Learning to be a Menace [Monster Evolution/Academy/LitRPG]

Chapter 167: I'm Bored So I Want To Be Experimented On


Alwin rolled his way down the corridors of the Academy, casting quick, twitchy glances around every corner before rounding it. Just in case a certain mean plant was there, mulling over Milvus' words.

The last thing he wanted was for her to immediately demand an explanation over his—Winal's—actions against Bion. It wasn't his—Winal's—fault that he was so weak.

Thankfully, the coast was clear.

When he reached the grand entrance doors, the lingering scent of scorched metal hung in the air. Looks like Bion and Brie were here quite recently. Either that or the ventilation in this part of the building was horrible.

Regardless, he exited the Academy and rolled his way to Lapis' cafe.

Inside, the shop was bustling. Drones balanced teacups filled with steaming liquids of all colors and teeny plates of overpriced baked treats over to hungry monsters. The rich aroma of yummies was so mouthwatering that Alwin was forced to suck up the drool leaking out of his mouth before it dripped onto the ground.

He tore himself away from the heavenly scent and entered Lapis' lab through the secret entrance inside one of the private rooms.

In there, a small whiff of fragrance followed him. Not wanting to waste the last remaining bits of delicious goodness floating in the air, Alwin took in a nice, big sniff as the scent took hold in his lungs, and he would try his best to keep the treasure locked up tight.

In other words, he held his breath.

It lasted for a good five seconds before he was forced to cough. Not because he had terrible lung capacity, but from the scene in front of him.

Large glass test tubes, beakers, and flasks occupied every inch of the lab. The floor, table, walls, and ceiling, everything was covered in glassware. That was quite the norm for Lapis. But it was their contents that truly shocked Alwin.

Clear liquid filled every one of them. All labelled with various types of Holy Water: 'Dilute Holy Water', 'Distilled Holy Water', 'Concentrated Holy Water', 'Virgin Holy Water', 'Holy Virgin Water', and the list went on.

Alwin gulped.

He came here to steal a couple of treats, not get a shower. Just because he hadn't bathed for about a day or two didn't mean he smelled bad. He smelled perfectly fine. Probably.

Maybe he should come back another day. He could find something else to do, like take a nap.

As he was about to turn around and head back the way he came from, a drone swooped in from the white testing room. It spotted Alwin and flashed blue a couple of times, beckoning him into the room.

Alwin would've just ignored the drone if it wasn't for the unmistakable scent of brownies clinging to it.

Okay, he'd follow the drone, but if Lapis dared to give him a shower, he was high-tailing it out of there—even if he didn't have a tail.

He hopped after it, springing over scattered glassware strewn on the floor, each one sloshing with a different flavor of Holy Water.

When he entered the white room, apart from the eye-destroying light, there was a will-destroying scent even stronger than the one in the cafe. Alwin found himself rolling closer to the source even if he didn't want to—but he did want to, so this part was kind of useless.

The origin of that mouth-waterfalling aroma was none other than Lapis. She floated behind a desk as two drones stirred some brown batter. Behind her was an oven that leaked out that irresistible smell.

"Oh hey there, slime boy apprentice of mine."

Alwin ignored her. Instead, he was locked onto the oven.

He rolled past the floating crystal straight toward it, ignoring the intense heat radiating out of it. Alwin was about to jump up and grab the handle using his teeth when he found himself face to face with one of Lapis' drones.

On top of its head was a bucket with the label, "Super Extra Concentrated Strength Virgin Holy Water".

That was enough to knock some sense into him. He stumbled mid-air and fell face-first onto the ground.

No! Anything but a shower!

"Are you okay, slime boy?" Lapis asked. "Is it the demons again?"

"For the last time! I'm not possessed!" Alwin shouted.

Lapis and the drones leaned in close, giving Alwin a good look at himself as he stared at his reflection on their shiny bodies. He opened his mouth and grinned. It wasn't to try and convince her that Niwla and Winal weren't demons possessing him; he just wanted to check if there was anything stuck in his teeth.

One side was tar black, the other pearly white.

Perfect.

"I don't know about that, slime boy. I'm still sensing something inside of you," Laips said.

"They are not demons!" Alwin shouted. "They're just different parts of me!"

"You sure?"

"Yes!"

"Well, why didn't you say so?"

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"I did. Multiple times."

"Not the 'different parts of you' bit! Yeah, that's my bad. Demons and multiple personalities are pretty similar. Treatment's the same too."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah. If you're feeling sad? Holy Water. Nervous? Holy Water. Going crazy? Holy Water. Demons? Holy Water."

"That actually works?"

"It works really well on demons. It kind of works on everything else."

Alwin just stared at Lapis, wondering why she was taking his role as the clueless, dumb one.

"Anyway, here's an apology brownie."

One of Lapis' drones zipped in from the main room, balancing a tray of delicious, brown, rectangular blocks. It fished out a piece and shoved it inside Alwin's mouth.

It was an explosion of flavor, and he almost melted from the intense nuttiness.

Then he noticed something.

Mind Niwla and Mind Winal were softer. They were still there, just softer. Maybe Holy Water really did help with multiple personalities.

Weird.

"So, what do you think?" Lapis asked.

"Did you add Holy Water to the brownies?"

"Yes! How'd you figure out the secret ingredient? Now tell me, slime boy, how was it?"

"I'm a genius. And it was yummy."

"Anything else? No notes?"

"Nope. I'm done with school for the year. Notes are a thing of the past."

Not that he ever took notes, but the point still stands.

"Oh, is the sem over already? Is that why you're here?"

"Kind of. I was mainly just bored."

"Bored is good."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it means you'll do whatever I say because you have nothing better to do. Now show me that new form of yours, slime boy. The bug one."

Lapis was right. He would listen to her because he really had nothing better to do. With that, he relinquished control to Winal and transformed into a Crimson Gold King Ant.

"Interesting," Lapis said, floating closer to Winal. "So this is your Tier three evolution. Very elementally. Wonder how the food will taste if I use you to do some cooking."

Winal just stared at her.

"And quiet too. Are personality changes a product of you traversing the Evolution Tree or part of the multiple personalities thing you've got going for you?"

Winal just stared at her some more.

"Fascinating. Now show me that brand new skill you made, ant boy apprentice of mine. Unless that memory of you registering a spell was some fever dream."

Winal simply nodded. With the aid of Mind Niwla and Mind Alwin, he produced a single tiny Ice Spy. It rolled around the room, mapping out the area while Lapis stared at it. If she had a mouth or eyes, they'd both be wide open.

"Impressive. Creating a brand new, unique spell at such a young age. I'm so proud of you," she sniffed. "Maybe I am a better teacher than I thought."

Winal responded this time, shaking his head.

"Rude. Anyway, I have a list of things I want to try. Your help is pushing our understanding of Evolution to new heights!"

Winal resumed staring at her.

"Man, I miss slime boy. Could you turn back?"

At Lapis' behest, Winal gave the reins to Alwin, and after a flash of light, the Yin-Yang Slime was back.

"As I was saying, your help is pushing our understanding of Evolution to new heights."

Alwin had heard it the first time, but now he actually got to respond.

"Really? How high? Like five floors high?"

"Infinity stories high!"

"Woah, that's amazing."

"I know. Also, I prefer you when you're slimy. As I was saying, there's a list of things I want to do to you."

"Like what?"

"Well, we've seen what happens when you evolve. Now, I want to know what happens when you Devolve."

No, Alwin's worst fears had come true.

There was a bright flash as Alwin assumed his Dark Slime form.

"Ta-dah. I Devolved. That's what happens."

"You know what I mean, slime boy," Lapis said, as the drones started to clear the room of the oven and all of Lapis' baking equipment.

"I'm talking about true Devolution. It's never been done before, and I really want to see what happens. Will there be a Tribulation? What species will you turn into? How does Essence influence the process? Would it be possible for normal monsters to perform the same thing? Oh, so many questions and you have all the answers."

Alwin just sighed. Well, he didn't have anything better to do anyway.

"Fine."

"Yippee!" Lapis cheered.

"Yippee!" Mind Niwla thought.

"Okay, turn back into a Yin-Yang Slime and fill up that Devolution meter of yours with Dark Essence," Lapis said. "You do know how to refine Dark Essence, right?"

"Yup, unless I forgot. I vaguely remember it had something to do with a box."

"Good enough for me," Lapis said as she shut the door, leaving Alwin alone in the white room.

The speakers buzzed as she said, "Don't worry, I'll be watching everything in case something goes wrong. Good luck."

Alwin sighed again. He did not enjoy this part of the process.

With that, he closed his eyes and entered his Core.

Niwla and Winal were already there waiting for him. Winal was currently reserving a section within the Core for them to refine Dark Essence. Niwla was bouncing with excitement; he couldn't wait to learn what happens when you Devolve.

"So, Alwin. What was the process for refining Dark Essence again?"

"I put a box over a box over an even bigger box," he said flatly.

"Right… With how weird that is, I think only you have the ability to refine Dark Essence."

That immediately perked Alwin up. Who didn't like to be praised? Especially when it was about something only he could do.

"Just watch and learn, young one," Alwin said, hopping over to the empty space marked out by Winal.

In the center was a bucket of water that one of Winal's Mental Hands had scrounged up. Alwin looked at it and conjured a Mental Cardboard Box that completely covered it. Then, an even bigger Mental Cardboard Box went over the first. And finally, a much larger one, double the size of the previous one, consumed it.

"Now, we wait," Alwin said.

Niwla just rolled his eyes.

"Or…"

Behind him was an army of Winal's Mental Hands carrying buckets of mana.

"No!" Alwin shouted. Not more work.

As Alwin sat in the middle of the zone, covering bucket after bucket in Mental Cardboard Boxes. Every time he thought he was done, another bucket arrived. Then another.

Meanwhile, Winal brought the refined Dark Essence, box and all, to the edge of the Core. One by one, the Mental Hands tossed it out of the Core, allowing the Dark Essence to coat it.

Niwla, on the other hand, was stationed in the real world.

A unique part of his Core Skill was that he could assign where the Essence went, either into the Evolution Meter or the Devolution Meter. By default, everything went to the Evolution Meter, so Niwla spent his time moving every bit of Essence absorbed into the Devolution Meter, until he got the message.

Devolution Meter maxed out. Unable to absorb any more Essence.

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