I stared up at the ceiling. "You tried to kill me, and when it didn't work you made every day of my life so bad I almost wish you had… Do you have any idea how much I hate running…"

She clenched her fists. "I had no choice… I did the best I could to make you strong."

Her eyes were cast towards the ground. "That phrase, I do hate that…"

She slowly lifted her eyes to meet mine again. "What?"

"You always have choice… You weren't being mind-controlled. No one used magic on you. You had plenty of choices. Three extremely obvious ones."

'I hate it when people say they had no choice, as if saying that fate predetermined their actions. That takes away the most fundamental thing that makes us human, the most basic premise that all tactics are derived from.'

"What?" Her voice raised in pitch as if she was more confused at my calm demeanor than my answer itself.

'Maybe she never did… But I've had years to think about this…' I held up three fingers. "Firstly, you could have told the king to screw tradition, and prepared for war if necessary." I lowered a finger leaving two remaining. "Your second choice was to give up the noble title willingly. You used to be an adventurer anyway, good ones, so I doubt picking up that life again would have been hard."

"And the third?" She asked.

"Of course, the third option is what you chose to do, and we ended up where we are now. There are variations of these choices depending on how things would play out politically of course, but those are the three most obvious ones."

"The first two choices have too many downsides for me to call them logical, so of course, I can't hate you for not making them, they just aren't good moves. Still, they were choices that you could have made."

Her jaw moved slightly behind her closed lips, slowly moving her teeth together with a nod, hanging onto my every word.

"While I can't hate you for not making the first two… That doesn't mean I can forgive you for choosing the third option either."

"I see. So that's how it is then…" Her cold and calculating expression returned, and for the first time since I woke up, it felt like she was normal. Well, at least the "Normal" that I was used to anyway.

Having explained myself, my body began to feel heavy, every blink lasting longer. "Honestly, the easy solution would have been to just say I was an orphan you found in the forest. You could have also just ordered Jerry to say I was his daughter. Those options don't seem so bad either. But I guess you really hate lying for some reason…"

I lifted my casted arm up in front of my face to look at it. It was clearly made from some kind of leaves and vines that had been hardened somehow, leaving a comfortable and soft material, that was sturdy and hard on the outside. 'I wonder how this was made, it's kind of cool…'

"I'm sorry… It was selfish of me to try and comfort you." Her wistful eyes gazed out at the cold wintery landscape that sprawled around us. I had never seen her like that before. It was almost like she was sad, or like she was longing for something. Even I felt like I could guess what she was thinking. I tried not to though, afraid that sadness would be contagious…

Whenever I made Bhaltair angry, I admit that in turn made me feel happy, when I made someone sad though, even if it was her, I was left with nothing but a pit in my stomach.

I slowly rubbed my face. 'I guess I'm the one being cold and distant now… I really am a hypocrite… Nothing makes sense anymore…' I let out another sigh. "Mara…"

She turned around the streak of atearr glinting off her cheek. I couldn't believe it. I had tried so hard to make sure that I never cried in front of her, that I never showed weakness. Yet here she was, staring right at me with a tear falling from her eye… 'Nothing makes sense…' I repeated in my head. I was left speechless.

She wiped it away with her hand and cleared her throat. "Are you feeling better?" Her voice was unshaken, and her expression was still cold. It was almost as if it was all in my head.

"Yeah, I'll be fine… I just need some time to think…"

She opened her mouth but slowly closed it again before she could say a word. "If you need anything at all… Just ask… You've earned that much at least. You did pass all the tests you took," She smirked. "Well, technically."

'What exactly were the passing conditions… Don't die…' I watched her blankly as she turned to the door. 'That's the first time I've seen her smile like that… Like a weight was lifted off her shoulders, but at the same time… She looked so sad… I thought it was hard to read people before, but now it's just impossible. Am I the only one capable of saying what's on my mind? It's probably better I don't even try…Consideringg I thought my father was a good person…'

Seeing her leave. My heart ached as much as it did when she treated me like dirt. 'Why do I feel like this…' I clenched my fist as tightly as I could, "Thanks… For staying this time…" in a matter of seconds, I relaxed again, wanting to just disappear.

She didn't turn back, or even respond, just opened the door. When she did, I saw Catherine standing just outside, casually leaning against the wall.

"How long have you been here?" Mara grumbled.

"Well, I didn't want to interrupt such a sweet moment." She said with a wry smile. I didn't have any context, but I couldn't help but get the feeling that she was trying to say "I told you so."

'She heard all of that?' My facereddenedd at the thought. 'I didn't even do anything though… It was all Mara… So why am I the one feeling embarrassed…'

"Right… Well, you're her doctor, so it makes sense. Thank you…" Her footsteps slowly trailed away.

They traded positions, and Catherine was now the one by my side. "Who would have guessed you'd be as cold as her." She said bluntly as she grabbed a hold of my arm.

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"Should I have pretended to care? I suppose I could have tried to manipulate her to try and make my life a little bit easier."

Her face twisted as she looked over at me. "You scare me sometimes Siya…"

I sighed, admittedly feeling down about how everything ended. "I wouldn't actually do that… I'm not a good enough actor… I just told her the truth… It's not like I can change how I feel so easily…"

"I guess you're right."

'Why aren't I happy just at the fact that she doesn't want to kill me? Is it because of how wrong I was about her? I feel like I'm crossing my fingers before a dice roll, knowing that here loaded… What if in the end she ends up making the same choice as father… Maybe I'm just afraid to have someone care about me.'

Suddenly golden threads appeared all around me, suspending my arm in the air and flooding around me with a warm glow. "Are the painkillers working?"

I was too in awe to answer clearly. "That's" 'What on earth… So this is magic too?' I looked at each thread, plucking one with my hand. Golden dust dispersed into the air as an enchanted sound echoed through the air. "Wait, sorry what did you ask?"

She swatted my hand as I reached for it again. "No touching."

I quickly brought my hand back to my chest. "Sorry."

"I asked how the painkillers were working."

She moved the threads around me, spinning them as they recreated what looked like a perfect copy of my arm.

"That's what you're asking first?" 'I mean, even if they weren't working would it really be that big of a deal? I was never allowed to have any before now.'

She rolled her eyes. "Right, sorry, I meant how are you, my princess."

I felt a soft smile cross my face, "That's not what I meant."

She smiled back, confirming that she wasn't actually annoyed with me. "Stop assuming people can read your mind. Even if they know what you're thinking, how you're feeling is something else entirely."

I got the feeling we were talking about something else all of a sudden. So it was hard to respond. After completely duplicating my arm with magic, she began to weave the threads in even more detail, removing the skin and examining the bone. IT was a little gross, but alsosuperr cool.

"I know more about your condition than you do, so it's not like I need you to tell me what's wrong. Your stomach probably can't make up its mind whether it's full or not. I'm sure your head hurts too, like you haven't slept well in days. All of the obvious things, arm, shoulder, you probably haven't even noticed you sprained your left knee."

'I what? Wait… Literally how?'

She let out a sigh, crossing her hands before pulling them away from each other, dispersing the magic into thin air. "Who would have thought that after all this time you would end up crying into her arms of all people."

My whole body straightened as if I had started walking on pins and needles. "Well,it'ss not like I had a choice. She wouldn't let go… And that's not even what happened…"

"Come on, you know you needed a hug." She lowered my arm back down and placed her fingers on my temples, staring directly into my eyes.

I knew it was just another part of the examination, but after what she had started saying, all of a sudden it only made me feel embarrassed.

The glow coming from her pupils was almost blinding as it grew more and more intense. After a few moments they faded back to the soft green I was familiar with and she sat back down.

"Siya… Sometimes you know things you shouldn't but do you have any idea… Just how badly you're injured this time?"

'I mean… I thought I did…'

"My arm had an open fracture. It will take months to fully heal without magic. Still, as long as I don't use it and let it rest, it should heal since you set the bones properly… If that image really was my arm, then you used magic for sure. It will still take a few weeks, though, right?"

She let out a sigh. "As far as your arm is concerned you're not wrong. I already used some magic to speed up its healing, so make sure you eat as much as you can. A few weeks isn't a bad estimate either."

With a long pause, she stared at me. Her eyes were above mine though, like she was looking through me.

'Right… Mara said something strange earlier, didn't she?' "My gate… Is, shattered?"

She squinted, licking her fingers and grabbing a large strand of my hair. "You're not aware of everything else that happened then?"

I was beginning to worry, but her calm expression helped to ease the building tension. "Everything else…?"

She pulled down a strand of my hair in front of my face. It was ivory white and shined like a diamond reflecting light. 'Is this really my hair?' I followed the strand back to the root to make sure. Only then did I believe it.

'Wait… Is that such a bad thing though? It's kinda pretty.' I pulled down more of my hair, but it seemed like only that one streak had changed color. 'Ha, if my hair looked like this in my past life my dad would have gotten so mad.'

She slowly pushed my hair back again. "Your magic gate was forced open. It's not usually all that dangerous in itself, just uncomfortable. You feel an intense burning through your whole body, but then everything feels normal again after a bit of rest. Sound familiar?"

I nodded. 'That was exactly what I felt when I was with my father, just before the incident that broke my arm.'

"Right, the problem is what happened next. You completely drained your body of all its natural manna, shattering your gate. Honestly, it's a miracle you're even alive, but I guess it's not surprising given the amount of resilience you have built up. Of course, you had a little help."

She poked me right over my sternum, her finger pressing a pendant into my chest. 'The soul stone? Does that mean she knows what it does?' I pulled it out, looking at it closer, its brilliant light shimmering even more than I remembered.

"What exactly does this do anyway?"

She took it in her hand, looking at it more closely. "That brat. Don't let him see how bright it's getting, it'll just make him cocky."

"What…"

She let out another sigh. "Think of it like a protective charm. Try not to use though. In this instance it allowed him to share his manna with you, but he'd probably use it for something more dangerous if he had to…"

'More dangerous… Like what…' I sighed, moving on. "So if my magic gate or whatever is shattered, does that mean I can't use magic anymore?"

"Not until you fix it at least."

I leaned back against the headboard. "It's just one thing after another, isn't it…"

"I wouldn't worry, fixing it isn't hard, the bigger issue is that it happened in the first place. Since it was forced open by someone else, instead of you opening it on your own. It means you don't have a clear understanding of how much manna is in your body. That's the only reason this happened. Normally your body would shut down long before you got close to running out."

'I guess it would make sense that the shortcuts had downsides… Besides having to almost die several times, I mean…' I sighed, moving my hair behind my ear "Cathy… You know… There's something I haven't forgiven you for either…" 'I wish you would have just told me… I know you didn't do anything wrong, but it feels like you were taking his side.'

Her gaze slowly lowered. "You know… Whether you end up hating everyone, or forgiving us all… We're still going to do whatever we think is best for you. Even if you don't agree with it… Even if we don't agree with each other… At least I hope that's what we're all doing…"

Her eyes grew distant as if she was talking to a child's grave, instead of me. Suddenly my words felt incredibly selfish.

She hadn't said anything about it, but I had no reason to hold a grudge against her. Of all people, she was the most like a real mother to me, even if she still didn't exactly fit the role. Besides she was friends with my father, she had every right to keep his secrets… I guess… Justifying it didn't really feel right either though.

I slowly looked back out the window. "I know you probably don't see it like this… But if you had to pick a side, which side would you choose?"

She immediately understood the question. "You said you didn't hate Mara, what about the others? Would you kill them?"

There was an easy answer. "The only person I hate is Bhaltair… And even though I probably should have, I couldn't even bring myself to kill him… would have saved me an arm…"

She looked intently into my eyes. "Then I'd choose your side."

I felt my eyes soften, taking in her face. It was always rugged, battle-hardened, and stiff. In that moment though it was soft, almost like the face of a woman, rather than that of a warrior.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Say it again."

She raised her hands, clearly feeling awkward and not sure what to do. "Ah, alright already I said I'd be on your side just stop crying."

I wiped away the few tears I had, knowing I was still holding back many more. 'She would leave the lord she has been following for decades, since they were adventurers, and she would be on my side? Even if she's just saying that because she doesn't think she'll have to choose, I don't care.'

I tilted my head back with a deep breath to make sure the tears fully stopped. "Sounds like I have some work to do before I can use magic, right? I guess I better get started."

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