Dear Diary,

Yeah, the past two days have been an emotional roller coaster. More than previous days, anyhow, even if the stress of ongoing kaiju attacks is pretty roller coastery all by itself. But seeing D dead because he tried to stand up and defend his people, then going through the whole ceremony to bring him back, only to realize that mean we had another kid, and then Daya's birthday party. I'm beat. Just kinda want to settle back and fuck around with my ladies, play with my kids, maybe visit my Temples and give out fabulous prizes while soaking up the Worship.

What? I think orgasms are pretty fabulous prizes. Also, I give out other things. Hugs. Advice of dubious quality. Ears and shoulders and laps. Whatever it is that my people need that's within my power to give. I've told them before, both as a general announcement and one on one, I'm there for them. Which is absolutely true. But I think maybe even beyond the Worship, I get something out of it. Nothing tangible, but a sense that I've used my Vast Cosmic Power for something good. Something meaningful. Something where at the end I could dust off my hands and say 'nice' in a satisfied craftsman tone of voice like that lady lumberjack I used to watch back in the day.

I think I may have hit one of those neurotransmitter problems. Not depression, really, although it might be a close cousin. But instead of feeling down, or dead inside, or some other flavor of bad, I just feel restless. The best way I can describe it is like when I'm in the kitchen, and I know I want something in particular, but I cannot for the life of me think of what I want to eat. There's food, but none of it is the right food, and here and now I really don't want to just start chucking shit in my mouth, because there is literally no end to that.

But I can't just relax. Yeah, I spent part of my day focused on my kid, but I still had one of me up on the West Tower, ready to pull Mana from Mimic, but otherwise just vibing, and another me atop the Black Dragon's mast. I even joined with Marie for watches on the Tentacles through the day and overnight, so the ladies could join in on the birthday fun and then get some rest. I'll probably need to get some rest tomorrow, but I'll leave my exact rest schedule up to Saffron, because I know when I get like this I'll either stay up forever or sleep forever, and neither of those are acceptable right now.

You hear that, Kitten?

I would complain about you handing me responsibility for everything, but...

...we both know sometimes it's best to have one person in charge, and between the two of us, you're the better non-combat leader?

And you say you're immature.

Yeah, I think maybe I need some quality time with the 'rents after this is all said and done. With any luck, it'll be done before Yule, because that way we can spend the whole holiday together, and maybe do some talking during the lulls when the kids are asleep. Of course, we probably want guaranteed privacy for that, which is why we normally do it in Loki's cave, but the only thing we have around here like that is the Bedroom, and talking to Mom and Dad in my sex room just seems weird. It also seems even weirder that now I kinda want to see their reaction to the general odor of post-fuck funk in the room. Not tryna get back for making me clean up his bed at all.

Really, Daughter? You're really not?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I kinda am, but not really, and honestly that would be way less weird.

Less weird than what?

Leaving you and Mom alone in said sex room?

Don't your most faithful see what goes on in that room in their dreams? For that matter, don't you?

Yeah, which is both why it would be weird and why I'm oddly tempted.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Dad sighed in my ear. I understand why it would be weird, but why would you be tempted?

Because I can't help but wonder what it looks like to see dat ass tapped by the best of the best.

I definitely felt some kinda way when he trailed off in incoherent spluttering. Guess I sorta deserved that, both for the troll comment and for all those times I forgot while I was amnesiac, but I'm sure I didn't need that right then. My own damn fault, though.

So after I made sure my ladies were all well rested, I hopped to the top of the royal longhouse in Norfolk, where I could just make out half of the Alliance fleet anchored, ready to meet whatever managed to sneak past the Tentacles and the Black Dragon. Did the same to view the fleet out in the bay directly out from Newark and New Amsterdam.

Early in the afternoon, though it seemed really weird, I thought, Sister?

The reply came back weird, like without me being a Great Kraken Blend was really working overtime to make things comprehensible. Yes, Goddess?

Everything okay with you, your Lobster Leviathan, and it's caretakers?

Yeah, her response came back really garbled, just a kind of essence of squee, followed by a pause, then, soon, we hunt!

Not long before sunset, I stopped into Conrad's Workshop. Do not ask me how, but he popped up from in front of me. "Mother Dearest! To what do I owe the honor?"

I smiled and held out my arms, and he stepped in for a hug. Very dutiful son. He even squeezed a little, and sighed when I let him go. "Can't a mother just want to visit her son?"

He raised one eyebrow. "In the middle of a war?"

I sighed. "Yeah, I know. I do really regret not making more time for you though."

He managed to fake his surprise really well, as well as his sincerity when he replied, "Mother, I have fifteen... Wait, now sixteen siblings who are all, at oldest, slow aging teenagers still in need of parental direction. I am an adult, you know."

I smiled at him. "Doesn't mean you don't need someone you can trust, someone you can lean on and just let go now and then. I think we both know you're not gonna wind up with any kind of husband or wife to do that for you."

His smile quirked sadly. "Not again, no." I wanted to ask, but could tell it wasn't the right time. Instead he shook himself, then smiled again. "What did you need, though?"

I braced myself, then said, "I think it's time to start talking about undoing some of your works."

He didn't explode. Didn't even look angry. Just sighed and said, "which ones?"

I shrugged. "A couple. Mom isn't anywhere near as pissed at Franklin as she was before she put the new System and Status in place."

"Really?"

I nodded. "I think she's outgrown him."

"Well. He still offended her."

I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, he did. But you know how I feel about endless punishments, endless imprisonment."

"You'd have me simply release him, then?"

I shrugged. "He still did some heinous shit to folks other than Mom, but honestly a big part of that was to Mom's extended family. Also, some of the shit he did basically boiled down to conning rich people out of money, which while it's not, like, optimal behavior, isn't 'eternity sucking Hole Spawn shit' bad. So maybe we show Mom, talk to her, see what she thinks?"

"If she says to let him go?"

I nodded. "I don't think she will, but if she does, she's probably the smartest of the three of us."

"Really?" He looked down his nose at me.

"You want me to call her in here and we can find out?"

He ditched the haughty act faster than I dodged Hole Spawn Spew. "Ah, no. Let's not do that."

I smiled and hugged him again. "While we're at it, though, you've got more than just Franklin lying around, don't you?"

He sighed and nodded. "Many are from before you imposed your restrictions on my art."

I shrugged. "Kind of a mother's job, to teach their kids proper behavior. So maybe you can't put them back the way they were, but for the ones who maybe didn't deserve something as bad as they got, you can come up with something less awful?"

He frowned. "Which ones?"

I shook my head. "Yeah, I don't know who all you've got kicking around, or what you've done to them. Why don't we talk about that, and we can decide on a case by case basis."

"So you will stand judgement over me?"

I nodded. "No. Even though it's kind of a mother's job, you're not a child any more. So maybe more like I'm gonna stand here and encourage and help you to judge yourself."

"And what if I just declare myself innocent of any possible wrongdoing or poor judgement?"

I smiled at him. "You won't."

"How do you know?"

I put my hands on his shoulders and gently head bunted him, leaving our foreheads touching as I said, "I could say it's because you're smarter than that, and it would be true, but I won't. I could tell you it's because you won't risk the consequences of that, and it's also true, but I won't. Because the real reason is that no matter how old you are, you're my precious son, and I know you're better than that."

I felt a little guilty just then. Not a lot, but a little. Because after all, Deities can't lie.

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