Dear Diary,

Y'know, when I find out who the fuck sent that big thing at us, I'm gonna twist their fuckin' nuts off. If they happen to lack testicles, I'm gonna Boon them with Shapeshifting just long enough to give them balls, entirely to treat them as a speedbag before crushing them and twisting them until the sack ruptures in my hands.

I'm a little bit pissed off. I'm also very fuckin' tired. I think I'm suffering the aftershocks of being a little afraid, too.

When I realized how big that fuckin' thing was, I realized that odds were no Ward would do more than slow it down, and if it stomped on the Plundering Tentacle, the absolute best case was that Madeline might evacuate some of the crew from the wreckage. Yeah, Madeline was Co-Located, but I know how much that shit hurts. I know, at least in a vague sense, how tough I am. Hopefully some of that rubs off, and even if she died she'd still have a pulse and some functioning brain cells. But I do not want any of my ladies traumatized like that.

Shit, I don't want anybody traumatized like that. I understand that at some point, we may need to fight another war. Our people might wind up fighting against some of the Europans, and I can't be everywhere at once. The world is a big place, and if the Spartans or some other Europan assholes send troops over and spread them out enough, I won't be able to stop all of them. Some of my people will get hurt. Get killed. And the only thing I'll be able to do is maybe, if they've got me or somebody in my Pantheon as Patron, find their Soul and soothe it and carry it off to the afterlife of their choice.

That's why I stepped in the way. Not any kind of strategic genius trying to preserve our forces or anything like that. I wish I could say it was something tactical or smart. But it's just me, maybe healed to the point, at least emotionally, that I don't want anybody else hurt. I definitely don't want to hurt somebody as much as i had to hurt that poor big stupid asshole to stop him. So if I find out who sent him, I'm gonna rip their nuts off slowly and painfully.

Hey, I never said I was coherent. I am an emotion driven woman, and emotions are rarely coherent.

I also might be in more than a little physical pain still.

When I finally managed to rip the body apart and settle it into the silt at the bottom of the ocean, I turned to Madeline and said, "get the ship headed back to port, then take me home, please." Then I slumped to my knees, head against the rail of the ship, and cried.

I hadn't cried after killing Loviatar, but that bitch was clearly a cruel bitch who got off on hurting people who didn't deserve or like it. This big dumb sonofabitch just felt like, I dunno, what would happen if you'd raised Lachlan in a box and fed him super growth hormones for a couple decades. I couldn't describe exactly why, but all of the rage I'd felt came from pain, like the big bastard had never felt anything else.

A while later, Madeline came over, laid her hand on my shoulder, and stepped me to the Bath. "Would you like me to stay, Goddess?"

I shrugged. Looked around to see Siobhan in the Bath proper with the kids, watched as the rest of the ladies arrived one after the other. "Plenty of room."

Saffron arrived last, sweeping forward and pulling my head to her chest. Her white Holy Garb scratched at me a little, but even the sight of her newly refreshed by sunset and standing there on display in that gown couldn't rouse me. "I'm here, love."

I think I cried a little more before she pulled me over to the shower. If she nuzzled me a little as she soaped me up, scrubbed me, then rinsed me off under the pounding water, I couldn't begrudge her that, but I still couldn't respond. It wasn't until I lay in the Bath with my ladies around me, a few of the girls snuggled in as well, that I finally found my voice. "Poor bastard."

"Really, love?"

I nodded. "I don't know why, but he was nothing but feral rage. Like, I dunno, he was rabid or something." I lay there as the ladies murmured surprise, then asked, "what the fuck was he, anyhow?"

Saffron took a deep breath. "I do not know. The only beings I know of who achieve that stature without Shaping of some kind are Titans and some Jotnar of legend."

Dad?

I felt him rummage through my head. Strange.

The concern in his voice did not settle my mind. "Strange how?"

Lyman slid into the Bath at the edge of my little island, and Sigyn arrived with him, immediately breaking off to join the kids who hadn't snuggled in around me. "He was... not any of those legendary Jotnar of whom your wife spoke. He was not any Jotnar I've known, either. In fact, he wasn't a proper Jotnar at all."

"What do you mean, Father?" Loki shot her a look, but she just kept her face neutral.

Finally he sighed, chuckled, and said, "so be it. At any rate, you know your friend William?"

"Uh... I know a couple Williams."

"The hybrid one?"

I had to snort out something not entirely unrelated to a laugh. "Believe it or not, you need to be more specific."

Loki blinked. "Jarl William 'Big Willie' Johnson."

"Okay, yeah, Mommy's chew toy. What about him?"

Loki almost snorted some bathwater at the words 'chew toy', but then he explained. "His proportions."

I nodded, then thought about it. "Oh! So that's why big man's proportions seemed out of whack?"

"Indeed. It's not uncommon for children with one Jotnar parent to have some form of disfigurement. There was even once a scholar who held that the entire Mor Pantheon were the children of Domnu and some unnamed Jotnar sire."

"Who the fuck said that?"

Loki shrugged. "No idea."

"How do you know about it then?"

Loki slumped, then brightened up as if he'd remembered something. "He told me."

"You didn't ask his name?"

Loki shook his head. "Oh, no. I'm certain he must have told me before he told me his theory. He told plenty of people. Among the Aesir and Dan, it was a popular theory for a time."

"I can't see the Dan dropping something like that, or forgetting the name of the dude who proposed it."

Loki shuddered a little bit. Then, as if centering himself, glanced at Saffron, Tallulah, Marie, Menace, and then his gaze settled on me. "They did not 'forget'. Domnu removed his name."

"So... Dude couldn't remember his name?"

"No. No one could. No one ever will. Because she didn't 'make him forget it'. She erased his name from reality itself. I'm not certain, but I think he died, mad and alone, because no one knew who he was."

That definitely explained his shudder. Not sure why he stopped shuddering after looking at me. "Okay. Yeah. Don't worry Dad. I won't let her go all erasure happy just because you told us about some racist bullshit somebody spouted once." He nodded, and I turned back to Saffron. "Okay, so maybe part Jotnar. Any other possibilities?"

"As I said, Titans. But all the Titans are chained in Tartarus."

My brain chose that moment to toss up a bit of info from that old mythology brick and connect it to something here and now. "Wait, wasn't Raymond a Priest of Saturn? I mean, High Priest?"

Saffron nodded, "His Priest Most High, in fact."

"How...?"

She shrugged. "I assume in much the same way as Madeline was created as a High Priestess of Tabitha Diaz." That kinda floored me, because I really hadn't remembered her connecting to me like that. Just that in that moment on my birthday, she was there. "High Clergy may create other High Clergy. Usually they do it when they believe themselves close to the end of their lives, but many will do so when they find another as devoted to their Deity as they themselves are."

"Okay, then. So he ought to have a direct line to Saturn, right?"

She nodded, and Loki added, "excellent idea, Daughter."

I wrapped my arms around Siobhan on one side and Marie on the other, pulling them toward me. Saffron realized what I was doing and snuggled me. "It bothers you that much?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice with Hailee, Daya, and David all snuggling in with us. I realized as we lay there, silently, that I might have strained some things fighting against the Titan, or Jotnar, or whatever he was. I sank deeper into the steamy water, letting it work its magic on my injuries.

Eventually, when the rest of the kids, not to mention Loki and Sigyn, accreted to our little floating island of hugs, Saffron Co-Located me to the Bedroom. Marie and Tallulah followed. "Would this help?" she asked softly.

I sighed. Thought about it. Nodded.

"Gently, or...?"

I thought about that for a moment. I wanted that, wanted gentleness more than anything in the world. But just then I wasn't sure if I needed it, and more importantly wasn't sure if it would work. I shook my head, a single jerk. "Scrub my fuckin' brain clean."

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

Dreamt of the rest of my ladies looking kinda awed at how merciless my Kitten could be with three sets of hands to do her bidding. Also of Saffron, Tallulah, and Marie looking insufferably, justifiably smug as they floated there watching their handiwork. Handwork. Whatever.

Woke up sore, but it was an entirely different and pleasant kind of soreness from my typical post-battle exhaustion and lingering injury. Apparently they'd slipped some concentrated Worship in there or something. Only weird thing was a new scar I noticed before I slipped my uniform on; a big assed bite mark on my left forearm.

I reached down and touched Saffron's arm. Her eyes slipped open. "You wanna come to visit Raymond and Saffron Rae with me?"

"Did you need me along?"

I thought about it. "I, uh, yeah, please?"

She paused, smiled, and rolled over to land next to me, uniform clad. She took my hand and said, "shall we?"

I stepped us to the Temple of Wisdom. Partially because I figured it was rude to drop us both into somebody else's bedroom, but mostly because I'd been a little lit last time I was at their place, and I half suspected I'd show up looking like Saffron Rae if I did that. Also thought Raymond might take that as an invitation, and even more than a year later I still remembered that day fondly enough that I might find that a little bit distracting.

Saffron leaned against me when I wrapped my arm around her as we walked. "Do you really think I'd let you get distracted like that?"

"I think you'd remind me we came there to ask him something after we were all laying there in a sweaty heap, with him asleep with a smile on his face."

She giggled and said, "you know me so well. Although..." I just looked down at her, raising an eyebrow. "I was really more thinking of 'them' sleeping the sleep of the righteously exhausted, and seeing if I could remind you right before I joined them."

"Bad Kitten! Naughty! Alliance in possible danger!"

She sighed. "I know, love. But when life seems to be intent upon forcing us to drink the draught of loss and pain to the dregs, we both seek out pleasure and company to offset it. Besides, I don't think anything that large could sneak past your Kraken, and our Navy and lookout towers are spreading out to watch even as we speak."

I strode through the doors of the Temple of Wisdom with my mouth hanging open. Then shook my head and smiled at her. "Sorry for doubting you, Kitten."

She sniffed, then smiled. "Oh, you didn't doubt me. Nor did you misjudge my impulses. You just didn't think. Which is really my job anyhow."

"Hey!"

At that point she goosed me, and we might have gotten into some horseplay hijinks right there, except I spotted Saffron Rae up by the altar and called out. "Saffron Rae! Just the lady we're looking for!"

She turned to face us, then walked to meet our approach. Calmly, but it wasn't the smooth glide I remembered from the last time we'd seen her here. When she got close enough, I caught sight of the bags under her eyes, the worry lines creasing her face.

When we reached conversational distance, Saffron said, "truly it's Raymond we've come to ask..." She petered off as Saffron Rae stiffened.

"Hey, we're not here to jump his bones or anything." I might have muttered, "Though I didn't think you minded."

Fortunately Saffron was there. She reached out and touched Saffron Rae's hand. "Easy, sister. If something has happened to Raymond, we're here to help."

Saffron Rae looked around, then nodded toward one of the smaller side rooms. We followed her in, and the moment the door closed, she collapsed, sagging onto the two of us. "I knew not who to turn to."

Saffron wrapped her arms around Hestia's High Priestess, holding her gently and even rocking her a little. A moment later Glowing Midnight enshrouded my High Priestess, who said, "know this, Saffron Rae. No matter what, you may always come to us with your troubles."

"It's Raymond. He... I fear he's gone mad."

"What has he done?"

She shook her head, sniffling, and some weird, I dunno, emotional smell seemed to waft off of her. Something I hadn't smelled since... i couldn't place it, but I tensed. Without thinking about why, I asked, "has he hurt you?"

She shook her head, but said, "No! No, no, no... Not on purpose."

"Where. Is. He." I growled out.

"I've locked him in the bedroom at our villa..."

I didn't hear anything else, just leapt to that bedroom. Raymond knelt, almost crouched, at the foot of the bed, his arms around his head as he rocked in place, wheezing through a throat screamed hoarse. I don't know if I moved, or he heard me arrive, but his head snapped around, and he leapt at me, screaming.

Raymond was the senior High Priest of a Titan. Of a Primordial.

I predated all of them save Domnu herself. I grabbed his arms, his legs. Stretched him out, spread eagled, as he kept up that hoarse scream, even trying to lunge and bite at me as I walked closer. I reached out, slipping my hand past his mouth to grab his chin. I squeezed, holding his jaw still.

"Please! Don't hurt him!" Saffron Rae called out from behind me, and I heard the sounds of an abortive scuffle as Saffron kept her from lunging at me.

"Goddess? Ward, please?"

It took me a moment, then I nodded. Without letting go of him, I pulled more tentacles into the Mortal Realm, into the room with us, and wove a Divine Ward, dumping as much Mana into it as I could. The moment it snapped into place, Raymond's eyes rolled back into his head and he sagged, utterly limp.

"Raymond!"

"Easy, sister. Be still but a moment longer."

As gently as I could, I lay Raymond on the bed, pulling the covers back, stripping his sweat soaked clothes off of him and hitting him with that cleaning whammy before pulling the covers back over him. I poured a Stabilize into the back of his neck, but all it did was make the last of his tension slip away. The moment I pulled away, Saffron Rae rushed past me, crawling onto the bed to kneel by her husband's side, weeping as she cradled his head in her lap. "Will... Will he..."

I looked to Saffron, who stared at Raymond for a long moment. I realized she'd been Shaping Assess Health when she nodded, gestured to move it aside, and said, "physically, he is exhausted, and has done himself a host of minor injuries. Between the Healing Tabitha has already done and plenty of rest, he should recover completely. But," she sighed. "I cannot be sure how Saturn's madness has affected his mind." Saffron Rae sobbed, and saffron laid a hand on her shoulder, then said, "we'll need to remove the Ward to leave. Hold him?"

Saffron Rae nodded, and I dispersed my Divine Ward. Raymond tensed, but didn't wake. After a few moments, he did begin moaning in his sleep. "Shit." They both looked at me. "If we put another Divine Ward around them before we leave, and he wakes up, she won't be able to come get us. If we don't leave the Divine Ward, he'll probably wake himself up and go crazy again."

"Is there nothing either of you can do?" Saffron Rae asked quietly.

I nodded, stepped forward, and lay a hand on his leg. "Healing Coma." The Shape formed, and he slumped again. "Sorry, best thing I can think of."

Saffron Rae nodded. "Thank you. I will see about bringing Healers here to see to him. I... Is there anything I can do to help you?"

Saffron shook her head. "We'd hoped to ask him to contact his Deity. But this... This tells me something of what's happening, I think." She paused. "Please come directly to us, either one of us personally or one of Tabitha's High Priestesses, should Raymond awaken."

Saffron Rae nodded. "I will."

We both hugged her, then stepped home.

"Well, that was a fuckin' waste of time." When Saffron looked at me, I shrugged, still angry. "No, I know, I'm glad we could help them, even if we couldn't fix shit. But we got shit to show for information."

Saffron shook her head. "That's not true, love." When I looked at her and made a 'go on' gesture, she nodded. "We know that whatever drove the giant who attacked us mad has also affected Cronos."

I froze. "Oh. Oh, shit. That's... That's very not good."

She nodded. "Now, how are you feeling?"

I took a moment. "Still kinda achy from yesterday, I think. Plus, y'know, six kinds of fucked up in the head from what I had to do yesterday."

She looked up at me, tilting her head. "Would it have been less traumatic for you had he been coherent? Clearly in possession of his faculties, and insistent on doing us harm?"

I didn't even really have to think. "Oh, shit yeah. I'd fuck an asshole like that up. Kinda wanna find whoever did that to him and do unto them."

She nodded. "Just know that it might not be." I head tilted back at her. "It might be some kind of disease, or disaster, or something without Agency causing this."

I took a deep breath, let it out. "Well. Shit. That would really suck shit."

"Indeed. If another of them attacks, will you be able to put it down?"

I went tense. "I... Shit, I have to, don't I?"

She nodded. "As much as I wish you didn't. Yes, love. If it is beyond our ability to do so, you will have to." I stood there, my mouth working, until she reached up and laid her hands over my lips. "Be at peace, love. We had a day's warning last time, and I suspect any future incursions will either have more warning or be less concentrated; something you can deal with non-lethally, as you did unto Raymond, or something our ships and sailors and Heroes can combat. But until then, whenever you aren't needed for this investigation?"

"Yeah?"

"Stay here. With the children, with Siobhan, with those of us who can stay with you. Ground yourself. Find your peace and fill yourself with it. Heal those hurts which no Healing can restore."

I pulled her into a hug. "Thanks, Kitten."

She hugged me back, pulled away, and said, "of course, love. Now, I must be off. Council things and military oversight and orders to give. I should be home for dinner though."

I pulled her in for a kiss, then spun her around and slapped her ass. "Have a good day at work, Kitten."

She mocked glowered at me before stepping away. Oh, I think Tallulah was looking for you.

I hopped around the Homestead until I found our long tall Sidhe Lady sitting on the edge of the bed playing with Calliope, Ria, Maze, and Hailee. When she saw me she handed Hailee to Maze and stood. "Tabitha."

We stood there looking at each other for a bit. Something told me she wasn't looking to get swept off her feet and ravished right then, so I just waited. Okay, I waited until I ran out of patience, which was a while. Mostly because not only was she easy on the eyes, the girls and kittens playing quietly behind her were cute, and nursing Marie cuddling with Siobhan was almost as cute as that. "What did you need?"

She blinked, as if surprised I had to ask. "It has been a month."

Yeah, it still took me a minute. "Oh!" I Shaped an Assess Health, then before releasing it asked, "may I?"

"I just told you I was waiting for you to."

Assessment For: Tallulah "T" Crow Target Type: Humanoid Biped (Sidhe, Human) General Health: Healthy Conditions: None Recommended Treatment: None Granular Assessment Data: Activate: ( Y / N )

"Well. Just to be sure, Siobhan?"

She looked up, blinking, from where she'd been resting. "Yes, Mistress?"

"Could you Assess Tallulah?"

"Of course. Am I looking for anything in particular?"

I glanced at the kids, who were clearly listening in. "Just a checkup." To see if she shares your delicate condition.

She smiled at us, her discomfort clearly banished for the moment. "Of course." We all watched her move her hands through the motions of Assess Health. After a few moments of examining the results, she put on what I realized was her professional bedside face and said, "Tallulah appears to be in excellent health." Not any longer. I'm sorry, Tallulah.

Tallulah nodded, reaching a hand out to me. I took it, and she said, "I really expected nothing less. Shall we be off?"

I stared at her for a second. "Did we have something scheduled?"

She blinked. "The Assessment, but I was hoping we wouldn't need an appointment?"

"For?"

"A visit to your son?" I stared at her blankly, totally clueless, while Marie and Siobhan both grinned like idiots, first at Tallulah, then me, then at each other. Tallulah opened her mouth, then without moving her head glanced toward the girls. For my collar?

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