"How can this be?!"

Bruce rolled his eyes as Antoine threw another fit, as well as a small wooden figurine of a crab at his head. The carved trinket bounced harmlessly off the merc's shiny bald dome without so much as a flinch from him. By now the bodyguard had gotten used to having random objects thrown at him by the deranged merchant whenever he was having one of his temper tantrums—and had learned that Antoine's puny arms carried as much power in their throws as his squeaky voice when upset.

"You know how long I was a merchant?" the disgraced nobleman yelled at Bruce, his eyes filled with seething anger. "Decades! I was a guildmaster for years! And this… creature turns himself into a trader for a handful of months and somehow becomes a celebrity? Idolized by everyone?! He has bloody merchandise now!"

The hired muscle, still standing with arms crossed by the entrance, exhaled sharply as he struggled not to roll his eyes again.

"Why do you care?" he grumbled. "They're just stupid trinkets. I used to think this was about coin, that you wanted your little business empire back, and revenge on this crab for hurting your bottom line. But now it's obvious it's not about that, you got plenty of gold, you could set out and settle anywhere else on the continent with a new identity."

"Bah!" the self-titled duke spat. "This is no longer about money. This is about my pride! About getting what I deserve. What I am owed!"

This time, Bruce could not keep his eyes from rolling back again.

Pride, hubris, revenge. Rich or poor, it was always the same poison for some men. The mercenary had seen it way too many times. Profited from it, too. Still, he could never quite relate, and much preferred his own way.

Never make it personal and let emotions get in the way of the job. Care only about the one thing that matters—the pay. He found that most other things he enjoyed in life were much easier to make happen by just having money.

That mentality was exactly what still kept him working for such a lunatic. So long as the pay kept coming and was plentiful, he would suffer the mad ravings, rants, and weird behavior from the miserable little man.

For now.

"How have none of my items worked yet?" said Antoine, back to staring emptily at the floor. "Everything I've sent his way has failed to ruin the crab's business. How could he possibly know? My plans were perfect. Flawless. Someone—or something—has to be aiding him. It's the only possible explanation."

"Have you considered that maybe you're not the big mastermind you think you are?" the cross-armed bodyguard grumbled with unfiltered contempt.

"His merchandise…" the mad merchant muttered, picking up the wooden figurine off the floor while seemingly indifferent to the merc's words. "Perhaps that will do it. If he doesn't take my items, then surely the way to bring him down will be with his own items. He won't be able to reject his own products. His pride and arrogance will be his downfall in the end!"

"His pride and arrogance?" the mercenary said with an arched eyebrow. "You sure about that?"

"Bruce!" Antoine exclaimed, still ignoring his underling's words. "I want you to fetch me as many of these cursed crab figurines as you can. Buy them, beat up some adventurers to take them, I don't care. Just bring them to me." A twisted grin stretched under his mustache as the fallen merchant began to cackle. "I have a brilliant new plan…"

***

"And your total comes out to 50 gold," said Balthazar, as he finished placing the last bundle of rope on the pile of items the adventurer in front of him was buying. "Would you like a complementary gift in the form of this wonderful and expertly crafted crab figurine carved in the likeness of yours truly?"

The young man, a level 10 scout, looked at the wooden trinket the merchant had placed on the counter with an inquisitive frown.

"Does it… do anything?" he asked.

"Sure," said the crustacean. "It reminds you of your favorite merchant crab wherever you go!"

"Heh, they did say you were a funny crab," the adventurer said with a chuckle. "But sure, why not? I'll take a gift."

"Alright, very good," said Balthazar, chucking the figurine into the crate of items. "That will be 60 gold then, please."

The confused human paused for a moment as he reached into his coin purse.

"Wait, didn't you say 50 gold just a moment ago?"

"Yes, but that was before you accepted the crab figurine, which costs another 10 gold. Fifty plus ten equals sixty. Quick maths!"

The scout's brow arched into a frown.

"Hey, but I thought the trinket was free! You said it was a complimentary gift."

Balthazar adjusted his monocle over his left eye and pointed a pincer up with a smug air to his expression.

"It is a gift, in the sense that being able to carry a copy of my beautiful form in your pocket is a great gift. And I said complementary, not complimentary."

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

"Is there a difference?!" asked the befuddled adventurer.

"Of course there is!" replied the merchant. "You should really work on your reading skills. I'm actually a tutor too, you know? I could help you, for a price."

"No, thanks," the now-annoyed boy said.

"Suit yourself, but then don't complain when you fail to properly read the fine print."

"What fine print? You were talking, there was no writing to read!"

The knowing crustacean clicked his tongue. "Tsk. Read the fine print, listen to the fine vowels. Same thing. The point is, you should check a dictionary for the subtle difference between those words before you agree to things. I just happen to have one right here on this shelf, if you want!"

"Let me guess," the squinting adventurer said. "The dictionary also costs extra?"

"Naturally," said Balthazar. "12 crowns, in fact."

After a couple more minutes, the merchant watched the adventurer make his way out of the bazaar with his crate of items in his arms and an open book on top of it.

"Huh…" the scout muttered to himself. "What do you know, he wasn't lying. Complementary and complimentary do have different meanings. That crab sure knows his words."

"Heh, another satisfied customer," Balthazar said as he skittered out through the back of the gazebo.

As he stepped down from the wooden surface and onto the outside, he felt his crabby legs sink slightly into the layer of snow covering the dirt.

"Hmph," the crab said, readjusting his winter hat with both pincers. "Druma hasn't swept the path yet today."

He looked around for the small green helper, but saw him nowhere. The merchant knew exactly why—the goblin was most likely in his little hiding spot with his nose buried in that spell tome of his, practicing his reading as usual.

Balthazar couldn't be mad at him, however. The little guy's excitement whenever he managed to successfully learn how to decipher a new word was simply too pure not to put a smile on even such a hardened crustacean.

Turning his gaze up, the merchant spotted a small blue dot soaring between the clouds near Semla's peak, right before it disappeared into a cave entrance on its side.

For a few days now, Balthazar had figured out where his adopted drake had been spending most of her time—she was staying up there in Beatrix's temporary lair.

What those two were doing spending so much time together, he did not know.

"Bah, probably girl stuff," the crab said, before adding, "Dragon girl stuff."

Setting his peepers on the recently finished baking kitchen behind the bazaar, Balthazar saw the silhouette of a human girl moving about inside through the glass window.

Madeleine had been busy stocking up her new working location with all the essentials a baker could need, from flour and other ingredients, to spoons of all sizes and many more utensils the crab had never even heard about before.

He had found himself most puzzled by a tool that the girl said to be called a Dough Docker.

His immediate mental image had been of a large ship arriving from sea with huge amounts of rolled dough as its cargo, but that notion was quickly dispelled when he saw the baker holding the utensil in her hand.

The best way the crab could describe the odd instrument was that it looked like a very aggressive backscratcher—at least for those unfortunate enough to have puny skin instead of sturdy chitin.

A small handheld tool with a cylindrical roller covered in rows of short spikes that, according to Madeleine, were meant to rotate smoothly over dough and create little holes that would later allow steam to escape during baking, ensuring a flat and blister-free crust.

Balthazar wasn't fully convinced that wasn't just a clever excuse for the girl to carry a deadly weapon around town, however, and he wondered how difficult it would be to sell those things as piercing weapons to low-level adventurers.

The crab sighed with some exhaustion. It had been just him working the bazaar all morning. Henrietta had gone up to Ardville with Tristan again. They had been spending a lot of time together—even more so than usual.

The toad had said she was helping the aspiring merchant guildmaster improve his trading skills, but Balthazar suspected there was a lot more they were practicing together than just haggling.

"Hmm, and where's Bouldy, I wonder?" the eight-legged merchant said.

Making his way around the kitchen and toward the pond's shore, it did not take Balthazar long to find the giant stone construct near some of his boulder brethren.

The surprising part was in who was there with him.

"Jack? Leah?" the intrigued crab said. "What are you guys doing back here?"

The scene before him was equal parts as strange as it was amusing. The golem was holding a large boulder the size of an adult bear in his hands, lifting it up and down in front of his chest like an instructor showing off the best technique for lifting heavy weights. Standing in front of him was Jack, still as naked as ever, wearing nothing but his loincloth and horned helmet, with knees buckled as his scrawny arms struggled to lift a metal bar with two smaller boulders stuck on each end off the floor.

"Eurrrgggh!" the adventurer groaned as he barely managed to keep the stones off the ground.

"Oh, hey, Balthazar," Leah greeted, leaning against a boulder while reading a book. "Jack has decided to get into weightlifting to increase his Strength and reclaim his ability to lift his sword, and he figured, who best to help him improve his form than the strongest golem we know?"

"Friend!" Bouldy enthusiastically said to the swordsman while raising his boulder above his head with a smile.

"I am using my knees, damn it!" Jack said with trembling frustration as thick beads of sweat rolled down his face from under his helmet.

"Wait," said the bemused crab. "You're telling me that all this time, he's never done any working out in order to use that sword more easily?"

Leah closed her book as a single loud laugh burst out of her mouth.

"Hah! Of course not. Have you looked at his scrawny physique? Jack's too used to just pressing a plus sign next to his Strength stat over and over. I tried to warn him that wouldn't cut it forever, and that sooner or later that greatsword would outweigh his carrying capacity, but he wouldn't listen. Now that level-ups are coming less and less frequently, he finally realized he needs to try something else. You know… like actual physical training."

"Huh…" Balthazar said. "Well, alright then. Bouldy seems to be enjoying the… activity, so carry on, as long as it doesn't get in the way of his duties."

With arms crossed behind his shell, the crab walked away along the edge of the water, pondering.

It seemed everyone around him was working on self-improvement in their own ways.

Shouldn't I do the same? Balthazar thought. Just trading small items over and over all day clearly isn't getting me very far anymore. And I'll need much more than that to get to the bottom of that dungeon.

Gazing out over the gelid waters of his pond, the merchant made a decision—one he had been chewing on for a while now.

"Fine! I guess I'll start experimenting with my skills and try to rank them up."

Throwing his pincers up, Balthazar skittered back into the bazaar to retrieve some supplies for his first experiment—imbuing.

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.