which countered some—though not all—of the screams of spaceships and the roars of the wyrms from the battles playing out all over the world.

The conflict seemed to be moving away from us, heading further inland.

I hoped that trend wouldn't reverse itself anytime soon.

There was a long silence.

"How long are we going to wait here?" Pel asked. She let out a terrible cough.

She wasn't doing well. She wasn't doing well at all. &alon's hyphae had crawled up the skin of her neck. Her eyes were bloodshot and her breathing was labored, and I knew it would only get worse.

"There's something I need to tell you," I said.

I'd made up my mind. I couldn't keep the truth from them. I wouldn't. A lie by omission was still a lie, and I was done with lying.

"And… I need your help." I looked them over one by one. "All of you."

"What is it, Gen?" Pel asked.

"It's gonna sound like I'm crazy."

Jules snorted. "Dad, it can't get any crazier than this." She gestured at me and then at our surroundings.

"If I had a groat for every time I said or thought that over the past week, I'd have quite a nice nest-egg to fall back on." I managed to smirk, and then sighed, filling my fishbowl with spores.

I looked Pel in the eyes and nodded. "Pel, this is going to be hardest for you. It certainly took a bite out of me."

Worry widened her eyes.

I spoke softly. "I heard the words of God, Pel."

She shook her head. "What?"

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That didn't surprise me.

"The Hallowed Beast. He—"

"—He?" Pel asked.

"Kléothag," I said. "The Hallowed Beast's name is Kléothag."

Pel clutched her hand at her chest, grasping the icon of the Angel she wore around her neck. Her body stiffened as she drew in a sharp, wheezy breath.

"Kl—…" But she couldn't bring herself to say any more.

She was the very definition of "at a loss for words".

And so, I told them. I shared Kléothag's message with them. I informed them of His death, His burial, and His warning.

I told them about the multiplicity of worlds, and Tachyon Ooüm's request.

I told them &alon wanted to use Kléothag's power to spread herself to more worlds than ever before.

"What's In'dwen'el?" Rayph asked.

"All I know is that it's some place we need to go, to warn the other Tachyonim."

Pel covered her hand with her mouth. Even Jules was shocked, and my daughter was the most jaded person I knew who wasn't named Margaret.

"Pel… the Angel has a name, Pel," I said. "Azon."

"A-zon?" she stuttered.

"He's gone, too." My voice's choir broke.

Pel shook her head. She cried. "No, Genneth. Please. Don't… don't say that. Don't—"

"—There's more. The Sword… it's here." I looked up at the sky. "It's still in our world, and…" I looked her in the eyes. "…I know where it is."

Pel's eyes twinkled. Her lips curled over her open mouth. She wheezed. Gasped. "W-What…?"

I nodded.

"After Dr. Horosha told me about it, my plan was to retrieve the Sword. I was expecting &alon to come and take us away to safety, and saw that as the perfect opportunity to fulfill Ooüm's request to bring the Sword back to His people. Of course, at the time, I still thought that &alon was the Moonlight Queen, and was trying to fight the fungus."

"Maybe you could still do that," Jules said. "If the Sword can be used to create portals to other worlds, you could leave and go to In'dwen'el yourself. Dad: you do know how to use the damn thing, don't you?"

"Yes, Suisei's memories contain all the instructions I'll need."

"Then why don't you do that?" Pel asked.

"Oh, lots of reasons," I said, shaking my head sardonically. "For one, it's not just me in here. I've got spirits in my care. I mean, I guess I could go back and pass them off to Brand or Merritt, or some other wyrm that I trust—"

Pel blinked her eyes.

"—Mrs. Elbock is a wyrm?" Rayph asked.

"Yes."

"That's so cool…" he added, in a whisper.

"Why don't you do what you just said, Dad? Pass off the spirits."

"Even you?" I asked.

"Merritt's no stranger to us, honey," Pel said.

I stayed quiet for a moment.

Pel looked at me in silence for a long time. Eventually, she spoke. "Gen: what do you want from us? Stop beating around the bush."

"Do you believe me?" I asked, in a soft voice.

"How could I not?"

And the kids nodded along with her.

"Thank you," I said. I sighed again, letting out a little puff of spores.

"Is that all?" Pel asked.

"No." I looked up at the hills, over the bluffs. "What about &alon?"

"Can you use the Sword to kick mushroom butt?" Rayph asked.

"I don't know. But that's hardly my only concern. Even if I entrust you to Merritt or Brand, leaving this world on my own would mean allowing &alon to get hold of Kléothag's power, and spread her contagion like never before."

"Then stay," Jules said. "And fight!" She thrusted her fist into the air.

"But there's nothing I can do to fight her. Even now, I can feel her trying to push my buttons. Jules, I've seen what &alon can do. If I disobey, she'll just turn me into a tree, or worse, make me silver-eyed, and then I'll be nothing more than her puppet, to do with as she wishes."

"Wait," Jules said, "you mean those wyrm-headed trees were…?"

I nodded. "And, if I stay, fighting her or not, what happens if she gets her hands on the Sword? What then?"

Pel cleared her throat, though it was a struggle. "You wanna know what I think?"

I nodded.

"Tell that little bitch to go to Hell." She trembled, puckering with rage. "She…"

I let out a soft chuckle. "I definitely told her off. She knows she's hurt me, though I don't know if she understands the depths of what that means."

"Why not?" Rayph asked.

"She doesn't see how what she's doing is wrong."

"Did you ask her to stop?" he said, making a quiet suggestion.

I lowered my head in shame. "Yes. It made no difference."

"But did you try again?" he asked.

"You're not the first person to suggest that."

"It's not like you to give up so easily," Pel said.

I couldn't lie: I really, really didn't want to talk to &alon again, preferably ever.

But Pel went and gave me that, "Why are you sneaking into the kitchen to get an ice-cream sandwich at three in the morning" look of hers.

How could I say no to that?

For a third time, I sighed.

"I can't say no to you," I said.

"You're welcome," she said.

There was an awkward pause.

"Is there something we need to do?" Jules asked.

I almost laughed. "No, sweetheart." I shook my head. "I just need to close my eyes for a minute." Technically, I didn't even need to do that, but I felt my family would feel less disturbed by what I had become if I acted as if I did.

So, I closed my eyes, and I mean really closed them. I didn't pull myself into my Main Menu or any other mind-world. I recoupled all my spare selves until it was just me in my body, immersed in the darkness that lies behind all closed eyes.

Normally, a person was alone in that darkness, with nothing but themselves to accompany them (voices in one's head notwithstanding). But for me, that darkness was alive.

It was &alon.

My flesh was her flesh, in that way, she would be with me, always. This body she'd given me wasn't mine, not really. It was merely on loan, a house for my mind and the people now stored inside it. I was a boat, just like Merritt had said of herself, the day this all began, and &alon had chosen to me serve as the captain. If she so desired, she could end my captaincy at any time and turn me silver-eyed. Short of forcing me to change my mind, she could have done nearly anything she wanted with me, and she knew it, I could feel that she knew it.

&alon warmed up and lightened; I felt her emotions as if they were my own. Just the fact that I was thinking about her had her feeling elated. I was, after all, about to give her the very attention she so desperately craved; the same attention I'd sworn to never give her ever again.

You can come out now, &alon, I thought-said.

She didn't hesitate. Her invisible hand reached out and ripped my soul out of the core of my being and dragged me somewhere else. Wherever it was, I still had feeling and form, much like in my mind-worlds. I could even continue to feel my physical body, though the connection was far more tenuous than ever before.

I was human again, not that I could easily see it, or anything else, for that matter. I stood in an almost perfect darkness. My loafers clip-clopping on water-filmed stone as I pattered about.

Then a brightness came before me, brilliant and blue. I brought my arm to my face, pressing my coat's sleeve against my lightly bearded cheeks. Soon, I adjusted to the light, and lowered my arm.

"&alon…"

We were in an inversion of my Main Menu: night, instead of day. The dome of the sky overhead was pinpricked with starry beauty. Dusk grasped at the horizon with its umber fingers. &alon stood at the center of it all, not that far from me. She pulsed with pale light, like a tamed bonfire. Her cerulean wings curled behind her in fiery repose.

In my human form, I was nearly twice as tall as she was. Still, as we stared at one another, it was hard for me not to shrink in her presence. I was intimately familiar with the melancholy weighing down on her face, only this time, the innocent, pleading pain was something far sterner.

I knew a look of disappointment when I saw one.

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