"Are you alright?" I asked them.

My companions nodded.

"I think so," Merritt said. She bent her neck like a crane as she looked herself over. "Other than the color change, I don't believe anything else is different from before."

Brand scratched the underside of his snout in contemplation, as if it was a human chin. "I wonder what it could mean…?"

"I don't know, and I don't want to know." Extending my hand, I lazily ran my claws up and down the pavement, watching the sparks and bits of crumbling stone. I sighed. "I still can't believe she actually thought I wanted to know any of that. Fricassee me! Where did I go wrong? Or was I wrong from the very beginning, from my very first day of life."

I felt my spirits stir.

It made perfect sense that my tenants would have an axe to grind with me. If our positions were reversed, I would, too.

They weren't refugees anymore. They were hostages, and they always had been.

I didn't bother holding them at bay.

Ileene's spirit drifted out of my body and came to a stop, floating beside me. Several others followed suit.

Unfortunately, Heggy wouldn't be joining us.

Merritt trained her gaze on Ileene's spirit. "Is that…?"

Brand nodded. "That's Ileene Plotsky," he said. "She was one of Genneth's first ghosts."

Brand pointed my spirits out to Merritt one by one.

"She didn't know, not until the last moment," Ileene said. "&alon, I mean. And," she nodded solemnly, "neither did you."

"She had amnesia because she was separate from her greater self," I said. "That's probably why I took a liking to her. She'd been… distilled. All her evil bits were still waiting to be downloaded," I shook my head, "not that absolves either of us of our sins."

"Why don't you work with her?" Lark said, still rocking that red dress. "It's not like things can get any worse, now, right?"

"I'm not upset that she didn't remember the truth until it was too late," I said. "Well, I mean, I am, but… at least I have the wherewithal to know I shouldn't be. I am still a neuropsychiatrist. The first rule of clinical psychiatry is 'don't blame the patient for the disease'. &alon had amnesia. I'd burn my medical license before letting myself blame an amnesiac for not remembering what they needed to remember, when they needed it."

I thought back to my exchange with &alon. I was only a couple feet away from the tips of the Verune tree's outermost branches, yet it felt like there was an ocean between me and it. &alon's hopes and desperation were being syndicated in every corner of my mind, vivid and perfect. Her sorrow, her rage, her disbelief, her loneliness, her existential despair, her yearning, her fear, her earnestness, and her deep longing for justice. The world didn't make sense to her. It was cruel and capricious, and she didn't understand, but she wanted to, just like the rest of us.

But, out of all of those emotions, the one that truly mattered—the one that needed to be there… wasn't.

Everyone saw the replay along with me. I must have been broadcasting through my subliminal murmurings.

"She has no remorse. When I called her a killer, she didn't get upset because she didn't want to be a killer. No, she got upset because she knew it meant I wasn't going to keep giving her the positive attention she yearned for. She wasn't upset at what she'd done, or even at how upset it made me, but rather that I had joined the rest of the multiverse in not putting up with her bullshit."

"You were different, Genneth," Suisei said. He wore the same white medical coat he'd been wearing when I'd first met him, back in that conference room. "None of the transformees were able to interact with &alon the way you could. That has to be significant."

"Oh yeah, it probably is," I said, with a flick of my hand, "but, at this point, who cares? Why does it matter? What difference would it make? All this time, I was aiding the very disease I was fighting against."

I shuddered as a couple more epiphanies bombarded me. "Angel's breath," I muttered, "the horrors of the fungus, and its theft of our memories, our very souls… that was all &alon. That is &alon's 'salvation'. It's just like you said, Suisei, only worse than either of us could have ever imagined. She sucked the consciousness out of her victims in preparation for uploaded into her wyrms."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"What about the demons?" Ileene asked. "Where did they come from? Were they even there?"

"Maybe &alon made them to sway you and earn your sympathy?" Brand suggested.

I snorted. "Brand, she couldn't do something like that even if she tried. I mean, for Angel's sake, the most manipulative thing she's ever done is cutely beg me for extra chocolate chip cookies until I give in."

"But then where did they come from?" Ileene asked. "You saw what happened to me! I was nearly possessed!" She crossed her arms. "And don't try to tell me it was all in my head. I felt it happening to me, Dr. Howle; you did, too!"

I blinked in astonishment.

"By the Godhead…" I muttered.

"What is it?" Merritt asked.

The feeling of realization made post-coital clarity seem murky by comparison.

"It was me," I said."All this time, it was me." I pointed at the wyrms in my company. "Fudge, that probably even explains your color-change."

"I don't understand," Ileene replied.

"It's the power of the mind," I said. "The demons hounding me were just my own fears. I'm obsessed with theology, moral philosophy, eschatology, and the ins and outs of salvation. It's no wonder I haven't been seeing any demons lately, or that few, if any, of the self-help group's transformees saw anything like the 'demons' I'd encountered. It was just my imagination acting out of control. And, now that I have a better handle on it… the demons are gone."

"What about the creature that Mr. Isafobe became?" Brand asked.

Suisei sighed. "Perhaps his consciousness had been uploaded improperly, like Dr. Lokanok's?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if Jonan's cockamamie treatment ideas were responsible," I muttered.

Merritt raised a hand to her snout. "Wait? Ani? Oh no, not Ani! Say it isn't so, Genneth!"

I hung my head in dejection.

"Beast and Queen, Genneth," Brand said, "I'm so sorry."

I shook my head. "It's not me that deserves the apology. Angel's mercy, if Jonan hears about this…"

There was a long, ugly pause.

Kurt slithered forward, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry to change the topic, but… how does all of this explain our color change?" he asked. "I'm scared something else is gonna go wrong!"

"It's alright," I said. "It's not your fault, Kurt. This is &alon's doing." I nodded. "As for the wyrms…" I turned to Brand. "All the wyrms in Lantor were my color, weren't they, Brand?"

Dr. Nowston nodded.

"Lantor?" Merritt asked.

"It's a long story. The point is… I'm pretty sure what we saw was some kind of flashback or memory. Considering where we are now, I think my color is the default wyrm color."

"Okay, but then why did ours change?" Kurt said.

"Because it's what I believed to be true."

"What?"

"Think about it: I believed that &alon was using the wyrms to fight against the fungus, preserving our individuality in the process. She probably picked up on that subliminally and it went back to influence her greater self to effect the change. I saw it because it was literally what I wanted to see, just like with the demons."

I smiled at the absurdity of it all.

"Shit…" Kurt said.

I groaned. "I've been such an idiot! All this time, I've been chasing ghosts—figuratively and literally. Do I even need to be a Keeper of Paradise, or is that just another one of my demented, groundless conclusions?"

"Don't conflate warmth with weakness, Genneth, Yuta said. You are not weak."

"If weakness is failing to make one's will reality, then I am terribly weak, Yuta. Terribly." I sighed out spores. "I'm done. I'm done with this. I'm done playing doctor." I glanced at Dr. Horosha. "It's like I said, Suisei, I'm tired." I looked down at my hands. "I'm no longer the person I once was, and I don't have enough heart left to keep pretending otherwise. I should have quit while I was ahead."

Suisei gave the onlooking wyrms a wary glance, and then turned back to face me. "Genneth, what about Kléothag and Tachyon Ooüm? They gave us a mission!"

"You told me about Kléothag," Merritt said. "I've already shared that news with the others. But who is this Ooüm fellow?"

"One of the other Angels. Suisei met Him in the course of his journey to our world. Our Holy Angel's name is Azon, Tachyon Azon—and He's dead. He is dead, Ooüm is dead, Kléothag is dead." I shook my head. "At this point, I'd be surprised if there were any Angels left alive."

Merritt pressed her hands against her chest. "No… it can't be."

"But it is," I said. "They were killed at the hands of the Darkness otherwise known as &alon."

"But &alon just told us the Darkness is already here!" Kurt said.

"Yeah, and it's her!" I said. "Maybe it's cognitive dissonance or maybe it's just sheer stupidity, but she doesn't realize that she's the cause of all the destruction that follows her."

"Genneth," Brand said, "you told me &alon was beaten and bruised when you found her. So, clearly, something is out to get her."

I nodded. "Oh yeah," I said, "I can't possibly imagine why people might want to destroy the world-ending fungus!" I didn't usually do sarcasm, but I felt it was appropriate for this particular circumstance. I sighed out spores. "In all seriousness, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that something out there was chasing after her. I imagine they'd want revenge. I know I would. Heck, maybe that's what the 'Scary Shines' from Lantor were. Who knows?" I shrugged. "Knowing the way &alon sees the world, and the fact that her mind wasn't all there during most of the time we spent together, it's possible that she confused her memories of the destruction she caused with the Scary-Shinies' attacks against her. I don't know, and I'm finding it really hard to care."

"Why?" Merritt asked.

I bit my lip. "I'm tired of grasping at straws. I've had enough mysteries for one lifetime. I'm done taking &alon's words at face value." Raising my forepart, I unwound myself from my coil. "Now, I said, if you'll excuse me, I have other business to attend to."

Suisei looked at me, mouth agape. "But what about—"

"I can't stop her, Suisei. And, like she said," I gestured toward the Verune tree, "she's coming to get us. If you think you can fight her, you have my permission to go ahead and try. As far as I'm concerned, the game was rigged against us from the start."

"He's right, Dr. Horosha," Brand said, raising his snout to the sky. "I can feel it. She's close."

"It won't be much longer, now," I said.

"So what are you going to do?" Suisei asked.

"I'm gonna find my family, and I pray that they can forgive me."

The three wyrms parted as I slithered forward into the stillborn daybreak.

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