Dear Diary,

I've tried and tried to get better at multitasking, but frankly it's just not happening.

I mean, okay, that's not entirely true. I do all kinds of shit at once during a typical day now, but I also remember two things that seem pertinent. First is that I have, as noted, entirely unmedicated ADHD. I chase the dopamine hard, and part of that, at least for me, is jumping from thing to thing, sometimes even when I'm totally grooving on the thing I'm doing. I'm not sure whether folks will really understand that, but the best example I can give is from way back in the day, where at one point I was sitting on the couch watching a show on TV, watching another show on the picture-in-picture thing, and listening to music on the jank old stereo my mom left me, all while playing a game on my phone.

Second, as one of my old science teachers told me, Humans can't actually multitask. I kinda took exception to that when he said it, especially because at the time he was writing some shit on the board while answering questions from students. When I called him out, he laughed and pointed out that he'd written the same thing on the board like four times today, and by this time he didn't really need to look to write it. Then he pointed out that when humans think we're multitasking, that's what we're doing. Either doing extra things that don't require any attention, or switching back and forth between things that we can sort of oversee while our subconscious does the bulk of the work.

I'm kinda living the truth of that now. I can definitely swap back and forth between things that don't require my full attention, but the moment something grabs my full focus, everything else gets way less attention. I'm still glad I can do it, because even if the one of me with each of my groups of girls has about as much initiative as a fuckin' baby monitor, I've still got my eyes and ears on them, so if some shit goes down I'm there to react to it. Same goes for bodyguarding my Kitten and Tallulah, or for sitting with Siobhan and quietly crooning to her while Hailee works her panacea magic. Cleaning up Academy rooms and doing laundry is something I'd really rather do on automatic, so the idea that I can legit do so is nothing but a blessing. Cooking is one of those things that's right along the edge; if it's just more or less mindlessly churning or mixing or kneading, I'm golden, but if I need to be paying attention, I'm cooked.

All this is to say I totally lost track of everything yesterday after my Great Kraken High Cleric delivered the message that they'd spotted another wave of kaiju. My first reaction, since I'd realized right about then that I'd sort of maybe felt that shit, was to try and determine where they were based on that sensation. I focused on nothing but input from my tentacles, specifically the ones along my eastern edge, spreading my attention as wide as I could. Time and time again, I thought I felt something moving, then focused on that spot only to find nothing. I even Co-Located to a spot I'd just felt something, but no joy. Nothing but increasingly choppy waters, as something fucked with the weather and riled up a storm.

I kept looking, kept trying to spot them. At one point I hopped to a spot that itched and dove into the water. Took me a bit to dive down to the bottom, to that mushy silt layer, but when I got there I saw what might have been a footprint. Might not have been, too, since it filled in as I watched.

Love? My Kitten's question seemed more curious than concerned.

Tryna focus.

Of course, love.

I doubled down, spreading my attention through even more tentacles, spread even further apart, trying to find even the slightest trace of kaiju. After I'm not sure how long, I realized my mistake, my stupid, stupid mistake, and pulled back to maybe halfway to the edge of me. Which wasn't right. Too much air, not enough water. I pushed out to halfway between there and my edge. Then again.

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Love?

Sorry, Kitten. I'll be back soon.

Is everything well?

Not really. Tryna deal with it.

Can we help?

Some part of me wanted to say yes, wanted so desperately to reach out to my ladies, both my partners and my Priestesses, to have them help me manage the onslaught of input from hundreds of tentacles of different sizes in different locations, none of them with any real sense of relative location or size, either.

I caught... Something. I caught something and a wave of Worship flowed over me and I yanked it up and out of the water and into M-Space and back to my Maw.

I looked up as it passed me, headed for my Maw at Mach something or other. A fuckin' sperm whale, or something that looked a hell of a lot like one. Not sure how big it was. Not sure whether it was a kaiju or just, y'know, a whale. Something clicked in my free-associating brain just then. Sperm whales eat Kraken. Er, giant squids. So they probably try to nom Kraken on the regular too. Not surprising my lil tadpole homies celebrate when I grab one up and disappear it.

"TABITHA!"

I blinked, looked up, and stared confusedly up at where Kitten towered over me. Okay, not so much towering as just, y'know, standing while I still sat tailor fashion atop the West Tower in M-Space.

Then I doubled over retching as disorientation hit me like a freight train.

She didn't flinch, didn't even move save to grab my hair and hold it back while I tried to vomit and couldn't. Eventually, with the rebellion in my lower decks fought to a standstill, I croaked out, "sorry."

"Oh, love. Do not apologize. Not for that." She paused, like she wanted to say something else, then shook her head. "What happened? What have you been doing?"

I blinked, trying to focus, trying to answer, to communicate in words rather than images and gestures.

This isn't particularly coherent, you realize?

I blinked. Then took her hand out of my mouth, and did the same where I'd put mine in hers. My face heated as I said, "uh. Sorry. Been tentacles too long."

"Is that what you've been doing?" I nodded. "Communing with the rest of yourself?" I nodded again. She paused, thinking. "I don't want to play twenty questions with you for the entire story. I will, mind you, if you need that, but even a few words would help."

I nodded, pulled her to me, and focused. Single words seemed simpler. "Kaiju."

She stiffened. "You've heard from your Kraken?"

I nodded. "No." I shook my head. "Yes." I lifted a hand when she tried to speak. "Both."

"You received notice of the kaiju from the Kraken and another source?"

I sighed, relieved, and pulled her to me. "Tentacles."

She froze, then looked up at me wide-eyed. "You felt them?" I nodded. "You can tell us where they are!" I shook my head, eyes tearing with frustration.

Ladies? West Tower. M-Space. Now.

Then they were there, surrounding me. Holding me, layer upon layer of them. When my tentacles started caressing them, I froze again. Bedroom.

A moment later we all knelt in our big round bed, the kids and kids joining them. I hadn't meant this, but holy shit I needed it. I stayed there, surrounded by my ladies, my kids, my family, my most devoted Worshippers, until my brain stopped trying to yoink ladies back into my maw. I looked around and counted carefully. None of them missing.

"Where's Madeline?" asked Karen.

I froze, almost shattering, until from the far side of the group Karen said, "you are right there, Madeline Magda, and that was ill timed."

Something snapped in me, and I laughed. I knew I shouldn't, knew I should be horrified at what I might have done, but relief that I hadn't swamped me. When I finally stopped, Madeline knelt before me.

"Please forgive me, Goddess. I meant no harm."

I pulled her into my arms. "Yeah. I know. Karen's right, shitty timing, but yeah. I know. You wanted to help. I think you maybe did, but holy shit bad timing."

With that my ladies all pulled in for one more hug, then slipped away until I could talk, leaving Saffron closest to me. "What do you know, love?"

After taking a deep breath, I said, "more kaiju. More than six, less than twelve. I think they're coming more spread out than before. Some of them are in really cold water, some where it's almost warm. One aquatic, one airborne, one bottom feeder, some humanoid." I paused. "Might be more than that, might be more than one of those non-human ones."

"When did you find out?"

"Uh, about midday?"

"Which day?"

I froze. "How long was I on top of the Tower?"

Saffron nodded. "While you remained atop the tower nearly thirty-six hours passed inn the Mortal Realm, love. Although for those without a connection to the sun herself, it has become increasingly hard to tell when exactly the sun has risen or set with the storms coming in off the ocean, it is nearly sunset on Tyrsday."

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