"It's been a long time."

This early in the morning, the sky was still dark. The sun peeked through the clouds on the horizon, its soft glow shining on the vibrant leaves overhead.

"Obvious statement, I know. It's just… Now that I'm here again, I don't even know how to apologize. Do I say, 'sorry I didn't visit you for six years?'"

No response came, and he exhaled slowly.

"At least I have an excuse for the past year and a half. I couldn't visit then because I got stuck in another dimension, if you can believe it." He paused. "I definitely didn't, while it was happening. I wasn't even completely convinced that I was alive. But I still kept going, even when everything felt like a really bad fever dream.

"That's one thing I learned during my time away: to keep moving forward when it gets rough, maybe even because it's rough. Because that's how you know you're doing something worth fighting for. That's similar to what you used to tell me, isn't it? During the time I was bringing home my career exploration worksheets. I wanted to be like you, but I also had to pick something else. And afterwards you'd tell me…" He trailed off.

A moment of quiet passed.

"I'm sorry. For being gone so long. I'm sorry for not starting my story at the beginning. I'm not one to ramble, but it's weird. You'd think I would be more coherent, after giving myself so much time to think. But no. Apparently not. If anything, I've been overthinking this entire time, and the solutions to my problems aren't always as complicated as I make them out to be. Sometimes simple doesn't mean easy to solve. I've been finding that out since manifesting my power."

His eyes found the trees, aged bark rough and full of life.

"We moved, just me and Mom. I didn't tell any of my friends I was leaving, didn't look back. A clean break. Everything happened really quickly after that… The district we moved to wasn't too big. Definitely smaller than Central. I can't say I liked it there when I first arrived, but I didn't place at that point because you weren't there.

"But I started engaging with life more, because of someone I met in our new neighborhood. His name is Jacques, but everyone calls him Jack. He was my only friend for a long time, and became my best friend too. I'm glad to have met him."

He collected his scattered thoughts for a moment, then continued.

"For the next four years, I was alive. I can't call it living, not really. I was too obsessed with thoughts of revenge and settling the score, but it was a quiet time. I pushed everything down and waited, I guess. There's no other way of putting it. That entire time, I was waiting. And eventually, I got tired of that. I sat with myself, thinking about how I didn't see any route forward to do what I needed to. That's when it happened. All of a sudden, I had power.

"Heroing on the first night wasn't in my plans. But I'll admit I was impatient at first. I can clearly see that now, with the benefit of hindsight." His shoes crunched in the gravel as he shifted. "Probably because on some level, I didn't believe that I could do it. That the power to alter colors would end up becoming anything useful. It's embarrassing, but I think a lot of the things I did back then were more to make myself feel like I was working towards something than genuinely trying to reach my goal. Busy work.

"Not that it's all negative. I found stuff that I didn't hate. People that weren't awful to be around. This girl I met on my first mission, Lyra, she… We helped each other a lot. She joined my team. We clicked better than I thought possible. Before I knew it, we were close."

He shook his head.

"She still needs my help. And I don't know if I have what it takes to save her. Even though I keep telling myself I swore and everything, what if it's not enough. What if, when it comes down to it, I can't measure up? All I'd be able to say is that I died trying."

Dispelling the angsty thoughts, he swallowed.

"I met the Wardell family too. As much as I was thinking about other things back then, they turned out to be good people. Which is ironic, because I attended Casey's party under the pretense of investigating them. Is this what you meant when you used to talk about simpler times? I think I'm starting to understand that now."

A chuckle escaped him, brief and nostalgic.

"I was so mad at you those first few months."

The wind stirred the trees behind him. He looked up, watching the branches sway like they might answer.

"I pretended I wasn't. Obviously. Except that was exactly the problem. Pretending. I don't blame Mom for not choosing to reveal who you were, it's just that the lying became too much for me. It's possible that she sensed that? That could have influenced her decision to move? I can't say for sure. She was always more empathic than me. You both were."

Stolen story; please report.

He crouched, forearms on his knees.

"Indignation is something I became very familiar with in those days. I wanted to scream your name from the rooftops, until every last person in the world could hear it and never forget you. You definitely deserved it.

"I only started to calm down when I reminded myself that you wouldn't have minded. I wouldn't either, but for different reasons. For me it's apathy, for you it was the opposite. You cared too much. And was one of the biggest reasons you were so great. I admired that about you."

Briefly, a grimace pulled his lips back, baring teeth.

"Talking about my emotions like this isn't something I like to do. My rationalization for it was that it would help me gain insight, or whatever. Because my power has this emotional reading aspect I discovered that lets me read how other people feel all the time. I guess I was hoping to discover my own this way, since it would be convenient in assessing my state of mind. Seems more convenient compared to sensing my brain and body."

He broke for a long pause.

"I just wanted to talk to you again. I thought you'd never leave. You know you were always invincible in my eyes. The ideal." Tears sprang to his eyes then. He blinked them away. "Recovering some of that image was a huge part of my motivation. For myself, if no one else. I won't know the heights you climbed to until I reach those same heights.

"...Is it weird that part of me wants to fight you? Just to see. It's something I'll never get the chance to do." Another pause. "And something Mom would be angry about if she ever saw it. Don't tell her I said that."

The smile tugging at the corners of his mouth wasn't easily defeated.

Growing more solemn, he said, "My time away started after a raid gone wrong. You knew about these other dimensions, didn't you? Did you meet Wanderlust?" He didn't expect a reply. "Either way, I was dying when I got there, and the person who saved me? He turned out to be Omega. Somehow, I let him run circles around me. But I'll get him. It doesn't matter if he's hiding. It's on me to end him.

"And I will. I got stronger there, my body is better than before, my powers, refined. I just need a little more time. I'll bring him down, I swear it on my life."

Rather than speaking more, he let the weight of his promise hang. That was now two oaths he was staking his life on. While he didn't regret them in the least, he felt the added burden settle on his shoulders.

This was necessary; he needed to feel the pressure, the fire. To make sure he would perform when the time came.

But that was in the future. Right now, he had more to say. Lighter in tone.

"I went to America. By accident. It caught me off-guard when I had to stay there for a couple of days. Many of the rumors about the tech there are true. Most of them aren't, but that's to be expected. I got a new phone of it, and a weapon. It was easy. Preparatory more so than relaxing."

He sighed.

"You never introduced me to Aiden. He told me you knew him. Thinking back on it, I would've expected someone like you to be more open about their personal life at work. Then again, that might be the exact reason you didn't.

"It doesn't matter anymore though. I met him anyway, and he's been a bigger help than I'd ever admit to his face. Without him, I doubt I would have had the same insights about my power that I did. And I plan to train with him soon, when we both have the time and tools available to us. He said he had something he could get ready."

His right hand combed through the shorter hair on his head. "Aiden gave me a haircut just earlier when we were catching. I don't know if this looks good, since I'm not a fashion expert. And I won't care how it looks, as long as I don't need to rely on my eyes." He shrugged. "My personal takes aside, I do wish you were here to see it. It sort of looks like yours. Same with the costume."

His voice lowered.

"I can't be like you," he whispered.

"Before I landed in the US, I got teleported back to South America. I fought primebeasts, Seraphim's summoned monsters, two army squads—for a few minutes. All to lead out some refugees I couldn't leave well enough alone. It tooks me months while you could have gotten them out in a few hours. I even…"

He let out a forceful sigh, arms flopping to his sides. "I even killed someone." There. He'd admitted it. It was out in the open.

"I killed someone," he repeated, making it real. Unavoidable. "A stranger breathing her dying breaths. She asked for it. She had no other way out. I examined her as best I could and determined there was no good option. She was a soldier, there was blood on her hands too. I tell myself that every day, but her face when she died. I see it every day. Is that normal?"

Nothing to fill the lull but his mind, and it wasn't a kind place at the moment.

Birds began to chirp, bringing him out of his spiraling thoughts. He was made cognizant of the time, getting up to stand. There was an internal clock, he'd simply started filtering it out of his conscious awareness.

"It's time for me to go. Life's gotten busier for me these days. I have a few items on my schedule before I continue my search tonight." His gaze angled down. "There's also more time in the day. It's convenient not having to sleep. I'm getting used to it, at least. Jack said even the idea was making him tired." He snorted softly in amusement, proceeding in a peaceful voice, "It's understandable. The important part is to move forward, no matter how slow the steps are.

"I'm going to do my absolute best, and more, to uphold my responsibilities. It's just not about me anymore. It's about everyone I still need to protect. Everyone I could lose if I fail."

Leaning forward, his hand touched cold granite one last time.

"Bye, Dad. I'll come back soon. Hopefully as a good son."

With slow, deliberate steps, Finn walked away from the headstone.

The grave was silent.

In loving memory of

Quentin Miles Allister

1990 - 2026

He left the world better, and us stronger

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