Bai Bufan wielded the extinguisher, chasing Lin Li around the room— the fire extinguisher sign in the inn was a bit outdated, and with a couple of letters missing, "fire" became "people".
But hey, at least it's serving its purpose.
"Bad dog! Bai Bufan, you bad dog! Stop chasing, sit! Sit!"
Lin Li's insults sounded more like whining but were highly insulting nonetheless.
Their chase was uproariously loud, and the three girls present had no empathy whatsoever for this vile pet attack incident; they were laughing more cheerfully than anyone.
Who the hell said women are naturally capable of love?
Show some love already!
...
"Whew—" Lin Li came down the stairs and sat back on the mat, letting out a long breath.
Only Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu were left on the first floor; Chen Yu Ying was probably upstairs taking a bath.
"Where's Bai Bufan?" Ding Sihan inquired.
Lin Li sighed, "This guy caught me off guard just now, and he gave me two choices: death or let him touch my butt."
Qu Wanqiu was already laughing, "What did you choose, Lin Li?"
"Of course, death," Lin Li said matter-of-factly.
Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu's laughter was boisterous.
"Anyway, he's off playing games. Aren't you going upstairs to rest? Or are you planning to watch me naked?"
Everyone was tired from the day, and although it was just nine o'clock, which wasn't too late, no one wanted to do anything else together. Lin Li had come downstairs intending to take a bath, adding that he waved the clothing in his hand.
"Yu Ying is already in the bath. Sigh, I haven't washed my hair in days; I have to wash it tonight. I'm somewhat envious of Tang Monk," Ding Sihan sighed and remarked upon hearing this.
"Why envy Tang Monk?" Qu Wanqiu, who was next to them, didn't understand.
"Because Tang Monk never had to bathe himself. Every time he got captured, the little ones had to obey their king and clean him up. How many baths did he take through the eighty-one tribulations?" Lin Li speculated upon hearing this.
Who knows if any demons were curious enough to pinch Tang Monk.
In any case, Bai Bufan definitely couldn't resist.
"Exactly, during the stage where I found bathing troublesome, I used to be terribly envious," Ding Sihan snapped her fingers, acknowledging Lin Li.
Qu Wanqiu: "..."
Can that be considered a bath, or is it a food safety issue?
"Now that you mention it, no wonder Tang Monk had such smooth skin, and the Queen of the Kingdom of Women liked him. While others trudged through dust and grime, he bathed daily, making him stand out," Qu Wanqiu commented after her thoughts wandered.
"If the Queen of the Kingdom of Women could love anyone in the traveling party at first sight, she truly would be something," Lin Li frowned, looking at Qu Wanqiu's sharp critique.
Qu Wanqiu: "..."
Seems plausible.
"Tang Monk was a heartbreaker; I feel he clearly had feelings but wasn't brave enough. Why couldn't he just take the Queen away?"
Qu Wanqiu commented again, as girls tend to think differently when watching this sort of thing than boys do.
If Lin Li were Tang Monk, he would have had a clear conscience and five kids by now.
Upon hearing Qu Wanqiu say this, Lin Li furrowed his brows deeply, incredulous that she would propose such an idea:
"Little Qiuqiu, they were going to India, to where even a White Dragon Horse would get pinched. You want Tang Monk to take the Queen of the Kingdom of Women there? Are you serious? As a pure love warrior, I can't stand cuckolds."
Qu Wanqiu: "?"
Qu Wanqiu lowered her head and began to laugh suppressedly, "...Sorry."
Lin Li's "even the White Dragon Horse would get pinched" utterly broke her.
The funniest thing is, indeed, it's something India could pull off; it's not slander.
"Sihan, I'm done with my shower," Chen Yu Ying's voice came from the third floor at this point.
Skincare doesn't need to be done in the bathroom, so when it comes to not including hair-washing, girls aren't particularly slow at bathing.
"Class rep, is the bathwater still there?" At those words, Lin Li quickly asked.
There was no response.
Lin Li surmised the class rep must have whispered "pervert," just too quietly for him to hear.
He didn't know if the prefix was good or bad.
"What are you two looking at me like that for? What? Haven't you learned about water resource utilization in elementary school? Rice rinse water can be used for plants, laundry water can flush toilets, and bathwater can quench thirst; aren't these basics?"
Two gazes from nearby made Lin Li uncomfortable, and he retorted.
Ding Sihan, Qu Wanqiu: "..."
Has some strange common sense slipped in; where is this common sense anyway?
This guy, still performing consistently.
Qu Wanqiu: "Which elementary school? Tell me so I can dodge it."
Lin Li felt misunderstood; as a kid, any boy who didn't guzzle shower water from the showerhead had great self-control.
Besides, what's wrong with a little homage to Durant?
"Sigh, I'm going to take a shower." Ding Sihan got up and stretched.
Then she glanced at Lin Li, who let out a pitiful sigh, hit right on the head by a pillow.
Ding Sihan hugged her chest, looking at Lin Li with extreme disdain: "Lin Li, I'm a bit hungry. Make me a snack, and I'll skip brushing teeth and eat after my bath."
Such demanding attitude, Uncle Ding is indeed overbearing.
"I want some too!" Qu Wanqiu, who had only heard but not witnessed this hidden culinary god, was also very interested.
"What a shame, although I really want to serve you, I used up all the fridge ingredients this morning for breakfast, can't make it." You could tell Lin Li truly regretted, his mouth formed a sad Nike swoosh.
After all, although Lin Li mastered cooking, he didn't find cooking terribly enjoyable yet.
After trying to make breakfast for himself that morning, he found ordering takeout still more convenient.
"Then I'll have to order takeout." After checking the fridge and realizing Lin Li wasn't lying, Ding Sihan said regretfully.
"Ugh, what a pity."
Ding Sihan and Qu Wanqiu went upstairs, while Lin Li also started taking a shower.
"Lin Li, the takeout has arrived, can you grab it?" Ding Sihan called from the third floor as Lin Li finished showering.
They've mastered the lazy dog technique too.
Check what's been ordered, and sneak a bite if it's tasty.
Three minutes later.
Lin Li, with a stern expression, thudded up to the third floor, holding the takeout in his hand, looking grim, questioning Ding Sihan, "Ding Sihan, come on, tell your dad, what takeout did you order?"
"Ingredients, probably for three or four people. The leftovers, you can have it for breakfast tomorrow."
Sitting in front of the dressing mirror with Chen Yu Ying, both holding hair dryers to dry their wet hair, Ding Sihan replied just like a rich lady commanding her pretty maid, sounding righteous and confident.
Lin Li: "..."
You damn well call ordering takeout this kind of takeout?
"Why don't you just order ready-made snacks?" Lin Li questioned.
"You're too eager to serve us, I can't let you down." Ding Sihan replied.
Lin Li: "..."
"Xiaodingding, do you know what you have to do before winning a woman's heart through her stomach?" After a moment of silence, Lin Li asked.
"What?"
"First, you have to clamp the proximal and distal ends of the arteries, or the blood will spill out." Lin Li smiled.
Ding Sihan: "..."
So it's literally grabbing the stomach?
"Ying Bao can also eat, you're not allowed to poison it." Feeling a hint of danger, Ding Sihan pulled out her lifeline.
Only a middle finger could express Lin Li's feelings.
But it didn't really matter much.
Already preparing to go downstairs, Lin Li thudded back to the bathroom door, pretended to peek inside, then turned back and asked, "Class rep, you didn't leave a drop, huh?"
Chen Yu Ying picked up the hairdryer to cover her face and blew in Lin Li's direction.
"... Pervert, ugh."
This time it was heard.
Ding Sihan: "I left mine, do you want it?"
Ding Sihan: "Lin Li, turn around and respond to this before going downstairs!"
Ding Sihan: "Why are you running away!"
...
Cooking, honestly, preparing for one or five people isn't much different, so Lin Li and the group enjoyed another late-night snack.
Transferred one dollar of heritage onto Qu Wanqiu's face, so the "clean it yourself" person turned out to be her.
Lin Li returned to the second floor.
After burping, Bai Bufan looked at Lin Li: "Lin Li, it's still early tonight, let's play some games."
"Not playing." Lin Li refused.
"Not just me, Wang Ze and Haoyang are here too. The four of us together are quite formidable." Bai Bufan continued to persuade.
"It's not them you're supposed to support."
"Then you support me."
"That's more hopeless than seeing a giant head appear on the city wall."
Bai Bufan: "..."
"Lin Li, we're going home tomorrow, and we've never teamed up to play during our outing. Don't you think that's unreasonable? Plus, it's just after ten; even if you have a good routine, playing until twelve then sleeping isn't late." Bai Bufan reasoned sincerely, with heartfelt words.
Lin Li sighed and started to chant:
"Bufan, remember, it's not about not playing, it's about playing at a slower and more measured pace. Play in order, play with moderation, transition from high quantity play to high quality play, strive to achieve playing first to lead to playing later, achieving collective playing.
However, you're currently just high quantity playing. You need high quality playing for me to follow along later."
Bai Bufan: "?"
"Did the midterm exams really knock you silly? You're saying such things," Bai Bufan had a face full of black lines.
"What do you mean? What do you mean by 'saying such things'? What are you trying to express? Who let you into my room? I don't know you! Get out!" Lin Li retreated cautiously on the rug, pointing at Bai Bufan.
Bai Bufan: "..."
If you want to trump up charges, you won't lack excuses.
Seeing Bai Bufan still wanting to persuade, Lin Li suddenly squinted, puzzled, and asked, "Did something burn?"
Upon hearing this, Bai Bufan tried sniffing hard.
Lin Li quickly realized: "Oh, turns out I farted."
With his nose still sniffing and the scent already in it, Bai Bufan: "?"
"You bastard!" Bai Bufan widened his eyes.
Saying something burned after farting, is this a true sword burial?
"Just consider it fulfilling your request to me during that Monopoly game." Lin Li spoke innocently, "Now it's your turn."
"How is it my turn now! How can I release one now!" Bai Bufan roared while covering his nose, "And mine wasn't smelly, you ridiculous guy, what did you eat, why so stinky!"
"It's already generous letting you smell it, and now you want the recipe? You greedy little cat." Seeing Bai Bufan eyeing his trade secrets, Lin Li immediately became alert.
Bai Bufan: "?"
Bai Bufan swiftly fled the scene, leaving only his angry shouts in the air:
"I'm craving your 'beep' cat! That's a 'beep' recipe!"
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