Dear Diary,

"Equity gives a fair shot, To everyone who tries, To employ their Agency." - Tabitha Diaz, Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Egalitarianism

The fifth Verse of the Book of Egalitarianism continues to stress Equity, explaining that Equity is what makes Egalitarianism possible, because it is what puts us all on an equal footing. It is all well and good to say that all people are equally valuable in a moral sense, and that we therefore ought treat them equally, but it would be disingenuous to claim that two people can truly be judged equally when one has struggled to find food and shelter their entire life and the other has never known want. In order for us to champion Egalitarianism in our congregations and our society, we must do our best to empower all of us to fully employ our Agency. - Priestess Most High Above All Others, Archmage Imperator Saffron Aetos-Diaz, Commentary on the Doctrine of Tabitha

Saffron's really nailing these verses, which is more than I can say about me writing them. I think deciding on Egalitarianism as a core Value must have been me setting shit on Hard Mode or something. Then again, I'm not sure I really chose that. Like, yeah, I get it, I'm absolutely all about Egalitarianism, because I want a fair shot for myself and I've tried, in general, not to be too much of a hypocritical bitch. But if I'd known I was gonna write a book of seven syllable poetry explaining how to live to my Worshippers, I'd have told Saffron to tell Karen my core Value was Equity instead. Three syllables, rather than seven when you mumble, eight if you enunciate.

Yeah, 'if I'd known'. Like that was a foreseeable chain of events.

No, really, I get it. Totally inescapable, I had no Agency myself, shit just happened and I reeled from crisis to crisis, utterly unable to change my fate, so I should have known exactly what wild assed bullshit I'd come up with in that inevitable instance.

Sorry, I can't even keep that shit up for longer than a sentence or two. Yeah, early on I wound up reeling, or doing what other people told me, but even way back in the beginning I told Diana to fuck off and hot swapped Loki into my Patron slot. Which sounds way kinkier than it actually is. Although now I'm tempted to see about seeing how much of me I can fit in Saffron if I refer to her hoo hah as her 'Patron slot'. Nah, she'd probably bonk me with one of the fascina if I did that. Also, I'd deserve it, mostly.

Yeah, I don't choose everything that happens to me. That's just fuckin' life. It is not a one player game. Other people make choices too, and sometimes I've got to deal with those choices to the best of my ability. When those other people have some Power of their own, that can get a little energetic. Whether that means 'going Kakarot on Gregor' energetic, 'eating a Primordial Dragon in ways I'm still not comfortable with how they make my nethers feel' energetic, or 'accidentally broke Florida off the continent and had to glue it back on' energetic. Shit, that last one I didn't even kill anybody. I wasn't even mad at anybody, really. Just helping out a daughter who is maybe twice my age and a new friend who might also be partially Undead and the spirit of winter.

Yeah, my life is fuckin' weird. It really shouldn't surprise anybody that I enjoy the whole 'busy, but predictably so' routine that life settled into once I got that whole Jack and Adrienne thing settled. Enough variety between the cleaning, cooking, and playing with kids to not be boring, but nothing high stakes, nothing life or death. Yeah, I know I'm gonna have to go deal with Boltophsberg, but that's for Future Tabitha, and I'm gonna try to prep so she's not completely winging it, but for right now I'm focused on other stuff. Important stuff. Kitten stuff.

Also kitten stuff, but I've got less control over that. So I'm doing an ADHD Powers Activate and forgetting about it because my lack of object permanence lets me forget about it except in the Bath.

Speaking of, yesterday when we got ready to head home, a couple Maenads came up to Marie and handed over some big packages. Three big wrapped up packages; she handed me one that it took me both hands to hold until I got a rush of brains to the head and used my tentacles. When I turned to her to take one or maybe both of the others, she'd sunk her claws into them and lifted, hoisting them to her sides. She looked at me expectantly and lifted one enough for me to slip in beside her. I not only did that, I scooped her up into a princess carry. Which wound up with the packages thumped to the ground beside her, because I am nowhere near as tall as Marie.

"Where are those going, Mittens?"

"Bedroom." I stepped us to the bedroom, and she shot me a look of mixed affection and exasperation. "Other one."

I shrugged and stepped us to the Bedroom, where she let go of her cargo, and I dropped the third package on top of one of them. Then I shuffled them around to one side of the room, where they blocked off one of the sets of steps and filled about a third of the room's space. "What's in those, anyhow?"

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She looked super shy, almost embarrassed about it, but I just waited, shifting her around and nuzzling her. Eventually she rewarded my patience by whispering, "nesting"

I smiled, nuzzled her again and said, "so... Soon?" She nodded. "Before Saffron's birthday?" She paused, thought about it, then shook her head while shrugging. I just smiled at her and said, "they come when they come. That would be one hell of a birthday present though, wouldn't it?"

She snickered, and we stepped back to the dining room. At this point I gotta look into getting a bigger serving table, or maybe some sideboards or something. Not so much because 'too much food', although I'm sure when Alex and Lindsey and the Menace hit their teen years, we'll need to have a buffet table worth of food for each of them, but because I've kinda gone full on 'something for everyone' on the buffet. Like, Friday or Saturday is Pizza Night, sure, but if I'm not tryna do a theme night like that, I'm bringing home a family sized bowl of salad, and I mean big family sized, not just the 'family sized' that my fat ass used to sit down and scarf all by myself back in the day. I bring an equally large platter of sandwiches, with at least two of everything, not to mention enough for two for each kid, which usually leaves one for each of my ladies and some extras for our nightly guests. A big tureen of chicken soup with those big ball dumplings in, and a charcuterie board of meat pate, cheese, and flatbread.

It sounds like a lot, but not only does the variety keep me from getting bored making it, mostly, I'm also feeding eleven people plus guests now. That's not including me, but then I'm not nearly as high nom capacity as I used to be. I think it's the Worship. That reminds me, I gotta make sure that our littlest Primordial is getting her daily allotment of that, whatever it happens to be. I mean, I'd hate it if we're doing everything else in the world and then she gets sick or something because she's not getting enough Vitamin W.

So after dinner I checked in on that. While Tallulah and Saffron entertained the kids, I floated between Marie and Siobhan, cradling their heads in my arms as I leaned against the side of the tub. "Hey Marie?"

"Yes, Vlickies?"

"You've been a Goddess longer than me." I snorted. "Understatement of the year."

"Century."

"Okay, smartass. Do we get sick if we don't get Worship?"

She thought about that, making a cute little humming noise. Eventually she nodded, more a sign she'd decided on an answer than an answer in and of itself, and said, "Tired. Stretched."

Her meaning struck me almost immediately. "You mean you and your sisters, all that time?" She nodded. "Oh. Oh, shit. Menace?"

She snorted, then shook her head. "Different. Primordial."

"Aren't we, y'know, bigger?" She nodded. "So shouldn't we need more?"

Marie sat there, mouth working, trying to come up with an answer. Just before I told her not to worry about it, Siobhan quietly said, "if I may?" Marie smiled, relieved, and nodded. "The appetites of Primordials are, indeed, far vaster than those of Demigods. But at the same time, their sources of Worship, of sustenance are larger too. A Maenad receives open, specific Worship only rarely, more typically as part of the Worship of Dionysus. But any who Revel with a Maenad Worship them, just a little. Enough that it can sustain them without harm. Am I correct so far, Mistress Marie?"

"Yes, Amolydos."

At that, obviously another of Marie's pet names, Siobhan blushed beet red and floated, speechless for a bit. Finally she shook herself and continued. "But for a Primordial, not only will far more Mortals worship them openly and directly, any act of Worship directed at any part of their Domain feeds them. Sustains them."

"Uh, so any time anybody Worships..." I thought about Menace's Domain. "Why would somebody Worship a predator?"

Marie answered. "Fear."

I blinked at that. "Oh. Oh, shit. You mean any time anybody is afraid of any predator, it counts as an act of Worship for her?"

Marie shrugged and said, "Diluted. Imperfect."

Siobhan caught on and explained. "She means that each individual instance is far less concentrated than, say, Saffron or I deliberately Worshipping one of you. But yes, when you take all of those into account? She certainly ought not be lacking for Worship."

"Predators."

That only took me a moment to parse. "You mean predators Worship her too?" Marie nodded. "Wow. Yeah. That's a lot of Worship."

Siobhan just shrugged, as did Marie. "Primordials require enormous amounts of sustenance, but they have very large mouths, metaphorically speaking."

I snuggled her in tight. "Sounds like somebody's missing a certain Maw."

"Very much. Please? When," she laid a hand on her belly. "When this is done?"

I nodded, she smiled, and Marie purred, one arm snaking under both of us to pull us all together.

We all went to the Bedroom after the kids were in bed. No sexy times, though. We all had too much fun unpacking all the pillows, bolsters, blankets, sheets, fabric and stuffing in Marie's 'nesting' packages. By the time we were done, the place was softer than our old Academy cell. At that point I got a rush of brains to my head. "Wait, are you planning on having your Kittens in here?"

Marie nodded, then looked a little worried.

"Don't worry, Mittens. I'm not upset. I just... won't the girls worry?"

"Messy."

"Okay, yeah, fair. I've heard childbirth can get a little bloody. Not something we want our girls watching."

"Might keep them away from boys for a year or two longer, at least," murmured Saffron.

I poked her and grinned. "Didn't work for you."

"I was the youngest child in my family, Goof."

"Huh. Me too." I shrugged, then realized. "Wait, so we're gonna get all that mess all over this room instead?"

Marie put paid to my worries with one word. "Karen."

I'm not sure if my sociopathic son ever intended for his finest creation yet to be used as a janitorial device. Honestly, though, I couldn't find a single flaw in Marie's logic.

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