"What!?" Rin exclaimed, looking between Alexis and I.

Alexis was initially shocked before realizing my plan and smiling warmly.

"So you also believe we won't save the city this time around?" She said, a sardonic smile playing on her lips.

I nodded.

"Unfortunately, even the level of preparation we've done so far won't be enough. Even though you and all the other people in the city are just part of this trial, I can't let everyone struggle and die in vain, and I'm not the only one who suffers if she dies." I said, giving Rin an apologetic glance. It was my fault she was in this trial to begin with. She gave me a small smile, I couldn't see the judgment in her eyes, but I knew it was there.

"This all restarts when I die anyways, so it'll be better if we just get it over with now." I told her. It was weird asking someone to kill me, but wasting the day fighting just to die anyways seemed like a waste. At least this way other people wouldn't have to suffer because of me…again.

Rin still looked uncomfortable about the situation, but didn't say anything further. Alexis had a sad look on her face as she unsheathed her sword and I closed my eyes. Knowing how strong Alexis was, I knew she could make it as painless as possible.

"Thank you, Astra, and good luck." Alexis said, right before a white hot pain invaded my head followed by a freezing cold sensation, then numbness, then everything went dark.

Moments later I woke up, once again in the center of a bustling city street in Shironia. I quickly made my way to a nearby alley and waited for the headache to set in. Despite my fears, the headache this time was much less intense. Rather, I felt a cool, soothing sensation flood through my head making me a little light headed.

I waited for a little longer before getting up from the ground. I momentarily thought about summoning Shimmer, but that thought reminded me that I forgot to ask Alexis why Shimmer shouldn't be summoned. We would have to ask her this time after convincing her about the trial. I strode off toward the White Forest Guild, a bud of hope blooming within me for this attempt at the trial.

I arrived at the guild hall and found Rin waiting for me at the reception desk. She waved over to me and then said something to the receptionist. I hurried over and we were lead through the hallways behind the guild and into a small room where Alexis was waiting for us. There was no recognition in her eyes but she still smiled at us.

"Welcome, young ladies, it's always a pleasure to see promising young talent show interest in the guild. I am Alexis Everwood, guild master of the White Forest guild. Now tell me, what are your names?" she asked.

"I'm Astra, and this is Rin." I told her, gesturing to my companion who smiled and waved at Alexis.

"And this isn't the first time we've met." I followed up, hoping to pique her interest. She arched an eyebrow and looked at both of us.

"That's strange, I don't remember either of you and I have an incredible memory." She said. She closed her eyes momentarily and cocked her head right and left as if trying to jog her memory.

"Would it help if I told you that you should be unwavering in your belief that your life is your own to live and not even the strongest of tempests may fell a tree with deep enough roots?" I asked. Her eyes flew open and a look of utmost suspicion crossed her face, her jovial attitude gone in an instant, replaced with cold calculation.

"Now how did you know to say something like that to me?" She asked, a deadly edge to her voice.

"You told us, that if we said that to you, we'd be able to earn your trust this time around." I said. She frowned.

"Again, I'm put in the unenviable position of not remembering telling you that phrase. And what do you mean by 'this time around'? You had better start explaining. Soon." She nearly growled, clearly frustrated.

I nodded and told her everything that had happened to Rin and I on the previous days from finding the trial, my first few awful tries, finally finding Rin, and up to the very last moments with the demonic horde on the horizon, the fate of Shironia sealed in time oh so many years ago.

Alexis had a grave look on her face as I finished my recounting of the events.

"I admit I was… skeptical during your story. But now that I've heard it, I'm afraid I have no choice but to believe you. No one should know that phrase. It's something I've only ever thought within my own mind. But… a demonic invasion in four days? It's hard to believe with the recent reports, but something within me is supporting the veracity of your words. I suppose we're going to need to rally the other nobles and speak with the city lord. Is there anything else I told you before you…came back?" She asked. I thought about Shimmer and decided now was a perfect time to have her explain what was wrong with my summon.

"Yes, actually… when we arrived on top of the ramparts, we were traveling with my spirit companion, but you told me to un-summon her and to not bring her out again. I was hoping you could explain now, when no one else is around." I said, a bit of trepidation welling up within me. She stiffened, a slightly ill look on her face.

"Can you summon her for me?" She asked, hesitation in her voice. I nodded and called forth Shimmer. She coalesced between Rin and I and hopped up onto the table between us and Alexis. Alexis's eyes went wide before she closed them and sighed.

"It is as I feared. The nine-tailed fox of destiny. It's no surprise I told you to un-summon her. The nine-tailed fox has quite the storied history. Though it's somewhat a complicated story at this point considering the threat of the demons. You should know what dangers you'd be in if you summon her in front of others and aren't under my personal protection or that of my guild. It's a bit of a story, but I'll try to condense it down.

Centuries ago, the largest threat in the universe for our faction was not the demons, for they had not yet crossed into our plane. No, the greatest threat to us in the universe was the Church of the Myriad Dao. They are a truly evil faction. They believe that all of the myriad dao in the universe stem from one source. They're zealots, plain and simple. They have no qualms with killing, or 'purifying' as they call it, anyone and everyone who stands in the way of their proselytizing.

They've tormented the Allied Sects for so long and the only reason they haven't been wiped out yet is that they're scarily proficient at hiding their base of operations, 'The Cathedral', and the strength of their leader, Ylvaria Slaine. Ylvaria is one of the strongest cultivators currently in the universe and also one of the cruelest. She's been reported to have slaughtered entire planets on a whim. She's just as deadly as she is beautiful, and one of the reasons she's considered to be one of the strongest cultivators in the universe, is that she never fights alone." Alexis said. My heart tightened. Alexis, having seen my expression nodded.

"That's right. Ylvaria Slaine fights alongside her spirit companion. The nine-tailed fox of destiny. It would not be an exaggeration to say that her spirit companion is a harbinger of death, the mere sight of which indicates that your end is nigh. Anyone who sees you walking around with your companion will be reminded of Ylvaria and her heinous acts, or they will think you're a member of the church. While the Allied Sects and the Church are currently maintaining a tenuous truce until the demon threat is eradicated, old wounds leave deep scars." She finished.

We were silent for a few moments, just taking in all of the information she had given us. The Church of the Myriad Dao sounded way too much like the church of the One True Dao for my comfort, and my spirit technique being the same as what amounted to the most evil sounding woman in history didn't make me feel great either.

"Wow! So Astra, Shimmer is going to become strong enough that she'll be able to fight against some of the strongest people in the universe with you?!" Rin asked, and I blinked.

"Isn't it concerning to you that Shimmer is part of the same ability that Ylvaria Slaine has used to mass murder swaths of the universe?" I asked her. She cocked her head.

"Of course not? Why would it? Shimmer is such a sweet little fox, and from what I've seen of you, you're not going to go on some murdering rampage anytime soon… well… unless they're Inferno Scorpion Sect members I suppose." She finished sheepishly.

I lowered my gaze. She couldn't know that. I…I had already caused so much death.

I felt myself starting to shake and crossed my arms instinctively. Within a few moments, a cooling sensation washed over me and I felt Rin's hand touch my shoulder. I flinched back slightly and looked up at the concerned expression on her face.

No. I couldn't let her know…what…what would she think of me? Now that she's heard about Ylvaria, and about Shimmer, she'll know I'm just as bad as Ylvaria was. Will I become an enemy to all my friends one day? Will I keep causing death all around me? Will I- A hard slap across the face sent my spiraling thoughts flying.

"Astra! Snap out of it!" Rin said, looking at me with a worried expression on her face. Alexis was also nearby, channeling the cool sensation I was feeling into me to help soothe me. Shimmer was nudging my arm with her nose until I absently started scratching her.

"I…uh what?" I said, not sure what was happening.

"We were talking, then you got this awful look on your face like you were in pain or something bad had happened. Then all of a sudden, we felt something weird flow over us like when the grand elder demonstrates his domain and Alexis told me to help you come to your senses." She said. I flushed. I had unconsciously released my pseudo domain and almost wreaked elemental balance havoc on the guild hall.

Rin was looking at me with that look that everyone had been looking at me with lately. The look of someone who wants to ask you what is wrong and if they can help. I didn't need help. And I didn't want to talk about what I was feeling. No one would understand anyway.

Alexis was also staring at me, but she suddenly got a knowing look on her face before sitting back down.

"If you'd allow me to tell you another story from the past, I think it may help with what Astra is going through, at least at this moment." She said. I disagreed that it would help and I didn't need help, but I couldn't exactly just tell her that without offending her. I nodded and righted myself in my chair, Rin following suit as Alexis lightly cleared her throat before starting her story.

"My mother was the third born daughter of a lesser noble in charge of a small star system in the Elytrian empire.

She was a cultivation genius, and lauded as the future hope of the family. That was until her father, my grandfather, decided she would be better off married to another noble for political favors. Luckily, the baron's son was kind and strong and the pair naturally fell in love. Then I was born, and a few years later my brother followed. Much like my mother, I was considered a genius cultivator, but my brother had no talent for it. Regardless of our proficiencies, our family was a loving one and tight knit. That was until a few months before my eighth birthday." She started before diving into what was surely going to be a long story.

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***

A loud knock at our front door woke me up from my nap. I got up and went off to investigate. I ran down the hall until I got to the main entryway. I peeked around the corner to see the head maid, Geraldine, answering the door. A man I had never seen was saying something to her. After a little bit I saw her look like Mom when I showed her the pretty art I drew for her on the walls. Then she fell to the floor and the man ran forward to catch her. She must have been hurt! I needed to help her!

I ran forward, using the cultivation practice Dad and Mom taught me to be super fast.

"Geraldine! What's wrong? Are you hurt?" I asked, patting her all over like I'd see Dad do when Mom got back from one of her trips.

She looked over at me, tears in her eyes as she looked super sad and hugged me.

"I'm so sorry young miss…it's…it's your parents." She said, though I didn't understand what she meant. She told me Mom and Dad were hurt and weren't coming home. Ever. But I didn't understand. Once they got better they would be coming back, right?

But they never did come back. No, instead a lot of other people came to our house. None of them would tell me what was going on either. Then one day they dragged Ethan and I out to something they called a cemetery and made us watch as they lowered two big boxes into the ground. Everyone was crying but they still wouldn't tell me what was happening.

The next day a scary man showed up at our house. He said he was Mom's Dad and said he would be taking care of Ethan and I from now on. I didn't want to leave home for when Mom and Dad came back but he didn't listen, he took us with him and from then on I never saw Mom or Dad again.

The next few years were frustrating. Instead of learning from Mom and Dad and playing with Ethan, grandpa made me take all kinds of classes and learn from strangers.

This continued until I reached sixteen years old. That's when everything changed.

I was winding down from the day's training when grandfather walked into the room. I held back the disdain I felt for the man. He took Ethan and I away from our home. He had taken care of us over the years, but I couldn't truly consider the way he treated us as anything a family member would.

He ignored the fact I was ignoring him and spoke.

"Alexis. You've finally become old enough that you can be of use to the family. We'll be sending you out on your first mission tomorrow." He told me. I frowned.

"And what will this mission entail?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Just a simple mission to begin. You're not used to taking missions for the family yet, so consider the first few missions an opportunity for you to show your value to the family. A low level demon beast around your level was reported terrorizing one of the peasant villages nearby. It was reported about a month ago, but there wouldn't have been much of a point sending one of our high level guards to go deal with it so we saved it for your first mission. Go out and show us what you can do." He said. I seethed. If they had received the report so long ago, they should have gone out to deal with it. How long had the villagers suffered because of this delay?

My hand was in pain from how hard I was squeezing my training sword, but I did my best to quell my anger. There would be no point in getting angry at grandfather. I had learned that lesson in the past, the wounds hidden beneath my clothes throbbed. He ignored the clear signs of my distaste, if he had noticed them at all.

"Very well." I said, terse in my response and Grandfather nodded before walking away.

Once he was gone, I took out my anger on the training dummy across the room, the innocent wooden mannequin exploding into thousands of ice covered shards. I heaved and sighed, resigning myself to what I needed to do. I went back to my room and packed for the mission.

The next day I, and family watchers disguised as 'guards to ensure my safety during the mission', departed. We arrived at the village, I defeated the demon beast that was terrorizing them without issue, and returned home. A few weeks later, I was given another mission. It was innocuous enough this time as well. I completed each mission that Grandfather gave me over the next few years. They started out just like the first, simple missions that helped the villages around, growing their appreciation towards our family.

For the first year I didn't mind the missions. They aligned with my wishes and goals, I was helping people. But after the first year, the missions slowly started changing. A delivered missive here, a secret escort mission into a shady rendezvous there. As time went on my missions changed from helping people in our lands, to helping Grandfather.

Then came a tipping point.

It seemed to be a simple mission, investigate the lacking taxes coming from one of the outer villages deep within the underdeveloped part of our territory. We traveled to the village and, after speaking with the village elder, I learned that Grandfather has been slowly cutting off support to the village and they cut off their tax payments in protest. I frowned, because that information wasn't in the mission information.

I went to the leader of the retinue of family guards that had accompanied me on every outing since my first mission. Despite the small camaraderie I felt we had garnered over the years , I knew they were Grandfather's eyes and ears, reporting back to him my every movement. I explained the situation to him and told him we would be returning to Grandfather to discuss why the village was cut off. The leader nodded and we decided we'd leave the following morning, but I wasn't so lucky.

I woke up in the dead of night to the sounds of screams and the roar of an inferno. I ran out of my tent, disheveled from my abrupt awakening, into a bloody massacre.

The village was engulfed in flames. Myriad bodies lined the streets, cut in twain by swords or charred by the ongoing inferno around them. I watched in horror as a pair of children, running to escape the flames were mercilessly executed by one of the very men and women whom I had traveled with the past few years. I moved to stop them, unsheathing my sword, the Qi in my dantian quivering in rage. Before I could move even a few steps the leader of my watchers stepped in front of me.

"Lady Alexis. I would advise against attempting to stop us. We're under strict orders from your Grandfather. We're merely carrying out his will." He said, a placid, unwavering, look on his face.

"How could you all do this! These villagers needed our support! Our protection!" I yelled at him. He remained unmoving and silent.

My rage bubbled over and I attacked the man easily more powerful than me, but I didn't care. How could I stay still when such a monstrous act was being carried out before me? The idea was anathema to my very being. I fought with all my might, but I couldn't overcome the difference in our power. Once I was exhausted, he knocked me out, and by the time I woke up, we had returned to Grandfather's estate. I seethed. I raged against the impotence I felt. What had all my idealism and morals amounted to if I couldn't protect even one village? I vowed I would kill Grandfather for what he had done, but I couldn't yet. First I needed to escape with Ethan, bide my time, and gather my power.

I skulked through the halls of the estate until I made it to Ethan's room, I would need to quietly escape with him to eventually get my revenge. I opened his door, ready to beckon him to our liberation, but the sight of Grandfather sitting in a chair in the empty room flooded my veins with ice.

"Ah. Alexis, good of you to join me." He said, beckoning me to move forward. I remained where I stood, every bit of distance between us mattered at this point.

"I'm sure you're wondering where your brother is. Well, after the massacre you perpetrated in that poor remote village, I felt it prescient to move Ethan somewhere safer where he couldn't be corrupted by you. Worry not, I'm keeping him very safe, and he'll stay that was as long as you repent for your crime." He continued. My mind ground to a halt.

Me? Massacre?

"How. Dare. You." I gritted out through my teeth.

"It was your heinous orders, and the men you set by my side who killed all those people."

He shook his head.

"It's common knowledge that you've led that band of men and women for years. They have been very vocal about their loyalty to you. And me? I would never order such a thing. In fact, I've already spread word of how much I am grieving for those lost souls. I've vowed to punish those responsible. I've already disposed of those traitorous soldiers, and you'll be imprisoned and forced to carry out missions for the family until you've made up for the heinous act you committed."

The realization of the true depths of depravity within my Grandfather sent me spiraling. I lost control of myself and attacked him with the most powerful attack I could muster, but before I could exact my revenge, I was tackled to the ground by the hidden protectors my Grandfather always had around him. I screamed incoherent sounds of anguish, loathing, and desperation. Begging him to just release Ethan and I. Before I was once again knocked out I heard his smug voice spit out one final dagger into my heart.

"I'll make good use of your insignificant life. Just like I did with your detestable mother."

And then everything went black.

When I woke up I panicked at first. My eyes were open but I couldn't see anything. It wasn't until a few moments later that I realized it was simply pitch dark where I was. I tried to pull myself off the ground to figure out where I was when I was arrested by the chains around each of my wrists and ankles. I frowned and tried to freeze them solid to break free from them, but they simply absorbed the Qi I was trying to flow into them. A dawning horror sprung into my mind as I struggled against the chains holding me.

After a futile minute of attempting escape I flopped to the ground, exhausted from my exertions. Without being able to invigorate myself with my Qi, I was only slightly better than a mortal, even with my core formation realm cultivation. Heavy footfalls upon cragged stone stole my attention and I turned toward them, waiting with baited breath until a sliver of light split the darkness in front of me.

A man I didn't recognize walked into the room, placed a tray of unappetizing food and water onto the ground in front of me and then walked out, not even acknowledging my existence.

At first I didn't eat, in protest of my treatment, but after different people came in and replaced the tray a few times a day without change I realized how futile such a protest would be. I ate the meals from then on and a week later, based on the amount of meals they brought, I was finally paid a visit by Grandfather. He walked into the room, as hearty and hale as ever and looked down at me with that contemptibly smug smile.

"I see you're holding up well. It's time to begin your repentance missions. You have a lot of evil deeds to repay." He said and I could only seethe silently. Until I could break free, find Ethan, and escape from under his thumb, I would need to play the obedient slave.

And then the missions began again. They would take off the heavy metal chains and replace them with the metaphorical chains of my supposed crimes and Ethan's life. I wouldn't let them have their way forever. Over the next half a decade I secretly cultivated. I took every cultivation potion I could get my hand on, used every pill that would harm my foundation in the long run, and absorbed the cores from every demon beast I could without alerting my watchers to my plans. I didn't care about how it would affect my foundation at the end. If I could escape with Ethan, then it would all be worth it.

I hid my cultivation well, not even Grandfather expected me to have reached the domain creation realm but it was a power of middling strength. Not even a fraction of the strength of a true domain creation realm cultivator. Bought on loan with future cultivation potential as collateral. But that didn't matter, by the time Grandfather realized his mistake, I had turned his entire estate into a giant glacier visible from space, with him locked inside. I tracked down each and every one of his dogs and routed them. Cleansing the universe from their vile influence. I managed to squeeze out the location of where Grandfather had stashed Ethan and rushed there. But as if it was his final act of malevolence from the grave, all I found within the secluded estate was a pile of bones and tattered cloth in the basement.

I was lost for a time, I wandered the universe in search of a place to end my own life. To join my parents and brother. But then I found a small mercenary group. They were vulgar, rowdy, and always got into trouble. But their leader truly cared about people. And whenever they were offered gifts from the people they saved they always found ways to return them ,and then some, saying things like 'taking from people in need will leave a bad taste in our mouths!'. They fought like mad to protect the weak, and never bowed too deeply to the strong. At first I didn't like them, but as I spent more time with them, our paths crossing time after time, I grew to love them. I stopped wandering around to find somewhere to end my life, and instead traveled around with them, helping whomever we could. I slowly told them about my past and my family, each of them getting furious or sad on my behalf. After the leader retired, finally convincing the strict and loving matron of the tavern we frequented to marry him, he handed over the reins of the group to me. I protested, but each and every one of my comrades supported the decision.

The leader, having seen the scars of my past heal over time told me to remember that phrase. That it would give me strength and remind me to keep my resolve. From there, I grew that small mercenary group up into a powerful guild.

***

After Alexis finished her story, I could feel tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, I looked over to Rin who was outright bawling from the story. Alexis had a sad, but calm expression on her face. The beginning of the story pulled dangerously at my heart. It's resemblance to my own past not lost on me.

I swallowed down the urge to let my tears out to ask a question.

"I'm sorry that happened to you. That sounds…awful. Why did you tell us your story?" I asked, worried it might be a little insensitive to ask. She smiled.

"Well I just thought it might be helpful for you to hear. For years I endured the hateful voices of many. They believed I was a mass murderer, but I endured it all. After spending time with my future guild mates I realized that I didn't need to bother with what people thought about me. It was what I did with my power that people remember to this day. And it's those same things that reinforce my own feeling of self worth and keeps me grounded." She said, looking at me kindly. I flushed. I had calmed down significantly through listening to her story and felt a little silly about my breakdown.

Just because Ylvaria had used the same spirit companion didn't mean I would become like her. And Alexis was probably right, as long as I did what I thought was right, I would be fine.

"Now, we got a little sidetracked, but you having the same spirit companion as Ylvaria actually helps us." Alexis said, immediately drawing Rin and I's attention.

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