"Holy private collection, damn." Alex stared around Freeda's Lair. "This stuff is crazy!"

Freeda snorted mid-chew of the delivered pizza. "Worked here forty years before the System," she rasped, biting into another slice. "This was my…Administrative Office."

He turned to look at her with raised eyebrows. "Yeah? What's the deal with that anyways? How'd you become the Boss? No offense, you seem pretty relaxed and normal," he paused to point at one of the many items. "Woah! Is that an original?"

Moseying up, he looked into the depths of the plastic container. Inside, hundreds of tiny white shrimp swam in circles round each other. The creatures were living in a miniature ecosystem as the only species. Formed at the top of the small tank in bright blue was the namesake of the long since unavailable item: Sea Monkeys. Alex knew original, unopened ones sold for hundreds of thousands of Credits online. Yet here one was, just chilling on an intricate side table.

"It is," Freeda answered. "That's the same colony I had at my desk right when the System hit. They were old then, about ten years somehow…now…it's been quite some time."

He continued openly marveling at all the items in her Lair. Best be careful with his steps, as everything looked historically valuable. It appeared as a room for a grandma with taste, money, and absolutely zero self control had run feral across every vintage boutique. And the System, apparently inspired by her taste, had mutated her to match.

Expensive vintage purses hung next to priceless jeans and strings of mechanical diamond watches. Crocheted blankets draped over office chairs. Original paintings accidentally tossed out to the thrift store covered the walls. There were porcelain animals and crystal ashtrays. All of it was meticulously placed in a semblance of organized chaos in the converted office space. It was the best of the best from Toronto's oldest and most coveted thrift store. In the back of the Lair, an old desk was piled high with giant CRT monitors and covered in full ashtrays. Somehow, the room didn't reek of smoke.

Alex turned to face the Dungeon Boss, Honest Freeda. He'd seen enough Bosses now that her mutations barely fazed him. She was only five feet tall and clearly had been an older Jamaican woman. That's about where her humanness ended. Like many other Bosses, the time and the System had changed her.

"Hm. You worked here, then? For a long time? And you knew Nina?"

Her teeth were small squares of green uranium glass. Her hair had been replaced with a waterfall of expensive silk scarves that constantly shifted. Three separate pair of diamond glasses perched on her nose, eyes, and forehead. Hundreds of silver bangles of all variety hung from her wrists. Her skin looked like hundreds of dark handbags stitched together, expertly done and not at all terrifying. Over her small, hunched frame, she wore a resplendent purple robe, and on her feet, surprisingly, were gigantic bunny slippers. Alex liked her right away.

Freeda hooted on her cigarette, then lowered herself into a plush velvet chair shaped like an orchid. She clapped her bangled wrists together. "Let me tell you a story---NO."

Her scarf hair shot out and whipped his bicep like a wet towel. "Do not sit on anything. You may have your shirt back on, but you are still sweaty."

Alex froze mid-butt bend, hovering over what he now realized what was probably a priceless heirloom throne. Probably from the Queen or something. He straightened. "Right. Up. Totally fine standing. Love standing. Big fan of the tea as well."

Freeda puffed once more and settled into her chair. "Once there was a girl who was a cashier at Honest Ed's. She started when she was sixteen years old--,"

"Woah," Alex interrupted. "That's you? Wait, how old are you?"

Honest Freeda squinted her eyes at him. "Old, boy. Now shut up."

"Right, right yeah, sorry. It's just most Dungeon Bosses won't tell me much. And you know Nina. Like actually know…," he saw her glare. "Shutting up now."

"As I was saying," Freeda shook her head. "This was long ago. Since this cashier was the oldest daughter to new immigrants with six kids, she worked a lot. Minimum wage was only a dollar ten back then," Seeing that Alex was about to interrupt again, she held up her finger. Thankfully, the boy swallowed his question. Nina had warned her Alex was a talkative one.

"The girl was smart and good with numbers and figuring out value. She was able to pick out the best things to sell. The owner, Ed himself, noticed it about her, and decided to train her to become an accountant for the store. And she learned. And learned, and got really good at it. She worked long hours, since it's such a busy place. Got so good at her job, that Ed himself made her the only accountant for the store! Great, isn't it?"

When Alex kept his yap shut, she added. "You can speak now."

"And you met Nina then?" He asked.

"That's right. She was around my age, and would come here shopping once her and Nino moved into the area. It's not like they had a lot of money back then. No one had a ton, but we all made it work. I'd work a shift as a cashier and then do another couple hours under accounting, right here in this office. Nina would always bring me her homemade food and pizza."

"Nice lady. She must have liked you."

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"I'd give her the hints on the best deals! Swear she'd come in hours at a time, and somehow only leave with one or two things. Clever lady, she is." Honest Freeda laughed to herself.

"I mean, makes sense. So you two kind of grew up together. Couple immigrants in Toronto, helping each other out. But how did you become the Dungeon Boss then? I know Ed was around when the System hit. Dude was a legend."

"That dude just saw the money. I was the one that worked the hours sorting prices and hand written spread sheets. Funny thing is, in my forty seven years of working here, Ed never gave me a raise."

"What? You made a dollar ten for forty seven years!?" Alex's mouth opened and closed like a fish.

"Cheap bastard, like I said. Honestly, I didn't even know I was being screwed until I mentioned it to Nina."

"She must have freaked out."

"Ooh she was not happy at all," Freeda smiled as she looked in the distance. "Came in and spanked him right at the cashier! With a wooden spoon! And he was a big man."

Alex laughed. "And then he gave you a raise? Still doesn't explain the Dungeon Boss thing. I'm guessing you got your back pay too?"

"Do thirty eight years multiplied by a salary, taxes, benefits, the whole works," Freeda shook her head. "No, I did not get my back taxes. Like I said, I came here with my parents, undocumented. Technically I wasn't allowed to work anywhere, Alex."

"Oh, shit. But he still hired you?"

"He knew the whole time, Alex, don't be silly. After the big fight between Nina and him, he backed me into a corner and laid it all out. I could get my minimum wage, in cash as I always had. No back pay, nothing else. Where else was I supposed to go to work? Plus, I loved this store. Practically ran it myself."

"Damn…That's…,"

Freeda shrugged. "It is what it is. But you asked another question. You asked, why me? Why and how did I become the Dungeon Boss of Honest Ed's?"

Alex leaned forward, listening closely.

"You know when the System came, don't you?"

He thought for a moment. "Uhh…June in 2024, right?"

"It was a Friday," Freeda explained. "I was working late, alone at the store. As for how this became a Dungeon and how I became the Boss? Well, I think the System took one look at me hunched over that desk, forty seven years of work with no raises, and said, alright Freeda, your turn."

Honest Freeda finished her story by looking around her Lair. A converted office space stuffed to the gills with the best of the best from the most famous thrift store in the whole country.

Alex leaned back, mulling over her words. He'd spent his whole life thinking of the System as some uncaring, chaotic engine. With the Unspace, and all the connected realities, how could something even have influence over it all? Between the way Snu was growing past just being a Dungeon Boss, Freeda getting "repaid" for her years of service, and the constant awareness his belly gave him, it all felt a little too pointed. If the System could choose Freeda, what else could it see and do?

"Alex?" Freeda's voice snapped his attention back on her. "You alright? You kind of…,"

"Zoned out? Yeah sorry," he shook his head. "Sometimes I swear it's like I'm on the precipice of understanding more about the System. The whole thing just doesn't make sense. Where did it come from? Why? What the heck is it's goal even?"

"Relax, relax," Freeda stood up and coughed brutally as she puffed. "You don't need all the answers, Alex. What you need to do is just keep going. Whatever way you're making decisions is working."

Alex thought of the mistake he made with Britanni, and how the cursed bracelet was missing, and how Mr. Mystical had Brody trapped in the Unspace whenever he disappeared from this reality. He did try his best. It was just rarely enough.

"And Nina?" Alex asked, changing the subject. "Got any tea about how she became a Lich?"

"Oh I know," Freeda smiled her uranium glass teeth at him. "But it's not my story to tell."

"Damnit. Not even a hint? Just a litttttle hint?"

"Nina warned me you were like a trickster," Freeda laughed and walked over to the giant rack of expensive vintage purses. "No. I won't tell you. But I can give you one final tip."

Alex got embarrassed. "You've already done so much. Didn't even really make me go through the whole Dungeon. I got here in like twenty five minutes. Plus the Reward Room? Sheesh, thank you for that again, by the way."

Freeda turned back to him and smiled while taping a finger that was covered in diamond rings. "Oh? Not even if I give you one of these for your girlfriend? Huh? Nina told me she's even a Dungeon Boss. Girls look after girls."

Well that perked Alex up. He felt guilty at how well he was being treated by the Dungeon Boss. Sure, she was a friend of Nina's, but Alex despised charity. A gift for Snu though…one that was impossible to get, save for ridiculously rich potential suitors? Yeah…

"Yes please!" He marched over to the purse rack. With zero what any of the logos meant, he pretended to analyze the small, expensive bags with a keen eye. After a second, he looked at her. "What uh…what do you think?"

Freeda rolled her eyes. "This. She'll like this one." She pulled off a medium sized black bag with a delicate chain and two C's facing away from each other. Placing it into his hands, she sighed.

"She better take care of it, this is the first time in a long while something has left my private collection."

Alex beamed, happy that he had gotten a free, marvelous gift for his girlfriend. "Oh, she's pretty good at taking care…," seeing her raising eyebrows, he changed tactics, even though he hadn't meant it to come off like that. "She's great. She'll love it and take care of it."

He said his goodbyes to Honest Freeda, wearing the purse proudly on his shoulder. Outside her Office Lair, [The Motivator] was pressing the horde of video game rewards and counting to one thousand. The Monster insisted on carrying it all by himself back to the front of the Dungeon for Alex.

Can't wait to show Brody on the way back, he thought as he and [The Motivator] began the light jog for a cooldown. He was just excited that he and Brody had a couple more hours to hang. He'd even walk back to Nino's Pizza with Brody, and then he and his clone could rush home and dig into the vintage video games. Brody would love it!

Once Alex left her Lair, Honest Freeda sat back down in her velvet throne, happy to be out from behind her desk. It was comforting there. Easy to stay hidden in the back rooms of the Dungeon, stowed away, working, surrounded by her favourite things. She'd worked for seventy years already in the same place.

It stung to give up one of her best purses. But when she'd been chatting with Nina, her old friend had mentioned his girlfriend. A Dungeon Boss leaving her Domain, casually? All the time? It baffled her. It made her judge the young women who ran The Leather Spires. After her old ways calmed down, it inspired her.

Honest Freeda stared at the door of her Lair and wondered if she would ever feel comfortable leaving her Dungeon. Could she do it like those girls?

She sat there a long while, just thinking. And on the screens of her security monitors, as she sat on her resplendent chair she'd placed in her office, she did not notice a book and a mouse on a rug fly into an empty hallway, breaking into her Dungeon.

But she did feel them. Especially that Book.

Mr. Mystical and Harold The Book entered Honest Eds, on the hunt for Alex. He must not be allowed to help The Lich of Nino's Pizza.

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