Renn's voice was distant, but obvious in my ears. She was a few rooms down from me, and I could hear the many others she was currently heavily debating with.
Oplar was the loudest of the group, but even quiet Hands had spoken up loudly during the debates. I was a little worried that a few of the members, such as Jelti and Karma, hadn't spoken up much but I knew it was likely just a matter of time before they did.
Pretty much everyone was there with Renn. Even Mapple. A few of the humans were even there, such as Oplar's mail girls. Though I'd not heard much from them really.
Debating like they were doing was a healthy thing. No one really ever shared completely similar ideals and beliefs. No two people were the same, deep down, so it was a good thing they were actually arguing and debating on what they believed was right and wrong amongst themselves.
I, being the protector, was staying out of it.
And for once I had a companion.
"It's a good thing I've learned to write with both hands, though I can tell it'll take time to make it proper and clean," Randle said lightly as he continued writing in the small book.
He was settling his affairs. And judging by how many reports and signatures he's had to sign since he sat down across from me it was a lot more than I had assumed.
We were in his normal office. The one he rarely used anymore. Down the hallway a bit was a large room perfect for group talk, which I knew was likely a mess right now. Renn and I had gathered up a bunch of extra chairs and tables from nearby rooms for everyone who had slowly showed up to talk in depth about what was happening, and the hows and whys.
"Might start practicing with your feet, or mouth, just in case now," I said lightly as I slowly ran my finger along the edge of the letter I was pretending to read.
Randle paused in his writing to look up at me. "Why Vim, that's absolutely hilarious," he said flatly.
"I do think so at least," I said with a nod.
"Hm… Have you ever gone a long time without a limb, Vim? The few times I've seen you lose one they always seem to be back by the next time I see you," he asked.
"Usually they grow back quickly, because they get torn off during battle. During battle my abilities are more… active. I heal quicker than normal. That being said, I have lost limbs and stuff during my more normal moments. When that happens it can take a bit for them to grow back, though I couldn't tell you how long it actually takes… it's been a long time since I've had to worry about it. I want to say a week or two? But maybe it takes longer…?" I wondered.
Randle was quiet for a moment as he stared at me, and then he put his pen down. "You know… I don't think I've ever actually talked to you about such things before," he noted.
"No. I don't think we have," I said.
He hummed for a moment, as we then heard a group of voices all talk up at once. They all seemed to try and get heard over the others for a moment, before a single deeper voice broke through and silenced the rest.
"Who is that?" I asked.
"Sounds like Apso. He arrived a few weeks ago with his wife," Randle said.
"Apso…?" I mumbled as I tried to remember who the heck that was.
"They live a little to the west of here. They're those canines that moved closer to be near Henrietta and her family, you helped move them here about a decade ago from their short stay in Lumen," Randle reminded me.
"Ah…" I nodded, and felt a little panicky.
I'd forgotten all about them… have I even visited them since taking them to that small village nearby…?
No. But they did live close enough, only a few days away from here, that I suppose if something was wrong and they had needed me they'd have been able to get help all the same.
"They don't like you much. They were hoping to have a child, as to set them up with Fizz. Well, so far no children," Randle stated.
"What…? Why are you saying it like that, as if they blame me for their lack of children?" I asked.
"Because they do. One of their visits here, while visiting the dogs, you made a small comment to Henrietta and Fizz that they had taken offense to. They've never gotten over it," Randle said.
Frowning at that, I shook my head and struggled to remember any of the details. "What had I said?" I asked. Usually I wasn't the type to make off-handed comments like that. I knew better.
"I don't know Vim. They're pagans. It's why they live there and not here. They don't like me much either," he said simply as he leaned back a little and stared at me.
I sighed and nodded. At least this Apso wasn't speaking anymore. Now it sounded like Sillti, the new addition here. She was asking a question.
"Are she and Link still a thing?" I asked.
"Too much so. It's almost annoying," Randle said as he nodded.
Good. That was good.
Tapping my letter, I wondered how long it had been since we were last here. Two months? Three almost…?
Yes. Very good. If they were still together this long then there was good odds it'd become something permanent. That was wonderful. For both of them.
Link was an odd man, like his father, and Sillti was… well… one I had worried over originally. The poor girl hadn't just been slightly abused by her husband, I had killed him too. Publicly at that. A lot of people ran from the Society after such an experience. So her finding and clinging to someone else so quickly was actually a good thing. Especially since I knew Link was as good as he was odd.
His father had been a great, loyal, man. I expect him to be the same. Made of the same cloth.
Randle then coughed, clearing his throat. I glanced at him, wondering if dust had gotten into his throat or something. This place wasn't the cleanest, likely thanks to his lack of using it lately.
He collected himself well enough, telling me it had been on purpose. "Tell me Vim… how often have we disagreed?" he asked.
"Most of your life, I'm sure."
"Hm… indeed. When I think of you, I only think of chaos and failures. The sieges. The executions. The banishments… but today I wonder who is truly to blame for all that? What if I've all this time been blaming the wrong man?" he asked.
"If you're going to try and be poetic or philosophical, don't. I'm beyond such petty absolutions," I said.
"Ah, but are you? You are if you're a higher being, but regretfully you claim—rightfully so, to not be. So…?" Randle asked, undisturbed by my tone I had tried to use to diffuse this topic.
Wanting to roll my eyes, I shifted a little and flung the letter onto the desk. So that I'd not rip and tear it in my annoyed state. "Semantics, Randle. I may not be a higher being, but I am so old and strong that I simply cannot be compared to a normal man. It's ridiculous to claim so," I said.
"Yet it seems with age does not always come wisdom. Though… maybe your actions do indeed have wise reasons, I just can't perceive them all," he wondered.
Shaking my head at him, I wondered if his banishment and failure to protect his home and purpose had made him insane or just simply melancholic. "If you really want to have this conversation, have it with Renn. I'm not in the mood," I said.
"Hm… I might. But I'd like to have it with you all the same," he said.
"Please, Randle. I get enough of this from her, and I don't even like you. Technically I'm supposed to hate you right now, what with you being banished," I said.
Honestly I was growing tired of such conversations. I still felt slightly exhausted from the one I recently had a little bit ago with Renn, concerning my theory about their prophecies centered around her. Renn had oddly understood where my thought process came from, and even seemed to slightly agree with me, which worried me terribly.
It meant she likely knew of a prophecy. Maybe from Celine, or one of the saints she's met throughout her life. It made me wonder almost if Renn had known all along about us, or rather what we'd become. But I knew better than to actually believe so. Renn wouldn't have tried to stay at the Sleepy Artist back in the beginning if that had been the case. Plus, in the beginning, she had acted a little distant with me. As if on edge or worried. Though it had been because she had feared my banishing her from the Society, or finding her wanting, so I knew it wasn't because she had worried over my not liking her.
Whatever prophecy she knew of, was something recent. Something she'd heard after meeting me. After joining the Society.
Luckily Renn hasn't spoken of them with me, and hopefully wouldn't ever, but it was obvious she knew something she wasn't telling me.
Add that to the way the Chronicler acted, then it all made obvious sense.
I missed the days where I didn't have to deal with such things. Longed for them, even.
"Such an odd way of life. To allow your own emotions and feelings to be controlled by archaic rules set by another," Randle then said.
Reaching up, I rubbed my eyes. "By my parents you're insufferable," I said.
Randle was silent for a moment, but I knew it wasn't over. I stopped rubbing my eyes and glanced at him, he was staring at me oddly.
"What?" I asked.
"Who were your parents, Vim?" he asked.
"A mother and father. Typical. Like everyone else has," I said.
"Hm… I think not. Are they still living?" he asked.
"No. I'd threaten that you won't be either here soon if you keep it up, but regretfully I'm starting to like you," I said.
He chuckled and nodded. "Oddly I can tell. I wonder why that is…? Is it my banishment? Do you like that I've bitten the hand that fed and supported me all this time?" he asked.
"I do. But no. I respect a man who stands for his convictions. I also respect one who knows when he's beat. You're both of those and more," I said honestly.
Randle frowned at me for a bit and then smiled. "Thank you, Vim. For the compliments I've never received before," he said.
"Don't tell anyone," I warned him.
He nodded. "Yes. A terrible thing, to admit one is actually a good man."
I shrugged as I reached to the pile of letters. The unopened ones.
Grabbing a random letter, I sighed as I opened it and unfolded the few pages. The writing was a little messy, but I was able to read Nebl's writing.
For a moment I read his letter in mock silence. The voice filtered from down the hallway were actually dim and faded. I heard them thanks to whom and what I was. But I knew no human, and maybe even most non-humans, could make out any actual words being said likely from even before that room's door.
The room was quiet, yet loud all the same as I turned the page and read the last bit of his letter.
"If you step down Vim… There will be nothing to stop them."
I finished reading Neble's letter before looking over at Randle. "What?" I asked with a sigh.
"All of those like me, on all sides of the pews, will suffer. They will slowly, yes over decades, remove everyone they disagree with. Oplar. Jelti. Henrietta. Even those like your friend there, Nebl," Randle gestured to my letter, which told me he recognized the smithy's color. "All of them will be seen as potential threats, such as they had me. The only ones who will likely escape such a thing are those like Link and Hands. People who are useful and not a threat to them. People who can be controlled and contained, and do not desire anything more than their simple lives," Randle said.
Although I agreed with him, I still shook my head. "How is Jelti and the dogs a threat to them, Randle?" I asked.
"The same way you are Vim. You give members the knowledge that other choices are available than the one dictated upon them. You give options. Jelti may not actually grant them… but she shows them that they are available, simply by existing. The dogs as well. They do not belong to the faith, yet through their own struggles and efforts have built one of the greatest support systems for the downtrodden. They like such service, but do not like the fact they do it while not wearing their symbols and preaching their words," Randle explained.
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"Thanks for reminding me that I've always hated your way with words," I spat as I tossed Nebl's letter onto the desk.
"I've spent most my life preaching the words of my gods. I've had the best teachers."
I scoffed as I slowly stood up. The chair I had been sitting in creaked a bit, but didn't break as I tapped the desk and glanced around. I wanted to pace, but this office was slightly cluttered. There were boxes everywhere, likely because it was all being packed away.
"If I stay the protector of the Society… I'll be forced to intervene. That means actual confrontation. With a good portion of the Society, to boot. Even if what Light and the rest of her ilk are doing is infuriating and wrong, a large swath of our people support them. Or rely on their support enough to take their side even if they don't actually wish to. We're talking hundreds of our members," I said.
"Members misguided," Randle noted.
"Doesn't matter. No matter their reasons, their support is still support. Listen to them," I said with a gesture to the wall. The voices weren't loud, but one could tell they were still in a heated debate. Had been for well over two hours by now. Even some of the people I would have thought to be outright against Light and their tactics were voicing their support in them. As if they were too passive to even think about biting the hand that fed them. "The Society is split, and if I or Light take a stance against the other that split will only grow and fracture into more. And this time it won't end with just a group leaving for a different horizon," I said.
"Are you sure, Vim? Not long ago you would have likely included me in those numbers, in that group that supports them, yet look at me now," Randle said as he lifted his missing arm.
"Really…? Then tell me Randle, how many will be leaving with you come the end of winter?" I asked.
Randle sat up straight, his eyes going a little wide… and his shoulders slowly slumped into a haunch. Then he reached up, as if to cup his face, but he had done so with his missing arm. He noticed, and quickly lifted his other hand to hide the self-hating smirk that now covered his face.
A long silence followed, and then I heard Renn's voice. She said a few things, and then it sounded like Jelti had responded.
I focused on their conversation a moment, even though I could barely make heads or tails of it, and then sighed and looked back to Randle.
"I had not said that to be cruel, Randle," I said gently to the priest… rather, the excommunicated priest who looked like he was about to weep.
Randle took a deep breath and lowered his hand. I was glad to not see any tears or glistening eyes. "I know, Vim. But that had hurt me deeply. More than the loss of my own arm. You're correct. Entirely. My current order, my group, is fourteen people. Five of which are full-blooded members. At least, so I've always believed them to be a part of my group. As of now, this moment, not a one has taken a stand to join me. Though… all but a few have come and wept alongside me, to pray with me. Several have also vowed to keep watch over the orphanages while I'm gone, once I'm gone," he corrected himself. "Light has agreed to keep them in place, in their positions, as to not disrupt the children."
Turning a little, I glanced at the covered window. Should I open it? It would do this room good to have a small breeze, even if a chilly one.
"You can't blame them, Randle. This is a home. And more importantly; a purpose. You of all people, now that you must leave, should know how precious this place is for people. There's a reason that over the years so many have killed themselves after getting banished from here," I said.
"Poor souls, may they rest in peace," Randle whispered as I heard him make a small prayer movement.
"Some religions say suicide grants eternal damnation," I said lightly.
"Heavens forgive him…!" Randle whispered louder, and then went to mumble a small prayer.
I sighed lightly and stepped away from the table. To walk around it, and look at some of the boxes. To see if anything interesting were in any of them.
It was time I found Renn a few neat little knickknacks. It's been awhile since I've given her such silly gifts.
"Even if you had said that in hopes of planting the seed of doubt within me please do not do so ever again. What if the gods heard you and took ideas from it?" Randle said stiffly as I opened the lid to a box.
"Funny," I said.
Randle obviously didn't find it so. "Please Vim… I know you feel disenchanted, but do not allow us lesser souls to suffer your indifference. It is beneath you," he said.
"Ah, there's the old Randle. How've you been?" I asked, amused to hear the old him.
He scoffed at me. "I'm going to tell your wife you've been mean to me."
I laughed. "That's something a woman should say."
He shook his head at me as I closed the box and went to the next. That one had just been boring books. "Your views of life are so odd sometimes, Vim."
"Maybe."
"All the same… Surely there are more than you're implying?" Randle asked.
"More what?" I asked.
"Members who won't side with Light," he said simply.
Ah. "I don't know, Randle. While we were up north I spent time with Windle to try and calculate it. We couldn't even agree on the actual number of members in the society. How many members do you think there are?" I asked.
"In the whole of the Society…? I don't know. I only know the numbers of the devout, or those I keep in contact with. And as you've likely noticed, many nowadays do not wish to talk to me. My… past has burnt bridges that I now need," he said softly.
Nodding as I opened another box, I smiled at the little statues carved from marble. "Well Windle thinks at least half the Society either is a part of the Church of Songs, or at least lives under their banner. Either relying on them completely as to survive, or entwined within their circles enough to be considered members of the cloth all the same. Like those at the Crypt or scattered amongst the churches, like Rapti," I said.
"How was Rapti, by the way?" he asked as I picked up one of the statues.
"Troubled. She has banished Crane from her home. She has doubts and concerns, but had not wanted this to happen. She isn't sure really what to think or do, I believe, but will likely end up voting in my favor… maybe…" I said, hoping not to have to say aloud Rapti's true beliefs.
"Hm…"
Whoever had carved this statute had done so properly. It was smooth, well made and the dimensions were even correct. It was too bad they all seemed to be religious motifs… I put the statue back down and shifted through the box, looking for one that Renn might find interesting.
I didn't find any worthwhile, so I went to the next box.
"What are you looking for Vim?" Randle asked softly.
"Something to amuse Renn with. Not really a gift, just something to make her smile," I said as I found a box of chimes.
Smiling as I lifted one of the small wind chimes, I studied the tiny tubes that dangled from the little fixture they were tied to. The tubes made noises, telling me they were made of some kind of clay mixture. They didn't produce very high notes, but it was pleasant on the ears.
This would do.
I put the box back together, and placed it away as I lifted the wind chime and untangled the hanging tubes a little. As I did they dinged and chimed as I walked back over to the desk.
Sitting back down, I put the chime down and nodded. Content.
Once done I went back to the letters. I picked up the next one, yet before I could open it I found Randle staring at me.
Rather sadly.
"What is it?" I asked. Why did he look like he was about to weep again? Had I said something again?
"You'd abandon all of us for her. Yet I can't find it in me to fault you for it," he whispered.
I blinked at that, and lowered the letter I had been about to open. "Randle… you seem to be misunderstanding something, just as Renn is," I said carefully.
"How, Vim? You've never looked like that, never smiled and acted oddly, for any of us before. Maybe to a degree certain members, like Lilly or Berri, but never so dutifully. And now that you have her, you plan to leave us to our own devices. To be at the mercy of those like Light. To be chewed and spat up like dried straw," Randle said stiffly.
I sighed at him. "Really Randle. No need for such dramatics," I said.
His sad expression immediately darkened, and he stood. He reached out, as to slam the desk with both hands, but thanks to his missing left arm he had stumbled and flinched, since only his right had hit the table. He had instinctively expected his left fist and arm to hit the desk too, so when it hadn't he had nearly tripped.
He glowered at himself, the sleeve dangling from his left arm, and I spoke up before he could say something that he'd later regret. "I do plan to step down as Protector… but I don't ever remember stating I planned to leave the Society," I said, a little loudly.
Randle startled again, his mouth opening as to speak… but he was silent as he pondered my words. Then he coughed and stood up straighter, brushing his robe as if he was suddenly dirty. "You… have a plan?" he asked carefully.
"I do. Hundreds. But really right now the only plan is to confront Light, and hopefully do so in a way that allows her and those like her to either be punished or removed from their positions of power without risking a total collapse of the Society. I doubt that will be possible, however, thus my plan to step down," I said.
"Vim…" Randle groaned at me, telling me he had a lot to say about that.
I nodded though and continued. "By stepping down, I'll be free from the few rules that still contain me. I'll no longer have to constantly be on the road, always checking on everyone. Which means I'll have time to properly assess and address the issues most dire," I said.
"Such as…?" Randle asked as he slowly sat back down.
"If the Society really does split, then those abandoned by the church… by Light and the rest, will need support. I plan to dedicate my time to them," I said.
Randle's face contorted a bit as he pondered for a moment. "You're suggesting another society, aren't you?" he whispered.
"Not really. Regretfully, in a worst case scenario, let's assume I cannot properly handle Light and the rest. So I leave them be. If I do so… I'll not be able to keep abiding by them, their actions and faults. But at the same time I don't know if I'll be able to just outright abandon the hundreds of souls who will follow them. So I can't just completely separate myself from them. My plan in that scenario is to stay a part of the Society, but simply as a distant member. I'll help those who need it, those who request it of me. And if along the way new villages, communities, and groups want to form, distant from Light and the rest, then so be it."
Randle reached up to rub his chin in thought, and properly used his remaining arm for once. I watched him ponder a moment and the nod. "As you did the last time. You helped them leave, even guided them to the other lands, but then returned. You're choosing the lesser of evils, to help all you can while not sacrificing your own beliefs," he said.
"It should have been obvious," I said. Though maybe not. I'd basically told Renn the idea already and she still focused completely on the simple fact I was stepping down. Like Randle she still thought, and saw it, as me abandoning the Society as a whole. Though for her it was likely more an emotional thing than not.
"Yet you claim, even if the vote goes well and you can handle Light's infractions properly… that you'd still step down anyway? Why?" Randle then asked.
"Because whether I like it or not, our current predicament is what led to this point. Honestly it's been a long time coming, and as you know it's already happened many times before. I… we, need a more proper solution to it. I've still not decided what that proper solution is, but I've decided cutting the cord for now to be the best step towards the correct action," I said.
"Cutting the cord? Do you refer to cutting an umbilical cord? What a term, Vim, even for you," Randle said as he leaned back a little in shock.
My eye twitched as I gestured at him. "Plus," I started, to get him off that term. "My stepping down as I did will bother and confuse them. Chronicler and Light won't understand it. It lets me, a predictable man, be unpredictable," I said.
"They'll just do as I had just done, and chalk it up to your love for Renn won't they?" he asked.
I nodded. "Undoubtedly. But that's still an unpredictability. This is me we're talking about," I said.
"Yes… it is."
Hmph.
"And if more stand up against you than you think Vim…? What if you're wrong in assuming only a portion will side with Light? What if more than half the Society turns against you?" Randle asked.
"Windle believes they will," I said, telling him the truth.
"Do you?"
I hesitated a moment, but then nodded. "I do, actually. In fact, I think that's why Renn's so opposed to the idea even though she knows I'd still help and be here for the Society even after stepping down. She knows that if it gets to that point, I might not even be welcomed in the Society anymore anyway, so even the few I could save would be lost to us. She has a right to fear it, but the alternatives are worse for everyone involved," I said.
"What would you say to forming another Society, Vim? Honestly?" Randle asked.
"I'd be against it. I'd do it if enough members demanded it, but in my opinion that will just whittle the numbers further. The Society is already so spread out, and so many are so… different today, that it'd be terribly difficult to hold any large groups together anymore under a smaller banner. In reality it's barely holding together as it is, obviously," I said with a gesture to the nearby wall. Someone was shouting again.
Randle slowly nodded. "We're the dying embers, aren't we?" he asked.
"If that."
He went silent, so I picked up another letter once more. I sighed and leaned back, opening the letter… as Randle pondered life, and I read of a request most interesting.
It seemed Renn and I would need to make a small stop on our way to Lumen.
"It terrifies me, Vim," Randle whispered, making me tear my eyes away from the request to find a wife.
"What does?" I asked gently to the man who looked in pain. Was his arm hurting him…? I had checked it, the arm had been forcefully imploded by divine energy but whoever had tended him had done a good job. They had amputated a few inches above the actual wound, and had tendered it properly. It would heal fine, and swiftly. Though I knew it likely ached something fierce.
"You sound lost. Something I've never thought you could be. Even though I've always believed you lost in your own way, you have never sounded so. Yet here you are… spouting things that you don't sound as if you believe at all," he said.
My eyes narrowed. "That's why I used to hate you Randle. Stop noticing things like that," I said.
He smirked at me, but it didn't last long as he nodded. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be…" I heard a door open and the voices grew a little louder. A little clearer. Someone was either leaving, or the discussions were over.
Randle turned a little, to listen as voices and people filled the hallway just outside our door.
"Don't be Randle," I said again, getting his attention before we stopped being alone. He turned, frowning at me with a question on his face. "My being lost is better than me knowing what I should do. Because I don't want to do what I should do," I told him.
His eyes narrowed, and I knew deep down he knew exactly what I was alluding to.
"You used to allow Celine to decide. Who will you let choose now, Vim? Rennalee…? She's too gentle," he said quietly.
I nodded. "She is. I've… hinted at it to her. But I don't think she's realized it yet. Might not ever do so. She has a side to her capable of doing it, but she's so enamored with the Society I don't know if she'll be able to realize my meaning before it's too late," I said.
"That's cruel Vim. Even for you."
It was.
"But she's my only chance, Randle," I said.
He shook his head. "She's our only hope, then," he corrected.
We went silent as people walked past Randle's office. I could hear half a dozen tiny conversations between all the people. Some were growing louder, others more distant. I couldn't really tell if everyone sounded happy or upset, but I was also trying to not really notice.
Randle and I nodded to each other, deciding silently to end our conversation here. For now, at least.
The door opened, so I went to pick up the wind chime. I smirked at her and dangled it as Renn walked in, who perked up and gave me a brilliant smile upon seeing and hearing it.
"Wow!" Renn hurried forward, abandoning little Angie who had been walking right next to her. She hurried around Randle and the desk to take the chime from me, far more happy to focus on it than tell me and Randle how the debates had gone.
"How pretty! Look Angie!" Renn turned, dangling the chimes and making them sing out as she hurried over to show the young bison… who looked utterly uninterested as Renn went to show them off to her. Yet she amused Renn anyway, nodding and reaching out to flick the little tubes.
Yes.
Hope indeed.
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