Alternative Medicine

"Boss! Boss! If you see a light, and it's red and flickering go towards it. Otherwise stay with us! Stay with us, dammit!" I heard Chum's voice, as I dropped in and out of consciousness.

Pain was beginning to be replaced by numbness, and I had the vague sense that this time I might not have the five minutes it took for my magical healing to kick in. Did we have any potions with us?

World went black. Hands, shaking me, tearing my wounds wider and pain returning.

"Alex? Alex are you- Fuck. Wait, what are you doing?" Anna's voice came to me. I was laying in the soft moss of the forest, I blinked and saw setting sun reflected in a drop of water.

I blacked out again.

I awoke to burning, stabbing pain, in each of my wounds. I jerked awake, screaming. As my eyes flipped open, there was still that sunset light. Only minutes had passed. The pain was unbearable, and it wasn't letting up. I screamed, entirely out of control of my own body. At one point I saw the concerned face of Anna. Mostly I saw the bloody and tattered rags of Adam. It lasted for somewhere between a minute and two hours. And when it went, it went all at the same time. In my painful thrashing I hadn't really seen what had gone on, but as I suddenly felt… fine if somewhat sore, I took deep breaths and opened my eyes.

I looked down to my body, and saw that I was undressed to my undies. My wounds were gone, but in each of the spaces they had been, a strip of bandage was hanging out, grown into my skin in a perfect seal. "What the fuck," I said, and was surprised to find my voice perfectly healthy, not even hoarse from screaming. I sat up, and found that similarly effortless. I looked around the clearing for my three companions and found them. Anna was rushing towards me from where she'd begun setting up camp a few dozen feet away. Chum was above us, keeping watch, presumably.

And Adam was crouched over the body of the worm, many of his bandages unraveled, attacking the corpse with his teeth in a matter so unlike his recently refined character. He looked like a ghoul, or a beast, devouring a mouthful after bloody mouthful of flesh, scraping away the skin with his clawed fingers and letting out satisfied and angry, snarly sounds.

"It worked, thank fuck," Anna said. "Y- yeah. It really did. Almost as good as my recovery skill," I said. "Should have taken health potions," Anna said. "We talked about it. Most people in the Guild have worse odds of survival than us, they need them more," I said. "Could have fucking taken one at least," Anna said. "Look, it worked out, didn't it?" I said, then looked over to Adam, "Didn't it?" "I think he'll be fine. He did ask me to drag him towards the corpse after he used the ability. He was fighting back too, but when he smelled blood he leaped for it, just like he said he would. The healing looked pretty gnarly, you okay?" Anna said. "Just pain, what the fuck happened?" I said. "Well, you were grabbed by this big fucking flying worm," Anna said. "Fuck off. I mean after that. How did he kill the thing?" I said.

Anna shivered and looked a bit sick.

"I didn't really get it, I wasn't like right there. But after a moment of pressing his hand against the creature, it went in. The hand I mean. Into the worm. And then he just sort of… stepped in," Anna said. "What the fuck kind of ability is that?" I said. "I know. And how would it work on something smaller?" Anna said. "Eugh. Useful, I guess," I said. It was useful, but the thought of him writhing through the body of the worm, even as it was trying to eat me was disconcerting to say the least. Still, it was not like bludgeoning someone to death with blocks of ice was actually any kinder. It just seemed that way from my end of the spell.

Adam let out a groan of pain or a moan of pleasure or some mix of both, as he stood straight, then leaned back facing the sky.

"How much do you trust him?" Anna said. "Don't judge a book by the cover?" I said. "I mean, really, how did you meet?" Anna said. "I think he was supposed to be indoctrinated as a monster of the Tower. I sort of got him out in the middle of the process," I said. "Fucking hell. Yeah, no, I know, he hasn't actually done anything that would make me doubt him. Just. You didn't see what it looked like when he healed you," Anna said. "Don't want to hear it. It worked though," I said.

"It did work indeed," Adam said, as he was coming towards us, his face and his body all the way down to just below his chest dripping with fresh blood. "It was a… dire bit of essence transfusion you required. I am glad we did not lose you." "Fuck. I apologize. I shouldn't be freaking about how you saved my friend when you just saved him," Anna said. "Not at all. Indeed, I agree that you should maintain a certain degree of caution after I use some of my more blood-intensive abilities. I have no mana, you see. Everything I cast must be from either my health, or crystallized mana. I have… abilities that let me choose how to distribute the damage when performing particularly taxing rites. The life essence transferral ability being among the most taxing I know. Enough so that I need to use up most of the life force stored in my brain," Adam said.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. "Damn. Thank you, but you shouldn't risk it. My own healing ability might have worked, after all," I said. "Likely it wouldn't have. Whereas I knew that my healing ability 'Consume Carrion' would heal my massive brain damage, if only I had access to monster flesh. Which I did," Adam said. "Well then, I'll just say thank you and move on," I said. "You are welcome, friend Alex. And I am happy to help Alex, Anna," Adam said.

The rest of the evening went by uneventfully, as we set up camp. Adam claimed he didn't sleep, and Chum said he could borrow some sleep from later, whatever that meant, so they took the night watch. Since neither I nor Anna had any sort of night vision ability and were exhausted physically and mentally, we didn't argue and went to sleep in our separate tents.

Our sleep was interrupted twice, once by a pack of dire boar, and once by a wandering pack of ghosthounds. Then, once we were ready to get up and make breakfast, a tree Anna was passing by came to life and grabbed her. These brief encounters were all much more routine than the featherworm fight, and we dispatched them with ease, but it became clear that the woods would be no less dangerous than the Halls beneath.

And we set off once more towards the mountains. They had already began dominating the horizon beyond the trees- massive, gray and snowcapped they reminded me of Cascades more than anything, or perhaps pictures of Alps I'd seen in travel ads back on Earth. In other words, they were just about the platonic ideal of mountain held by most of the people on Earth. The air grew more chill as the cobble road continued to twist upwards and soon enough the forests grew thinner and we found outcroppings of stone under the moss and boulders jutting out of the ground, often in sharp protrusions as the mountains slowly went from the things on the horizon, to fully blocking our view of whatever may lay beyond.

"Is it me or are we advancing too quickly?" I said. "What do you mean? It seems about right to me," Anna said. "Yeah, but that's the thing about mountains. They always seem closer than they actually are. Something to do with how big they are," I said. "Well, they've got to throw up some illusions to mess with your perception of space," Chum said, "I mean, what's an Australia, 5 million square kilometers?" "What the fuck is a kilometer," Anna said. "Anyways, the big guy's got to entertain some 20 million people, most of which will be learning to fly, teleport around, scry and do shit like that," Chum said. "I mean Australia is definitely big enough for that. I still don't get the point," I said. "I believe I understand what your familiar means. You must understand, Alex, that we are not on a planet right now. Do you think that is sky above your head?" Adam said. "Sure as shit looks like it," I said. "And for ten, fifteen miles it probably is just as you'd expect. But eventually it becomes senseless to simulate. Everything is ultimately painted on to Nothing. I bet we wouldn't even have to dig that far into a random rock to hit it," Adam said. "Why does that make me nauseated?" Anna said. "I find the thought of the gravity of 260 million cubic miles of dirt pulling me towards a solid core terrifying personally. Scaffolding on top of Nothing seems a lot less overbearing. I expect it is about what you've grown up with," Adam said. "So how does this relate to the mountains," I said. "They're closer than they look," Chum said. "But they're not," Anna said. "Sure, they're closer than they look if you know what to look for when looking at mountains. They're exactly as close as they look if you just look," Chum said. "Bah," Anna said. "Well it's a good thing for us. We still have to hit the mountains proper and find this dungeon Will was talking about tomorrow," I said.

The journey for the day and the night was uneventful, which is to say we had to cross a literal river of venomous spiders, burn down a nest of false rocks, and defeat assorted monsters to the point where I was finally nearing level 16 by the morning next day. By lunchtime next day, we finally reached it.

The mountains dominated the path ahead, but the road continued on. It was cut through the first rocky cliff, leading us into a narrow ravine that felt incredibly dangerous for those of us who had recently become accustomed to ambushes, but Chum insisted that nothing was on the cliffs above. After walking through the first cleft mountain, the road did finally give up to the nature around it and began to serpentine up the first true mountain in our path. I knew it would take the whole day to get to the top, even if we were lucky enough to still benefit from the Tower's illusions, which I doubted very much. I could see it helping us get to the next biome, but I was under no expectation that it would make actual mountaineering any easier.

We were making call-responses and checking over the rockface for even the smallest slight discoloration, when we took a careful turn around a rocky corner around the second bend up the hill.

"Boo!" a hundred cacophonous voices shouted, and Anna and I jumped back, while Chum began swearing and Adam reacted not at all.

My heart nearly stopped from fear and surprise, as adrenaline ran through my veins. I had already reflexively shouted Fus to get my book in front of my face when the Goblin Marked called:

"Surprise!" in that same cacophonous choir.

They had clearly been here for a while. Thatch and sod and log buildings were built in the hidden alcove among the cliffs. And on both sides of the road there were two gallows on either side of the Market. They were occupied by tall, lanky people I recognized instantly as elves, hanging limp off the nooses. Each wore a spiky black armor of the sort you'd expect from an evil fantasy empire.

"Alex and friends. We had so hoped you would make your way here sooner. Now, how may We help you?" The Monarch of Goblins said, cleaning a long bloody sword off with a burgundy cloth of silk.

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