Dear Diary,

"If you need to kill someone, Be prepared to Revive them, 'Cause all of us make mistakes." Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Justified Homicide

As she has before, in this Verse our Goddess reminds us of our own fallibility, not only because she is wise enough to know it exists, but because she is humble enough to know that she herself is not infallible. This is the first, surface meaning of this Verse; that when we set out to kill another, we ought be ready to undo what we have done, because it is possible that our actions were not Justified, that we ought not have killed the one we killed. Perhaps they were not guilty of the wrongdoing we thought them guilty of. Perhaps they'd already made amends. Perhaps they were even in the process of making amends, and in killing them, we prevent their Redemption. But there is another, deeper meaning, one that we must keep in mind. Even one whose death is Justified by the consequences of their actions may have made a mistake. They may well be unable to fix the consequences of their actions without assistance, or for whatever reason may deserve Redemption rather than death. And someday, that person may be us, and if we wish for mercy, we ought give it in turn. - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

Y'know, I was mostly thinking about Diana when I wrote this one. About how She'd tried to improve, learned to appreciate her Divinity and life for the gifts that they were. Then she fucked up in a way that left me no choice but to follow through on my earlier promise, to kill her painfully if she disobeyed. Yeah, I went into that with the intent to Revive her, and her actions while I was killing her only cemented that in place as the right thing to do.

Yeah, she fucked up. But that only mattered because I'd fucked up before that. Laid down the law in a way that left me no way out but through. At this point I dunno if that was for the best in the end or not. On the one hand, I found out some disturbing shit about myself. I'm not only good at torture for the sake of torture, but I enjoy it, and not even in a sexy kind of way, but in a little kid finger painting kind of way. She had to experience all that agony and degradation. I'm pretty sure that in terms of raw Deific power, she wound up less coming out than she was going in.

But...

I learned that I can follow through on my most heinous threats and still be merciful, for a maybe weird value of mercy. She learned that she is more than what Zeus wanted her to be. She walked away... herself. Pure. Beholden to no one, save by her own decision. And she chose to bend the knee to me, immediately after that, with all that pain still right there.

Still. I guess... No, I know it's important that people realize it's not the end of the world if they fuck up. That they need to get back up and try again. That they need to let other people do the same, so long as they're trying to do better.

Today was... weird. Not sure why, just felt like things weren't so much happening as getting ready to happen. It started with dinner, where Marie turned her full talent to Pizza. I mean, it's a day early, but I can't complain. Okay, I could complain, but I'm not stupid enough to do that. Yes, there is something for which I have an insufficient amount of stupid, and that is Marie turning pizza up to eleven. The crust. The sauce. The cheese. The toppings, and I'm talking not just about the blissful combinations like onion and pepper or mushroom and meatball, but the individual toppings themselves were just perfect. Like, I've had pizzas before where a slice of pepperoni falls off, and I eat it, and it's just the perfect piece of pepperoni. But this was an entire perfect pizza covered in perfect individual toppings. Next level shit. She brought home eight of them, I think. I got a little lost in the sauces savoring them.

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

At one point Marie picked me up, nuzzled me, and whispered, "You Like?"

All I could do was murmur, "Mmm hmmm," and project the mouthgasm her pizza was in the process of giving me.

"Good."

Another night of rehearsals. I don't even know how I know they're rehearsals and not the real thing, but somehow everything seemed like everybody was kinda still finding their places. Again, as dawn neared, I heard that voice. I stepped to Treachery Rock, kind of expecting to hear it loud and clear, but... No joy. I could tell it was a female voice, and definitely calling my name, but other than that, nothing. For a moment I thought about calling back, but something stopped me. Not sure what. But I took a minute to pick out the exact direction, memorized the cracks in the top of Treachery Rock, and kept focused on that until I woke up.

Work was strange. I'm pretty sure Saffron is doing some kind of shell game with somebody on the Grand Council, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out who, or what she was tryna pull. I was curious, but not stupid enough to ask anything where it might jostle her elbow. Shit, I didn't even ask her back in the office; I'm savvy enough to know that sometimes pulling a con you've got to convince yourself of shit, and explaining just fucks that up. But at the end of the day, I trust my Kitten, both that what she's doing is the right thing to do and that she'll clue me in the moment I'm needed.

Didn't help that somehow I got the idea that Marie knew exactly what Saffron was doing.

I wound up with a bunch of shit jobs today at the Academy. Nothing really unfairly obnoxious, just stuff that took up way more of my attention than it should, mostly due to awful smells or textures or visuals. I decided I wasn't gonna try to find out which Cadet had bled all over their uniform shirts and tried to hide them. Given the humidity over the past couple weeks, those shirts needed to be completely remade, but the Academy doesn't waste cloth, or anything else, which meant the fabric still had to be washed. If I figured out who was responsible for that shit I'd do something I'd regret, so... Not looking, just holding my nose and cleaning.

The kids wanted to play hide and seek. Took me most of the fuckin' morning to find Isnomi hiding in Baby's enclosure. Then I had to explain to all my girls why that was now against the rules. Both for their safety and Baby's. Not to mention my peace of mind. And Baby's.

Siobhan smiled at me most of the day. At one point I looked at her and said, "feeling better, Darling?"

She shook her head. "No. But the view makes up for it."

Yeah, I guess she knows how to make me blush now too.

Down in the Overlord's Courtroom, Tallulah had taken to skritching Marie and I atop our heads. which might make me feel some kinda way if I didn't enjoy it so much. I know. "But Tabitha, what if the Fae stop respecting you?" Look, any Fae that forgot Nutty McShitface and my current tentacle bling deserved exactly what they got for being too stupid to live painlessly.

As the Grand Council broke for lunch and Marie grabbed most of Saffron and my attention administering our lunchtime pit stop, Saffron stepped atop Treachery Rock and took me by the hand. "M-Space, please?"

I nodded and stepped us across. I might have pulled Marie as well. I definitely left her dress behind on the rock. She just rolled her eyes at me as I lined up and pointed for Saffron to triangulate.

"Kinda wondering if I should respond. Holler Polo to their Marco."

She frowned. "I think it wise that you did not, love." When I gave her a questioning look, about all I could do with a certain Murder Mittens tryna distract me, she said, "unless my geometry and geography are both wrong, those voices are coming from St. Boltophsberg."

If you find any errors ( broken links, non-standard content, etc.. ), Please let us know < report chapter > so we can fix it as soon as possible.