Where the Dead Things Bloom [Romantically Apocalyptic Systemfall Litrpg]

36: Roughhousing


I couldn't help but laugh as Candace and Adelle rolled across the floor, a tangle of silver and orange fur, fake cries, and playful snarls filling the room. Candace made no effort to cover herself, her fluffy tail swishing provocatively as she squirmed in Adelle's grip, who's robe was coming off too during their play-fight.

"Halp!" Candace gasped dramatically, her gray eyes sparkling with mischief as she shot me a sultry glance. "This beast is ravaging me!"

"Ravaging, huh?" Adelle snorted, tightening her hold and giving Candace's behind a swat. "Keep wiggling like that, Loops, and I'll show you ravaging."

"Is that a promise?" Candace purred, arching her back just enough to emphasize her assets, her voice dripping with mock seduction.

"For Slayer's sake, put some clothes on, you shameless vixen," Kristi growled, her emerald-violet feathers bristling.

"Why?" Candace asked. "It's not like Alec isn't staring at your tits now."

Kristi flashed violet and yanked her own robe tighter around herself. Her eyes flicked to me, narrowing as if I were somehow responsible for Candace's antics. "You! Stop encouraging this!"

"I'm not encouraging anything," I commented, trying not to laugh.

"You're not reprimanding them either," Kristi pointed out. "Look, they're practically making out! No, wait, don't look!" She blocked the view of the fox and cheetah with her frame, arms crossed over her chest, feathers fluttering.

"Nuuu! Stop raptor-censoring us!" Candace laughed. "Boo!"

Nessy, still curled against my side, let out a soft giggle. "Slayer, they're incorrigible," she murmured, her blue eyes warm with amusement. Her paw tightened on my chest, dark claws grazing my skin just enough to send a shiver down my spine.

"Hey, sooooo," Nessy asked, her voice low as she leaned closer to my face. "What's the deal with you and the fox, anyway?"

"Deal?" I repeated, my brain struggling to process things due to how close she was, her breath warm. "There's no deal. She's just... like that."

"Like what?" Nessy pressed, blue eyes searching my face. "Constantly invading your personal space? Flirting with you? Kissing you without permission?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Candace is essentially a space invader in prad form. She has no concept of boundaries, or maybe she does, and she just enjoys crossing them for fun to mess with me. We're not... together or anything, if that's what you're asking. I haven't had much interaction with girls or prad girls for that matter back home, so I honestly have no idea how to deal with her."

Nessy's ears twitched, and I could have sworn I felt her relax slightly against me. "So there's nothing going on between you two?"

"Other than her trying to scandalize everyone in a five-mile radius? No." I shook my head. "I've known her for two days, Ness. Two very long, very bizarre days."

Nessy considered this, her tail swishing thoughtfully. "You didn't seem to mind the kiss," she observed.

I felt heat rising to my cheeks. "I was caught off guard," I said defensively. "And she pranced off before I could even say anything this time."

"Mmm-hmm," Nessy hummed, not sounding entirely convinced. "Hang on, this time?"

I sighed. "Yeah, she tried kissing at the hotel yesterday. I pulled away then."

"But not this time," Nessy observed, her tail swishing a bit faster for some reason.

"She was way faster this time!" I protested. "And she's in my pack with you now, which… I honestly don't know what it means! It's not like we're dating or anything!"

Nessy huffed in response.

"Bind arms!" "Oi that's cheating, gimme back my arms!" I heard Candace's and Adelle's voices from below.

Cheeky gray eyes appeared over the rim of the bed, silver ears wiggling. A mischievous grin spread across her face as she reached toward me with slender fingers.

"Soon," she purred, her voice dropping to a sultry whisper.

Before her paw could make contact with me, Nessy's white arm shot out, planting firmly on Candace's forehead and pushing her back down.

"Nope," Nessy declared firmly.

"I will return in greater numbers," Candace threatened, giggling. "Tun tun tun tuunnnn tun tun." She hummed the theme from Jaws. Her silver tail moved across the edge of the bed like a shark fin.

Kristi reached out from the bed and grabbed the twitching silver tail. Candace let out a melodramatic yelp as the raptor yanked her upright by her tail.

"That's quite enough out of you," Kristi growled, dragging Candace across the room despite the theatrical fox noises she was making.

"Ahhh! This is tail-napping!" Candace cried out, making no actual effort to escape as Kristi rummaged through the closet. "Release me! I have important Alec-teasing business to attend to!"

"First. Put. This. On." Kristi pulled out her Ferguson High hoodie and forcefully tugged it over Candace's head, wrestling the fox's arms through the sleeves while Candace made it seem like she was enjoying every second of the raptorhandling.

"Ooh, forceful!" Candace purred, her tail swishing provocatively. "I like it when you take charge, bird-bae."

"Slayer, why are you like this?"

"Like watttt?"

"It's not nice to paw people without permission," Kristi scolded as she yanked the hoodie down over Candace's chest.

"Is that so?" Candace asked. "I had no idea! No one ever taught me proper human-pawing etiquette! I'm just a poor, clueless princess who ran away from home and was raised by wild bikers in the… wild."

The light from the windows struck her silver mane, making it ignite with rainbow shimmers as she wiggled her splayed fingers and stuck her tongue out at us.

"You literally ran away from school four months ago," Krysanthea pointed out.

"Four grueling, terrible months during which I forgot how to behave in high society!" Candace declared. "Blame Captain Adler! Her excessive dumbness is clearly contagious!"

"You're lucky my arms are paralyzed!" Addie commented. "Or I'd give you a smack on the noggin."

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

"Ah, ah! Now I remember. She knocked all the social rules outta me with noggin' smacks!" The moment Kristi released her, Candace darted back to the bed, now wearing Kristi's hoodie, which left her long, toned legs entirely bare.

She plunked down on the bed next to me and Nessy.

"Nessy," Candace said sweetly, batting her eyelashes at the husky. "May I have your permission to paw our Alpha? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

Nessy blinked, clearly caught off guard by being consulted. "I—what? That's not for me to—"

"See! She's not saying no!" Candace declared triumphantly, immediately draping herself across my lap.

"That's not what I meant!" Nessy protested, her ears flattening.

"Oh? Whatever do you mean then? Do you want to paw at him together? We can take turns," Candace grinned cheekily. "I can show you alllllll sorts of man-pawing… techniques."

"Wh-what t-techniques?" Nessy sputtered.

"Come on babes, I know that you pine for some premium pawage," Candace encouraged. "You don't gotta hold back on my account, you know."

Nessy looked like she wanted to melt through the floor.

"Okay, that's enough fox shenanigans," I finally found my voice and pushed Candace off my lap. She tumbled onto the bed with a dramatic yelp, tail swishing as she rolled into a lounging position.

"Spoilsport," she pouted cheekily.

"Why are you so hyper?" Kristi demanded.

"I'm not hyper, I'm full of vigor after the mana wine last night!"

"I drank way more than you and you don't see me fluttering around like a hurricane," Adelle commented.

"I'm just excited 'cus my newest Dagaz binding is working even better than expected," Candace explained.

"Better in what way?" Kristi wondered.

"We can all share mana now as long as we're touching!" Candace revealed.

"That sounds suspiciously like an excuse to paw at people," Adelle commented as she finally managed to get feeling back into her magic-paralyzed arms, flexing her claws. "Aha! Freedom! You're so dead, fox!"

Candace squealed, darting behind Kristi for protection. "Help! This wild cheetah is going to bonk me!"

"Not my problem," Kristi said, stepping aside with a smirk.

"Aleeeeec! Save me!" Candace pleaded, diving behind me and using my body as a shield.

"You brought this on yourself," I laughed.

Candace gasped in mock betrayal. "After all we've been through together! The pack bond means nothing to you?!"

"It means I get to enjoy watching you get your comeuppance," I replied with a grin.

"Nessy will protect me! Right, doggo?" Candace looked hopefully at the husky.

"Hmm, I think I'll sit this one out too," Nessy said, tail wagging with amusement.

Adelle pounced, tackling Candace to the floor once again.

"Pack betrayal!" Candace cried out between giggles as Adelle tickled her mercilessly. "Mutiny! Rebellion! Aha ha ha, stahp, noooo, my weak spots! I'm dying!"

Determining that the fox was thoroughly distracted with cheetah roughhousing, Kristi stepped over to my side staring down at me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Alec," she began, claws nervously tapping against each other. "I'd like to ask you on a date."

"What?" Nessy sputtered beside me.

"Without these two knobs getting in the way," she added, eyeing the pair rolling on the floor.

"What, just me and you?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Hrm," I considered her offer. "Can we bring Nessy along? Pretty sure she owes you a date with four years of interest."

Kristi glanced at the flustered-looking husky and nodded. "Fine."

Nessy's tail started to wag rapidly.

A knock at the door interrupted the moment. We all froze, looking at each other.

"Expecting someone?" I asked.

"Yes! That must be Goobs with the new armor I ordered last night," Candace exclaimed, somehow slipping out of Adelle's grip like a greased eel. She bounded to the door.

"Candace!" Kristi hissed. "Put some pants on!"

Too late. The fox had already flung the door open wide, greeting the startled Scrutimancer with a cheerful, "Morning, Goobs!"

Goebel Sartre stood in the doorway, several large equipment cases floating behind him in a neat row. The bloodhound's professional demeanor remained intact as he stared at the fox.

"Miss Rhinehart," he said with practiced neutrality. "I've brought the additional armor sets you ordered last night."

"Fantastic! Bring them in!" Candace stepped aside, ushering him into our den.

The Scrutimancer's round, reflective spectacles took in the scene—me and Nessy still on the bed, Kristi flashing violet and clutching her robe closed with a mortified expression, Adelle sprawled on the floor looking smug, and various articles of clothing scattered throughout the room.

His expression never changed, though I swore I saw the corner of his mouth twitch.

"I'll just... set these down, shall I?" he said, directing the cases to float gently to the floor.

"Thanks, dawg!" Candace chirped.

"Of course, Miss Rhinehart," he replied, tapping his anti-grav bracelet and turning to leave. "Will there be anything else?"

"Nope! We're good!" Candace declared. "Toodles, Goobles."

She slammed the door shut as the large dog departed.

"I can't believe you answered the door like that," Kristi groaned, covering her face with her hands.

"Eh, it's not like he hasn't seen my leggoids before," Candace shrugged, already slicing the boxes with her white claws and pawing through the new armor cases. "Your hoodie covered all the important bits. Also, it don't matter, 'cus he's a pro Scrut. Them lenses he got on—they can see right through walls n' clothes!"

"Really?" Nessy asked.

"M-hhh-hmmm," Candace nodded. "He gotta see when people conceal magitek bombs n' guns n' stuff. 'Nways, who wants to try on some shiny new armor?"

. . .

The next hour was a flurry of activity as Candace helped us into our new and old gear. My armor set was already bound to me, but Candace insisted on "reinforcing" the binding, which mostly seemed to involve her running her hands over every inch of me with unnecessary thoroughness.

"This is a professional binding ritual," she insisted when I raised an eyebrow at her lingering touches.

"Uh-huh," I said skeptically. "Sure."

"It is!" she protested, silver ears and white whiskers twitching. "Ask any Binder. Total professionalism happening right here! Also, Nessy gave me pawing permissions!"

"Of which you seem to be taking advantage," Kristi commented.

"Give a fox a finger and she's gonna nom your entire heart!" Candace laughed.

For Nessy, Candace procured a new, sleek, midnight blue set with white accents that nicely matched her black and white fur. The armor was lightweight but sturdy, with rune-enhanced padding around the vital areas.

"This is designed for Bards," Candace explained as she helped Nessy fit all of the pieces on. "See these runes? They'll amplify your natural Charmchain."

"Charmchain enhancing runework?" Nessy's eyes widened as she flexed her arms, feeling the weight of the armor. "This is... Pretty advanced stuff. I've never worn anything this nice."

"Only the best for my lovely packmates," Candace winked, her hands glowing silver as she began the binding process. "Hold still now."

The devious fox seemed to paw Nessy as much as she pawed me, making the husky girl twitch and wiggle and make cute embarrassed noises.

Adelle's new armor was a striking orange-gold with black detailing, heavily reinforced around the arms and fists. "Close-up combat specialization," Candace explained. "Since you punch-broke your last set to oblivion."

"Hell yeah," Adelle grinned, examining the spiked knuckle guards with obvious approval.

For Kristi, Candace performed a re-binding of her existing armor, enhancing its magical properties and fixing the minor damage from yesterday's wyvern encounter using replacement belts.

"There," Candace said proudly when we were all suited up. "Now we look like a proper delving team!"

I had to admit, we did look impressive, almost like proper delvers about to head into a dungeon.

"Selfie time!" Candace declared, pulling out her phone out of nowhere and herding us together. "Say 'We're going to kick monster butt!'"

"We're going to kick monster butt," we echoed with varying degrees of enthusiasm as Candace snapped several pictures.

"Perfect!" she beamed, examining the results. "These are going straight to Pradstagram. #SquadGoals #NewPack #WatchOutDungeons."

My stomach growled loudly, interrupting Candace's social media moment.

"Someone's hungry," Nessy commented.

"Starving," I admitted. "Leveling up all night builds an appetite."

"Breakfast!" Adelle said with a wide grin. "I know a place nearby!"

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