Dear Diary,

"Chasing down euphoria, All of us are doing it, It is what life's all about." - Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Ecstasy

Here in the second Verse of the Book of Ecstasy, Tabitha delivers to us the core of her view, her understanding of reality itself. All of us, from barely sentient monsters to anthropomorphic personifications of Primordial forces of nature, seek euphoria, seek joy, seek Ecstasy. Because that, in the end, is our goal. To arrive at a place, to achieve a state where our innermost selves, our very Souls, cry out with joy that we have found our place, our task, our goal, and have arrived, have succeeded, have reached that goal. - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

Y'know, when I was writing this I definitely wasn't thinking that my revelation was super superior or somehow better than the folks who sit under a fig tree and meditate to get their jollies. That me, the me that had emotionally healed some and physically recovered from getting shot in the head, but still had no memories of learning and growing after arrival, was just trying to make sure my Worshippers didn't wind up getting treated like second class citizens on Religious Pride Parade days or whatever. Yeah, I'd done a few religious things, but they were more 'religion adjacent' than actually spending reliable recurring time in a Temple.

Weddings. Funerals. I hadn't done anything about births, but yeah, those are the things that wind up being really religion adjacent in most societies. I used to think it's because religious folks want to control everything, and you don't get much more universal than birth, death, and mating. But I think I'm starting to get a better handle on the religion thing, and maybe it's not so much that dickheads decide to use religion to control people and pull all those major life events into it. I think that maybe religions start out as just ways to celebrate and bring people together around those big life events, and then when the folks are all hitting the Temple to get named, to get hitched, to get buried, and maybe to get some support when life shits on them like life do, the shitheads come along and take over, because there's power there just ripe for the taking.

I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I was right before and organized religion is just a big scam, and the only different between religion back in the day and religion here and now is that the folks pulling the scam here and now are actual Deities as opposed to assholes in fancy clothes. But maybe, just maybe, my Kitten and I and our ladies will be able to build a community that isn't about funneling power to the top and dropping shit to the bottom. I mean, yeah, that happens, just due to the nature of power. But that, right there. The nature of power. The nature of wealth. Both of them rise. Both of them naturally accrue at the 'top', and there's almost no fuckin' reason whatsoever to accentuate or accelerate that process. Fuck, if anything there need to be brakes on that shit. The system needs to hold that shit to acceptable levels, and come with some way to make sure the power and wealth reliably get cycled back to the bottom.

Shit, sometimes when I'm thinking about shit like this I remember that I'm not some kind of genius wunderkind with multiple advanced degrees from the finest institutions in the modern world, building on the accumulated knowledge of the greatest minds of history. I'm just a poor bitch from an economically devastated town who wound up getting shot in the head and somehow won the afterlife lottery. I'm not in charge because I'm in any way qualified, by nature, training, or talent, to be in charge. I'm in charge because I'm the biggest, strongest bitch on the planet, and anybody who tries to use their power and privilege to hurt people I care about is gonna find out exactly what it feels like to have their head, hands, and feet simultaneously shoved so far up their ass they need to open their mouth and untie their shoes to see.

So yesterday late in the afternoon, while I had the kids practicing a bunch of basic equations on their slates, I Co-Located to Karen and Ivan. He looked at me and frowned. "How many children are in this school?"

I looked at Karen, who answered for me. "Right at this moment? About two hundred. Most of the children come to us two or three days a week. There's a bit of overlap, there are many who only come one day a week, and even more who come less regularly than that. But overall, not counting children who've never come back after their first visit, we have about two thousand children technically 'enrolled'."

I blinked a little. "Two thousand?" She nodded, smiling. "Uh, how... Oh, you're counting the ones who only come once every week or two?"

"Yes, Goddess. And the ones who come for a meal, stay for a class or two, then go home."

I sighed. "Are we really helping those kids that much, though?"

Ivan snorted. "Isn't that supposed to be my line?"

I tried really hard, and I think I mostly didn't scowl at him. "Look, I'm not really an academic. Yeah, I went to the Academy and all, and technically I think I've done every bit of graduating except being old enough, but I really have no fuckin' clue how a school is supposed to be run, or how to teach kids stuff."

He laughed at me. "Didn't I see you teaching Math to a bunch of children this morning?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but that's mostly because I'm the only one in the Temple who knows it well enough and remembers my own lessons well enough to repeat them. Honestly, I think I'm kinda shit at it, but..." I shrugged.

Karen quietly interjected, "some students who might otherwise not pay attention strive mightily when the Goddess herself deigns to teach them."

"Hey, I don't deign nothin'. I just show up and try to help them figure out how to do math."

Ivan had no reason to go laughing at me at that point. Still, diplomacy. "Yeah at any rate, I just gave the marching orders. Which, uh, weren't real specific. I just told Karen and Saffron that the kids ought to learn, and they've been putting that in action as best they can at my Temples and the Alliance Academies."

That brought a thoughtful frown to Ivan's face. "Which children?"

I shrugged. "All of 'em, I think."

Karen nodded and quietly added, "as many as we can convince to come, yes."

"So, every noble child?"

I shrugged and shook my head. "Every child. I don't give a shit whose they are. Yeah, technically I think Saffron qualifies as 'noble', so yeah, technically our kids qualify as 'noble kids', but that doesn't mean shit to me. They're kids, they ought to learn whatever they can whenever they can. Why are you two laughing?"

Karen kept getting out the first couple syllables of 'forgive me, Goddess' then breaking down again. Ivan finally pulled himself together and said, "your children."

"Yeah?"

"You're married to the Imperator, yes?"

I drew the answer out. "Yeah."

"And your... second wife? Is herself a Demigoddess?"

I nodded firmly. "Yep. Maenad. Champion of Dionysus too. Not to mention my High Priestess."

He smiled and shook his head. "And yet you'd say it's your wife's position which qualifies them as 'nobility'."

I shrugged. "I mean, I don't recall anybody ever actually tapping me with a stick and saying I'm officially the Champion of the Alliance. I'm also not sure what that would mean in terms of titles of nobility. Same with Marie and Dionysus. But Saffron's the Imperator, in charge of the Alliance military. That's some nobility shit right there. Not to mention, y'know, having a vote on the Grand Council and all the fuckin' political savvy in the world."

Ivan turned to Karen. "Is she for real?"

Karen's eyes twinkled as she grinned and nodded.

"Have you seen the rest of the Temple yet?" I asked him.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Beyond the school?" I nodded. "Is there anything I ought see?"

"I mean, I guess if you're... no, wait, working girls in Boltophsberg are in the Courtesan's Guild, aren't they?" He frowned. "Hey, look, here in the Alliance it's not so much a Guild thing as them falling under my Domain. Not an exclusive 'if you wanna sell sexual services, you come through me' thing, more of a 'if you provide orgasms professionally, I'm here for you if you need help' thing."

He just shook his head. "A non-exclusive Guild. That... makes no sense."

"Yeah, well. It works." I very carefully didn't turn to Karen. It's working, right?

She nodded. "It does." Cherry tells me even those who do not avail themselves of our services are faring better, as they and everyone else know they have the option of coming to us.

He shook his head. "I've no need to visit a brothel."

I smirked at him. "Need or not, this is one. Among many other things. Brothel, School, Restaurant. Uh, I guess Bar and Theater, too, right?"

"Yes, Goddess, although..." Ivan and I both turned to look at her, and she blushed a little. "The quality of the theatrical performances is somewhat lackluster."

Why?

There are very few professional performers. Just not a common profession in Atlantis.

Really?

She nodded. "Other than that, we've performers to compete with any in Atlantis. Perhaps even enough to compete with the oldest Cities in Europa."

Ivan smirked. "So hopefully we'll still be able to compete with the Alliance in something." Then he frowned again. "Even if it is the damn Courtesans doing so."

By that time the sun was definitely setting, so I asked, "you hungry?"

He head tilted. "You gonna show me your fancy restaurant?"

I shook my head. "Nah. Gonna take you home to meet the fam." When he looked a little surprised, I said, "I don't really eat here much except special occasions. I like to cook. And, uh, Marie..."

Karen cut in with, "our chef here does his very best, but I suspect if Marie were to put forth more than her habitual effort, he would be forever humbled in comparison."

"Ooh, slick." I turned back to Ivan. "You comin'?"

He looked doubtful, but took my hand when I held it out. Karen looked a little surprised but did the same. I stepped all three of us back to the Homestead, right outside so I could show him through the fancy doors. The kids corralled and stepped right to the dining room, because it was tough enough to get them all seated and eating without also having to herd them through not one but two sets of doors.

I sat him in the same spot I'd sat Lemonkyenin, for pretty much the same reasons. Close enough to talk if he wanted to, but not in the best seat, because I'm not that diplomatic. Points to Ivan, he focused on the food. Panzerottis and pastelillos today. Deep fried pastry pockets for the win. Honestly I'm not sure if Ivan knew his ass from a hole in the ground when it came to high society fancy eats, but then before Marie I didn't really either. Honestly, I'm not sure I do now, but what I do know is that if you deep fry anything it makes it better, and good ingredients in the hands of a talented cook makes it better, and Marie and I absolutely put a lot of love into everything we brought home for the family.

Also, y'know, the man has his 'office' in a bar, he's gonna like bar food, and all the best bar food is deep fried.

At the end of the meal he kinda groaned, leaned back and then looked super embarrassed when he kinda full body hiccupped. Okay, I'm pretty sure he burped, but he did his dead level best to keep it in. "Sorry."

"Nothin' to be sorry about, my dude." I have no idea why the next words left my mouth, but I asked, "You wanna head back, or you wanna spend the night?" When he sorta frowned, I said, "we've got plenty of extra rooms, and the Bath is not to be missed."

He shot me all the side eye, but heaved himself up and followed the fam up to the Bath. Looked equally doubtful when everybody just kinda stripped down and started showering. I nodded to the far side of the Bath and said, "more cubbies and towels and showers over there if you're feeling shy."

He frowned, then said, "I think I might need a chamber pot."

That's when Menace nearly caused a diplomatic incident by giggling and saying, "we nad gahd pahds, we gahd toy-lets."

I sighed, nodded, and said, "right at the end of the cubbies. Lockers. Whatever. Just pull the chain when you're done."

Don't know what he experienced in there, but he came out with a real doubtful look on his face and a towel wrapped around him. He set it aside to shower, then pulled it back around his waist to walk to the far side of the Bath, where he slipped in and used the towel as a pillow. After a while, he drifted over to sort of conversational distance from where the ladies and I floated, soaking in the heat. "I half expected you to..."

"Jump your bones?" He nodded. I tried to resist, but a lifetime of doing it for the memes reached up and grabbed me. I rolled over and braced my hands on Marie's belly, my chin on my hands, and said, "I am not trying to seduce you." Then, after half a beat, rolled my shoulders, cracked my neck, and pushed myself up just enough that my chest brushed against Marie's belly. "Would you like me to seduce you?"

I tried, but I couldn't keep it up for long enough to watch his reaction. I started laughing as he kinda cringed, then immediately started apologizing. "Sorry, sorry, dude, I just... It's an old line from a... Shit, how am I supposed to explain shit not even my ladies get?"

He looked at me, then at them. "Really?"

Saffron slipped onto Marie's chest next to me, while Murder Mittens purred and enjoyed being our raft. "It's true. We have no idea why she's laughing at things half of the time. Sometimes she can explain it, and the joke eventually makes sense. Other times it's nonsensical, but still funny. But most of the time? She's utterly incomprehensible."

"Hey!"

"But so sweet and well intentioned we love her anyway."

"Making me sound like a rescue dog," I grumbled.

"My very favorite dog in the entire world."

Her arm snaked behind my waist, and I grumbled out, "woof." before turning to intercept her lips with mine.

"If you don't mind, I'll just enjoy the heat of your Bath. Seduction neither required nor desired."

When I came up for air I said, "hey, you do you, boo. In this house we respect Agency and Consent. Although, uh..." He opened one eye a slit, and I explained. "If you fall asleep here in the Bath, I'm gonna carry you to one of the guess rooms if you're still asleep when we're ready for bed."

He shut his eyes and smiled. "A man could get used to being carried to bed. Like a child with his Baba. Not that I'm a child, but," he sighed. "You're clearly a Goddess. Worse things than to be treated as a child by a Deity."

Turns out he didn't fall asleep, or if he did it was shallow enough for him to wake up when we started getting the kids out of the Bath and drying them off. I pointed him at the empty rooms, telling him to take whichever empty one he wanted, what with Diana and D and their kids still hanging around. Although they mostly had started piling into the big bed with us, camping out in one of the guess rooms, or doing the same in one of our girls rooms.

Dreamt of the ladies pampering Siobhan. Definitely could get used to that. Also, midway through the night, Siobhan, Karen, and Madeline all disappeared from my Maw, the latter two showing up on the big screen moments later. No idea which of them was giving Siobhan a ride along. Shit, might have been both of them. No idea, but when she showed back up she had an absolutely blissful smile on her face. Still there when I woke up in the morning.

Of course, I could have done without the resurgence of somebody out east calling for me, but fuck it, I was doing what I could about that.

Took Ivan back to his bar in the morning. After a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and hash browns, with some kinda weak fruity beer Devorah brought for us. Not weak in the taste sense, just not super alcoholic. On the one hand, I'm not sure I really wanted to start drinking before noon. On the other hand, Ivan seemed to like it enough that he asked for a bottle full to take home with him.

"So. You got thoughts on my Temple?"

He smiled at me. Well, a half smirk, half smile kind of thing. "Not asking about your house?"

"Oh, shit no. I know my house is baller. Saffron designed that shit to meet every one of our needs and desires."

"Really?" I nodded. "Huh. I thought you'd want some privacy at times."

I just grinned at him. "Hey, you didn't see the Bedroom."

He frowned. "I saw the guest room. I did see down the hall into that big open bedroom when I came down for breakfast. Don't your children sleep there most of the time?"

I nodded. "Yep. That's the sleeping bed, for all of us, moms and kids and family and even some guests all cuddle up on to sleep." I waited a tick, then said, "the fuck bed is someplace the kids can't find it. Which makes it kinda hard for anybody else to find it. We've got really clever, determined kids."

"Fuck bed," he deadpanned.

"Yep. Custom crafted to be the ultimate fucksperience. By the Weyland Smith himself."

He started laughing. "Oh. Oh, Tabitha Diaz. I almost believed you there." He laughed a bit more while I stared at him. "Fuck bed." He kept chuckling. "Weyland Smith."

I smiled at him and said, "yeah. He's my adopted son." He snorted, but looked a little weirded out. "He insisted. You wanna meet him?"

Ivan froze. "I cannot for the life of me tell if you're carrying a joke far too far, attempting somehow to threaten me, or... Or... Or just telling me the bald faced truth."

I smiled at him, patted his hand. "Hey, Ivan. I haven't lied to you yet. Why would I start now?"

"On that note, I think I'm going to get drunk again."

I nodded. "Fair. Let me know when you're ready to talk again?"

"I will. I most certainly will."

I reached out a hand, and he clasped it. We shook once, and then I collapsed back to the plethora of me doing everything I did on a Saturday.

Some time late in the day, Karen walked into my classroom. "Goddess?"

I finished helping the girl I'd been showing how to do long division, then set her up with another to do before turning to Karen. "What's up?"

She handed me an old school envelope, the kind that was just paper folded together and sealed with wax. "A courier delivered this to the Questing Tentacle a few minutes ago."

I cracked it open, scanned the contents, and asked, "he still waiting for a reply?" She nodded, and I sighed and reread the surprisingly short letter.

The Goddess Ilmatar, Wife of Vainamoinen, invites you to share tea and luncheon tomorrow at noon. I should enjoy trading words with you as well. I will send a guide tomorrow at noon. B.I.

I sighed. "Okay. Send back an RSVP." She looked a little confused. "Send a letter back with the courier, letting them know I'll be there waiting at noon."

"Again?"

"Looks like."

Really trying not to think about how many transliterations use the same characters for I, J, and sometimes Y.

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