Meanwhile, on the other side of Maliterr. Another trio are going to be waking up from their hard-earned… well, partially earned slumber at least.

"Hee-Hee!" The Heehee'er has been singing away, transporting MC, Horace, and the little budding buddy through Spooks Woods. Singing that delightful song that I've intentionally forgotten. He's been careless in his escorting them through the forest though, which is no surprise; it's not like they don't weigh A LOT after all.

Bumps in the path make him lose control of the wheelbarrow. Sometimes one of the boiz flops out, banging their limbs on the forest floor, which is beyond his control of course, and adventurers can heal themselves if they need to.

Other times he stumbles into the cold, hard piece of junk he calls a wheelbarrow and stubs his toes, getting gentle taps to his shins, and there was at least one time he took a blow to the funny bone.

He would silently yell in pain as he rubbed his injured appendages. Forest fires would start as he built up too much static from frantically & furiously rubbing. The discharge ignited dried dead matter on the floor. How does the Heehee'er deal with it? Well, let's just say Dillee is going to be waking up with a new chargrilled hairdo.

Hours have passed as the trio are unwillingly and hopefully not being delivered to some pot of stew for some psycho cannibal's meal plan. A light that shone far through the forest had been his destination amongst the mad happenings.

As the Heehee'er grew closer, the smell of broth was in the air. The heehee'er sniffed with a mighty SNIFF~, impulsively twitching upwards and doing a small jig afterwards.

A large wooden cabin came into view after our wheelbarrow weirdo walked a little bit further. Three floors high and spanning several meters up, down, and all around. It was painted with a brass colour, and a metal sign had the words ' Jägermeister's Cabin' written on it. The front door opened, and out stepped a pale man, with his hands to his bits hips wearing a black beanie upon his crown.

"Groundskeeper Therman, Ehhhwuuuu how do?" partially howling out into the woods.

The Hee-Hee'er began to unzip his sky-blue full-body suit, revealing a tired, balding, and pickle-smelling man. He began to speak to the beanie wearer. "Ey, Baykuun Pheesh. Not bad bud, you?"

"Yeah, same pal. I see the side gig is still going well." Baykuun nodded at the trio still sleeping away in the wheelbarrow.

"Wish I could focus on the groundskeeping, bud, but the Eccles Ville council won't budget for it. Politicians are keeping me doing what I love, as per usual...can't complain too much though, I'm on 15k an hour doing this side gig. Walking around, being a weirdo, AND getting paid for it? Don't mind if I do. Oh yeah, how's the project going? It's been a while since I heard off ya,"

Baykuun grinned at Therman's question. He was full of excitement to tell the news. "It's going picklelicious. We've been making really good progress since Haych and his whip came on board, heh."

Haven't heard that name in a hot minute. Therman's memories of Haych cracked him a smile.

"Ah good Ol'Haych. How's he doing?"

"He's doing good as well bud. He's been working on some project. What was it called...'The Iilves-Jones Appreciation Society,' I think. Not to be confused with 'The Seisyll-Prydwen Super Star Fan Club,' of which he is only a super subscriber of."

The two of them laughing caused the stirrings of a certain trio to begin waking up.

It's 11pm. What the fuck are you doing sleeping in so long!? Therman thought, as he was mildly shocked by their stirring.

"Bugger! Sorry mah man, let's meet again soon. Part of the contract is not to reveal myself, isn't it. See ya in a bizzle bud~"

Groundskeeper Therman zipped up that suit in double-quick time and began hee-heeing towards some trees not far from the cabin. Poking his head out, waiting for the trio.

"Ah feck, my head's pounding." I flopped out of the wheelbarrow and onto the forest floor. Leaves crunched under my face as I lay down in them. I love this crunchy, crisp feeling. I looked up. Hey, it's not daytime; that's nightime light!

Dillee began to rouse as well. When he finally got me in his sights, he spoke, "'Twould appear sir, we have somehow made it to the end of the woods." Looking around, I'd like to agree with his statement that I think we have. A man interrupted my thinking: "Sirs, please step out of the wheelbarrow." Came the authoritative voice of a beanie-wearing individual.

When I turned to him, I saw the cabin a bit more clearly. That confirmed all I needed to know. This was the end of the woods; I remember it from the maps.

"Sorry, Mr. Jägermeister. We were trying to avoid the main route going to Peaches Beach; lots of fighting has been happening lately, and bandit attacks are on the rise." I think my polite words resonated with him.

"The higher-ups are always turning a blind eye to it as per usual. Godly powers, eh? I'm Baykuun Pheesh - Rank 69 and ranger for Spooks Forest."

I was taken aback for a moment. Surprised to meet someone so infamous and high up in the rankings... one that had something of a reputation in Eccles Ville hotel rooms.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"I know you! You're the Eccles Ville tickler."

"Ehhhwuuuu~ Fookin, watch it, or I'll tickle ya pal. I Love me a little bear to cuddle.

Terrified that we just exited a fire and entered an inferno. I tried to steer the conversation away towards something more useful. "Ha! One day, I'm sure. We really must go, though. Can you tell us which direction we should go?"

Baykuun sighed, and a wave of air pushed me back suddenly. Bloody hell, he's got some strength.

He pointed southward, "Just keep heading towards the red trees. Path lights are on now, and we will be lighting them up so you can see which ones they are. Once you find them, take the left road at FishaBitta Restaurant.

I nodded, thanking him. Horace on the other hand, was awake now, and without warning piped up, "THANKS a lot PAL," The unexpected shouts caused Baykuun to jump with fright. "Ehwhatthefuckmate!? That ain't normal."

"He's got SIC-TICS, it's a long story."

In the distance, as if a spooky ghost was lurking in the background. "Hee-HEE~" rang out across the dark of Spooks Forest.

***

The trio wandered in the direction Baykuun had pointed them towards. Path lights powered by small little elemental shards helped guide them on the road towards the trees.

"What's the date and time?" I asked the other two, trying to get my bearings a little.

Horace opened his system window. "IT'S Wennesdeh 23:33."

Damn, we really did miss most of the day. "How the hell did we end up at that cabin? I'm so confused by all this." Despite my grumpy attitude, the others, they weren't so bothered. Dillee was especially unfazed with the night setting in; he was starting to slump from his sunshine withdrawal. I picked him up and carried him on my shoulders.

Night walks were not a common thing for any of the party. Rarer & tougher monsters tended to creep out from their habitats, and being out in the open was a surefire way to attract attention. And if it's not those, it's the weirdo nocturnal sentients that are arguably the more dangerous of the two.

Wandering for an hour, the trees that the Jägermeister had mentioned started coming into view. Horace's nose caught scent of a certain aroma, however: "MAFON trees. Whoever thought to make A FULLY EDIBLE tree was a GENIUS."

"It's times like these I really admire that snooter of yours bud, zing-zing! Can't disagree with that statement, though; it smells amazing. Have you got any empty bottles to spare?"

Horace checked his inventory, rummaging about frantically. "Nah I got NOTHING," Ah, piss. Guess we'll have to use my empties from that douchebag from the Trollmanns Underpass.

"No worries, come on."

I gave him a relatively large glass bottle with a lid on it; it was about the same size as mine. The tree is fairly off the path but still close enough that we can make out the path from the lights if we need to rush back. I put Dillee on the ground; I didn't need any deadweight while trying to do this.

Bright green leaves had fallen to the ground and were easy pickings. Taking a knife, I stabbed at it. The squelches were a bit off-putting as I took some of the pulp and filled my bottle. Horace grabbed a few seeds that I hadn't noticed fall to the ground, and he shot off some bark, packing it into a bottle I gave him.

"Great find. Another victory for the boiz ey. Let's get back on the path; it's still a long way to Tusen Atolls."

Horace nodded at me, and I put Dillee back on my shoulder.

Green and Blue Flytte Flappers, almost as big as my head, skirted in and around the light bulbs, attracted by the glaring brightness, and occasionally fried themselves for a second before they buzzed off and forgot what just happened. And of course, repeat the process all over again. Dumb things, they never learn.

It dawned on me after a while that...we haven't heard from the others in a while. I wondered how they were doing.

"Horace, Have you heard from the weak team yet?"

He paused mid-walk. "NAH. not a sausage,"

Surprised that he wasn't more concerned, I asked with a more serious tone, "A bit strange, don't you think? They're more CDO than us. Would have thought they'd have tried at least once or twice."

Horace just shrugged at me. "GUESS they just don't love us THESE past two DAYS." He piped up louder than normal, waking up some of the creatures sleeping around us. Groans and chirps began to echo out. The path felt more alive, though the locals are pissed off at us for sure now.

I don't remember the restaurant being this far away. Time sure does not fly when you're out of your mind. I wanted to say it out loud, but after two hours of relentless nighttime chirping and no other noise, I almost lost my frigging marbles. A merchant broke up the monotony of this little outing. Sensing a business opportunity, I casually took out a jar of Drooli, took the lid off, and began swirling it around.

Whispering to Horace, "Play along with me." He responded in kind, trying and failing to stay quiet.

"You think IT'LL work?" He whisper-piped.

"Only one way to find out."

A Koanit merchant with a white cloth robe covering his green feathers, sat on top of his wagon while it was pulled along by a Felidhan that was taller than me and Horace combined and at least twice as wide as Dillee.

Allium aromas floated up in the air, and he was caught in MC's trap now.

"Bubbles, stop the pulling!" Shouting into the ear of the driver, who turned around grunting. "WHAT'S UP, BOSS?" A green and hungry Koanit wanted what was catching his attention and waved at his driver to be quiet. "Hush Bubbles. You there with the liquid-filled bottle. What is that concoction?"

Heh, got 'em.

"Oh, hi. Didn't see you there. This? It's a family recipe. We put it in all our cooking." I tried to sound as authentic as possible, but hiding a smile was not happening.

"What is it exactly? Some sort of vegetable broth?" They tried asking me, and I tried to think of something I'd been rehearsing mentally.

"It's from a rare plant that grows in my homeland, Et-Na-En-Vn, far to the east."

The merchant was practically foaming at the mouth for this. Come on, bite you dingbat.

"I must have it. How much will you sell it for?"

Boom, bringing home the Drooljillions.

"I can't sir. It's for the family dinner this evening; they'll be livid if I arrive without it. It takes a year for the plant to fully mature."

Horace couldn't help but laugh at my terrible acting and the merchants relentless pursuit of the stuff. I turned to him smiling and whispered, "Stop, your gonna make me laugh, dickhead."

"Sorry, this is my cousin. He laughs when he's uncomfortable; don't mind him. We'll be seeing you then."

Turning and walking away, the merchant ran around to face me, grabbing my arms.

"I'll give you 2,000,000 HFC right now. I must have it boy. Hand the bloody stuff over!"

Pretending to be afraid, I said, "Ok! Don't hurt me, man; here, take it!" Bubbles the driver dropped a massive bag that was bigger than Dillee into my hand, returned to his position, and drove away.

Sorting out the money. I put it into my inventory, then split it and put it back in the bag and gave it to Horace. "Half for me & half for my home slice."

"We're swimming IN COIN," he piped up, fist bumping. We carried on walking a little bit richer.

The narrator's entries:

Mafon are strawberries in this world.

Mafon trees are goldmines for materials:

Its pulp is great for snacking and desserts.

The bark is a great exfoliator.

Bright green leaves are great for skin care and cosmetics.

And the seeds grow even more Mafons!

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