Savage Utopia [Peaceful system exploited for combat - LitRPG]

Chapter 177 - Funny Little Frogs [9]


Will

Crow finished her food and, even more impressively, emptied the wine bottle, then settled back into the couch with a long burp.

"So," she said. "You're the one they call One-Eye, right? I keep hearing things about you."

"Will is fine."

"I prefer One-Eye. It's cuter."

"Suit yourself."

"I have to say, personality aside, I'm kind of a fan. It's not every day you meet the guy who put Jack Darling in the ground and kept him there permanently. Well, at least it would have been permanent if he hadn't ended up here. Thanks for that too, by the way; this place really wouldn't be the same without him."

Will stiffened. "How do you know about that?"

Crow laughed and scratched at the top of a half-exposed breast. "How, indeed!"

"Shit. You listened in on me and Sam talking yesterday, didn't you?"

"Something like that."

"Just how long have you been skulking around the farm?"

"Only since around then, honest! I'm not a stalker or anything."

"Mmhmm, right."

"Say, One-Eye."

"Yes?"

"You already killed Daddy Darling once." Crow slumped over the table with a wide, demented grin. "How'd you like to do a repeat performance?"

Will leaned away, frowning. "I was under the impression that he's pretty hard to kill these days."

"And you'd be right!" Crow kept creeping forward until she had lifted her legs up on the tabletop with a click, click of her clogs, and kept on crawling in a deep crouch like a stalking predator. "I've been trying to put that bastard in the ground for years. He's… slippery. It was a fun challenge at first, but now it's just getting tiresome. See, the thing is…" She slipped smoothly off the table right beside him, coming closer, closer, closer until her nose was nearly bumping his cheek. "...I just tracked down a mutual friend, and apparently, from what he told me, Daddy Darling's got exactly one weakness. Would you like to know what it is?"

"Yes," Will replied without hesitation. He remained still as a statue, facing straight ahead despite having the most infamous lifer of all time quite literally breathing down his neck.

Crow barked out a harsh laugh; uncomfortably loud on account of being so close to his ear. "You see, it's related to his divine vow. It's both the source of his strength and, as I've come to find out, his fatal flaw."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhmm."

She leaned in and whispered in his ear. Even with Will's bum nose, the smell of alcohol on her breath was overpowering. He listened, and his one eye flickered unconsciously while she talked.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yup yup yup," Crow replied, voice husky and thin, her lips just barely brushing his ear. "So you see, that's why you're the perfect person to do this little favor for me."

"I'll consider it, but you should probably temper your expectations. I'm not going toe-to-toe with the Nightmare King unless he gets in my way. Sure, I hate his guts and all, but as long as he sticks to his side of the Frontier, I won't go looking for trouble."

Crow laughed and jumped back, clogs click clicking. "Oh, I can wait. I'm a patient girl, after all. Something tells me you'll cross paths with my old bestie sooner or later."

"If you say so."

"Oh, I almost forgot! If you're gonna go up against him, I reckon you'll be needing… ahem!... urk... this." She cut herself off with a dramatic coughing fit, pounding her chest.

Will turned his face slightly toward her, brows raised. "Needing what, exactly?"

Her coughing intensified into dry heaving, and she doubled over while clutching her stomach. She opened her mouth wide with a loud retch, and something… came out of it. A long, cylindrical object appeared by inches as she straightened and began pulling on it with both hands to coax it along. It kept coming. Recognizing the light curve and delicately webbed handle, Will pressed his lips in a tight line as he realized what exactly she had in there.

Extracting the last of it, Crow gave Anathema an artful twirl before catching it in both hands and holding up the sheathed blade horizontally. "Silly boy! You really shouldn't be leaving your weapons lying around like that. Practically tripped over the damn thing when I went snooping through the castle yesterday."

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Will made no move to take the long saber. Already, he could feel its unclean energies seep into the air, wanting to latch onto him. "I did leave it there for a reason," he remarked dryly.

Crow ignored him. "You know this thing's kind of a hackjob, right?" she mused, the sword unsheathing itself as the scabbard went flipping away on its own accord. She backed out to the center of the floor and gave the bare blade a few test swings. "Still… it's got a sort of blunt charm to it."

"I'd suggest putting that away. It doesn't like to be handled."

"Really?" She held the flat up to her face, peering closely at it, then shrugged. She extended her tongue and ran it along the edge until she drew a line of blood. Smiling, she let the sword point drop to the floor and smacked her lips at the taste. "Seems fine to me."

Normally, any cut from Anathema would have given the wraiths contained within a perfect entry point to wreak havoc on their victim. In this case, though, nothing happened. Maybe Will should have been surprised that Crow could display such dominance over an object that held such unparalleled hatred for all living things, but she'd already proven beyond any doubt that her power was absolutely unmatched. Of course the wraiths were scared shitless of her—anyone would be, alive or otherwise.

"Well, anyway, I just thought I'd be nice and return it to you," Crow said dismissively, and she let the saber fall from her limp grip to clatter on the floor like she'd already forgotten its existence. "Do whatever you like with it." She threw her arms up and stretched with a groan, her oversized breasts bouncing slightly, and said: "So this was fun—a riot, honestly—but I'm starting to get that itch if you know what I'm saying, so I'm gonna go get laid now if you don't mind. Good luck with Sammy Senior and all that."

"Hold on," Will said. "Just a couple more things."

Crow let her arms drop. "Hmm?"

"Firstly, what's the amulet for?"

She snorted. "Pass. It's not a proper mystery if I just tell you—what fun would that be? No, you can figure that one out on your own."

"All those skill casts…" He'd been thinking about what he saw, and was gradually becoming aware of a heavy, oppressive aura that surrounded her, far stronger even than Anathema's unclean emissions. "...they're not just Illusions, are they? It shouldn't be possible, but you're maintaining hundreds of casts at once. How are you doing it?"

Crow just grinned. Then she abruptly vanished into thin air, and Will was left sitting alone in the empty farmhouse, with just the muffled sounds of general merriment outside to soften the silence.

He leaned forward, letting his elbows rest on his thighs, and pushed out a long, shaky breath.

"Fuck," he whispered, feeling as thought a blade had just been lifted off his neck, but was still poised to fall on him at any moment.

* * *

"What did the fortune teller want?" Buck asked when Will left the farmhouse, posted up against one of the porch pillars. "Did you say something about a bird before?"

"He was just talking nonsense," Will replied with a shrug. "The guy's crazy."

"Really? Nothing juicy?"

"Not really. He was…" Will tried to think of a good half-truth. "...asking for tips on getting laid."

Buck laughed. "Goddamn! I didn't know the little fella had it in him. Although, no offense or anything, but I'm not sure why he'd come to you about something like that."

"Out of the two of us, which one is in a committed relationship, and which one is hopelessly single?"

Buck kept laughing until he devolved into a fit of snorting giggles. "Ouch! Touché!"

"Speaking of which…" Spotting her in the crowd, standing at least a head taller than most, he made to leave.

"Yes, speaking of Sam Darling!" Buck cut in, rubbing his eyes with thumb and forefinger as he recovered from his excessive amusement. "I asked if she'd accompany my people to the mines and help oversee the emancipation there whenever it happens. She said yes."

"I figured she would," Will muttered, working his aching right shoulder uncomfortably.

"What about you? Interested?"

Will chewed on his response for half a minute before giving it. "My lord, I'm aware of how this might sound, but I feel obligated to mention that your plan might be a bad idea."

"What, freeing the slaves?"

"Yes."

"What could possibly be bad about that? Surely you're not arguing for slavery, are you?"

Will snorted. "Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. It's your timing I'm concerned about."

"Okay…?"

"The city's in shambles. Your focus should be on restoring infrastructure and restarting the economy. Sheerhome's most lucrative export is the metal that comes out of those mines. As of right now, the merchant's guild already has production up and running again. Maybe not at peak efficiency, but it's something. Let's say you free all the slaves and break up the guild. Who's working the mines? Where are you going to house tens of thousands of former slaves? What are you going to feed them? What are they going to do for work? Who is going to tend to the physical and mental ailments they've accumulated? How are you going to prevent them from exacting revenge against those who have wronged them, and thereby plunging the city into open street warfare?"

Buck adjusted the too-tight crotch of his pants with a haughty huff. "Yeah, yeah. Those are good questions and all, and we'll figure them out as we go along. It's not like I think everything's gonna be all smooth sailing, but doing something has to be better than just sitting on our hands. And let's say we put it off for, what, a month? A year? If I let the slavers continue operating with my tacit approval, how am I any better than Brimstone?"

"Maybe it's not always about being morally correct. Wouldn't you rather be wrong, if it meant you could keep more people alive in the end?"

Buck shook his head. "Debate me all you like, One-Eye, but I'm not budgin'. Slavery has run its course in Sheerhome. I'm putting an end to it, and I'm not gonna just sit around with a finger up my ass until the timing looks right."

Will chewed on his lip, then slowly nodded. "I figured you'd say that, my lord. Do as you wish. At least you have my opinion on the matter."

"Then I can't count on your help?"

"You'll have to do without me," Will confirmed, and hit the lord with a bright smile. "I'm on vacation, after all."

Buck snorted out a clipped laugh. "Fair enough, One-Eye. Fair enough." He clapped Will on the back and leapt off the porch. "All right, let's get the real fun started, shall we!"

Will went after him at his own lackluster pace, going around to hobble down the porch stairs.

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