Idiot’s Paradox: A LitRPG Apocalyptic Adventure [Book 1 Complete]

B2 - Chapter 59: A Little Bit of Rebellion


Plastic crunched underneath their feet, the street littered with empty cartons, flimsy plastic bags, and bottles. That sharp, noxious reek of burning plastic was back, as if someone had dumped a container inside of a microwave and turned it on until it charred.

Logan hadn't been gone long, but already, the plastic ooze monster had managed to grow to a massive degree. It was larger than before, the size of a three-storey house. It was round, the insides made up of clear, gleaming red… goo. As if the System had smashed ten thousand Jello molds together to form a colossal monster. On the outside of the ooze, the thing didn't have skin or anything but red goo, but it had latched onto thousands of pieces of plastic, using them as its shell or…

Wait.

It wasn't using it as just a shell, it was eating the plastic. As Logan watched, a carton ten inches across sunk into the monster, dissolving into clear slick before it transformed into red ooze.

That's why it wanted plastic. It made it bigger. Holy crap, if the thing kept eating and growing at this rate, soon it would become the size of an unmitigated disaster.

Where the hell had it come from? Until now, Logan had encountered a variety of different monsters, but most had a clear animal origin. The undead mycelium was the only thing he could think of that was this whacked, but again, that had been spreading mushrooms, not this blobby ooze.

Was this what everyone should expect? The longer the Integration went on, the weirder the monster? If that were the case, Logan wasn't looking forward to the state of the world in a year's time.

Furrowing his brow, he scanned the blob with [Idiot's Inspect]:

[Plastic Ooze Monster. Level 122. A monster that crawled out of the depths of the ocean, consuming everything that it touches in oozing pus. The Plastic Ooze Monster is attracted to plastic and will use it as its shell.]

[Highest stat: Agility. Characteristics: An overreaching need to add to its shell. Hidden name: Crinkle.]

Holy shit. It had leveled up, going from level 90 to level 122 that quickly? He'd barely been gone an hour! Making a snap decision, Logan took out a bucket of sand from his spatial collar and reformed his helmet and facemask, and then quickly turned his gloves into talons, keeping the ones on his sword arm short, while giving himself ten-inch-long talons on his left. Eyeing Charlie and the others, he debated activating the mimicry effect and making himself invisible, but they'd need to see him if he had any chance of keeping them alive.

Mia gave him a considering look, her face blank as she took in the change. Her brown hair was straight and pulled into a tight ponytail, emphasizing her sharp, pale cheekbones. To get to her level, he would have thought she would wear at least pants and a long-sleeved shirt, something to give her protection against injury, but she seemed fine with her shorts and t-shirt. Logan had transported her with her book in hand, and she fiddled with the dog-eared pages before tucking it into the waistband of her shorts.

"You might want to put that down," said Logan.

Mia wrinkled her nose. "I like that book. Don't want to lose it."

Voss gave her a dubious look and then shuffled away, closer to Jax and Charlie. He'd swung his meat tenderizer over one shoulder and was standing with his legs far apart, as if ready to brace himself for a blow.

"Well, thanks for the lift, mate," said Charlie to Logan, his eyes brittle. "Next time a bit of warning would be nice, though, yes? But no worries, no worries, it saved us from a walk about!" He gazed up at the blob with raised eyebrows before grinning and striding over to Lachlan. "It looks like you're up! Show us what you're made of! Come on, show us why your mom deserves a spot in one of the upper floors!"

Charlie slapped Lachlan on the back, forcing the man to take a step forward before Lachlan skidded to a stop with a look of alarm. "You're expecting me to go first?" he asked, shifting his grip on his cast iron skillet, a muscle in his jaw twitching in trepidation.

Logan looked at them askance and cleared his throat. "Perhaps it's not the smartest strategy to make Lachlan approach first, not when we don't know the monster's strengths. At his level, we need to be careful."

It would be like forcing an ant to approach an elephant. The ant could bite the elephant all it wanted, but the elephant would do nothing but stomp on it until it was mush.

Charlie sneered. "What would a Canadian know of strategy? I bet you did nothing but level up by hiding in your frigging igloo and spearing passing seals and polar bears on their way past."

Jax laughed in disbelief. "I don't think they live in igloos anymore, boss!"

Logan felt a surge of annoyance simmer in his stomach. Charlie had already come across as an asshole, and that was before he'd known he was ignorant and ready to risk lives. Despite his original espousing of why he'd needed Logan to join the fighting party, as far as he was concerned, their way of 'leveling up' everyone else was bullshit.

Originally, he'd been excited to meet Damsel, excited that she'd managed to level up without doing despicable things like the Man in Black. But if she hung around with people like Charlie and left him in charge, that didn't say much for her leadership skills.

Logan held back a sigh. It would be nice to come across someone who was high leveled who had a good head on their shoulders and was sane, and not a murderous psycho. But he may have to alter his expectations. Without Logan entering the trial dungeon, he never would have advanced as far as he did. Ernie would have helped, but there's only so much leveling you could do against monsters such as the flying snake swarms or rabid squirrels.

No, he'd have better luck finding sane people who were under level 50, since at least he'd know that most of them hadn't advanced from massive murdering and XP harvesting.

Charlie shot Jax a frown. "Well, if you're so knowledgeable, maybe you should be the one who starts us off. Yeah, I reckon that's the way to go."

Jax straightened, his meaty hands flexing, before he dipped his head in deference. "Perhaps one of our other draftees can start us off, huh, boss?" He sidled over to his wrestling partner and slapped him in the back. "What do you say, Voss? Want to get us started? Show us what you can do with that meat smasher?"

Voss' neck flushed red, beads of sweat trailing down his forehead. Despite his clear nervousness, he puffed his chest and tested his meat tenderizer as if he were getting ready to swing.

Voss was level 29 and at least higher leveled than Lachlan, but the blob was still almost a hundred levels above him. Fuck, these assholes were going to get these people killed.

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Enough was enough. "Come on," said Logan, gesturing with his head. "I'll go with you, and we'll test this thing together."

"Oi!" exclaimed Charlie. "That's not how we do things here, mate! You're here to help, not here to baby them, understand? We need to know what they can do first." His voice sharpened. "Voss, I expect a good showing, understand?"

Underneath his mask, Logan shot him a glare. "That may be how you do things, but it's not my way. Unless you want to approach the monster first on your own and put your money where your mouth is?"

Logan waited a beat, but Charlie's mouth only flattened.

"No? I thought not."

Logan pulled on Voss' arm and urged him forward, making sure to keep his talons away from his skin. "I don't care what he says or what this group expects of you. Don't kill yourself in the pursuit of pride."

Voss blinked at him.

"Come on, man. You must know that you're no match for this thing. It's level 122. You know what that means."

Voss followed Logan but then gave Charlie and the others a quick glance, pushing out his chest, but when he turned around to face Logan, he dropped all pretences, and his face became weathered and weary. "They kill people who don't fight," he said in an undertone.

"What?"

"I've heard the stories. Way too many people don't come back from these fighting parties for it to be anything else. The ones that returned said that if they didn't like your performance, they decide that you don't get to return. I'm not stupid, I know this thing will kill me, but at least I have a chance if I try. If I refuse to fight, I might as well be dead."

"I won't let them do that to you."

"They won't do it while you're here, but you bet your ass I'll receive a knife to the back once I return to the complex."

Logan blinked and then gave Charlie and the others a cold look. "It's like that, then?" he said, making sure to keep his voice low.

"Weakness here is death. Lachlan isn't going to make it, not with that showing. He protested too much. Out of shape, only bringing an elderly mom to the complex? He won't last long."

Not if Logan could help it.

Then Logan frowned. Aww, shit. So much for his in-and-out, fight the blob, craft the lodestone, then get the shit out of dodge attitude. If he were less of a man, he'd disregard this shit and get out of here, but Logan wouldn't be Logan if he did nothing and let this stand. The System ranked him number two in the world, and he had to believe that with that power, it gave him a degree of responsibility. If he let the high-ranking XP harvesters make policies and let the strong take advantage of the weak, what kind of world would he be saving?

Shit like this made his stomach slosh. Fuck, just imagine Lara in Lachlan's place. A Lara who was lower leveled who would have approached this complex looking for safety, only to find that the way to get it was to put her life in jeopardy. Shit shit shit, but he couldn't destroy the place. He was here for a reason, and although the people who ran the complex needed a kick in the ass, there had to be good people here.

Logan felt his anger surge and had to give himself a mental talking to. One thing at a time. He was only one person. Giving himself a complex worrying about everything wasn't the answer.

But fuck's sake, there was no reason to follow the script anymore, not when he'd decided that Charlie and anyone else who followed his policies needed to go. After all, if he got rid of Charlie, he could still craft his lodestone.

But then there was the problem of Damsel. If Logan took Charlie out, did that mean he'd be fighting someone close to his own level? Fuck fuck fuck. Logan didn't have time for this!

Logan raised his voice so the others could hear him. "I want you to stay here, Voss. I'm going to kill this thing on my own. No reason to get involved."

Charlie let out a bark of laughter. "That's not the deal, asshole! That's not why you're here!"

Logan didn't even spare him a glance. "I could give a shit why I'm here. And a shit what you think."

There was silence behind him, a weighted pause.

Then Mia broke the silence with a giggle. "That's a new way to approach this. Does that mean that I'm off the hook?"

Charlie fingered the handle of his knife, his eyes dark. "Well, well, well. It looks like we have a selfish user on our hands here, someone who wants the XP all for himself. No, my dear, it doesn't mean you're off the hook; it doesn't work that way." He jerked his head at the blob. "But if Logan wants to kill the monster by himself, well, good on him! But not before we get our pound of flesh. Mia, get at it, get some participation points."

Logan came to a stop and then turned around, making sure to keep his senses open to monitor the blob. He still had no idea what it could do.

Mia had her hands on her hips, her eyes glittering. "Fine." As she raised her hands palm side up, a slight breeze started to flutter, rustling the plastic bags and litter and sending that noxious smell from the blob wafting past Logan's nose. Behind Mia, her ponytail swung in the breeze, and then flapped as the breeze increased to wind.

Up above, a metal streetlight swayed, creaking, and then made an alarming, metal on metal scraping sound. With a flash of Mia's eyes, the entire pole detached from the base connected to the street. But rather than crashing to the ground, Mia lifted it in the air with an invisible force, letting it hover before she sent it flying with a flick of her hand towards the blob.

Telekinesis then. [Idiot's Inspect] had said that she had control over metal.

The pole flew towards the blob too fast for the normal eye to follow, slamming into the thing with a dull thud, the end of the light burying ten feet into the red flesh. The blob pulsed like a squeeze ball under pressure, blubber fluttering, before with a slurping sound, it spit the light right out.

Huh. Other than interrupting its plastic shell, it hadn't done any damage at all.

But that hadn't been Mia's goal. Her goal had been to hit it so that when Logan brought it down, she'd receive experience points.

With a shout, Charlie threw her a bright grin and then broke into a run, his feet pounding the street, his knife bouncing on his thigh as he rushed past Logan and went directly for the monster. He came to a skidding stop ten feet away from it and then peered up at it with a smirk. For all his asshole-ness, at least he wasn't intimidated by the three-storey looming shadow. Digging his feet in, he faced the blob and then with a huge swing of his arms, slammed his hands together, causing a sound like thunder to ricochet towards the blob.

What the fuck?

But just like Mia, he had a skill, and his clap had caused a shudder of air to hurtle in all directions with percussion force.

Lachlan shouted and pressed his hands over his ears, grimacing in pain, while the others twisted their mouths uncomfortably. Logan's helmet had lessened the effect, but even he could feel a slight pressure ringing in his ears.

Charlie twirled in place, practically clacking his heels in pleasure as he strode back over to the rest of the group with a twinkle in his eyes.

Whatever he'd done had done shit to the blob other than pissing it off. With a ripple, its plastic covering shifted as the massive ball of ooze leaned towards Logan and the others, leaned so much that it looked like it was trying to swallow them whole.

Logan pushed off with his Pink Sock, grabbed Voss and Lachlan's arms on his way past, and then pulled them out of the way.

It seemed a shame that Mia and Charlie would receive XP, and yet Lachlan and Voss would be excluded. Like hell.

Releasing Voss, he kept a grip on the back of Lachlan's jacket and grabbed him by the neck. "Are you holding your skillet?"

"What?" Lachlan shrieked. Logan had startled him when he'd thrown them out of the way, and he was still windmilling his arms.

"Do you have your skillet?" he demanded.

"Yes!" he screamed.

"Then hit the blob when I move you."

"Move me? What are you—" That's all the time he had before Logan deployed [Threshold Shift] to transport them in front of the blob with a pop. To Logan, he'd gotten used to the skill, but Lachlan gagged as he materialized, his back hunched over as if he were about to be sick.

"Hit it!" Logan shouted, but Lachlan only flailed and blinked in confusion.

"For fuck's sake." Grasping Lachlan's arm in a tight grip, Logan forced the man to swing his skillet. At first, it was like trying to command a puppet, his skillet flying in the wrong direction, before Logan got the hang of it and forced him to bash the side of the blob. His swing knocked away a plastic bag and an empty plastic drink container and then slammed directly onto the blob's fleshy oozing sides.

That had to be enough.

Logan deployed [Threshold Shift] and brought Lachlan back to the others, and then jumped over to Voss.

"Get ready!"

Unlike Lachlan, Voss caught on quickly. He bounced on the balls of his feet, his meat tenderizer in one hand as he got ready to swing. Logan deployed [Threshold Shift] again and brought Voss to the other side of the monster, hoping that the change in direction would come as a surprise. So far, the thing had been a cumbersome blob, not agile at all and not able to offer any defense.

As soon as they materialized, Voss let out a shout and swung his meat tenderizer. He bashed away a plastic carton and hit the blob so forcefully that the tenderizer sunk into the red ooze, the metal block and then then the handle, so deeply that Voss' hand ended up stuck inside.

And then Voss started screaming.

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