"Mr. Wade, I get the whole 'post-apocalyptic college dorm' aesthetic you're into with this apartment, really do, but, and I mean this in the most constructive way possible, I just climbed three flights of stairs that looked like they were last cleaned when I still had the nice office desk in Hell. I'm going to have a problem with this little arrangement of ours if I have to do this every single day."
The knock came at exactly 5 PM. Wade had opened his door and the rest was history.
"Oh, so that's what we're doing today, huh Zinny? Insulting each other." Wade asked, stepping back. "Completely fine with me Zinny. See, rent's cheaper when the elevator's perpetually broken, Zinny. And given the amount of food I saw you eat, Zinny, making you walk is my way to help you." His smile was the same one he gave particularly difficult customers. And technically there were three elevators, it just so happened to be the nearest one to his doorway that broke down three weeks prior. The other two were fine, mostly.
The butler flinched with each mention of his name. Then lifted both his hands as if placating a wild racoon.
"Okay-okay, hold your horses before we start a little war here. I admit I may be..." He waved a hand in a circle a bit, as if looking for the right word. "Slightly peeved at having to walk up stairs, Earth's spoiled me a bit with all your modern luxuries, can't be helped." He adjusted his silk tie, looking distinctly out of place among the hand-me-down Ikea furniture Wade surrounded himself with.
Those had been found and bought off craigslist with excellent discounts, Wade felt very proud of it all.
The demon circled the room like a realtor assessing a property's value on the other hand. He paused at the window, where Wade's lone succulent sat in its 'World's Okayest Employee' mug.
"You have a very... charming little space." Zin said, careful not to aggravate the mortal who could, and would, start getting violent with his vocabulary.
"Five hundred and forty-three square feet of pure independence." Wade said, arms folded over his chest. "Almost living the dream."
"And I take it you're hiding your drug dealings in there?" He pointed off to the red and white nook at the other end of the living room from the doorway. "Or possibly a cult gathering spot, shrine maybe? No?"
That was Ann's part of the room. And he hadn't stepped foot past her sliding shogi screen. The indoor triangular angled tarps afixed from the ceilings and sides of the room gave that entire spot the look of something closer to a high nobel's arabic tent, with a japanese twist to it. She'd made the most out of their one-bedroom situation. And she'd be back here soon. "No. And nobody's allowed in there." Wade flatly said. Half the reason he hadn't moved out of this apartment for a cheaper place to rent out, was that Ann's home was here.
Zin grinned. "Come now, don't be shy Mr. Wade. What's a few illicit substances between friends, right buddy? A home-made hookah lounge is downright innocent compared to the likes I've seen."
"You can look anywhere else you want in my house, but Ann's room is off limits to everyone."
"Fine, fine. I can respect that." The demon plucked the succulent from its mug perch, turning it over with a frown. "So, where's the light shows? The trophy wall? The setup that makes electricity bills cry? Not even a single anime figure anywhere, or any posters. Might have had the wrong expectations walking into your pad here. Or are you hiding all that in your personal room?"
"Haven't touched games in years." Wade snatched the plant back from Zin's grubby hands. "Why were you expecting gaming anyway? I'm not Play."
"Because her divine nuisance kept going on about you turning every pristine little game into your personal playground and making the devs cry in their sleep. Picking out the most random insane builds and making them work? Ring any bells?" Zin gave him a glance of both appreciation and calculation. "You had what, an entire youtube channel about that, twelve videos in total before - poof. No more uploads since two years ago."
Wade's jaw tightened at the thought. The demon wasn't wrong - he'd spent countless nights breaking games apart, finding out how things worked under the hood and how to abuse it all, making videos to share with people after. Probably some of the best times in his life. "Different life, different time." He finally said, moving to the kitchenette. "Coffee?"
"I almost never say no to coffee, but somehow I'd feel like I'd be robbing you if I asked for some. So, how'd it all come to a stop?"
Wade shrugged, putting on a kettle to boil water anyhow. He had some tea in a cupboard somewhere, and he could serve himself some of that and give the demon just hot water on his end. "Had other things to worry about. Like my parents running off when they couldn't keep paying their lifestyle, selling the family home, and tossing the debt to me and my sis. But you already knew that if you knew something as obscure as my youtube channel."
"Guilty as charged." The demon laughed, "Come on Mr. Wade, I'm a businessman, of course I do my research on who I work with. Only thing I got wrong was expecting something gaudy here." He opened up Wade's pantry without even asking for permission. "Oh-hoo, you got the top ramen at least, nothing compared to Play's hoard though... Don't think I'll ever see worse than hers."
"Her place looked clean from what I remember." Wade said. "Wired up right at least. No trash all over, and the wooden flooring looked to have been recently mopped too. She's at least not living like a garbage heap."
The demon stared at Wade. "What part of archdemon butler did you not get? Who do you think is the reason her lair is clean, stocked up with food and rotating out her latest special edition display stands? Me." The butler turned and threw his hands in the air. "If I vanished, that basement would be a trash heap in two seconds. Basically turns into one the moment I turn my back to it."
"So why do it?" Wade asked, waiting for the water to boil.
Zin sighed, a white gloved hand rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I'm an archdemon Mr. Wade. We don't walk the mortal realms without someone dragging us out." Then he lifted his neck up to expose his throat. A mark appeared as if on command, glowing bright red before vanishing away. "Binding contract. What she wants, is more like a magically binding command than a poorly worded request. You know she has seventeen different special editions of the same game? Seventeen. Different box art apparently makes it 'completely different' and therefore necessary. A sucker and her wallet are easily separated - except it's not hers of course, it's mine. 'Zinny, buy me discord nitro!' 'Zinny, I want an RTX seven fucking million TI.' 'Zinny, massage my feet.'" The butler mined throwing up, before stretching out his hand.
Fire lit from nowhere right on his palm, just above his white gloves. "See, casting up a quick fireball and destroying things is pretty simple. But would that I could just magically make things appear for free. Can't do that without money, the real magic in the world."
"So that's your ultimate goal? Get your freedom from being her butler?"
The demon stared back. "Of course it is. It's the ultimate goal of any demo- ahem. Archdemon since the dawn of time. Ambitious mortals summon us up and balance on a razor edge of getting what they want or getting their souls eaten, as how nature intended. It's only recently that the formulas' balance is now disgustingly in favor of mortals. No demon ever wants to find themselves back in hell, for obvious reasons."
"I thought it was invaded and you were all kicked out. How do you find yourself going back there?"
"That's the problem. Hell's got new landlords, but it's still hell. Our essence is anchored there, long story on why but I think just saying 'Demon, duh' is enough to get the picture. If we die on the mortal realm, we get dragged back to the infernal one and the only way back is getting summoned all over again. Used to be fine. Today though? If you die and reform in hell, you run and hide for as long as you can and take the first ticket out before the feral monsters find you, doesn't matter how stacked the terms of that ticket are. We're just as tasty to the Blackrot as you are."
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He closed all the pantry doors, done with the inspection, then turned back to Wade, giving a light cough into his glove. "But we're getting sidetracked here. So, magic. You do realize you could have just asked me to work with your friend Jason directly - teach that mortal magic and how to use it and have him use the healing ring on your sister and himself while you're working shifts or off to Azdrial? He's in a wheelchair, not rotting in a hospital bed, plenty of time for him to do anything he wants. Not much time for you to pick up a hobby like this one."
Wade nodded, taking the kettle off the stovetop. "I'd thought of that. At some point I'll have to show them the ring I got, so hiding the system or magic isn't something in the cards. Having you teach him would work. But I can die more than once, and he can't. I'd rather see firsthand how dangerous mana is before I give it to my best friend and see him get himself killed."
"Prudent." The demon said, "And yet I didn't get this far without knowing how to read between lines, there's some other angle you have here Mr. Wade. Fill me in?"
"I'd like to learn it myself, because magic." Come on, who would say no to that? "But there's something I want to test out with mana."
Zin finally settled into Wade's only chair, crossing his legs and somehow making the worn furniture look like a throne. "And that would be?"
"The way I see it, I've got a possible advantage with the System. An angle regular mages don't have."
The demon started laughing straightaway, "Stop me if you heard this one - A mortal and his ego walk into a bar…"
Wade waved him off, pouring a cup of hot water over his tea and then a cup of simple hot water in the demon's own. "I'm not sure if it'll pan out being something I can abuse or not, but I do know it's different. I have a stats screen and it does show me how much mana I have as a numerical value. And I remember reading the stat definition of intellect and vitality."
Intelligence - Attribute governing mental control of mana. Vitality - Attribute governing physical health, resilience, and resistance to mana.
The keypart here Wade was looking at was the last of that: Resistance to mana. And when he'd upped his vitality, both his health and his maximum mana had gone up by twenty five.
"Can't say I'd know yet." Zin said, "Last time Azdrial had anything like a System and stat points was never. But you are right that the number one reason people die from mana exposure is because you mortals never know where the limits actually are. And speaking of, before I hand over that rolled up invitation to a magical school of british wizards with far too much time on their hands, how's about you be a good little mortal and drag out that delectable mana potion you promised?"
Wade reached under the kitchen counter and brought out the leather satchel he'd bought from Play's store. It unfolded like an artist's palette, revealing various compartments lined with velvet. Glass vials nestled in the cushioned slots - one was yellow with a stopper, another looked like water with a mithril-colored pill inside, and four glowed an ethereal blue.
"Oh-hoo, there we go." Zin's professional demeanor cracked as his eyes locked onto the glowing vials. Before Wade could reach for one, the demon snatched the entire kit from his hands.
"Hey-"
"Trust me kid, you do not want to be the test subject here." He plucked out one of the blue vials with practiced ease. He yanked the cork out with his teeth, spat it across the room, and downed the entire contents in one smooth motion.
Wade watched, curious. This was the thing Play had told him the butler would trade anything for. And the demon was clearly desperate for it.
Zin closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and his shoulders relaxed. "Mmm. Not bad. Bit strong on the binding agent, but that's to be expected from a starter kit. They definitely went all out on the safety taste. Good solid consistency too, not going to split apart in your stomach. Very high quality Mr. Wade."
"Safety taste?" Wade asked. "You're saying the taste itself is a feature?"
"Think of it like a child lock. Probably more like a safety switch for a gun, on second thought. Details, we'll get to that in a bit. Everything in good time."
How was the taste of a potion supposed to act like a safety switch? Wade went to the coffee table, taking a seat on the carpet. "Is Play keeping you alive here?"
The demon laughed, "Let me ask a question right back - how did you know to offer this in the first place?"
He'd tried getting that out of him before, but this time Wade had several hours to think things through and was ready. "You answer first, I'll answer back."
"Deal. I've got a reserve of mana crystals that'll keep me going for a few years, demons collect them as a point of pride like you would high quality liquor bottles. I'm not tapping those unless I need to. Mana's rather potent as an energy source, we need a whole lot less to keep going than you might suspect. Play's a pest, but she's also a goddess. Concept turned to manifested power. And power can be turned into mana. Just clipped nails or a strand of hair is enough to keep me alive for a few months. Now, onto your side of the bargain."
"Luck." Wade said, and that was technically correct.
Zin stared back, then rolled his eyes. "The real trouble with gods, is that gods of fortune like Market exist who actually govern over luck. And you have that bloody luck stat as well. Did the system give you a notification or quest of some kind that helped you out?"
Wade smiled. "What are you offering for an answer on that one?"
Zin opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. "Nope. Not doing that bit, keep your secrets mortal."
"Selena used a mana crystal before, I saw her take it out to heal her hand. If you have some in reserve, can I see one?"
"Willing to trade a solid answer from my prior question for that?"
Wade shook his head. "I think the deal we had was general lessons in magic. Wouldn't mana crystals be a part of that?"
Zin took a breath, as if about to refute that answer when the mark on his neck flashed red for a moment. He stopped, then shrugged. "Well played. Fine, I'll put my bets on the System for now. As for your request, you really think that puny little pebble was a mana crystal? Mr. Wade, allow me to show you what a real mana crystal looks like."
The demon's throat undulated. His jaw unhinged like a snake's, and he reached two fingers in. Then pulled out what looked like a crystal the size of a small eraser. It glowed with a soft white light, similar to the potion he'd just consumed. The movements of his skin and jaws looked so bizzare Wade thought he was hallucinating for a moment. Or had imagined it all. It was one thing to know rationally Wade was speaking to a literal demon, but it was another to be so viscerally reminded of the fact. Wade managed not to flinch, but it was a close thing.
"And there we go. Eh? See? True premium top shelf quality only the best could afford." He held it out like a proud parent. It looked exactly like what he'd seen from Selena, only larger, more gem-like in the cutting, and filled with inner light. "It's unfortunate you don't know enough to admire the craftsmanship on display here. There's a long list of things to look out for on how to grade these beauties, but I can guarantee you any mage would be in awe right about now."
A gloved hand gave it a flick of a finger, and Wade could hear a ringing hum in the air from that. The demon nodded at that with a deeply satisfied smile, then laughed at Wade's current reaction to all this. "Oh please, don't look so revolted Mr. Wade. If you want to be a proper mage someday, you're going to be eating and throwing these up quite a bit."
Wade just stared back. "I'm going to be doing what?"
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