The trip out to Gerilon Island on the ferry went about as well as I could have expected with my latest, and final, loop. Instead of last time, Void wanted me to keep my distance while she remained seasick. Lia was the one who joined her down below decks where the sway was minimized.

I was up top with Tizek looking out over the water. He was reveling in the salty spray splashing up over the side of the ship as it powered through the water. The pleasant smell of brine filtered into my nose while the call of gulls echoed on the air. The birds were following the ferry as it crashed through gentle waves in the bright, sunny morning.

Normally, if I wasn't keeping Void company in her misery, I would have been examining the propulsion system. With what was going on, I was reviewing what I could do on our trip to Mermaid Falls. I knew I had to stop by the candy shop along the main road in Orvis to buy some saltwater taffy for Lia and Tizek. The two of them enjoyed the treat the last time around. I also packed waders so we could have a less miserable time. There are also the gloves from the chest beyond the fenisnort which Lia adored. I hoped those would lift her spirits and break whatever chill she had toward me.

When we arrived at the docks, Tizek and Lia didn't rush off to examine the town. Tizek maintained pace a step behind me to my left while Lia was the one helping Void off the boat. After waiting for Void to get her legs back under her, we began to head off toward the dungeon. At the crossroad, I looked over at the candy shop.

"Hold on a moment, I have something I need to buy real quick," I announced.

"What is it?" Void asked. "Did you forget something back in Leoren?"

"Nah," I said. "It's a little treat Tizek and Lia loved last time here."

"Don't take too long," Void stated. I could see another strange look in her eye which triggered my panic again.

I walked into the store and picked up a pair of taffy bags like before. Two, actually, since I wasn't worried about saving money to build a useless MASER. This time, however, I paused when I caught sight of something else. I didn't notice it last time since I was so focused on getting candy for the teens and didn't examine the rest of the wares.

What I saw put a genuine smile on my face. I picked up four items I would surprise the others with at the campsite tonight. Water dungeons were miserable experiences and this little treat I had in mind from back home would help lighten the mood.

I returned outside and found the three of them near the gate leading out of Orvis toward the dungeon. I handed Tizek one of the bags. He took it and examined the contents. "What is it?"

"It's a type of candy called taffy," I said. "Give it a try."

Tizek took one out using the claws on his fingers and examined it. He put it in his mouth and I saw his eyes go wide. He then dumped out the entire bag into his mouth. "F'nk oo m'lrd."

I belted out a laugh. "Chew and swallow before you talk."

I kept my laugh going as I handed Lia her bag. "Here, this one's for you."

In what I could classify as a win, she looked at the bag before gingerly accepting it. "Thank you," she said quietly before reaching in for one. She put it in her mouth and her eyes widened as well. I caught a brief smile cross her feline face before it returned back to its neutral morose expression.

"Did you get one for me?" Void asked.

"Nah, sweets upset your stomach and you usually only eat sugar at the carnival. Maybe there's a fried meat place we can try later," I replied. Yet another strange look was sent my way.

The trip out to Mermaid Falls was different than before. Lia and Void walked ahead while Tizek and I followed behind. I caught myself subconsciously touching my right arm. At this moment last time, Void had her arm hooked around mine as we watched Lia playfully swat Tizek's hand away from her taffy bag.

One positive was Jehmia, the lynx-clan Guild administrator checking us in at the dungeon, was still a big fan. Our conversation played out much like it did before and I'd see him later when we sold the mana cores we collected in the dungeon. I had to spend time with him and Deena this time.

We entered the dungeon and Lia's change became more obvious. She wasn't curiously chatting about dungeon operations, why there was a big fence outside or anything else. She was focused on going out front while Tizek and Void flanked her. Their coordination was much better now that they were drilling with themselves at the training yard.

We changed into our waders, which came in handy. I received strange looks from the others when I pulled mine out, which had a repeating pattern of a cartoon duck-like creature wearing wooden armor on them. I was happy when both Void and Lia choked back a brief laugh when seeing them. What? I liked them.

I warned the trio of the coming mannows. When they fell from the ceiling, Lia didn't call out to ask me to cull them. She and the other two maneuvered in to the fight. I remained back to assist if necessary.

I watched the mannows charge through the water after they got to their feet. I was worried because the 8 on 3 ratio was aggressive for their level of skill.

Lia moved ahead further and began swinging her sword in arcs to keep the mannows focused on her while Void and Tizek peeled their targets off when they had the opportunity. Lia didn't have the opportunity to strike an opponent since she was too busy fending off attacks from the six.

My worry rose when Void and Tizek were taking more time to finish off their mannows. The waders, while they kept the water from soaking our feet and legs, impeded maneuverability. Worse, Void had absolutely no greatsword experience compared to me and Lia's skills were far inferior to what she had at this point in our last loop.

Lia lost control of two mannows, who split off. One each changed their target to Void and Tizek, who hadn't finished their current monster. Then Lia slipped when a mannow came in from behind. It slapped her with a tail and she fell face-forward into the water. Her Stalwart ability wasn't enough to offset the poor footing the waders I got provided. The other monsters began pummeling her with their fists, keeping her from coming back up for air.

"Lia!" I shouted. I pushed as hard as I could through the water to get to her. Even in ankle-deep water, a person could drown. Lia was pushing up trying to get air when she was piled on and kept under. Tizek and Void were still too busy with their own monsters to assist.

I came in fast and bowled into the mannows from the side. My adrenaline was pumping as I flung a fish and a second away before reaching down and dragging Lia to her feet. She gasped for air when she came up and coughed out some water.

I pushed Lia behind me while I lashed out at the mannows. I began striking out with furious punches. I pummeled the ugly fish in a rage, taking hits from their mangy beast people limbs in return. I was furious. Partly at the monsters, mostly at myself. I was screwing up this loop so badly I almost lost Lia. My own failures, whatever it is I was doing wrong, almost left us with the ignoble reputation of having the first death at Mermaid Falls in centuries.

I lost track of what I was doing as I pummeled the mannows into a paste via application of my cartoon duck waders into giant fish heads. Sounds mixed into a white noise of splashing water and slaps of skin on scale. I could smell the fetid odor of rotting fish mix with the mildewy scents of the cavern. My fists were beginning to hurt when I felt a furry hand grip my wrist on a backswing. "You can stop, it's dead."

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

I turned and saw Void holding my arm. She released me when my muscles relaxed. I looked at Tizek who was comforting a terrified Lia. She wasn't looking at the mannows that almost drowned her. She was looking at me.

I hung my head. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to lose you."

"No, I'm sorry I made a mistake. I should have asked you for help before we attacked," Lia whispered in return.

I wanted to get up and give her a hug. I knew it would only make her more uncomfortable if I did. "Don't do that. This is a learning experience." I took a deep breath. "Come on, we should get to the island and regroup. If there are no objections, I'll take out the monsters along the way. You won't lose out on much essence." I got three nods of approval to my plan.

I looked at the aftermath of my little rampage. Four mannows were rendered into a fine paste which was now floating in the water. Obtaining the mana cores proved as simple as picking up the stone from the cave floor mixed with the pulped remains of the monsters. Picking up the stone was sufficient to banish the foul remains back to mana, dismissing the ugly reminder of my failure from view. Then we were off to the island.

I quickly dispatched two dozen mannows on the way to the rest point where we stopped. I looked at the three and all of them looked down from our initial disaster. We had just barely stepped foot into the dungeon and everything went to shit.

"My lord? May I heal you?" Tizek asked. I was surprised he volunteered. He was usually hesitant to use his ability. I then looked at my health pool and noticed why. I was down a quarter of my health. I realized why I lost so much when Tizek handed me my helmet, which had fallen off in my rage.

"Thanks, buddy, I could use some."

While Tizek was healing me, Void and Lia put down our gear. Lia placed her pack on the drying hook in front of the deactivated fire stone. Right, I had to teach her Pilot Light again.

After Tizek healed me, I walked over to the stone. "Lia? Would you like to learn Pilot Light?"

She looked at me with hesitation before nodding briefly. I instructed her on casting the spell, which took quite a bit longer this time, and she lit the stone. In the warmth of the stone, I started to reach up to ruffle her head and stopped. No, it wouldn't be appropriate right now.

Instead, I opened my pack. "So, that could have gone better. I was saving these for tonight, but I think now's a good time. It's a little treat we made back home."

"What is it, my lord?" Tizek asked as he craned his head to see what I was doing.

I pulled out three canvas wrapped packages then opened them slowly and dramatically. In the first, I revealed marshmallows. The second contained four chocolate bars. The final one contained honey wafer crackers. "We're going to make s'mores."

"Is this something you've done for us before?" Void asked, her tone once again sounding like she was testing me.

"Nah. I just saw them at the candy place and I thought it would be fun," I replied. I extracted a pack of wooden skewers from my bag and slipped one of the marshmallows on. I then began rotating it over the fire stone.

"What we do," I said as I turned to the others while roasting the marshmallow, "is toast a marshmallow until it's golden brown. Then we place it and a piece of chocolate in between two honey wafers to make a sandwich. It's a common camping treat from where I live."

"My lord? Is it supposed to be on fire?" Tizek asked as he pointed.

I looked back at the marshmallow I wasn't paying attention to and it was, indeed, on fire. "Shit!" I exclaimed then blew out the fire. The marshmallow was fully encased in a black, crackled skin.

"Is it ruined?" Void asked as she looked at my burnt marshmallow.

"Nah, I got it out soon enough." I picked up the other materials and used the sandwich to slide the marshmallow off the skewer. "Now we wait a second for the chocolate to melt a bit."

After it was ready, I handed it to Lia. "Here, give it a try."

Lia looked at the s'more for a moment before gingerly taking it. She took a nibble. I saw a brief smile cross her face before she took a few more bites. "It's good."

"Can I make one, my lord?" Tizek asked with a note of excitement.

I set the skewers down by the fire. "You two have at it. Take your time."

Tizek's hand darted out and took a skewer to which he quickly added a marshmallow. Lia was slow with hers.

"Mind coming to talk with me for a moment?" I heard Void ask. I looked at her and she had that same odd look on her face.

"Sure," I replied. She nodded to the bathing area obscured by the rock wall.

We went around to the other side and Void indicate I sit against the wall. I did and she took a position around two meters away where she sat cross-legged. "What was that all about?"

"What are you referring to?" I replied.

She gestured toward where Lia and Tizek were. "That. The s'more thing."

"I just saw it in the candy shop and figured the kids would like it," I replied.

She nodded. "And why are we in here?"

"Because it's a good place to train," I wasn't sure where she was going with this.

Void shook her head. "I want full honesty. Why are we here?"

I hesitated for a few seconds to ponder the request before answering. "Originally it was to get a big viewscreen eye control crystal, but that plan didn't work. I wanted to come back because it was perfect. Even with all the water, we had a good time here and I wanted to get some gloves Lia liked. They'll drop in a chest today."

She hummed. "And what you did with Aoto at the arena?"

My eyes lowered as the memory came to me. I had saved Aoto, finally, but I had to debase myself to do it. "That? I just lost my temper. I had tried to save the kid thousands of times and never succeeded."

"You're telling me you didn't plan that?" Void asked, her tone still neutral.

I hung my head. "No. I feel terrible for doing it. I had so many opportunities to find a better way and panicked. I couldn't see him die again since there's no going back now. It just burst out."

She hummed again. "I see. The reason I wanted to talk to you is to tell you this. How you've been behaving? I feel insulted."

Her words slammed into me. The sensation was infinitely worse than any pain I'd ever felt. Connecting to the world magic and having my being stretched to breaking? All the times I held Void in my arms as I slipped the Heartstop laced dagger into her to spare her the torture of the caustic gas because I couldn't be certain when Mulligan activated? All of it paled compared to this moment. "I…"

Void put a hand up. "Stop talking. You talk way too much. It's time to listen."

I closed my mouth so hard I heard my teeth click. I kept my eyes glued on Void.

Void continued speaking. "The way you talk? It makes me feel like you're always comparing me to your ex-girlfriend. I'm being held up to your expectation of your past relationship. It's demeaning. How many times have you dated me?"

"91," I replied, keeping it short and to the point.

Void paused in shock. It took her a few seconds to compose herself before continuing. "You need to consider what's happening from our perspective. I'm stressed from this. When we first met? I saw someone I could see myself in a serious relationship with. I liked your charm, your confidence, how you got along with my parents and how you just liked me for me. Now? It seems you only like me for what all those previous versions of me were. I can't compete with an amalgamation of all the best parts of 91 versions of me. This is in addition to worrying about stopping the end of our world."

Every word she spoke pummeled my soul. They hurt as much as they did because every one of them was packed with unvarnished truth. My eyes drifted down.

"I see it's the same with Lia. You're coming on so strong she believes you want something from her. She feels trapped with you right now because we have to keep a monster from invading," Void continued.

I nodded to indicate I was paying attention.

"Tizek is the only one fine with it because he's been looking for direction. Still, I fear you'll even push him away if you continue, especially after the threat is gone," Void said.

I was feeling my jaw muscles start to tremble and I wanted to vanish to empty the contents of my stomach. I couldn't, I had to listen to the words.

"You're not thinking of ending it and trying again, are you? To make this perfect?" Void asked.

"No," I barked out a little too loudly. I lowered my voice. "I'd never do that. Even if all three of you hate me now, I'll gladly take that if it means giving your futures back. I'll suffer alone to know you're happy."

My eyes were fully fixed to the floor now. I was struggling to keep my emotions in check, to keep from crying, to look weak. Yea, I know the culture here doesn't look down on weeping, but I'm hard coded from childhood not to.

Void didn't speak. All I heard was rustling of her waders as she stood. I was prepared for her to leave me. Instead, I heard her sit beside me. Her hand gently pulled mine into hers and the second folded on top. "We don't hate you."

I remained silent to listen to her words.

"I also have to look at this from your perspective. I understand why you're doing what you're doing. It took me this long to determine if you genuinely care for us or if it's just an act to free you from your loops," Void whispered comfortingly.

I let her words absorb into my mind.

"I still see someone in you I like. Your outburst with Aoto? I don't think you did anything shameful. You kept him alive." Void gently gripped my hand as she spoke. "What I want, what the three of us need, is you to live WITH us, not try and direct us to perfection. I want to see the man who gave Lia and Tizek s'mores. I want to see the man who cares about us so much he forgot he had a sword and punched four fish monsters to death. He's someone I can see spending my life with. I know you're someone I can love. My past versions weren't fools."

I worked what she was saying in my mind. I recalled all the times the four of us were together. I realized something I never did before. Void was right. Because we were trying to find the solution to the end of the world, we never did the same things twice. It never made sense to. I was always living with them in the moment because I never knew how it would end. Apart from our initial meeting and the lost and found quests, I never engineered their lives. That is, until this final loop.

My desire for perfection ended up ensuring a bad result. I was so terrified of messing up that I did. My shoulders started to shudder from the realization.

Void picked up on it. "There's one more thing I need to ask. Have you ever mourned?"

I didn't know what she was saying. "What do you mean?"

"As odd as this sounds to say, you've in a sense been married to me for nearly 23 years. All those versions of me are gone. Have you had time to say goodbye?"

Those words hit the hardest of all. I let my eyes drift up toward the bathing area. I could see the ghost of Void sitting there with her freshly blow-dried fur. I recalled the yelp when I accidentally tickled her bare nethers with my spell. My eyes followed the path she took for her awkward sashay away followed by picking underwear out of her crack. I realized it was just a phantom, a memory, one no more real now than if it were fiction.

More memories flooded back from all the other loops. The very first time I ever saw her and my insecurity asking for a date. Our trips to the carnival. Little arguments over interpretation of text in the library. Our sloppy attempts at coordination fighting in dungeons. Nights at the theater. Helping her try on new clothing. How she taught me fencing. Quiet moments walking hand-in-hand in the park. Every time she gripped her tail out of embarrassment when it wagged in public. Her drool draining on my chest in her sleep after each moment of intimacy.

Every one of them was gone. Every one ended with a rupture in the sky and a monster destroying our future. I had spent centuries refusing to think about it. I was always pressing forward, looking for a solution. I had even refused to interact with the people I cherish in this world for a very long time to distract myself from the pain. It only ever slid into a corner of my psyche to fester.

I felt my tears began to flow as I processed my loss. I wanted to force it back, to focus on the threat ahead, but I couldn't do it anymore. My dam had burst and I couldn't hold back the sobs.

Void's arm draped over my shoulder and she pressed her head against my side. "I'm here for you. I always will be."

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