I was standing outside Jummi's Baubles around 10Mor holding a giant bra in my hand. I had dropped off my gear back at The Gnashing Teeth and didn't want to fold it into a hip pouch. I knew it wasn't going to be worth much, so I didn't want to ruin the value further by wrinkling it. Needless to say, I was getting odd stares in the street. Just another item added to my growing reputation as a dud.

We had spent the last week at Floral Cove. It proved a surprisingly pleasant dungeon. Surrounded by tall walls the Exterminator's Guild built to control outdoor dungeon access, the dungeon was populated almost entirely with immobile carnivorous plants. It was an interesting place where the monsters were on the higher end of the Advancement 0 danger scale yet, due to their immobile nature, were easier to fight. There were a few minor pests, such as a rose bush monster which ran around on vines, but otherwise it was easy.

The dungeon's campsite was also far more pleasant than Mermaid Falls. Instead of a simple shelter with a fire, Floral Cave had a seaside hut. Due to sweeping rains which would blanket the area in autumn, enclosed shelters were necessary. It felt like a holiday getaway where we bashed giant flytraps and sundews. Even when the others reached Advancement 1 with a day left on our reservation, we decided to stay until the end.

Now, after helping Void deal with seasickness on the way back, I was in for a long, unpleasant day. While the others had to update their Advancement at the Guild and then head to Armond's shop to price out spell scrolls, I had to deal with setting up Jummi's future and my talk with Lisa.

I gently pulled the door open to Jummi's Baubles, my instincts expecting a minor avalanche of trash. Even though I knew it would be cleaned up, I was still surprised to see the interior of Jummi's Baubles.

Inside, all of the tall shelving was gone and was replaced by podiums with visual slates affixed to the surface by a fiber cord. A few tasteful decorations were on the walls and the floor was kept clear for customers to maneuver. There was neither hide nor hair of junk anywhere in the place. It wasn't flawless. Years of neglect of the floor left places where the varnish was stripped away, which I suspected Jummi would address soon.

I walked up to the counter and enjoyed the fact I didn't have to squeeze in between it and a pile of junk. I willed mana into the wooden bell, now polished with wax, and it emitted a cheerful ding.

"Oh, you've returned," Jummi said after she came from the back. Unlike her usual disheveled past, she was far more put together today. Gone was her ridiculous beehive and thick glasses. Her hairstyle was more contemporary and the red fur on her tail was properly combed. She even had a shine in her fur which made the red even more vibrant than I was used to.

She still wore her frumpy clothing and I could see the early signs of aging on her face since she wasn't wearing any cosmetics. She also still had her disinterested expression on her face. In her partially improved state, I could see the attractive woman I hoped I could help her become after she reunited with her family.

"Good afternoon, Jummi. You're looking amazing today," I said with a smile. This was going to be hard since I wasn't dealing with the usual Jummi.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "I heard from Sari you're a charmer. While I wouldn't mind a quick tumble in the back, you won't get any special business consideration. I have a few minutes available right now if you want."

"I wouldn't dream of taking advantage of you," I deflected. I swallowed hard unintentionally. Had I not been committed to Void and had I not known Jummi's situation, I'd be sorely tempted to accept.

"Your loss," Jummi said in a businesslike manner. "Now, what can I do for you today? I know you didn't come just to chat."

So far, so good. The reaction and speech were identical to last time. I hoped that meant Jummi would confide with Sari and trigger my knowledge of the divorce. I placed the giant bra on the counter. "I'd like to get this appraised."

After I filled out the forms and got the speech about not paying for identification, Jummi picked up the comically oversized garment and rubbed the fabric between her fingers. Her eyes flashed as she cast her Identification spell. "The Grand Creator has a sense of humor. This is a simple dungeon drop. It's practically worthless since you can't even cut it up to use it for something else."

Jummi continued rubbing her finger across it. In the past, Jummi bought everything I brought in to identify. It didn't matter. She would have given me a copper or two for the bra. I now knew it was her hoarding tendencies coming to the fore. I noticed her face struggling with the item. I knew she wanted to buy it and rebuild her collection. It had value. It was worth money. Never pass on a deal.

I waited as she struggled with the garment. I knew she wanted it even after cleaning out the shop. Her conflict with a junk bra drove home how hard it was for her to dump her hoard. After a few more seconds, she passed the bra back to me. "This isn't worth anything. I suggest donating it to a charity for the slums. Assuming anyone that well-endowed even exists."

I took the bra and folded it into my pouch. "I was warned. Thanks for the identification."

"It's good practice. Never use anything from a dungeon without checking," Jummi stated bluntly. I could tell from small facial twitches she feeling embarrassed. It looked like she realized what she had said to me and was trying to keep her stone-faced expression intact.

"I'll be sure to bring back other things I find," I said.

"Thank you for choosing Jummi's Baubles," Jummi replied before hurrying into the back. The poor woman was about to have an emotional breakdown. I felt bad about the manipulation, but I needed her to tell Sari so I could get the divorce story again.

After dropping the bra into a donation receptacle at the Temple of the Grand Creator, I made my way to the slums. The next trip was with Lisa. This time, I was going to approach her in a place where she didn't have control.

I made my way through Leoren's busy streets toward the slums. I had to stop for a quick bite of lunch at a street vendor before continuing given the amount of time it took to navigate the distance. By mid-afternoon, I was crossing Floral Way and into the slums. My destination this time wasn't the crafter's front Lisa used. Instead, I moved toward a seedy outdoor market I never visited before.

During my two-month imprisonment, I had managed to ask Lisa what she did during the day. She informed me she spent a lot of time hiding in plain sight. She set up an outdoor stall as a street vendor in one of the slums' various hawker's rows. I mainly asked so I knew what section of town to avoid. I didn't want to lay eyes on her ever again. My obligations had other plans for me.

I entered the hawker's row and saw tight, sunny streets with a multitude of people with wares. Some vendors had makeshift wooden stalls while most had simple blankets out on the ground. I wandered the tight streets as eyes watched me pass. I figured they were wondering why the hero, the dud at that, was in this part of the slums. Though most were staring at my pink flower boots.

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The hawker's row wound to a small square with a dilapidated, weed-choked fountain at the center. The tree buildings on the perimeter had seen better days with their empty branches and worm-infested wood. Stone benches ringed the fountain, though they weren't in any condition to sit on. Two of them were more rubble than seat.

The square was sour with body odor and rotten fruit. It mixed with the fetid aroma of the public toilets set off to the side. They didn't bother to include partitions to disguise the stench or hide the occupants like in the more respectable sections of the slums. Men and women squatted next to each other in the open while a teen barely out of the orphanage cleaned a wiping stick nearby. The crowds were of all clans, but here the rat and rabbit clans were the majority.

The square was thick with vendors all shouting to gain attention. A few with old produce and stale breads were popular while most were attempting to sell whatever junk they had on their tables or blankets. Among the crowds in the square were vagrants and crooks of all sorts. I had a few orphan children attempt to slip hands in my pockets to root for coins, but found nothing. I made sure to leave my coins back at The Gnashing Teeth.

The crooks watched me closely. I came armed with my rapier and was fully kitted out in my armor. My reputation as an archer had spread from the arena and it didn't look like they were willing to try to test my sword skills. It helped I ensured to walk with authority and a big, friendly grin on my face. No one who looked happy walking into a seedy part of town was someone to mess with, dud or no.

Then I found her. Lisa had set up her little shop just outside one of the tree buildings which housed a rooms-by-the-hour motel for prostitutes to use called The Garden Plaza. She was wearing threadbare rags which showed a little too much of her body beneath and was barefoot. She sat cross legged before broken trinkets which were in bad shape even for the slums market. Lisa was doing a great job presenting herself as a harmless, impoverished resident of the slums.

I strode her direction and stared down at her blanket of goods. I saw a broken toy, half a fake gold ring and a goblet with a missing bottom spread on the cloth. She looked up at me and I saw a brief glint of danger in her eyes before she shifted to her demure act. "Hero? I…I…what brings you to my humble stall?" She reached up and pulled one of her ears in feigned insecurity.

I picked up the toy, a horse with a missing head, and held it in my hands. I put it down, allowing Lisa's eyes to follow my hands. When I set the toy back down, I discretely flashed "Lisa" using her secret hand sign. The flash of danger crossed her face once more before returning to her act. "Hero? Is there something you're looking for specifically?"

I knelt and looked at the half ring segment. As I did, I spoke just loud enough for Lisa to hear over the din in the square. "I'm looking for a gold flecked potato."

Lisa's nose twitched. It reminded me of an actual rabbit with how her whiskers moved. I would have found it cute if the face didn't belong to a ruthless criminal maniac. Her surprise subsided and she whispered. "Play along. If you don't, you die."

Then her voice rose a little louder. "I have been saving myself for my future husband, but if my lord commands, I will comply."

I had no idea what she was going on about. She stood, gently grabbed my hand and submissively started guiding me toward the hourly love hotel.

"I had no idea they were like that."

"It's just the dud."

"Why her? She's just a street vendor."

"Poor girl is giving up her first time."

"Maybe the hero likes her? I haven't heard of him doing this before."

"You're right. Odd way of showing it."

"He's been here for a while. Maybe he's just lonely."

"Could be. Still, coming here?"

"He's a little off-putting to look at. Like he has mange. Girls here have lower standards than the folks in high society."

"It takes all kinds. Maybe the girl finds him attractive."

Great, now everyone was thinking I had just propositioned Lisa and was taking her to enjoy a quickie. That was going to work wonders for my reputation. I couldn't even defend myself since I knew Lisa's threat was real. Lisa added to the effect by giving me a bashful smile before eagerly pulling me into the hotel.

The inside of the hotel was dank and I could see motes of dust floating on the air. There were torn cushion couches in a small waiting area while the front desk was set behind a thick wooden cage. It was the prototypical seedy motel in the bad part of town. What surprised me was who was behind the desk. It was one of Lisa's two sisters. The brown, flop-ear rabbit-clan woman was working as a receptionist. She looked briefly surprised to see us before switching to her business mode. "May I help you?"

"We'd like a room," Lisa responded with her demure voice. It was for the benefit of the few people on the street listening in. "My lord wishes the best."

Lisa's sister turned and took a key from the wall behind her. She slipped it on the counter. I noticed her name tag. It read Saoirse. I never caught her two siblings' names before. Now I knew one.

Lisa took the key and guided me up the stairs. She weaved through cramped halls and then down again, this time to the basement. My worry began to spike when I considered where she was taking me. Below, we came to another door which she unlocked. Inside was a very opulently furnished.

A large bed was situated in the corner which had a sleep crystal embedded in the frame. A fire stone was set in a hearth at one end of the room and a bookshelf dominated one wall. Another wall had an armoire set against it. I could see a slight wrinkle in the carpet near the bookshelf. I figured it was one of those supervillain secret tunnels so Lisa could get to her cabaret lair without attracting attention.

Lisa released my hand, sat on the bed and spoke. "Explain yourself."

I told her about the apocalypse and how it was the doing of a secret cult using the cistern under the old shopping district. I told Lisa about their forces, strength and how she and I were the sole survivors of the battle. Lisa, like both times I did this before, patiently listened.

"That's something. When is it going to happen?" Lisa asked.

"27th of Jaulis at 1013Af," I replied.

Lisa nodded. "That gives me time to prepare my forces. Thank you for telling me this. I can have a thousand available and better geared."

"You said you had more than a thousand," I said.

She smirked. "I do, but not that many more. I'd rather not have an Obsidian Gulch Victory."

I didn't know that one. "What is that?"

Lisa described a situation very similar to a Pyrrhic Victory. A neighboring kingdom a century ago had waged war against Vialina. It was a brutal feud where both sides were insistent on wiping out the other. The war culminated in the battle of Obsidian Gulch, which was a fortress protecting access to Vialina. The foreign kingdom, whose name was stricken from history, sent their entire army.

Vialina, however, held 20% of theirs in reserve. The foreign kingdom successfully took the fortress and gained access to Vialina territory but only had a thousand soldiers left. The Vialinan reserves rushed through, crushed the opposition and destroyed the kingdom. The kingdom is now a province in the northwest.

It made sense. Lisa was thinking about maintaining her power base after stopping the apocalypse and needed people for that.

"Why shouldn't I just go in and steal the materials now?" Lisa questioned.

I pondered her words. She had a point, but I had a better one. "You said they were only available in noble black markets. I figure someone like that can easily replace materials. Replacing six good mages is something else entirely."

Lisa tapped her chin. "I have to agree. A good underling is hard to replace, though it is worth it if we stop the end of the world." Once more, her practicality won out over her morals.

"I also have something I'd like to sell. My belt is made of the only non-magical metal in the world," I said.

Lisa hummed. "I see. Yes, the Miner's Guild wouldn't like that knowledge getting out. I presume you can't make more and it's from your world."

I nodded. "Correct. We get ours out of the ground like here, but once it's gone, it won't come back. I had an assassin from the Miner's Guild kill me on one of my loops over it. You're the only one who can keep this silent and has the power to dissuade rivalries."

Lisa opened a drawer and extracted a coin purse. I wondered why she kept money lying around like that. She pulled out four platinum Sovereigns like before. "Here, I know what the mug you sold went for. This should be fair."

I took the coins and hid them under my armor. I then removed the belt and threw it on the bed. "Thanks. I think I should take my leave now."

"Hold on," Lisa said. Her eyes drifted up and down across my body. "A little soft, we can fix that with exercise. Since you know my secret, it must mean we had a special relationship. We are in a love hotel. How about you show me what our relationship was really like?" To emphasize her interest, she removed her threadbare clothing and lounged back on the bed. She made sure to spread her legs to give me a good look.

I swallowed hard. Shit. I didn't want this since I knew what a rejection would lead to. Getting locked away wasn't an option. It also wasn't an option to accept, either. I didn't want to cheat on Void, even if it was to get out of here alive.

I had to think of something fast. "As much as I'd like that, I have to decline. I'm on a tight deadline."

Her face went blank like when she decided to keep me prisoner. "Are you sure? This won't take long." She began rubbing herself with a finger as she waited my response.

"I only have a few minutes buffer," I replied. "I tend to last a while. If we get caught up now, I'm going to miss my next appointment. Everything is delicate right now. How about a raincheck until after the battle?"

She continued rubbing herself as she regarded me. "What's a raincheck?"

"It means we can do it later," I replied. I had to delay and worry about dealing with this some other time.

"Drop your pants," Lisa ordered. Her tone brooked no argument so I complied. I stood there with my flaccid boy waving in the open while Lisa stared at me. She continued to rub herself before her other hand reached into her coin pouch. She pulled out another platinum coin and threw it to me.

"What's this for?" I asked after I caught the coin.

"Consider it a dowry," Lisa replied. "I'll keep myself occupied imagining this sight for now. Get going, we can't have our empire ruined, can we?"

I hiked my pants back up and put the coin in the pouch under my armor with the others. I really didn't like her wording. She had already married me in her mind and was talking in first person plural. "I'll remember that. Be seeing you."

I made sure to leave without making it too obvious I was leaving to get away from Lisa. When I left, she decided to really go to town on herself and I closed the door to little gasps and moans. I shuddered as I left the hotel, ignoring the gossip about my behavior following closely behind.

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