The slow ascension up to the top of the Shifting City drove a wedge of anticipation into my Elusian heart, eager for the view at the top of the rise. The shimmering blue doorways that were scattered about by the millions had varying decors and written guideposts around them, with further extensions in augmented reality. Much like the Elusians themselves, the settlement was a hybrid of man and machine—technology was interwoven with their society on every level. Nanobots filtered the air we breathed and the soil the metal tree burrowed into.
I gazed upward toward the sun, getting immediate warnings as the nanobots tried to darken my vision. "Hey, Corai. If this planet is really a gazillion years old, why hasn't the sun exploded? Is it a nanosun?"
The Elusian snorted with amusement. "No, but that's a good question. When a star is at the end of its life cycle, we warp it out of the system and bring a new one in."
"Ah. Casual. Hardly an inconvenience."
"How do you know there wasn't already life around those stars?" Sagua asked.
"Oh, intelligent life? We check for that far ahead of time and before we complete the transfer," the Elusian answered.
Mikri's glowing eyes darkened. "The implication is you are not concerned with existing life and its value unless it meets your standards. Define 'intelligent life.'"
"That depends which justiciary you ask. If you're asking me and the broader scientific community, the usage of tools and language are required to merit a higher level of concern. Bacterial life can spring up on many planets, but the question is where you draw the line."
"Why not just warp your planet around a different star and not harm any existing lifeforms?"
"For sentimental reasons, if I'm honest. The Elusians want to preserve our home system. In all of this time, it's important to hold onto where we came from. I have those files saved, of course, but anything from when I was growing up…feels like I'm watching someone else's memories."
Sagua knitted her brows together, a troubled glint in her blackened eyes. "Have you lost that feeling of closeness with your family?"
"I don't know that I ever had it, but what I've lost is that…excitement of just running around. Endless summer days in the Vanishing Pools. I see that in you, walking around here, that wonder. You're everything Elusians aren't, especially Preston."
I struck a pose, jutting out a hip with a suggestive smirk. "What? Handsome?"
"I was going to say exciting, fiery, and random, enough so to make me laugh, but I suppose it wouldn't be inaccurate to say you're an above average specimen of your species as well."
"Uh, that's…" I could feel a blush forming in my cheeks, taken aback by such a straightforward answer from Corai. She must have a hard time understanding the dynamics of risqué jokes, to agree so scientifically, though I was flattered…if she had a lot of data from her time as a Watcher. "It's all in the peachcakes, madam."
"Is it now? You wear Estai's well also, though my preference is toward your original form. Bodies don't mean that much to me, since they can be changed with ease; it's the way you carry yourself that bestows magnetism."
Er, what? I've never had anyone just agree, I thought to myself, flummoxed. Ah, you're embarrassing me, Corai—well played.
Mikri slapped his chassis. "I am metal. I have more magnetism."
"Don't humor Estai, Corai," Sagua warned. "We were having a serious conversation. How can we help you rediscover your childhood self?"
"You already are." Corai gave a gentle smile, and in spite of myself, I once again felt pity for the Elusians' misery with life. "If you yourselves would like to see what it's actually like to view someone else's memories, that's what I was leading you toward. Memorywalking is one of the most popular forms of entertainment. We can upload anything we stored on our brain-computer interface."
I raised a slender finger. "Nuh-uh. I don't want anyone peering inside my skull."
"It's voluntary, Estai. I meant for you to pick from a vast database of Elusian memories. Perhaps you can appreciate some of our experiences, from a random array of things we thought worth sharing."
"Oh, I'd love to know why you're all like this and what's knocking around that gray chicken egg on your shoulders. Life's not so bad, you know."
Corai forced a smile. "No, but it's not so good either. Through this doorway, and we'll join the line for the memorywalk AR simulators. You can do it in your head, but it's better when it's tangible."
"Can I upload embarrassing memories I have of Estai?" Mikri chimed in.
"I'm not sure we're equipped to translate your code to an organic sensory experience, but I do wish you could."
The Vascar folded his metal arms and pouted, though he trudged after Corai and the two of us through the portal doorway. I could see hundreds of lines spreading out in a radial pattern from the lobby, like a star. Following our Watcher guide's lead, I found my way into a small queue with the rest of our traveling posse. Another Elusian turned around to apprise us, before showing a visible reaction to the presence of both Corai and Mikri. The expression seemed to have traces of…contempt, which got me feeling defensive of my robot pal.
"The humans' pet, on Suam. How quaint," the scornful voice resonated into my consciousness. Judging by how Corai and Sagua tensed, it was broadcast to all of us. "At least now you can see what real organics are capable of. No wonder you thought so lowly of our kind at first—and how right you were."
A growl rumbled in Mikri's chest. "I am not a pet. I am not a lesser being! I go where I want, when I want, with who I want. What I see in the Elusians is the cruelty organics are capable of, just like my creators. All the technology in the universe does not hide what you are."
"Mikri, that's enough," Sagua warned forcefully. "I know you've said in the past that you won't tolerate insults against…humans, but this isn't the time to pick a fight."
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The Elusian ahead of us in line offered a cold smile. "Shoddy coding. An amateur in high school could have better patchwork than this volatile mess. I'm not sure what game the Watchers are playing, but the human project should have been shut down a long time ago."
I gritted my teeth, feeling my neck muscles tighten. "What do you mean? You think y—we should just abandon every creation we dream up?"
"I do not like what you said earlier," Mikri added, whirring with frustration that threatened to boil over. "I thought lowly of organics because I did not see the generosity and kindness that humans were capable of, which is what has made them special to me. Why would you speak down upon such a wonderful species, who deserve a much better creator than you motherfuckers?"
The gray alien stranger didn't react at all to the profanity. "Emotion does not deny the objective truth, and a machine should know this. If we sought an equal in the humans, we didn't find it. They're hardly more than animals. They aren't equals just because they can go through the portals we made for them. Humans could never understand our tech; can you imagine them comprehending what it's like to live in Elusian society? Their little primate brains would explode!"
"Ha, would they now?" I burst out laughing, and Sagua's head snapped toward me in warning; she grabbed my elbow and squeezed, with an almost imperceptible head shake. "Yeah, it's hilarious. What a ridiculous thought: humans would never be able to find their way around Suam. Can you imagine them scratching their asses around the streets of the Shifting City? They'd get one little nanobot in their colon and their hinies would explode, like BOOM! And that's where their brains are, so…"
The Elusian stared blankly. "What the fuck?"
"It's a Watcher thing. You wouldn't get it. In-jokes: watching those animals rubs off on you. You lose some brain cells in a tundra here and there, crack open a few cold ones and woops, it's a bottle of bleach, and accidentally get imprisoned in a lacrosse net for a millennia—it does things to you. Life's hard."
"How much time did you spend watching their media? You can hardly cobble together a cogent sentence. This is the dumbing down effect that humans would have on our society, hurling us back into a primordial cesspool and dragging us down. They don't have intelligent conversations, which must be why you've come back with wires so crisscrossed."
"Must be. I hate humans."
Mikri's eyes had turned red, but Sagua grabbed him before he could take a swipe at the Elusian's eyes. "I HAVE CHOSEN YOU AS JAMBALAYA! Nobody talks about humans that way. PUT ME DOWN!"
I was forcing myself not to say anything visceral, and to be content fucking with the Elusian rather than letting the pit of anger explode; I was seething to hear him discuss my people in such a manner. It was important to blend in, and that meant not drawing attention to myself. Sagua was right to stop us from leaping to humanity's defense, as much as it burned my pride. I just had to ignore that bigot, and go about my day. We had a mission to do with the Justiciary that superseded my wishes.
"You have so little idea the ignorance you are spewing!" Corai's eyes simmered with rage, as she placed herself menacingly in front of the other Elusian and spoke aloud. My jaw dropped, surprised to hear the Watcher pipe up with an impassioned defense. "How many billions of years have we had—longer? They've had a mere million, less than the cycles in my lifespan. They had nothing given to them, and in fact, they had it harder than us!"
The other Elusian frowned. "But Watcher Corai, they've yet to even make their own portals from scratch. Comparing humans to us is ludicrous."
"You're right; it is ludicrous! You're comparing peoples at two different phases of development, so it's an equation set up to always maintain our superiority. Look at how fast they grow rather than the height of the tech bloom. Or would you expect your child to pop out of the womb using raisers?"
"N-no…"
"Why not? Because they have to, I don't know, have time to learn?"
"So you expect us to wait forever?"
"I expect you to acknowledge how remarkable a species that can process 5D space, a feat already beyond our capacity, could be if given the same time that we've been afforded to reach their full potential! I see a species that is driven, tenacious, and if you want to compare something—compare how much we've progressed in the last million years versus them. Elusians aren't going anywhere, so what's the rush? Why are you so quick to judge them?"
"You're impressed with fucking gunpowder!"
"I'm impressed with anything new that had to be discovered. You don't know them, and it's an arrogant part of you that needs to be better than them—to think you're more intelligent because you have a wealth of technology at your disposal. I'm not so foolish. I know we had everything handed to us from birth, and that's the difference."
"I don't need to defend our accomplishments from delusional statements about the humans. My memorywalk chamber is available, and praise the eternal void. I'm done talking to you—done!"
As the Elusian stormed off, I looked at Corai with new respect, reevaluating her. "You say you don't care, and then you go and own that guy with gusto. You're a walking contradiction. Like, why did you stick up for us? I don't understand you."
Corai placed a hand on my shoulder, closing her eyes. "Perhaps I could show you. You don't have to pick a person's memory at random; I can upload one of mine. You can see Earth as I did."
"I…think I'd like that."
"Excellent. It'll be one at a time in the simulator. You both should see this, but knowing which of you harbored the most doubts about my intent, I'd like Estai to be the first. I wish he could see me as I really am, for better or for worse."
I gave her a slight nod. "I'm sorry for judging you, Corai. What you did here meant a lot, hearing you…respect us. That's all I wanted from our creators, you know."
"Oh, Est…Preston." Corai's hand tightened around my tense muscles, and I relaxed slightly beneath her palm's smooth skin. Her voice was as sweet as honey in my mind's ear. "I know that. I wish I had a better way to give you the comfort that you deserve. Whatever anyone else thinks, humanity has never disappointed me. I am with you in any way that I can be."
"We're a team. You're one of us," I decided. "I sincerely apologize though, now you're stuck with Mikri's rusted bolt smell. It gets worse after a shower, believe it or not."
The Vascar smiled. "I prefer to go in the washer. It is spinny, and it has a window!"
"I'm afraid Suam is all out of laundromats. You'll have to take that up with big nanobot chainmail," Corai chuckled. "Are you sure the rusty smell is coming from Mikri?"
I turned toward Sagua, sniffing her as she jumped away with irritation. "Yep. Mikri's the only possibility. Unless…you are pretty ancient. Do I need to sniff you too?"
"Hm. Well, you are the stubborn sort. I won't resist," Corai said coyly, a teasing lilt in her voice.
"I'll…keep that in mind. I'll settle for walking in your memories for now; you need to send me whatever 'zippity-doo-dah probing in the name of science' anecdotes you've saved to the cloud. If that doesn't make you feel something, I can't help you sick fucks!"
The Elusian barely bit down a snicker. "We're beyond saving, but I'm afraid the contents of my memories are much more wholesome and sincere. I…hope this recollection can put my motives in perspective, Estai. I don't shy from judgment; I want to share my life and my feelings as they were."
The nanobot interface notified me that I'd received a file, and Corai sent instructions for how to link up to the memorywalking chamber once there was an available slot. I intended to give our Watcher ally an honest chance, after everything she'd done to help us. The more time I spent around the million-year-old Elusian, the softer she seemed as a person; it was easy enough to banter with her, and Sagua and I could ask anything our hearts desired. Maybe I'd been too hard on her.
Corai had a playful side, and a warmth toward us that colored her words. I knew that she was taking a great risk to continue helping us in spite of the visions, though I hadn't cared much about that until now. I understood how lost her species was, and had seen airtight proof that she cared about humanity. The question was whether Corai's actions in the past would force me to condemn her for sitting on the sidelines. I wanted to believe she was a good person, but I suspected seeing from her point of view would give me the most definitive answer on that account.
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