SPLASH

It didn't matter how hard she pushed herself, she could never catch up with him. This was just another cruel reminder of what she wasn't. Even if their blood was the same, even if he raised her from birth, she still felt stained. She felt like she wasn't his daughter.

But that wasn't what truly bothered her.

It was the lies. The complacency. The pain he felt as a result of her ineptitude. The people she could have saved.

SPLASH

How convenient that she could masquerade as another without a care in the world. They wore their identities so proudly and yet she buried hers in falsehoods and assumptions.

"MISS!"

Pacifica snapped to. She was standing in the pool, though that wasn't the problem. It was the whirlpool that violently circled with her at the eye of the storm.

"Ah!" she shrieked, the vortex exploding from around her. The chlorinated water rained down a storm entirely of her creation.

It didn't stop the eyes that bore into her, judging her. Just like they would. She deserved the judgment. The lies, the falsehoods she put up with her naivete.

"I'm sorry!" cried the otter, rushing out of the pool, the water avoiding her as she passed.

Even now, she was running. Where to? She had no idea. Everything was a mess. Nothing made sense.

It felt like her body wasn't her own. What was even real anymore?

No one dared stop her as she stumbled out of the pool. It was obvious to her something was wrong, but she wasn't paid any mind. Was this just a her problem? Was she just overly considerate?

Why?

Why was she like this?

It hurt too much. She had to go back. But she couldn't hurt them. But she loved them. She loved them so much. It hurt that she hurt them. It couldn't go on like this. She had to get away. It was suffocating. Was this what drowning was like? Those poor souls. And yet she could drown. So easily. So painfully. So forgettably. An oxymoronic existence she was.

"Ah!" she yelped as she stumbled down a sudden sharp incline. She tumbled down into a damp ditch. The otter lay there, eyes forced to take in the uncaring sky above. Sage Cielto must be laughing at this pitiful creature right now.

"You dropped this."

A sandal plopped onto her gut. It felt like she was sucked back into her body as she became cognizant of her surroundings.

Standing just out of the stagnant water was Rebecca, and further up Taika, holding a distraught Shouri.

"Leave me alone!" Pacifica cried, the water at her side suddenly shooting up like spikes.

Rebecca was better than that and shot backward, burning away the grass in her wake. "Oh, we're gonna play like that huh?!" the fox grinned. "Let's scrap then!"

"Rebby!" Taika shouted. "I'm gonna kick her ass and bring her home!" Rebecca barked back.

The fire element blazed down the embankment, uncaring of the scarring she was inflicting on the land.

A thrust of Pacifica's wrist summoned the water pooled at her feet, striking at the charging fox.

Rebecca was just too nimble and pivoted around the untrained attack.

THWACK!

Pain.

She was on the ground and the left side of her face was throbbing, pounding in protest at the strike inflicted upon it. Why?

"Listen you," said Rebecca, shaking out her right hand. "I don't know what the fuck is going on in that pretty little head of yours, but get up. We're taking you home," snarled the fox.

"H-home?" Pacifica squeaked. "Yeah, home, get up," she repeated.

Pacifica shook her head. "No, I-" "Paci."

That voice halted all of the other ones in her head. She grunted as she pushed herself up. Shouri and Taika now joined Rebecca just outside the muddy water.

"Can we talk?" he requested. "Please?" Taika chimed in.

She couldn't say no. Her gaze met Rebecca's – anger, but a pain of her own dwelled behind the Renard's eyes. She couldn't say no to any of them.

Awkward wasn't a strong enough word to describe the ride back to the guild hall. Perhaps the Maelish language lacked an appropriate word to describe the feeling in the silent car, or more likely Pacifica just didn't have the appropriate tools in her lexicon to come up with an appropriate descriptor.

It was definitely humiliating, making the walk to the guild office covered in mud and bearing the bruised cheek that had shined up nicely.

Everyone stared at her. They were judging her. Judging her for how weak she was. Judging her for how pitiful a creature she was. Judging her for-

SMACK

"REBBY!" Taika pulled the other fox away from the otter. "CUT IT OUT!" Rebecca roared.

Pacifica held her right cheek, now with a bright red slap mark to match her bruised left.

"SHE'S BETTER THAN THIS!" Rebecca struggled against Taika who was making gradual progress in creating distance between the enraged fox and the sullen otter.

"Pacifica." Shouri's voice snapped her out of her stupor. "Let's talk," he offered.

She shook her head.

"Too bad. If you want to break up with us, then we need to talk first. Then I'll let you go," he stated evenly.

Just like she thought – she was weak. Such strong people didn't need a weakling like her dragging them around. Who was she fooling? Not them. That was certain.

"Pacifica," once again it was Shouri who coaxed her from her mind. They were alone in the office. She sat across from him, the desk between them. In front of her was her blue tuner.

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"I won't stop you if you want to leave. That's always been an option, you know that," he reminded her.

The otter nodded slowly, her arm extending out to accept the offer.

"But-"

She stopped, her fingertips just shy of taking ahold of the device.

"I do love you, and so do Taika and Rebecca. Why don't you tell me what's on your mind? This isn't like you."

Her arm trembled, remaining outstretched as she struggled with her mind. "I just… I'm weak, and a liar and-"

"Was loving us a lie?" he cut her off. "No! I love you! I love them! I love what we have!" she cried. "Then why does it matter?"

The trembling continued as her hand balled up into a fist. "I just… don't know who I am anymore…? All this time I thought I was happy with just being me, but… what else don't I know about myself?" The tears broke free, running hot and rapid in their flow.

Shouri sighed and reclined in his chair. "Don't tell the others," he started, "but, I have a nasty feeling that we're not done with the Ilea Vim thing."

Pacifica's tear-laden face contorted with confusion. "What do you mean? Did he escape?" she asked.

"I misspoke, it's not Ilea Vim we have to worry about. He's still in prison awaiting trial. He's been oddly agreeable with the authorities. Well, at least he was honest about that." Another sigh escaped the guildmaster's lips. "He won't say who all of his supporters were. They can't get anything out of him. The records are clean. The money is clean. It's all too damn clean."

She nodded slowly, understanding what Shouri was getting at.

"Whoever was supporting him had resources, tons of resources. I can't even begin to speculate who it could possibly be. If it's even one person or tons of different groups. But I can say I- we definitely made their shit list."

Another chilling remark.

"With all of that in mind, I understand if you want to break up-" "NO!"

The otter shook with emotion. "No… I just… I don't want to be a burden and I-" "Paci, you've never been a burden. I love you, how many times do I have to say that? I love you so goddamn much." "Wh-why? I'm not special I-" "Do you really think that little of me?"

That certainly silenced her protests. She lowered her head in shame. "I just… everything is so messed up and I don't know what to do anymore."

Shouri pushed his chair back from the desk and opened his arms. "Etude?" he asked. "I don't deserve it." "Then leave."

Again, the curtness of his words struck her; she lifted her gaze, the shock painted her expression plain to see.

"I won't sugar coat it, waking up and finding you totally gone gave me a full-on panic attack. All I could think of was how Mila disappeared that day. I didn't see her for eight years. I thought she died Pacifica. I thought she was dead. All I could think about was finding you dead."

The tears flowed freely once more pulled down by guilt. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"If that's your answer, get over here and etude damn it. You're not thinking straight and I need to put your brain back on right."

Finally, after all the anguish, and all the waterworks, she finally submitted to her Maestro's request and stepped around the desk. The chair squeaked in protest as she sat on his lap and curled up in his embrace, continuing to allow herself to cry.

"Shhh shhh… we've dealt with this before, we have a gameplan…" Shouri whispered, stroking the girl's hair. "Wh-what's that?" she asked. "We're gonna get you a trainer, just like Taika." "Please don't make me climb a mountain again." "Don't worry my love, we'll avoid high places this time." "Good."

"I'm sorry," said Pacifica, unable to meet her fellow Resonator's eyes.

"Stop bottling up your emotions, jeez," Rebecca scoffed. "I thought you could trust us," Taika pouted.

"I'm sorry," Pacifica's voice cracked.

Rebecca rolled her eyes but stepped forward and hugged the emotional otter. "Our stave makes us feel things a lot harder than the rest of them."

Taika joined the embrace. "Talk to us, we love you too."

"I'm sorry…I don't deserve any of you." Pacifica squeezed her beloved friends tightly. "Big dummy." Rebecca smiled. "She's our dummy." Taika too couldn't suppress her grin.

With that matter settled, it was time to plot their next move. "So now we have to figure out who is going to train Paci," said Shouri, breaking up the hugging trio.

"Thank god that's gonna be a hell of a lot easier than Taika," Rebecca scoffed. "No mountains this time?" Taika asked. "No mountains, otter's request," Shouri chuckled.

"I don't even know how to use it…" Pacifica mumbled. She wiped away the tears and rubbed her sore throat. "I thought I'd know better but…" she trailed off.

"It's hard, I understand." Taika patted her fellow Resonator's back. "But you all helped me, so we're gonna help you."

"My god, we're gonna be so crazy when this is all done," Rebecca realized. "Huh? How come?" questioned Taika.

"All three of you will have the ability to fight independently of me if it comes down to it. Rebecca's flames, your beads, and now Pacifica's water," Shouri said.

A certain incident only three months old rang in the trio's mind. Never again. They would never be powerless to protect their beloved Maestro. That was a fact, and gave Pacifica the motivation she needed.

"I'm ready to learn."

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