"There has to be more to your plan Vim! More than just…" I groaned as I felt sick.
I didn't even want to say it. Not aloud. Not again.
"The best plans are the simplest ones," Vim said as he made some rocks shift. I watched the way a few of the smaller pebbles slid down the mountain before me, they didn't roll too far since the incline really wasn't that bad, but I was glad that I was following him at an angle and not directly behind him. They'd have slid my way otherwise, which meant I would have had to be more careful in my own walking.
And I was far too upset right now to need such dedicated attention, especially to just a few rocks and pebbles.
"If this is your best plan then I'm severely questioning every other one! I can't believe you'd just step down, it's so stupid," I said heatedly.
I was heated. I wasn't going to ignore, or deny it. There was no reason to. We'd been talking about it for a few hours now, ever since he told me about his plan to step down as the protector of the Society… no matter the outcome of the vote.
It was so stupid! Such a ridiculous thing to do! It made no sense, at all!
What was the point then? All these years of his service? Hundreds of years! For nothing!
Vim seemed to not be too bothered by my frustration, but he occasionally glanced back at me as we continued to ascend the mountainside. Though the reason he did so was likely more so just to make sure I was fine, not much else.
And I was. Even with me being so frustrated, this mountain was nothing to me. It wasn't steep enough, or rocky enough, to bother me. Though if we continued to climb it, and reached the snowy peaks in the distance, that might change very quickly. I knew how difficult it was to climb those snowy inclines. Sometimes it was impossible.
He'd have to carry me if we went that far up. But I could tell by the angle we were walking at, that we weren't heading to the peaks but around them. Vim was leading us deeper into this huge mountain range. One I somehow felt like I remembered, but couldn't quite place why.
I had likely been here before. Maybe not this mountain, this side of it at least, exactly… but there was no doubt that I'd seen this mountain range from a distance before.
We were very likely near the place of my birth, oddly enough. I wonder if I could find it again, if I tried.
The thought of home calmed me down, somehow, and that only upset me further.
"Really Vim… it's so stupid of you. Why would you even consider it? There are so many who depend on you, stepping down is the same as abandoning them. I had not thought you the kind of man to be so callous," I said as I glared at his back. Why'd he look like he was slouching a little? The incline wasn't that bad, was it? Maybe it was becoming so.
"I'd not abandon them, Renn. I'd still travel and help anyone and everyone. Just… I'd only help the ones who actually ask it of me."
"And what of the ones who won't ask before it's too late? Thanks to their stupid pride?" I asked. I could think of many myself I knew that would be so.
"They already suffer their own hubris, Renn. It won't change as much as you think," Vim said calmly.
I growled at his tone, since I didn't like how calm he was. It made my own anger seem… not as just worthy, somehow.
"I like your growls," he said lightly.
I growled even harder. "Don't! I'm upset with you," I said with a huff.
He chuckled lightly, and slowed as to turn to me. I noted the loving look in his eyes as I approached, and hated how I couldn't actually hate him.
After all… I understood where he was coming from.
Why protect people who didn't want your protection? Who didn't deserve it? Or desired the opposite?
But…
"I love the Society Vim. Faults and all," I said softly as my eyes welled with tears again. I tried to not let them do so, since I'd already cried earlier before we had started walking up this mountain… but I couldn't help it.
This moment was a sad one. Full of strange angst and sorrow. I didn't like it.
"I know, Renn. I do too. But…"
"But what…? You just want to break it. Let it slip between your fingers, just because a few of them are upset with you? Just because a few are stupid? It's dumb, Vim. Really dumb," I said before he could say anything. Or well, based off my own voice echoing in the distance, I knew I wasn't speaking. I was yelling. Shouting, maybe, even.
Vim allowed me to yell at him, smiling gently at me as I did, and it only made me hate the conversation even more.
All this time I'd been worrying over the vote, I had been relatively calm. Because I had believed that wisdom would have won through in the end. That enough people, like Randle and Oplar, would vote in our favor. Vim's favor. That those like Crane and the rest were the minority, not the majority.
Plus it seemed Randle and Lilly, and I had originally thought Vim too, had been planning as well. To make efforts to aid themselves, and help sway the vote. To find out what was really going on, and address it. What about all those conversations we just had with Lilly and the rest? What about all those letters that Windle has gotten lately, from those like Merit? Voicing their own support, and trying to gather information and insight between those who were like minded? What of their efforts?
None of that mattered if Vim just gave up.
Vim giving up made no sense. At all. In any form.
"Defend yourself better, Vim, or else I'll end up being disappointed in you," I pleaded.
He nodded gently. "I know, Renn."
"Then…?"
His smile softened and his brow furrowed. "Remember those I told you about? Those who left? To lands beyond the seas?" he asked.
I nodded carefully. Why were they being brought up right now?
"They left because of many reasons. First and foremost… they felt unwelcome here. Unwelcomed with those they left behind. Who do you think they were?" he asked.
"Who…? I don't know Vim? Randle and the rest said they had thought Light had gone with them, all this time," I said.
"She likely had, Renn. But that's not what I meant. I meant more so… what kind of people do you think they were? What kind of mindsets do you think they had? Beliefs?"
Oh.
"Predators maybe…?" I wondered. It would make sense, since there were so few of us left.
"No, Renn. The opposite. Those who left were all prey. Weak willed. More non-human than human, yes, but it was mostly the weak. The infirm. The scared. They had survived the wars, and saw that the humans had emerged victorious and would soon rule the world, and so ran from it. From us. The Society too. Because they felt even the Society, and those left in it, were too dangerous to be around," he told me.
I shifted, and ignored the tiny pebbles beneath my feet I had dislodged. A few bounced a few feet down the slope, but not much farther. "What are you saying Vim?" I asked carefully.
"That people act rashly when scared for their lives. Always have and will. I cannot change that, Renn. I will not force my authority on anyone, and forcing people to accept my protection and assistance is just that. So just as I helped that group leave these lands, and find another home elsewhere away from me and the rest, I too will go out of my way to accommodate those here who no longer wish for my help," he said.
My stomach twisted as I stared into his eyes. They didn't look hurt. Or annoyed. They looked calm. Collected. Strong.
Like always.
It made me sick.
"This is your line then? To step down… and just help those who ask for it? To no longer just travel around, as you're doing?" I asked.
He nodded. "It was bound to happen eventually Renn. I knew from the beginning that this Society wouldn't last. Or at least, my connection to it. Nothing lasts. Though I'll admit I had not expected it to happen here and now, this way at least," he said.
"But… why step down if they vote in your favor? If the Society still wishes to have you as their protector, isn't that their will? Why deny them that?" I asked, trying to point out something he seemed to be ignoring.
"Because even if the vote goes well like that, it'll not be unanimous. There will still be a portion that will not want my help, and as such may decide to split from the Society entirely because of it. They'll, like the group who left this lands after the wars, will feel threatened. Now not just by me, and my presence, but the others. My stepping down, before the vote even happens, nips that confusion and distrust in the bud before it can sprout. Hopefully keeping the Society intact, as a whole," he said.
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"Where you hope that even those who don't want your help will call upon it if the need becomes dire enough," I said, understanding.
He nodded with a frown. "Yes. They may no longer call me to fix their homes, or help them relocate, but they may still call upon me if their lives are in danger. True danger. And that alone makes it worth it. My stepping down, officially, is the best result Renn. It keeps the Society whole, un-fractured, and still allows me to help any and all who need it. Yes a few may become lost to us, and many may perish throughout the years because I no longer travel around as I do now, but the loss will be a fraction of what it would be otherwise," he said.
Groaning at him, I felt my tail squirm and twitch in the air behind me.
"When did you decide this, Vim?" I asked.
"Not long after you left Telmik with Cat. During my trip to pick up Fly. I…" Vim sighed and shifted, crossing his arms in front of me. "I realized that my agreement with Celine is no longer valid. Because those in the Society today, the vast majority of them, no longer think like her or agree with her methods. The Society today is no longer the Society of yesterday, basically. Today it's just a bunch of random families and groups, sticking together with thin agreements and bonds. There are entire sections of the Society that don't even know about the others, thanks to how distant and secluded so many of them have become. A fault of my own, one could argue, but it's the reality. I fear if I stay the protector, even if I feel my presence is still needed, all I will do is cause those separate locations to split and fracture. To become enemies, even, possibly," he said.
"Enemies," I whispered the word, and realized what he meant.
He nodded. "Like how Randle and the Chronicler are now at ends with one another."
Stepping forward, I reached out. To grab his arm, but didn't. My hand lingered in the air as I hesitated. "That's not your fault, Vim! That's all happening because of the Chronicler! Not you!" I said defiantly.
"Says who…?"
My outstretched hand clenched up as I groaned and glared at him.
He held my gaze and nodded. "Don't be foolish Renn. I know not what the Chronicler and the rest are doing, but you'd be a misplaced to think it doesn't have something to do with me somehow. Light is involved, and trust me when I say she is her mother's daughter. I find it hard to believe Light would not be acting for a purpose, especially after being hidden all these years. Hidden from me, by the way," he pointed out.
Clenching my hands, I shivered as if cold. It was a little cold, but not cold enough to make me do so while wearing the thick gear I had on. "So what does you stepping down accomplish then? You just give them the victory without a fight!" I said.
"A fight…? Renn, if I fight the Society is doomed anyway. The entire reason for my decision is so that I do not get involved in a fight," he said simply.
My heart thumped as I stepped backward. Thanks to the slight slope we were on, it made me stumble a tad. Vim's arms uncrossed, worriedly, but he didn't reach out to grab me. I had firmed my footing and steadied myself readily and easily.
Right.
He wasn't wrong. At all.
If Vim actually had to fight the Society, or groups within it, they would lose. Entirely. They would not survive.
Which went against everything Vim stood for. Not just was his entire purpose to protect those in the Society… he also didn't believe in forcing his will upon others. And doing such a thing in this context was the same as forcing his opinion and desires upon them. It wasn't like he was killing bandits, or monsters in this scenario. He was facing others like us. Fellow non-humans, who may be mislead or foolish, but still like us. People who just… had different opinions. Different viewpoints and beliefs.
"There has to be another way," I whispered worriedly, as I regrettably accepted the fact that Vim was going in the right direction.
He had no choice, did he? If he stayed as he was, or tried to convince the Society to vote in his favor… he'd be alienating those who were voting against him. Effectively splitting the Society in two, as had happened once before. Which is why he had brought that group up, the one that had actually left these lands because of it.
He didn't want the same result. And him staying the protector, with the vote or not, would cause such a thing. Even if inevitably, down the road, it was almost guaranteed.
So he had no choice. He had to step down. If not remove himself from the situation completely.
"That's why we're talking about this Renn. And by the way I'm very moved by how emotional you are right now, and how angry you are with me. It tells me how highly you think of me, to be so offended in such a way," he said with a smile.
I wanted to bite him all of a sudden, but at the same time a huge smile planted itself on my face. "Shut it," I said.
His smile grew as he nodded, and I felt strangely warm all of a sudden.
Hadn't I already been warm? From anger? Why was I hotter all of a sudden, even though not angry anymore?
For a few quick heartbeats I ignored the world around me, and my own thoughts, as I tried to understand the weird feeling that had suddenly taken over me. I was upset, yet not. Frustrated, yet relaxed.
Maybe I was just relieved. Relieved that Vim had obviously put a lot of thought into his decision, even if it had made me upset. He hadn't made it lightly, and was still open to hearing differing opinions and ideas.
Yet…
"Plus, Renn…"
I looked back at him, and glared at him anew. Why was he distracting me? I was enjoying the new, if weird, sensation pulsing out of my heart.
Vim shrugged lightly at me. "There's… a new problem. A new task I must address. One that may not allow me to be the Society's protector, at least in full while I'm focused upon it, at least."
Hm…?
"What do you mean…?" I asked. Did this have something to do with what Elaine had said?
"We'll talk about that later," he said.
"So I can keep arguing with you about your foolish decision, then?" I threatened.
He flinched but nodded. "Yes, I suppose."
"Hmph," I smirked at him and felt a little better.
I was very glad he was making progress, if slowly. But he had also given me permission to… press him a little. So I planned to do so. But right now this conversation, the one about his decision to step down as protector, took precedence. At least to me.
Stepping forward, to start walking beside him since it seemed the upcoming path before us was more even leveled, I gestured lightly at him. "If the whole of the Society voted in your favor Vim, say… only a handful voting against you, would you still step down?" I asked.
"Honestly I don't know. A part of me wants to say yes, since I've made the decision… but in the off chance that only a dozen or so actually voted against me, and the rest didn't, then I suppose there would be no reason to change the status quo," he agreed.
Somehow that didn't feel like the win I had hoped it would have been. Maybe because even I knew how outlandish the idea was of only a few voting against him were. I could probably think of double or triple as many off the top of my head, just by those I knew myself. Let alone all the others I didn't.
We returned to walking, although a little slower than before. He stayed by my side, instead of walking ahead of me. "Have you told anyone else yet?" I asked.
"No. I hinted at it with Lilly, so I think she might know, but I haven't outright said it yet."
Good. Maybe I can convince him against the idea before it happened, or at least before he declared it to the rest of the Society.
Though…
"Is this another reason you asked Elaine if I could build a home at their village?" I asked gently.
He nodded. "Yes. I plan to build you few homes, actually. Or at least secure you a few others too. Just in case everything goes… awry," he said.
I sighed at him. As much as I loved the idea of having such places to go, to feel at home, I also didn't want them for this reason.
I didn't want a home just because I needed a place to escape to.
I wanted a home to… feel at home in. Not to hide at or flee to.
Plus to me a home was a place that had visitors. Friends and family that came and went. If I indulged in those locations, barring a select few, who would visit me…?
"And also why you're gathering all those items you've hidden," I said, hoping to distract my heart a little. It had started to hurt over the idea of living in a home that was always empty.
It had been why I had always traveled around, and never stayed one place for long. I had hated the silence.
"Yes. Though… that might not have been because of the vote, honestly," he said oddly.
"Hm…?" I glanced at him, and wondered what that look on his face was. Was that worry?
He nodded oddly. "Might have been my instincts. Strangely enough."
"What do you mean…?" I asked.
"We'll see. Not to change the topic, not intentionally but instead before I forget, did you ever happen to ask that saint if she knew the locations of the other saints she knew or met?" he asked.
I side-glanced him. He may indeed just be asking before he forgot, but this was usually how he made me stop talking and asking about certain things… "She mentioned she had only met a few in her life. Like Celine, they had kind of just come and went without really saying much I guess," I said.
He nodded slowly and sighed. "I wonder when she had gone there. It makes me wonder how many others she met without me knowing," he said as he shook his head. "I really should have been more aware of what had been happening. In my attempt to keep a distance from Celine and those like her I had failed in other ways. I really can't win no matter what I do, sometimes," he added.
I agreed with him, but wasn't sure if I wanted to say it aloud.
I wanted to be a little upset with him at the moment, after all.
Wait…
"You knew she met Celine?" I asked. I hadn't told him until now!
"Hm? Yes. I heard you and her talking when I had been fixing the floor, Renn."
A little stunned, I slid to a stop. "So you had been listening!" I shouted at him.
He stopped too, glancing at my feet. He had likely just been checking if I had been about to slip or not, but it still made me even more upset. He should look at me when I was angry with him!
"I had. You hadn't necessarily been quiet about it, Renn… and I tried not to listen too closely, but I had been upset to be honest. Not just because she's a saint, but because of the implications. I'm… on edge, Renn. For many reasons. I'm sorry," he apologized, looking me in the eyes as he did.
My heart fluttered at the look on his face, and the pain in his eyes.
He was being genuine. Completely so.
"I don't like how well you can defend yourself," I grumbled admittedly.
He smiled at me, and was about to say something but he turned and looked over my shoulder.
I frowned at the look on his face, and turned just as I heard it.
A flap of a wing.
A huge one.
Staring up at the sight, I felt my eyes go wide and my ears go stiff as I watched a huge bird land nearby. A few dozen feet away, a huge pair of brownish red wings curled, as a woman stood up fully and tilted her head at us.
My eyes shivered as I saw a young Lilly before us, though with huge wings bigger than her and far shorter hair.
"What's with all the noise, Vim? Who is this?" the woman asked, sounding upset at us.
Vim chuckled as he gestured at me. "Hey Sap. Meet my wife," he said, greeting me.
Sap's face contorted, as her wings flapped open… and then she broke out into laughter.
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