"Do you go to QUTD? I feel like I'd definitely remember seeing you if you did," Anika asked.

I feel myself blushing, and it makes me want to bury my face in the ground. Everything she says makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter. I'm crushing so hard for this girl.

"Uh, yes, sorry, I meant no. My friend goes there, but I don't," I stuttered.

I've literally slept with her, why does a freaking coffee date make me so nervous. The alcohol made this so much easier. Sober me doesn't have any game.

Lés Bean is a cozy Parisian café, offering authentic flavors that are pretty much gone now. The two female friends who opened it are refugees from Paris who want to preserve their culture in the only way they know how: by brewing delicious coffee. Anika suggested it as our first date, and I said yes before I could chicken out.

"You're cute when you're nervous," Anika said, her plump orange lips pressed together in a flirty smile.

Rather than try to figure out a response, I take another sip of my café crème. Anika said I'd like it, and she was right. It's tasty and warm, which I need on this freaking cold day.

"What about you, do you go to QUTD?" I asked, instantly regretting my question.

Oh my God. I'm an idiot. Obviously she goes there, you met her at the freaking party! How am I messing this up so badly? I want to die. I want to crawl into a hole and bury myself alive.

"Vivienne, relax," Anika said, putting her hand into mine.

My brain goes haywire at her touch, and now my face must be entirely red. She's so pretty. Her eyeshadow is a mix of green and pink that looks like butterfly wings. Anika is like a fairy princess from a story brought to life.

"Did I misjudge you? Given how that night went, I figured I couldn't possibly be the first girl you've been with, but am I?" Anika asked.

Memories of clumsy kisses in supply closets mix with nights of pleasure with past partners whose names I'll never remember. But not a single memory of going on a date or holding hands- intimacy without being intimate.

"This is the first date I've ever been on with a woman," I whispered.

"Oh. I assumed you had been out for a while, but I'm honored to be your first date."

"No, it's not that. I've been out since the day I realized I liked girls and not boys. I just haven't always had a stable lifestyle, so dates were never in the picture. It's only recently that my life turned around. Sorry, I don't know why I shared that," I said, wincing.

Nice job, Vivienne. Girls love first-date trauma dumping over coffee.

"I'm still honored to be your first, and I hope I can be your second as well. Maybe it'll be my turn to overshare." Anika laughed. "I'm glad that your life is on an upward trajectory. I'm a little curious about what happened. I won't lie; I'm pretty nosey."

"I owe it all to Nob-, my friend Eryk. Meeting him changed my life completely," I said, honestly.

Even if he's being a bastard right now. Why can't he see that we don't need her? She's more trouble than she's worth. Everything about Tuesday rubs me the wrong way. Her unstable personality, the way she gleefully murders people, all of it disgusts me. I trust Nobody. I know he has a plan, but does it really require her?

"Wow, I'm surprised. He didn't seem all that special from what I saw. No offense," Anika said frankly.

"Don't worry about it. He is special, and he is my best friend, so if you wanna date me, you're going to have to play nice."

"But I thought you liked it when I was naughty?" Anika smiled, batting her eyes.

I'd have steam blowing out of my ears if this were a cartoon. She's too good at making me flustered. Anika Joshi is confident in a way I struggle to be, and maybe that's why I'm so drawn to her. I nervously look around, but thankfully, none of the other tables are listening. Wait, what? All of the other customers are women, which I don't know how I missed that. Well, it's probably the woman in front of me's fault that I am oblivious to my surroundings.

"Is this a cafe for lesbians?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"What gave it away: the overtly sapphic color scheme, the fact that the baristas all have dyed hair and nose rings, or is it that all the artwork is abstract paintings of vaginas?" Anika giggled.

I look around the room, and the paintings I thought were abstract ovals, are in fact, vaginas. The warm oranges, dark shades of pink, and white arrows breaking up the colors across the room completely went over my head. Holy shit, this place is super gay.

"It completely went over my head. I've been too focused on you to see any of the other women here," I grinned.

Anika's warm brown skin changes as it's her turn to blush furiously. Now you know what it's like. Anika tries to avoid me by staring at her drink, but her cup is empty. Seeing her squirm under my gaze makes me think of the other night. But that won't be happening for a very long time. If I want this to work, it needs to go slower and be an actual relationship. No sex till the fifth date, or at least the third.

"It's not fun to be the one getting bullied, is it?" I asked, sticking my tongue out

Anika erupts into laughter, and it might be my new favorite sound. It's so contagious that I join her, and other people start staring at us. A couple of the girls are full-on glaring at us. Stay mad, bitches.

"Hey, I know I asked you out to coffee to keep it casual, but any chance you'd want to take off and go to Abrams Park?" Anika asked curiously.

"It's not too cold for you?"

"Nope, I got this cute little coat," she said, pulling her black, fur-lined coat off her chair.

"Then sure, I'd love to go to the park. Also, do I have to leave a tip, and do I bring the mugs to them or leave them on the table?"

"No to the tip, and I'll bring our mugs back," Anika offered.

She hooks her delicate, manicured fingers through the handles, and I can't help but compare myself to her. My fingers aren't delicate; my hands are strong and rough. There's nothing wrong with my nails. I trim them, and they don't look bad, but I don't think I know what a cuticle is. Without Hotpants, I wouldn't even know how to dress. I still don't, if he hadn't made me outfits to wear I'd be fucked. Anika walks away, her hips swaying like a charmed snake. She hands the mugs to one of the baristas, a girl with a shaved head except for her long purple bangs. What did her nametag say again? I think it was Sophie, but spelled like WiFi. So-Fi. What a stupid name. So-Fi takes the mugs from Anika, and their hands touch for just long enough that I start to wonder. Anika says something, and the other girl laughs, an ugly sound like a goose honking through a straw.

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Anika comes back, and she does look cute in the coat. Should I ask her? I grab my windbreaker and zip it up. I haven't had time to shop for winter stuff with Hotpants yet. And I'm too afraid to shop on my own and get an ugly coat. The two of us leave Lés Bean, and the wind chill makes Anika shiver. I start to put my arm around her, but I hesitate. The interaction with the barista replays in my head, and I lower my arm. Should I say something? She offers me her hand, and I swallow my question whole. The warmth of her touch is enough for me to forget about the nagging voice in the back of my head. She leads me across streets, past shops, and down alleys in our journey to this park. I don't know where anything in Quinstin is.

______________________________________________________________________

Abrams Park is nice; it's more like a national park reservation than one you'd expect to see in a city like Quinstin. It's gigantic and has raised hills and a sweeping forest. Huge oak trees intertwined with eastern white pines courtesy of the Cape Bloom. She's a nature Manipulator/Alter who helped create this park. That's how two different tree species are able to grow around each other like a Twizzler to heights that neither should be able to grow to. Despite existing in the middle of a giant city, there are tons of animals here that have no fear of humans. Squirrels will steal food from picnickers. Raccoons have learned that begging gets them more food than from trash cans, and fifty different previously endangered birds make their nests near the tops of three-hundred-foot-tall trees. Huge fields of flowers surround a giant natural lake in the center, where frogs, toads, small fish, and ducks frolic around. There's no technology here, either, no street lamps, no carved-up pavestones, the paths are made of natural stone. Even the benches are made of a blend of roots and bushes that coexist.

I haven't met Bloom or fought her, but if I ever do, I'll have to give my compliments to what she's accomplished here. God, I hope Rorschach finds those Merchant fuckers soon. We've been walking through the park on the well-trodden dirt trails for a while now. Anika looks even more like a fairy amongst the trees and beneath the shade they create. The shadows that trail across her face somehow complement her makeup in a way that defies reality. I could say something about the cafe interaction, but this is our first date—my first date ever, and I don't want to screw it up.

"I told you this place was magical," Anika said, spinning around.

"It is. I've never heard of this place, and I feel like a park built by a Cape should probably be busier," I said, surprised.

"For most people, when they realize that Bloom won't suddenly appear, they lose interest. I like it that way. The park has always been a place for me to clear my mind. It's a place where all my worries fade away. It's like a sense of peace envelops me whenever I come here," Anika said wistfully.

"So you grew up in Quinstin?" I asked, after waiting to see if she'd continue.

"Yep, me, my mom, my dad, and my little brother. It just made sense to go to Quinstin University when it came time to apply to colleges. My mom and dad are two of those progressively conservative types. Like me being gay doesn't warrant a mention, but the idea that their daughter might not get a diploma? That would send my dad over the edge. I remember when I first came out, my dad sat me down and said, 'I love you, Betiya, no matter who you love. As long as it doesn't interfere with your studies," Anika recounted fondly.

At the mention of Anika's dad, my mind instantly goes to Mr. Jonesby. I bite my tongue and fight the tears threatening to start. Don't cry and ruin the mascara. I spent hours learning how to do it, and I can't just go and undo all my hard work. Instead, I get closer to her and lean against one of the giant trees that stretch so high above us.

"Your family sounds lovely," I said.

"They are, except for my little brother. Ahbi can be a little toxic. He spends a lot of time on the internet, on forums and websites that are warping his stupid boy brain," Anika sighed.

She doesn't ask me about my family, and I'm very grateful for that. I guess my stable lifestyle spiel clued her into my shitty past. We continue to walk in silence until it starts to get dark, but it isn't the awkward quietness of not knowing what to say, but the contentful silence from just enjoying being around someone. Still, the scene from earlier keeps playing over in my mind.

"Hey, I know this is probably going to ruin this moment, but did you know that barista at the cafe? It's been in the back of my head."

I'd rather do this now than get hurt later.

"So-Fi? Yeah, she's an ex of mine. I didn't think she'd be working today because I do love the cafe, but I'm always kind of avoiding it because of her. When I noticed that she was working, we had already ordered, and I didn't bother to explain because I thought it might be a tad awkward, kinda like how it is right now," Anika laughed dryly.

"Oh," I responded.

"Why? Are you jealous?" Anika smiled. "Because if running into one of my exes is gonna make you jealous, we might need to avoid any place that lesbians congregate."

"No, uh," I stuttered.

Anika walks over to me, standing in front of me, and her orange lips are hypnotizing. Her teasing grin makes my stomach squirm. She gets closer, and my heart is in my throat. She smells so wonderful. Anika's eyes curve in amusement as she leans forward. I know I said I wanted to go slower, but a kiss wouldn't contradict that. I close my eyes, angling my lips down for the incoming kiss. I feel a brief bit of pressure on my mouth and open my eyes. Anika's finger is pressed against my lips.

"You're adorable. Like I could just devour you," she said suggestively.

"I wanna show you something," she said, grabbing my hand.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

I let her drag me forward. I'm taller than her, stronger than her, but she's curvier than me, more experienced than me, and I don't mind being bossed around by her. Anika continues leading me somewhere; the turns we've taken off the trail feel too clean to be spontaneous. I like surprises anyway.

After ten minutes of silent walking, we emerge past the treeline. We're on top of one of the more elevated parts of the park. There's one of those benches made from a shrub with beautiful flowers growing all over it to our left by a bunch of stones, but what steals the show is the view. Across from us is the Quinstin skyline—giant dark pillars of steel, concrete, and glass, metal monuments of progress. Most of the lights are off, but certain floors or rooms are lit up, creating a beautiful contrast. Anika pulls me over to the bench and we take a seat to enjoy the view. We sit there on the surprisingly comfortable bench, holding hands and looking at the city.

"It's amazing," I blurted out.

"I know. I love the view from here. It reminds me how small we are in the grand scheme of the universe. It's like no matter how big my problems might seem to me, they aren't all that world-ending. This place is like my haven, a secret hideaway where I can be myself. It also shows that nature can prevail despite being enclosed by all of that industrial greed. Like thriving despite the circumstances that surround you. I just love this place and wanted to share that with you. Sorry, I probably sound so friggin cheesy," she apologized.

"Don't be. The view is breathtaking; I don't think I've ever seen anything like this," I said, my tone full of awe.

"You're the first person I've ever shown this to," she said suddenly. "You've got an incredibly honest energy, Vivienne, and I wanted to show you my little slice of heaven. You might not be my first date, but you're the first girl I've brought here."

There are no words I could use to properly respond to what she's told me. I don't know what comes over me, but the vulnerability she's showing me makes my chest ache. I brush the bangs off her face and kiss her. It's a spur-of-the-moment decision, and I don't regret it. The kiss ends after a beautiful eternity. There wasn't any tongue; both of us knew what it meant.

"Wow. Thank you for sharing this place with me. You can be a real sweetheart when you aren't bullying me," I said playfully.

"It's not bullying when a hot girl is mean; it's aggressive flirting," Anika said.

"If you say so. This has been the best date ever," I said.

"Best date ever so far. I can do so much better than this. Give me time and I will construct the greatest date imaginable, a monument to romance that scholars will study for generations," Anika announced to the quiet night.

I can't help but laugh at her, and she joins me. I'm happy, here and now, in this secret sanctuary with a pretty girl. It's nice to feel like a regular person for a bit. I would never trade my Cowl life for a different one. The excitement and pleasure I get from it are too nice. Part of me feels a little shitty that I'm hiding so much from her. But I would never betray Momentus or Nobody. This might be the start of a budding relationship, and if I have to tell her eventually, I will. But I'll cross that bridge if we get to it. My phone vibrates, and I reach for it before my mind registers what's happening. It's my other phone, the burner in my back pocket.

(???) She found them. We make our move tonight.

Fuck. Damn it, Nobody.

"Hey, I gotta go," I said quickly, getting off the bench.

"What, why? Who just texted you?" Anika asked, clearly worried.

"Nobody, I mean it's no one. Listen, I just gotta go. I'll text you, though. Bye," I said, dashing off into the forest.

"Vivienne! Vivienne, wait," Anika yelled after me.

God damn awful fucking timing.

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