Alex had never looked up at a wiener before. Especially not one in a suit with a fake mustache. Scrum Lord, also known as Richard Shaftwell, wasn't taller than him, but the Boss's ridiculously cranked high leather chair made Alex's own child sized seat on the other size of a monstrous oak desk feel small and compliant. Add in the throbbing vein, and the result was distinct uncomfort.

"So?" Scrum Lord asked after putting the pizza boxes behind him. "Are you happy with your current employment? Looking for a move?"

"Uhh," Alex answered while feeling lightheaded, wondering when the hell he had sat down. "Yeah, love my job. Plays right into my Skills. Money's pretty good too. Bosses are good people. No complaints from me. And uh…no? What?"

To cement his authority and image, Scrum Lord reached out a tiny veiny hand to casually tilt a framed photo on his desk towards Alex, displaying his smiling family. They all wore matching suits, and couldn't you see how happy they all were? That's right, Scrum Lord wasn't a Dungeon Boss only, he was a family man. It's right there in the picture. What a nice fellow. A family of weiners!

"Are you open to exploring other opportunities? Big world, lot of places where one with your…Skills might fit. Perhaps clear up some debts as well?" Scrum lord leaned forward, steepling whatever passed for fingers together.

Wait, when the hell did I even sit down?

He didn't remember choosing the chair. One second he had been stifling the giggles, the next he was perched like some fresh intern in a simple office with a friendly boss for a chat about…what exactly? Alex realized he'd been tricked again, likely from some aura Skill Scrum Lord had. This wasn't what beating Francesca in a race looked like, or collecting a tip. That was a long shot now that he was stuck being stared down by a dick in a suit.

This Dungeon is WAY more dangerous than I first thought. How long have I been here? Answering his questions?

He looked up at Scrum Lord and felt the Dungeon Boss's Essence pressing into him. Oddly, now that he was paying attention, the stuffed underwear in his pocket from Snu was warm. Hot, actually. It protected against Lust Skills, but it didn't seem to be working exactly as Alex would expect against Lust. Maybe this wasn't Lust?

Greed.

Greed, Alex realized, was lust's brother, and they weren't opposites, but partners in crime. Gnawing away at that same empty space in people's hearts. One wanted to possess, and one wanted to consume.

"Pity," Scrum Lord said with a twitching mustache and a single bead of…hopefully sweat that trailed down his head. "Protected and claimed by another. Alas, perhaps you will see the light of day when presented with the information."

The Dungeon Boss moved away from the desk, and the world around Alex bent back to normal. Fog lifted from his mind as he realized he was sprung up tightly, finally slouching back to his normal sitting position, freed from the Dungeon Boss's Skill pressure. Scrum Lord blinked toward a blinded window that hadn't existed in the office a moment ago sucked his teeth.

Holy doodle.

"Claimed?" Alex snapped as he shoved himself up out of the small chair. "How long have I been in here?!"

Scrum Lord didn't answer right away, instead adjusting his fake mustache while the unsettling vein throbbed loudly. Finally, the Dungeon Boss gave a light chuckle. Like the way that HR representatives will chuckle about making an organization right-sized just before the holidays or when someone is a year out from retirement.

"Time is relative when one is productive. Haven't you felt that focus? Hmm? Does it matter how long you've been here?" Scrum Lord asked smoothly. "Five minutes? Five hours? Five days? Why, it's practically the next sprint cycle…," He turned at wagged a sausage finger at Alex. "What matters to me is output, Alex. And yours…seems to be being wasted. See, there are many roles open here in my organization, and I believe you might just be the perfect fit. It would be…quite the upgrade. An even thousand non-Monsters working for my enterprise."

Alex backed up to the door and readied his [Phantom Step] to hopefully phase through the Lair's door. Now that whatever Skill the Dungeon Boss had been using wasn't affecting him, he could make a dash at any time. This dick had kept him in his office, badgering him with questions about his Skills, about his business, about what kind of things his Skills could probably do given the right direction, and Alex, under the spell, or Skill, of the Scrum Lord, had answered away in an energetic style. As the trance fell away, thanks to Snu's worn undies, Alex realized he had given the Dungeon Boss the information on a silver platter.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. This is what they meant by dangerous.

Scrum Lord fixed his messy mustache and turned back to the slated window, seemingly pondering the situation. Then the Dungeon Boss reached up and pulled the string, and Alex couldn't help but look on in wonder what the wiener was trying to show him.

"Look how diligent and productive," Scrum Lord said proudly, and Alex felt the pull crashing against Snu's panties in his pocket. He had the uncomfortable realization that the Dungeon Boss knew his jig was up and was about to take a different approach. "To toil is a marvelous thing indeed."

Richard Shaftwell, who since the System had come, had been working on developing his Dungeon, and who had over time morphed into his current form, gestured grandly as if what he was presenting was the best place on Earth.

Beyond the blinds was an open office without any glass dividers, where endless desks, adding up to one thousand, lay under migraine lights that constantly buzzed. Adventurers, and people too, well all shoved into the same terribly slouchy black suit. Hands, many of which were bleeding and raw, clacked unbreakable keyboards. On cue every third worker sipped their coffee, letting out a synchronized "ahhh," and picked their noses before typing even more furiously. A different third craned their necks to crack before organizing their presentations that would never be approved. Alex could see some weep as their tears streamed without breaking their work. All of their eyes were wide open and dry and unblinking. Screens flashed with charts and emails, a never ending deluge of meetings. Tattoos that once glowed with power, and earings that gave a little extra umph looked faded. To Alex, it looked like their spirits, and their Essence was being eaten away, leaving only the work.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Without their scheduled ticks," Scrum Lord explained. "I noticed an undesirable amount of…churn…"

"What--what are they doing?" Alex asked with a dry mouth, feeling sticky and icky next to the Dungeon Boss.

"Work, of course!" Scrum Lord squeezed his shoulder with his little sausage hand. "Toil is majestic, young man. Each click euphoric, each email to a sock puppet a nibble. Every ounce of work delivers a morsel of Essence to me."

The Dungeon Boss chuckled stickily into Alex's face.

"Oh, do not look so grim, Alex. They are paid, of course. Credits, Credits, Credits. Some to make Credits and save for their future, some for family. Most for debts unpaid. But the only way it works is through a contract. Voluntary shackles! The System demands it, of course. Only way I can force them to stay and siphon their Essence. Delicious, delightful Essence. They toil, sometimes for a year, sometimes for a decade, depending on the contract, of course. And they work, always with focus, though never with pride. And as they toil…" He spread his stubby hands towards the office, "I grow."

"Uhmmm," Alex cleared his throat, wanting to leave, but knowing right now might be pressing his luck. "If you have this, why order from Ninos?"

"I mean, I was going to give everyone a reward and offer them a pizza party, of course! A small morsel to keep spirits high. It's all part of our internal bonus structure, and each and everyone of my workers has hit their targets this month."

"Right…two pizzas for, what was it, a thousand people?"

This guy is fucking crazy. I need to get out of here.

"A grand gesture for their loyalty and devotion," Scrum Lord stared out at the office and admired it before turning back to Alex. "Now, I have the distinct feeling you will not be joining our illustrious organization?"

"Yeah, I think I'm going to pass this one up. Just not the right…fit." Alex answered while backing up to the door.

"Now are you absolutely certain? What are your fears? I can pay handsomely. Say…two hundred thousand Credits for a year of your service?" The Dungeon Boss walked casually as Alex's back hit the door. His gut was churning, which was never a good sign.

"That's extremely generous, but still, I'm not looking for other opportunities right now."

"Pity!" Scrum Lord exclaimed, snapping his finger like Alex was refusing a simple service like window washing. "Pity, pity, pity. I do love a good deal, and no one ever leaves here without coming to terms."

Alex's skin prickled as the pressure came back. It felt heavy and oily as his blood ran cold and every instinct, most importantly his belly, was screaming at him that something very bad was about to happen.

"It's been a real pleasure, Scrum Lord!" Alex forced a lopsided smile. "But I have to get back to it now. Enjoy your pizza!" He grabbed the handle and yanked, all thought of a tip gone. The door didn't even return a rattle. It was locked and sealed.

FUUCK THIS

He fired off a [Phantom Step] and his body whizzed through the Dungeon wood. He felt his Core shriek at the onset of Essence exhaustion. After running through his deliveries, and making it through the Dungeon, he was pooched. On the other side of the door, Alex span and went to sprint.

But it was the same office. The same leather chair with Scrum Lord sitting high atop it. The Dungeon Boss tilted his head smugly, and tilted his family photo back into place to face Alex once again.

"So?" Scrum Lord asked again, smiling evilly through his tip. "Are you happy with your current employment? Looking for a move?"

Alex just stared at the man terrified as the Dungeon Boss chuckled once again.

"Do you think of my stature has just a singular office?" He spread his little arms with that vein throbbing. "Really. We've had this conversation at least a dozen times. I'm not sure you're ever going to get it. Stubborn employees often make the best ones, once they're…molded. Hear me again. No one ever leaves here without making a deal."

A dozen!? HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN IN HERE?

Alex bolted for the door again, slamming another [Phantom Step] through it. He felt his Core scream back at him as he whizzed once more…

Only to come into the same office again. His Core burned, and he staggered against the wall.

"Going somewhere?" Scrum Lord's voice droned smooth as an HR rep explaining why your benefits were being cut.

"What do you want?!" Alex barked.

"A deal. Like I said," the Dungeon Boss had the gall to shrug at Alex. "It's kind of my thing."

It was at that moment that Alex realized he couldn't remember when he had officially delivered the pizza. He couldn't remember getting the delivery notification, and now just wanted to get the hell out.

"What kind of deal?" Alex finally acquiesced.

"That's the spirit!" Scrum Lord hopped off his high chair and took his time coming over to stand before Alex before continuing, tapping his chin thing.

"Hmmm…a deal…a deal…What is a deal? Well, why don't we make one for my property? You do have something of mine, don't you?"

The Klicker from the potato manager Monster practically burned a hole in his pocket, and it must have shown on Alex's face. Scrum Lord pointed one of his disgusting fingers towards Alex.

"Perfect! How about this then? You have…say…ten minutes to make it to the lobby of my enterprise, back to the start of the Dungeon. You're fast, yes? You practically couldn't shut the hell up about it. How fast you could be. How much you can run! On and on, like a parrot. If you make it, you can keep Patty's Klicker. The dear is in shambles by the way. One of my first employees, and she's never left."

"And if I don't make it?" Alex already had a feeling what the answer was going to be.

"A year contract. I'll even through in a thirty percent bonus if you survive!" Scrum Lord laughed so hard he looked like he was about to pop.

Alex didn't see a way out at the moment, and if he had been there for a lot longer than he thought, running through the interview routine again and again, there wasn't many options. He just wanted to get the hell out of the Dungeon and go home. Screw the tip. And a little part of him thought that he could make it back in time.

"Fifteen minutes," Alex countered. "And no infinite room bullshit, no Skills that mess with my head, no weird time shit, and for System's sake, stop pointing that TIP in my direction. Disgusting." He shoved out his hand and the System sent a notification.

[Contract with Richard Shaftwell – Scrum Lord Supreme – The Sprint Reaper] [Terms: Alex – Burning Hot – will have fifteen minutes to reach the lobby of the Scrum Center. If Alex arrives before the time limit, he will be allowed to keep Patty's Keynote Klicker 2000. If Alex fails to arrive, he will serve a one-year contract within the Scrum Center, forfeiting his holidays, weekends, brain, willpower, energy, bluster, emotion, love, desire, empathy, independent thought, and testicles.]

"Testicles?!" Alex barked, but Scrum Lord seized his hand in a flaccid grip.

"Standard onboarding procedure, Alex. Always watch out for the fine print. Nothing to worry about. You'll hardly notice they're gone once you're buried in deadlines that are always juuuuuust there."

The office door finally opened, revealing the long hallway leading back to the thick of the Dungeon. Alex took a deep breath, and cracked his neck. A moment later, the System pinged him again.

[Deal Timer – 15:00]

He took off with a burning Core and exhausted legs. From behind, Scrum Lord cackled and went back to whatever it is CEO's do behind closed doors.

There's only one way I'm beating this shithole. And no tip, fantastic.

It was risky, but he didn't think there were many options left. With a scream that pushed his Core past his limits, cracking it just a little bit and zapping Alex of some of his life force, Alex activated the one Skill that could save him. He just hoped that it wouldn't bite him in the ass as it had so many times as of late.

Brody, red-eyed and hungry, popped into existence next to Alex with crossed arms, looking like he was about to spit nails.

"Dude," Alex gasped as he rubbed his chest. "Please do not fuck me on this one. Get to the start of the Dungeon, fast at you can. Or we're screwed. Please."

Instead of doing something snarky, Alex was caught off guard when Brody reached out and squeezed Alex's shoulder. It was the first time that the two had touched, and thankfully, it was a reassuring grip.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." Brody growled, and sprinted off.

"This guy can make noise!? Since when!?" Alex yelled after his [Illusory Copy].

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