Isaac's meditation was different than every other time. Mana did not flow into his core from the front, out of his back, and then loop back in to cycle through him. Instead, it was as if his core was an empty void where all the dark mana wanted to pool. Dark mana came in from all directions and just pooled inside of him. It saturated him unlike ever before. It was almost as if the dark mana was trying to dilute him until he was dissolved and could become one with it. A minute in, mana finally started flowing out from him but it was not out his back like before. The mana flowing out from Isaac went in two directions in two clear and directed streams like high pressure water. One was directed at Lenna and the other was directed at Shamesh.

The compressed beams of dark mana hit, and then washed over, Lenna and Shamesh as if it were expecting them to take it in and cycle it through their bodies as Isaac would have. "Shamesh?" Lenna called out. The beam of dark mana was so intense that she couldn't see through it even if it just flowed harmlessly over her.

"I a- -ere, m- -ady." Shamesh's voice came back broken and muffled as the low level illusion spell that he used to speak was being utterly overwhelmed and blasted through by the mana pouring over him.

"Are you alright?" Lenna questioned him.

"Y-s." Shamesh replied. "-- you?" He asked in return.

"Yes." Lenna confirmed. "Do you know what is happening?"

"-o." Shamesh told her.

Lenna could feel Isaac nearly drifting away into mana itself but his anchors to both her and Shamesh seemed to be keeping him firmly in the land of the living and the solid. She felt some kind of strange resonance and vibrations in the dark mana as it blasted into and over her. It was almost as if it had a mind of its own and was doing something that she couldn't understand.

—

Isaac sat on the bank of a river of black water. He sat on dark gray sand with his bare feet half submerged in the tiny beach. Behind him there was nothing but black stone until it faded out of sight. He hadn't turned to look at it but he knew that his side of the bank was a mirror of the other side instinctively. He had a stick in his hand and was poking absently at the sand with it. There was a certain peace in the calm but quickly flowing water and the soft sand beneath him.

"You know, I had thought that you were stronger than this." A voice came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

Isaac didn't reply but just kept poking the sand absently.

"When ?#* and !#* came to me and explained that they had given a mortal something that we had abandoned, I was both surprised and intrigued." The voice continued. Isaac had no idea whether the voice was male or female or if it even existed at all. All he knew was that he understood the words that were spoken, well, most of them. "I have been watching you. You are not that impressive, but your inability to take no for an answer has been entertaining to witness at the very least."

"I'm glad my life has been a good show for you." Isaac replied. His snark had come more from habit than conscious thought.

"But this?" The voice continued. "You should have seen this coming." Isaac got the feeling that the voice was shaking its head at him in disappointment. "She could not see herself or anything too close to her in her vision and she also could not see why you were going to try and invade the nearby city. Anyone with half of your intelligence should have been able to put that together. You are arrogant, naive, and the power that I have given you access to has gone to your head." The voice was as merciless as it was correct and Isaac knew it.

"I know." Isaac replied, barely louder than a whisper.

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"So why are you wallowing?" The voice questioned him. "If it weren't for your mate and the shadow of your soul, you would have faded away and been subsumed. Get a hold of yourself."

Isaac finally looked up from the water and looked around. He couldn't see anyone to direct his gaze at so he just looked up into the infinite void of the sky above him. "Am I not allowed to mourn?" He demanded.

"Mourning is different from despondency." The voice countered. "Look at all that you have achieved with the power you have access to. You have succeeded more times than you have failed, you have won more times than you have lost, even with your extreme lack of foresight. Do I need to explain to you what you should be doing? I had thought that your intelligence and wisdom were high, apparently not."

"What if I want you to tell me what I should do?" Isaac wondered.

"You don't." The voice replied. "You hate being told what to do. You are like a small child who thinks that they are smarter than the adults around them. If you do not wish to let your mate down, to let down the one who just gave you half of her soul's given time in the mortal world, then use your mind that you are so proud of for something productive and stop wallowing in self-pity and despondency. Child, if you wish to be a grown up, then act like one."

"You know, Mannen, you are a lot meaner than I expected." Isaac told the voice.

"Maybe we are, maybe we aren't." The voice replied. "I am only a fragment after all. But even so, if you wish to continue to receive my aid when you are in need, then prove to me that you are worth it and not just some Luck, Lua, and Fate blessed idiotic child."

—

All of the mana around Isaac blasted outwards in every direction as his internal reserves were almost instantly returned to normal. Nearly six times his maximum mana reserves were vacated in a torrent of blackness that blew the blankets off of him and knocked over the lamp that he never used. Lenna was pushed off the bed and landed with a thud and an: "Ow." It was highly likely that the fall had not been what brought her pain but the movement of her body instead. Her base resilience was beyond the ability to receive damage by a fall off of the bed, even a low enough amount of damage to elicit a pain response.

Isaac felt invigorated and drained, full and empty, stretched and relaxed, all at the same time. "Are you alright?" Isaac asked Lenna and got up to help her. Shamesh arrived before he did but Lenna waited to get up until both of them knelt down to loop her arms around their shoulders.

"Yes." Lenna confirmed as the boys helped her to her feet and then into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. "What about you? What was that?"

Isaac's eyes unfocused as his thoughts turned to the conversation that he had just had. "I… I have to use my mind." He said more to himself than to Lenna. He smacked his cheeks in an effort to help himself focus but it did little to help clear the fog of depression that had made itself at home in his psyche.

"Use your mind?" Lenna wondered.

Isaac shook his head. "I don't know how, yet." He told her. "I need some tea and to leave this room."

"I'll fetch some." Shamesh stated and quickly moved to leave.

"And something sweet." Isaac added before Shamesh got to the door.

"Right away, my Lord." Shamesh replied and bowed as he left the room.

"Am I… weak?" Isaac asked his wife a little while after Shamesh had left hearing range.

"What?" Lenna questioned, utterly dumbfounded. When it came to power per level, Isaac was so completely through the roof that the rest of the chart basically didn't even exist. Especially when effort was taken into account.

"I broke." He told her and sat next to her on the bed. The two leaned their shoulders against each other as their conversation continued. "Aria died, for good, and Claus committed suicide to keep me from going after him. Both of them died, one directly because of me, my first friends, the people I trusted the most below you, and I completely broke." Isaac went on. "That's normal though, isn't it?" Isaac's question was practically pleading for Lenna to answer.

Lenna turned slightly so his shoulder would slip under her arm and she wrapped her arms around him. "Yes, my love, I think it is." She replied. "It is alright to feel pain. It is alright to be sad. It is alright to break down. As long as you get back up afterwards, I will never fault you for your tears." Her words only made the tears start coming.

All of the feelings that Isaac's psyche had blocked out came at him in a wave. His love for Lenna, the guilt over Claus's death, the happiness at the granted wish, the sorrow at Aria's demise, the pride in his accomplishments, the fear of the future and the threats still roaming the outside world, the peace of his home, and the rage at what the raiding party had done to those he cared about. All of it hit him like an entire runaway caravan loaded with bricks and pulled by furious pecurke.

Isaac barely noticed when Shamesh returned with a cart of tea and pastries a few minutes later. He just stayed in Lenna's arms for a few minutes and let all of his emotions out in streaming tears and snotty sobs.

After nearly ten full minutes of Isaac's heart wringing itself out in the comforting embrace of the one he held most dear, Isaac took a deep shuttering breath and pushed himself away from Lenna so he could sit upright. "Okay." He said more to himself than to Lenna or Shamesh. "That was enough of that." He clapped himself on the cheeks again and wiped his face with his sleeve. "Time to get to work." He turned and gave Lenna a kiss. "Rest, my love, I won't ever be far." He told her and rose to his feet.

"Are you heading to your study?" Lenna wondered as she looked up at him.

"For now, until I figure out what I need to do, and what I'm missing." He told her and started ripping off his old clothes for new ones that weren't sweaty and that he hadn't worn for the last forty hours straight. Once he was ready, Isaac headed up to his study in an instant as he seamlessly shadow-stepped from one end of the house to the other. Shamesh bowed to Lenna and hurried after him with the tea and sweats, after he handed a chocolate puff to Lenna without her asking.

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