Mage Manual

Chapter 767: I Truly Lost My First Half of Life


"You're living at Felix's place now!?"

Sonia was stunned. Even when the witch revealed she was Ash's daughter months ago, it didn't have as strong an impact as this news. She pondered for a while, seemingly searching her mind for the right words suitable for this moment, and finally squeezed out, "Are you crazy?"

"Don't you think it's a brilliant idea?" Ash seemed puzzled, "We were still thinking about how to find a foothold in Jiale City, and then Felix appeared. It's like we were just preparing vinegar and a plump duck fell from the sky!"

Diya thought for a moment, "If I remember correctly, isn't Felix trying to persuade the Sword Maiden to join the Four Pillars God Sect's cult?"

"That's exactly what's so ingenious!" Ash said, "No normal person would take in three Holy Domain fugitives like us, and I don't want to implicate any innocent people. The Kingdom of Stars has no leeway for travelers like us from the Exotic Realm, but nor can they tolerate the Four Pillars God Sect!"

"Although contacting the Four Pillars God Sect is risky, compared to the Kingdom of Stars, the Four Pillars God Sect, which runs in high-end private clubs, is at most a small workshop with mafia-like characteristics. Although we are exceptionally experienced with being 'at odds with the world,' we're just as skilled at being 'at odds with the Four Pillars God Sect.' For once, we can choose our difficulty level, so of course I'd choose the easy mode with the Four Pillars God Sect."

"Moreover, do you think we're afraid of the Four Pillars God Sect, or that the Four Pillars God Sect is afraid of us?" Ash spread his hands, "If they insist on dealing with us, once the three of us Holy Sanctuary Mages cause a ruckus, the worst outcome is us losing our precious lives, but the Four Pillars God Sect would be discovered by the Kingdom of Stars and then be uprooted!"

"The Four Pillars God Sect isn't well-known in the Kingdom of Stars, apparently concealing is their specialty, and we just happen to need local forces to help us hide. It's like we're both charging forward for mutual benefit, a win-win!"

Diya tilted her head, "How is it a win-win?"

Ash made a V-sign gesture, "The Four Pillars God Sect helps conceal our whereabouts, win once; disgust the Four Pillars God Sect, maybe even implicate them, win again."

Ash's decision wasn't made impulsively, and even if it were, there was still Igula watching beside him. Coercing Felix to utilize the Four Pillars God Sect indeed received unanimous approval from the trio of fugitives, after all, confronting local government agencies, naturally they would want to choose a local criminal organization with rich confrontation experience.

Besides, to be fair, they've been entangled with the Four Pillars God Sect in the Senluo Wasteland for so long, they long ago exorcised the charm of the Four Pillars God Sect. They've even slaughtered the Seven Transfers and Seven Exits of the Senluo Four Pillars, ruling half the Wasteland; could they not provoke the underperforming Dazzling Star Four Pillars?

Us going after you is elevating you, Dazzling Star Four Pillars, don't be ungrateful!

There's also one point, although Ash and the others didn't say it nor would admit it, they all felt that they couldn't avoid the Four Pillars God Sect anyway, so they might as well take the initiative, better than living in fear.

Ash of Blood Moon, Eternal Damnation of Gospel, Mercury Wooden Horse of Senluo... If they came to the Kingdom of Stars this time without getting involved with the Four Pillars God Sect, even the cautious Igula wouldn't be confident in that.

Of course, the most important influencing factor is their strength as Holy Sanctuary Mages and their bizarre experiences. After all, they've been through things like escaping Blood Moon, confronting Gospel Mages in Yisu Imperial Palace, witnessing the destruction of Divine Beings in the Wasteland. Few Legendary Mages in this world have richer experiences than they do.

In the past, they might not have dared to exploit the Four Pillars God Sect, but having participated in so many major events themselves, with Ash slaughtering divine beings, Harvey killing a Legendary, and Igula defeating a sensory mage, how could they possibly still fear the mere Four Pillars God Sect?

"But why didn't you come to me?"

Sonia shook her head and said, "You know I'm a second-year student at Sword Flower University, you don't need to use Felix."

"But don't you live in the dormitory?" Ash smiled, "Do you want to hide me under your bed in the dormitory? Would your roommate agree?"

"I can get a hotel room!" Sonia said, "I'm not without money, even a more discreet hiding place, if I think of something, I could probably figure out a way to help you."

Ash laughed, "I know you mean well, but harboring us is a major crime, we don't want to implicate innocent people. Felix is different though; for us, if we can implicate the Four Pillars God Sect, that would be even better..."

"I'm not innocent."

Ash was taken aback, lifted his head to meet the autumn water pupils in the Sword Maiden's eyes, suddenly feeling dry lips and parched tongue.

"What was your original plan?" she asked, "You didn't actually plan to tell me about your arrival in the Kingdom of Stars tonight, did you?"

The atmosphere suddenly became tense, Ash was silent for a moment, lowered his gaze and slowly said, "I wanted to see how things were first."

"See what?"

"See your attitude," Ash said, "For example, discussing with you in the Void Realm about my plans after arriving in the Kingdom of Stars. If you really want to stay in the Kingdom of Stars and can't let go of everything there, and the Kingdom of Stars can't accommodate me, a foreigner… Then after I find a way to leave the Kingdom of Stars, I'd meet you once."

Sonia: "But would it only be once?"

"Not necessarily," Ash shrugged, "there could be a second, a third... but I won't make you choose, nor will I ask you to give up anything."

"I actually already regret it, being dazzled by your beauty earlier, I couldn't help but say it out loud." He lowered his head, closed his eyes, and said softly, "The right thing to do would have been to hide it until the end, leaving without meeting you... Sword Maiden, you were too impulsive, but so was I."

Sonia felt a surge of anger burn from her feet to her head, "Yes, I was impulsive. But you don't want to keep your promise. You came to the Dazzling Star and didn't inform me immediately, you even preferred to stay with Felix rather than ask me for help, does this make you seem cautious?"

"By 'impulsive,' I mean you wanting to leave the Kingdom of Stars with me," Ash said, "That's the future I most want to avoid."

"Not long ago, you said to trust me and not interfere with my future, and now it's your turn to criticize my decisions?" Sonia pressed her lips together tightly, clearly furious, "Do you also want me to call you Dad?"

Diya: "Hey!"

"I think it's my fault," Ash said, "I always talk to you about life and death adventures filled with storm and fire, yet in reality, you only have mundane studies and cultivation. Maybe I inadvertently made you long for the thrilling adventures, for a life outside the campus... and that's why you think you can accept the cost of leaving the Kingdom of Stars."

Sonia's shoulders trembled, her eyes misty, "So you're saying it's just a whim of mine — you have no idea what preparations I've made, how much resolve I have."

"I know—"

"You don't know! You think I'm some ignorant girl who changes her mind every hour, or a foolish person obsessed with watching romance dramas, you assume that I'll definitely regret it in the future—"

"I'm not assuming you'll regret it, rather I know that I would definitely regret it!" Ash looked at Sonia, took a deep breath, and said, "It's me who can't bear your sacrifices."

Sonia and Diya were both stunned.

"If you gave up everything to elope with me to another country, how could I not want that? I'd love for us to flee early tomorrow, to intertwine day and night, maybe even honeymoon for years with the Witch." Ash held his forehead, speaking almost self-deprecatingly, "But you're not me, nor Igula or Harvey — you're different from us free wanderers, you have family, friends, a career."

Ash glanced at Diya, "My home is in the Gospel, in the Yisu Imperial Palace. But Sword Maiden, your home is in Dazzling Star, in Jiale City, there are so many important things in your life and I am only one of them."

"But I know what is most important to me." Sonia said softly, "Don't worry, whatever I sacrifice, I will surely find it tenfold, a hundredfold from you, have you ever seen me suffer a loss? Don't worry about not being able to repay."

"Even if you sacrifice nothing, I would still give you tenfold, a hundredfold." Ash smiled, "I will give you all the best of me..."

Facing Diya's eager eyes, Ash blinked, "... all of you."

"So there's no problem then, right?" Sonia spread her hands, "I sacrifice my first half of life, to gain the second half."

"That's the biggest problem." Ash said, "I can't bear nor can I accept you sacrificing your first half of life."

"Why are you meddling so much?"

"Because I truly lost my first half of life."

Facing their perplexed gazes, Ash took a deep breath, "I used to have parents, brothers, friends, even a career... Though life is great now, knowing you, gaining so much, I still have many precious things left behind in the past."

"But I can't go back, maybe I'll never be able to."

Ash lifted his head, looked at Sonia seriously, and said, "Your life shouldn't revolve around just one important thing, parents, friends, career, these beautiful things, they are significant parts of you. I love the Sword Maiden who boasts about her achievements, loves the one who orders furniture for her mother, and loves the one who uses sharp words to roast her roommate."

"Besides what I give tenfold, a hundredfold, you deserve to embrace even more beautiful futures."

"I don't want you to experience the sorrow of losing your past, and even more so, I don't want to become your sorrow."

The more Ash spoke, the more resolute he became, "I will meet you in Dazzling Star, but I absolutely will not take you away from here. Even if you hate me, it doesn't matter, I will definitely sneak away quietly."

Sonia closed her eyes, shook her head slowly, and sighed softly.

"That's so unfair." She said, "You know I could never hate you."

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