Standing in the cool night air, beneath the moon, I was badly shaken.

I held the photographs in front of my visor so that Enki could see them through my own eyes.

It was rambling, Bones… hmmm… and you thought they were children. That is interesting. This certainly wasn't a disappointment. I can't say I'm familiar with all that gear though… it's from the end, that's clear. A.N.U.B.I.S… nope, that doesn't ring a bell either, but those bastards certainly liked to keep the same theme, didn't they? Ha! Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out someone was doing something unethical to kids, and killing most of them… except for you…

I just kept breathing in and out. Sempronius, I wouldn't call him father again, had always been driven. He'd been ruthless and ambitious. He had made a slave out of me to serve his ambition of winning a title and a place in the nobility. But this? This exceeded anything I had ever imagined.

I remembered the hare-lipped man talking about the wagons of children Sempronius had bought. Wagons that included me one fateful day. I had wondered what had happened to the others, why I was the one he had raised as a son. Now I knew. They had all died. He'd seen them die at his own hands by the dozen until one passed whatever challenge he had been pressing on them in that restraining chair.

Hey, I'll be right back. Gotta go do a little snooping. Shake some branches and see what falls out, that kinda thing. Stay right here.

I found the focus to say, I can't stay long. I'll be missed. I have to go back through the midnight door…

Oh relax, relax. I won't be that long. It's a very efficient process. Just cool your heels here for a few, kay?

I nodded. I felt it leave. I was getting better at sensing when Enki was with me and when it wasn't.

I looked at my gauntleted hands. I let the armor slither back until I was looking at my own flesh. I was the prodigy of prodigies. I had gained powers and attributes faster than any Griidlord in memory, maybe in history. I had wondered at that at times. It had been a source of pride. I was different to the others. I was better. For all the beatings my self-esteem had taken at Sempronius's hands… I was still good enough… except…

The rush of Enki's presence filled the suit again. Okay… it's making sense now. Anubis isn't part of the Oracle, but it is an entity… like me… but not like me. Anubis is, uh, how do I say this? Anubis is trapped in there, part of the gear you were looking at.

I said, And what does Anubis do?

Hooo-boy. I think you've mostly figured it out by now yourself, smart boy that you are.

I said, Anubis… made me…

You were the one that passed. It wasn't really ready when the Fall came. It wasn't here either, I can tell you that. From what I can find in the records, which are not perfect, Japanese commandos seized it in the last days of the war… oh… that's making a lot of sense now too…

I said, What? What's making sense?

Don't worry about it. Not one bit. Let's stick to the obvious for a min, kay honey? That device down there does exactly what you think it does. Deepens compatibility with the Griid, with the suit. It rewrites the neurons. No wonder you've got such a yummy brain. You were literally built for this, kiddo. Shame about the other little sprogs, I guess, but you gotta break some eggs to make a super Griidlord.

I felt emotion flush me. They weren't eggs. They were people! Children! No different to me! And they had to die to serve that fucker's goals? By the Oracle, I fucking hate him. I'd kill him again myself if he hadn't died already.

Feeling it, are we kiddo? Kind of an existential crisis? Well… I get that, I do. But what's done is done. It doesn't make you less special. Superman didn't earn his landing on earth and getting his power from the yellow sun. Wolverine had his adamantium skeleton forced into him—

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I roared, aloud, "ENOUGH WITH YOUR REFERENCES! This isn't light hearted. There's a graveyard down there of murdered children… and I… I don't know what I am…"

You're everything you were before… only now you know why and how… you're a machine, built for the suit. That's why you were sick, kiddo, when you were smaller. The process is… well, brutal enough to kill sixty kids! You wouldn't have walked away from it unscathed. Your brain was rewritten. It would have taken years of healing and rehabilitation. That's where your mystery malady came from.

I nodded slowly. It made so much sense. Sempronius had forced that sickened childhood on me too. My fist clenched, almost of its own accord and smashed through the wall of the monastery beside me. Bricks turned to dust in an explosion of force, the whole structure shaking.

Kiddo! Kiddo! Easy there. We don't want to bring the whole thing down and have to dig our way back down there.

I snarled, "I'm not going back down there!"

Well… see, the thing is… I wasn't sure if I was going to tell you this… I'm still not sure, tell the truth, but I'm just so damned curious… I don't know how pops got his hands on this thing, or how he figured out how to work it. Well, I might know. I have an idea. But I can tell you this for free. I really do know how to work it. I can make it work better than it did before.

My eyes widened, You'd do that again? Subject more children—

Enki laughed in my brain. Long and roaring. No! Oh no, kiddo. Not to other children. To you…

To me?

Yessireebob. Old Sempronius probably didn't know it, but the process can be repeated. Much better this time. All those lovely neurons are lined up the right way now. It won't be crippling. It might be devastatingly painful… but we can finish the job he started.

I spat, "I don't want any more to do with it!"

Kiddo, wait for me to finish. We can make you stronger. A lot stronger. I'm pretty sure that finishing the job will accelerate your progression even faster! Not just that, it might make you immune from the degeneration. We could have all the time we need! No more racing time to get the job done before your brain goes splat like the monkeys I worked with before. Just perfect, rapid progression, and no reason to rush. You could be a god.

I looked down at the flesh of my hands again, in revulsion. "I'm already a freak."

All those things you want to do… help Boston, win the war, impress the hotcheeks in purple, rewrite society, blah blah. How much easier would that be? Imagine being stronger than Morningstar in a year or two, instead of decades? Imagine being stronger than Julia was in just a few more years…

I did pause. The power called to me. From the moment I put the training suit on I had yearned for this power. From the day I increased my level the first time I had been addicted to the rush. I had grown stronger than Griidlords who should have terrified me. I wanted it. I did want to tower over the others. And I wanted the ability to make these things happen. To beat Buffalo, and Danefer, and the upheaval I planned…

I said, I could do it now? Just go down there? Just like that?

Just like that…

I whispered, With no consequences?

Silence.

I stopped, narrowing my eyes. You're holding something back.

Ehhhh….

You can't lie so you just clam up when you don't want me to know something. Tell me what it is? I'm not attaching myself to that thing if there's something I don't know.

A long sighing sound filled my mind. Okay… well, it won't knock you out like it did when you were a tike…

I said, Go on…

It will come at a price.

What price?

I don't know if there's a better way to put this exactly… it will cost… um… your humanity?

I stepped back.

Not your humanity in a literal sense. It's just that… first of all, this is based on research that wasn't finished like a bazillion years ago. It's not conclusive. But test results do suggest that the second treatment will… it will harmonize you with the Griid, deepen your connection with the suit, but the result over time will be a… it's not such a bad thing, a little dulling of your feelings…

I said, I don't like the sound of that. Finish what you're saying. Tell me all of it.

Fine. You want it straight? You get it straight. Over time your human brain will become something different. Better in my opinion. But the process will shift your mind, you'll start to lose your emotions. Love, hate, all of it will kind of… go away…

I thought of Racquel and the blossoming feelings there. I thought of Perdinger and the rage that boiled. These were the things that made me. I wouldn't be me without them. What you're talking about is a kind of slow suicide.

Kiddo! No! You'd still be you, just… you wouldn't give much of a shit about those paltry little human things… you could still smooch genitals with females, you just mightn't care which female. That kind of thing.

I stopped, breathing. Taking the information in.

Soooo? Are we gonna mosey on down there and become a god?

Lines of light sliced the air before me, building a door of pure brilliant whiteness. I stepped through, back to my lands, my war, intending to forget about this terrible place.

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