My Demon Friends

Chapter 235 The Old Monster's Cunning Plan


Zhou Li hadn't gone for a run today. After trading places with Huai Xu, he'd been lying in bed the whole time.

He'd gone to bed too late last night and had planned to catch up on sleep. However, once he lay down, he just kept playing with his phone, and before he knew it, faint wisps of cooking aroma began to drift in through the crack under the door.

Li Daimao: I'm off to eat.

Zhou Li: I'm going to eat too.

Li Daimao: What are you guys having?

Zhou Li: Don't know. Something delicious, I guess.

Li Daimao: Take a photo for me.

Zhou Li: Oh.

He turned off his phone.

Huai Xu was slumped in the chair on the balcony, not facing outside but toward the room, making eye contact with Zhou Li through the glass pane. His posture and expression were unmistakably those of an Abandoned Demon.

"Twice-cooked pork, and twice-cooked napa cabbage," the Abandoned Demon muttered.

"What did you say?" Zhou Li opened the window.

"What could you two have been talking about all morning?" the Abandoned Demon asked weakly, still slumped in the chair, lifting his eyelids to look at him.

"We didn't talk about much."

"Hmm? Just exchanging stickers?"

"No."

"Liar..."

"It was nothing important." Zhou Li thought back. It seemed they hadn't really discussed anything important; they'd just unknowingly sent a lot of messages. "What's wrong with you? Why do you look half-dead?"

"You have the nerve to ask. I asked you to play games with me, but you didn't; asked you to go running, but you wouldn't; asked you to go beat up some Little Demons for fun, but you weren't interested. You said you needed to catch up on sleep. Is this how you catch up on sleep?" The Old Monster turned his head away, disconsolate. "Master Ming says humans actually love themselves the most. Look, I'm just like you now, yet you even despise yourself."

"Don't they teach reading comprehension in elementary school anymore?"

"...You're hopeless." The Old Monster fell silent for a moment before launching into personal attacks.

"...You're the one who's hopeless!"

"You're insulting yourself."

"No, you're insulting yourself."

"Fine, I'm an ugly ghost then."

"..."

"Aunt Jiang is about to call you for dinner," said the Old Monster.

"Is that so?"

"3, 2, 1..."

No sooner had Huai Xu spoken than Aunt Jiang's voice came from outside, "Dinner's ready! Dinner's ready..."

Zhou Li looked at Huai Xu in astonishment.

Huai Xu weakly gestured, his sickly demeanor somehow adding a sage-like air to him. "Aunt Jiang always walks from the kitchen to the living room before she starts calling out. She always calls out just as she passes through the living room. It's like that every time. I've figured out her pattern. Impressive, right?"

Zhou Li thought for a moment and said, "Next time we're out doing business, I'll use that expression of yours."

"Impressive, right?" Huai Xu emphasized his tone.

"Impressive."

"Hey! It's nothing really~"

"I'm off to eat."

"Bring me back some cake."

"After we eat."

"Alright."

Zhou Li walked out.

The table was laden with a sumptuous spread. In the center sat a two-tier birthday cake, Hami Melon and Durian flavored—a favorite of one of the Demons—with only a few yellow peaches and strawberries for decoration.

And usually, when someone in their family had a birthday, they'd only buy the smallest cake just for the gesture, unless many people were present. Besides, in their family, only Zhu Shuang really liked cake. Aunt Jiang was okay with it, and Zhou Li didn't care for it. Old Zhou was health-conscious and rarely ate high-calorie foods like cake. Yet this cake was exceptionally large.

Zhou Li's mouth twitched. He took out his phone to snap a photo.

Aunt Jiang hurriedly beckoned him over to his usual seat. Then, she, Zhu Shuang, and Zhu Bing quickly began inserting candles while Tuanzi sat primly at the edge of the table, curiously watching them.

Old Zhou was very Zen about such things, as was Zhou Li. They usually found these kinds of elaborate affairs a bit awkward.

Besides, they were too lazy to bother.

But Aunt Jiang cared a lot about ceremony.

Zhu Shuang too.

Now it seemed Zhu Bing was no different.

The three of them quickly inserted nineteen candles into the cake and lit them one by one, using another candle lit from the gas stove.

Zhou Li didn't make a sound.

Tuanzi carefully padded along the edge of the table to Zhou Li, snuggled up beside him, and looked up with her big eyes. "Zhou Li, what are they doing?"

"Cake."

"Lord Dumpling knows cake, but what are those stick-like things?"

"Candles."

"They're so pretty, they look like chocolate... Lord Dumpling knows what candles are, but why put candles on a cake?"

"To light them."

"Why light them?"

"You light candles for birthdays." Zhou Li carefully picked her up and cradled her in his arms, stroking her gently. "After lighting the candles, you blow them out. Of course, a little kitty like you wouldn't know that."

"Why do you have to do that?" Tuanzi asked suspiciously.

"I don't know either," Zhou Li whispered, burying his face in her fur.

"Oh, Zhou Li is a dummy."

"Lord Dumpling is a dummy too."

"Lord Dumpling certainly is not!"

"Alright..."

While Zhou Li and Tuanzi were talking, Aunt Jiang handed the paper crown that came with the cake to Old Zhou. Since Old Zhou was close to Zhou Li, he put it on Zhou Li's head with a look of distaste. Then, the birthday song began.

Tuanzi's eyes were wide and bright. She tilted her head, looking from Zhou Li in his crown, to the cake with its burning candles, then to Aunt Jiang, Zhu Shuang, and Zhu Bing who were clapping and singing. She also watched Old Zhou, who was barely moving his lips, his attempt at pretending to sing along very unprofessional. Her expression was somewhat dazed.

"This looks like so much fun!" Tuanzi scratched at Zhou Li's neck with her paw, but without extending her claws.

"Make a wish," Aunt Jiang said.

Zhou Li obediently closed his eyes, clasped his hands together, silently counted down from ten—just going through the motions—and blew out the candles upon opening his eyes.

Zhu Shuang and Zhu Bing, mischievous as ever, immediately broke into applause.

Tuanzi wriggled in Zhou Li's arms, her eyes sparkling. "Lord Dumpling wants to join in too!"

While cutting the cake, Zhou Li asked, "When's Lord Dumpling's birthday?"

"I dunno..."

The others found this amusing. They weren't surprised by Zhou Li chatting with Tuanzi—Zhu Shuang did it all the time, so they were used to it.

"Here you go."

Zhou Li handed the first piece of cake to Aunt Jiang.

The second went to Old Zhou.

Then, looking down at Tuanzi, he asked, "What would Lord Dumpling like to eat? Would you like the durian?"

"That stuff is poisonous!"

"Oh..."

So Zhou Li avoided the durian. He cut a tiny piece of the cake base for her, with a little cream and a touch of fruit jam, then topped it with half a strawberry. It was very thoughtful.

Even so, Tuanzi leaned in to sniff it repeatedly, pawed at it a couple of times, and only took a bite after confirming there was no durian scent.

Then came Zhu Bing and Zhu Shuang, and finally himself.

After distributing the slices, about a quarter of the cake was gone. Zhou Li estimated that about two-thirds would likely be left over.

Finally, they moved on to the actual dinner.

Since Tuanzi had only received a tiny sliver of cake, she still had room in her stomach. So, Zhou Li gave her some salt-baked chicken and braised beef, partly to prevent Zhu Shuang from accusing him of feeding Tuanzi junk food. Unfortunately, after finishing that, Tuanzi still clamored for Zhou Li to prepare her a bowl of rice with fish soup.

「After dinner.」

Zhou Li took almost the entire top layer of the cake, along with several plates, into his room.

He carefully cut three slices, ensuring each had plenty of fruit, and arranged them meticulously on plates. Only then did he say to Huai Xu, "Could you deliver a slice to Brother Nan and two slices to Zheng Zhilan?"

"This afternoon..."

"I'll play games with you!"

"That's more like it!" Huai Xu nodded, still harboring some dissatisfaction. "You can't forget your friends just because you're in a relationship, you know. Li Daimao is just Li Daimao. But I'm different—I, alone, am a whole forest."

"...Go and come back quickly."

Several dark lines appeared on Zhou Li's forehead.

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