Dear Diary,

"If a Child has no one else, And you take them as your own, You're my kind of Good Person." - Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Children

While Tabitha has spoken of unwanted Children before, and how we ought not have Children we do not want, and in extremis finding ourself with a Child ought never let them know, in this Verse she acknowledges the sad truth of our world. More often than not, when War, Plague, Famine, and Death strike, it is Children who suffer. It is sometimes difficult to say which suffer more; those who are struck down, their Souls cut free to wander the Afterlife, often without a Patron to claim them, or those who are left alive, with no family to nurture and protect them. Tabitha makes it as clear in this Verse as she has done by her actions in the Mortal Realm that no matter which, she will claim them. She will accept those fallen Children and guide them into realms of rest, and accept those orphans, not as burdens, but as her own Children, co-equal with her Children of the body, to love and cherish and call her own. In this she does not Command us to do anything but act as she would, in her stead. - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

Damn. I really didn't think about that when I wrote this. Then again, this was back when I was still under the influence of Ria's Blessing. Which meant I didn't remember shit like beating myself to death for Maze, or facing down Diana incarnate for Isnomi. But she sure as hell had grabbed up those kids Marie and Saffron and Fate dropped in her lap and screamed out 'mine' and did everything she could with them. I did that. Still gets me sometimes, like it wasn't really me, even though it was, and I wish it was. Which makes no sense, because it was.

Yeah, Mom still has that letter. I guess she hasn't thought I needed it that badly yet. Hopefully I never will. Maybe at some point if something throws me as badly as what happened to Bonnie, when I'm as fucked up as I was after my ride along through the sky with Pye. I dunno, and honestly at this point I don't want to speculate on what would drive me so far from myself that I need that. Then again, maybe it won't be rage. Maybe it'll be the Black Dog, making me think I'm worthless, when I need that reminder that worthless or not, I'm supposed to be the Better Me, to keep them all safe and loved and nurtured.

Also, I gotta check with Marie, because if she's been scooping up lost kid Souls, I want to know where she's delivering them. I wanna go visit and hold them and let them know somebody cares. I mean, if she didn't manage to find relatives or something like that. Hell, even if she did, I want to pop in and make sure everything's going okay. Part of it's Due Diligence. Part of it's being the person I wish had been there for me when my Mom died, which I guess is part of why I scoop up strays and orphans so readily here and now. Part of it, honestly, is just enjoying playing with kids when I don't have to change their diapers.

That reminds me, after dinner yesterday Isnomi got the bright idea to introduce the kits to the toilet. I'm simultaneously proud, horrified, confused, and amused by how that shit went down.

Obviously it started with Menace calling Marie over as we meandered back to East House to get the kids inside. "Mawa! Wook! Ithadowa ith walking!"

Marie, who had Anise corralled by pinning her under one arm and pacified by clamping the kit's face on a nipple, nodded. "She Is!"

As we approached the open doors, Menace nodded to herself and said, "befowah baff thee thould yuthe the pod."

I wound up a little iffy on that, because while our toilets were the older style with the tank up high, which left plenty of clearance for tailed persons to sit, I wasn't sure whether Marie had or could actually use them. I looked over at her and said, "what do you think, Mittens?"

Only to find her looking back at me with a mix of humor and panic, like she thought the idea was as adorable and cute as I did, but had zero idea how to potty train someone on a flush toilet. Her five had been pretty solidly potty trained when we got them, and honestly Menace had pretty much done it herself to be free of the tyranny of diapers. The lack of verbal communication with the kits also left me a little iffy on the subject, but one thing left me willing to give it a try.

Menace had, deliberately or not, volunteered.

"Okay, Isnomi. If you can be the best Big Sister ever and show her how, help her out, we'll try."

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Of course at that point Menace looked over at me, eyes huge, swallowed and said, "okay, Mama! I do it! I show her!"

Yeah, she has about as much respect for the rules of grammar as she has for anything else short of health and safety regs. Seeing how that respect had required me getting shot, I didn't see her losing her rough and ready speech patterns any time soon. Then again, whenever she'd been in the presence of Doctor Z, she'd managed to code switch fully into perfect grammar, pronunciation, and even behavior, so fuck it, not gonna borrow trouble on that.

I swear, she spent all of dinner extolling the virtues of the potty to her fuzzy sister. She took over feeding her, even just to have more time to explain how much better real 'big girl' clothing was than diapers. David was right next to her, talking about dresses and skirts, and even little Daya nodded along solemnly. I realized something then, and scooped up Hailee and a spoon, carried both over to where Daya was, and asked, "would you like to help feed her?"

So cute watching solemn, quiet little Daya carefully scooping out portions of meat mush, then holding them out for solemn, quiet little Hailee to carefully nom. Even cuter when Hailee reached out with both hands and wrapped them around Daya's hands to steady herself relative to the spoon. I scooped up Daya and set her on my other thigh; she frowned at me, then went back to feeding her sister, one careful scoop at a time.

When they finally got up to the Bath, we had a whole procession, led by Menace, Isadora toddling close behind between David and Daya. When we got to the end of the cubbies to the toilet stall, Menace turned, pulled off her little blouse and pants, the boots having been shed by the door, and turned her back on the pot. I declined to comment on her lack of underwear. Pot, kettle.

She swallowed, then said, "otay, Isadora, you sit on the pot like this." She hopped up, using her hands to brace herself as she dangled her butt over the middle of the pot. She paused, and a moment later she had a tail. I dunno why that didn't surprise me, but it didn't. "Lift your tail up so you don't get pee or poop on it, then pee," she let loose a liquid torrent, "and poop." At that point a series of plops hit the water. After a moment things went quiet. "Then Mama will give you the cup," I scooted around Isadora and, after setting Daya down gently, proceeded to fill the little washing cup and hand it to Menace, who demonstrated using it to rinse off. Then her brow furrowed. "You might need more than one cup, 'cause you got fur."

Then she leaned forward and whispered, "but long as you mostly clean, you can scrub good in the shower."

Yeah, mortification, thy name is Children. Thankfully none of the ladies waiting in line with the rest of the kits seemed at all shocked or surprised by our Menace's admission. Then she hopped off the toilet, held out her hands to Isadora, and said, "your turn!"

Isadora looked at the pot, which to be honest wasn't that much bigger on her than it was on Isnomi, then looked right at me. Because 'almost as big as Isnomi' or not, she'd just started walking today. She hadn't even started talking, I'm not sure she knew what the fuck Menace had been telling her. But, y'know, showing.

I looked at Hailee, then at Daya. "Can you hold her while I'm helping Isadora?" Daya nodded, solemn as ever, and I went to set Hailee down next to her. Clever little kit twisted at the last moment and put her feet on the ground, then clutched at her sister. Wobbling, but holding herself up. I beamed at them, kissed them both on the forehead, and turned to Isadora and the two girls standing with her.

"Okay. Menace, David, can you guys pull her diaper off just before I lift her?" They nodded, and I reached down and, right after they pulled the diaper off, smoothly lifted her and turned to put her on the pot. The predictable event caused by me picking up a diaper-aged kid happened.

Turned out she hadn't quite gotten her tail up enough, and she wasn't stable enough to handle the cup herself anyhow. But Menace and David helped her balance, and I poured a couple cups of water over her until nothing stood out as 'poo'. Easy to tell on the white part of her butt, less easy to tell on the black part. When I finished, I lifted her off, set her on her feet between David and Menace, who steadied her as she toddled off toward the bath. Then I turned back to pick Hailee back up.

Only to find her standing in front of the toilet, one hand braced on the rim, one on Daya's shoulder, looking up at me. "Mama?"

I looked at Daya. "Get her diaper?" Daya nodded, I lifted, and we repeated the process. Only without the failure to tail lift.

Of course after seeing two of her sisters do something, Anise had to try it. Anything Anise did, Felicia had to do. At that point half of them had done it, and the rest just kind of lined up behind and cycled through as well. As I lifted Borysthenis, who'd wound up at the back of the pack, off the pot, I smiled at Saffron. "Reminds me of back at Lancaster House."

She just smiled serenely. "So life cycles, endless repetition on into infinity, ever changing, yet ever the same." I couldn't help it, I barked out a laugh. "What?"

"Potty poetry." She frowned. "No, no, I loved it. Really. So deep. So thoughtful. But..." I waved my hands around at the little toilet stall.

She just smiled. "Sometimes the simplest things are the start of the greatest changes." She reached around me to pull the flush chain, incidentally rubbing against me as she did. Very pointedly, in fact. Then she put one of Borysthenis' hands in mine, and gently took her other one, so we could help her toddle her way to the shower. "Like flushing our crap away to be turned into fertilizer, and washing away the filth of the day." As we stepped into the shower to see Menace, David, and Isadora just getting into the tub, she smiled and said, "and eight out of eight of our newest girls all surviving to stand on their own two feet."

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