As I woke, I blinked sheepishly into the dimly lit room. I waited and waited. The snippet of impending smoke and ash didn't come, instead leaving me with a peaceful silence and calm breaths.

"Looks like it worked just fine. I guess the smelly grease isn't so bad after all," I sighed.

Without nightmares to disrupt my awakening, I stood up and walked to the bathroom. With a tap of my tail, the room's lights turned on and I leaned toward the mirror. My skin looked flawless and my horns sparkled as they caught the light.

I dragged my fingers down my face and inspected my eyes but found them rested without strain.

"I wonder if I can bribe him into mass-producing this stuff. Might be a good market for it…"

Taking care of my ablutions, I slipped on my clothes and headed downstairs.

Breakfast first, then we hand four idiots their asses on a plate. Sounds doable enough.

***

I stared at the chaos invading the dining room. Walter stood at one end with a glowing broomstick, wielding it like a sword as he slapped away an oozing, yellow, slimy monstrosity hanging off the ceiling.

In another corner, Teddy's parents were bound in fresh slime. Spiky protrusions that looked like silver and bone jutted from their limbs, stabbing through their legs and into the floor below. Around them, water flowed in reverse gravity, coating the floors in as much liquid as the slime. Along the walls and in a giant spot above the table, burnt wood and stone dripped blackened ash atop their heads.

They weren't alone. Broken Tower along with Khrem sat on the opposite end of the mayhem casually eating breakfast while ignoring the chaos. Arturous whined, but Teddy grabbed an entire slab of ham and fed it to him.

"Ignore them. They'll be fine," he reassured his companion.

Walter flickered to the side, avoiding a bone-breaking slam of a slimy club before summoning a shield into his right hand. The shield looked suspiciously like a cloche used in last night's dinner.

He blocked a second attack and turned his head. "Ah. Apologies, sir Cyrus. Good morning to you. Breakfast is ready and if you desire a drink I have plenty to choose from."

"Do I want to know?" I asked.

"Ignore them," Teddy said for the second time. "Come eat and we'll head to the arena."

"Do not fret, sir!" Walter grunted. He backflipped and then corkscrew-dived between a wall of appendages before slamming into the monster with the cloche-shield. His broom speared the monster's core and blew a sizable hole free, but the slime reformed and began attacking anew. He dodged to the side and retreated toward the kitchen. "I'll have this handled before you return. Leave the cleaning to me, and enjoy your meal."

"Riiiiight," I said, sitting down furthest away from the weirdness. I grabbed a plate of sausages and nudged Teddy. "You sound on edge."

"I'm fine," he replied.

"Now you sound like me."

"He's grumpy because his parents went a little crazy testing their new perk. They may or may not have broken into the castle's training rooms and brought home something cursed," Isaac explained.

"Cursed? We talking like your face, or we talking capital Curse with actual magical explanations?"

I skewered the sausage thrown at me with my tail and dipped it into some syrup. When I took a bite, I made sure to exaggerate the motion, deliberately dripping the juices over my chin as I maintained eye contact with the rogue.

"Gross."

"I don't know," I swallowed. "Live a little. You might find some sausage good for you. At the very least it'll keep your mouth shut."

"Big talk for someone who avoids people like they're deceased. At least I get some, what about you," he countered.

"You're telling me they actually enjoy the asshole-emo-shtick you got going on? Shocker."

"If you are having problems, I know a recipe. Simple tonic as well as a cream. Very popular on the islands for nervous young men and some of the older villagers," Khrem said.

"Khrem, no. Everything is working as it should be."

"Boys," Celenae snapped. "We are eating breakfast. Keep that crass for later."

"Fine, fine. So again, are we talking cursed or Cursed?"

"The former." She glanced at Teddy's parents who were currently being pulled into the monster's spine-covered mouth. "This is a pseudo construct. Tier three rift orb that creates a slime-like golem."

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

"Can't Walter just break it? Or your parents? I'm assuming they are tied up because they want to be."

"They do," Teddy said neutrally. He scraped the last of his food off his plate before standing up. "And they have already broken the orb. Thankfully, the crown has seven more and this is only used for training exercises for the royal guard. They'll pay a fine and we'll receive a visit from the quartermaster. We'll be out of the manor before he arrives."

Teddy marched out of the room with Arturous in tow. The big lug spared one last look at Teddy's parents before shaking his head and plodding off.

"Should we be worried? If Teddy's acting like that I'd hate to see-guys?"

The rest of Broken Tower started cramming food down their gullets and began leaving the room in a sprint.

Khrem slowly stood up. "I fear this is becoming all-too-sane."

I laughed and made a giant breakfast sandwich as I stood up. "Probably for the best, Khrem. Adventuring seems like the kind of job that requires you to be a little not-right in the head."

"Sadly, I agree."

We waved our goodbyes and ran from the manor. Broken Tower stood atop Arturous and as soon as we jumped on he barreled down the road.

We barely made it halfway down the path before a loud, earth-shaking rumble tore the earth behind us. I turned and watched stone and mud pull itself from the ground and begin to form gigantic limbs.

"LIGHTCRESTS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY ORB?!" boomed the voice of an angry man.

"Heads forward. We do not stop until we are out of Uncle Tyrrion's skill radius," Teddy commanded.

"Who's Uncle Tyr-"

"No!" the others screamed in unison.

"Don't say his name. Not until we're in the arena," Igas said shakily.

The oni twitched and glanced fearfully at the nearly-formed titanic earthen man towering above the manor.

I shook my head and patted Khrem's shoulders. "Before you start thinking we're insane, I was shown a vision of you playing mad doctor to some poor bandaged individuals."

"My fervor does not reduce the intense insanity trailing this team's coattails," he replied.

"Maybe not, but I wouldn't have it any other way!"

We rushed past wild eyes and scared people completing their morning activities. With a laugh, I stood up and enjoyed the wind in my hair.

Now they can't blame me if crazy things happen. What's crazier than that?

***

We settled into the booth and I pulled out the snacks as usual. Except when Sereza sat down I crossed my arms instead of handing her a sandwich.

"What?" she asked.

"Spill," I said.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Sereza. For a moment, I foolishly believed that today would be nice and relatively normal. I realize how foolish that was but come on. You're not wearing a mask, and I don't need Galarion to tell me something's bothering you."

"Whatever the issue is, we are willing to help," Teddy added.

She squirmed in her chair.

We had about fifteen minutes before the announcer started the matches for the day, so I was willing to wait. She held out for a solid ten, managing to avoid looking me in the eye but she eventually caved.

"Before I explain, you explain first. Was that Tyrrion Solcrust's golem atop the hill? Why was he at your home?"

"My parents were being reckless and decided to antagonize an old friend," Teddy said.

"That explains nothing and yet somehow everything."

He shrugged. "Do you want to explain what's wrong? If not, I won't force you, but know we are here."

She bit her lip and gazed around the booth. "Remember your offer from before?"

"If you need sanctuary, it's yours. If House Meldras is trying to step foot into our kingdom, my parents can approach the king. A luneterran noble will find they have zero teeth in our lands, Sereza. I assure you."

"No! No. Not the king. That's too much. But thank you. If it's not a problem, I'll come with you after today's matches. I have most of my things in my storage device."

"I'll have Walter prepare a room."

"That is sudden. Are you sure you're okay?" Celenae asked.

"I'm…" She took a deep breath and combed her hair. "I'll manage. It's sudden for me as well. There was no warning but I shouldn't be surprised. Yet… I am."

Sereza held out her hand and summoned a black envelope onto her palm. I grabbed it first, and flipped it open, pulling out a single page of dark blue paper. My thumb rubbed against the destroyed sigil carved into its back–the rune had expanded across half the page.

"Mana leaf. This was enchanted." I prodded at the lines and probed with my senses but found there was no mana signature other than Sereza's own. "What was it supposed to do?"

"Destroy itself. It's a common practice used by nobles when you want to leave no trace. There was barely enough mana inside the paper to activate the rune but mana leaf is highly flammable," she explained.

That tracks. The rune's not too complicated either.

I flipped the paper over and read through the contents. It was surprisingly shorter than I expected, but the more I read the angrier I became.

Dear Daughter,

I have fled the kingdom. I've fired the maids and taken Pyrus with me. House Meldras has come to collect a debt that I will not pay. Neither will I allow them the pleasure of sic'ing their hounds against what is mine.

Do not search. You will not find me. The usual safe house has been destroyed, and I've ordered Pyrus to scrub the manor of my presence.

If you know what's good for you, you will hide. Avoid those gold-blooded mutts you've grown attached to. Continue the foolish game you've decided to play. Join another group of roaches and hide. Sacrifice them if you must and join another. I will collect you if you live.

Do not disappoint yourself. Do not disappoint me.

-F

I nearly crumpled the paper but held myself back. Instead, I tossed the letter over to Teddy for them to read. My gaze stayed on Sereza as she waited anxiously for the letter to be passed around.

Slowly, the other's faces warped into one of disgust and in Isaac's case: fury.

"What a piece of shit," he growled.

"He… Is. Thankfully the enchantments around the house are tied to my mana so they didn't activate."

"What enchantments?" Eodyne asked.

Sereza grabbed her tail and held it down. "Purge protocol dictates the scrubbing of all organic traces. After that the house is to explode and burn with carefully prepared alchemic creations hidden in the walls. It's to be thorough. The usual for those prepared to go into hiding. They'll activate when someone enters the greeting room."

"We'll inform my parents and they can have it sectioned off. An explosion is a threat to the city. Enchanters and alchemists will prevent it from damaging the district," Teddy said.

Isaac snorted. "Typical huh. We should find the bastard. I'm sure the captain would love to hear his explanation about that."

"No, he's not-"

"If you want, we could always kill him," I offered. "What? It can't be that hard, he's only a tier two or something, right?"

"Cyrus…"

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